


Your help just hurts

by aqua_tan



Series: Of dragons and cats [2]
Category: HiGH&LOW: the Story of S.W.O.R.D. (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Domestic Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Gore, Not Canon Compliant, Panic Attacks, Smoking, Smoky has a cat, Smoky lives
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:35:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 31
Words: 132,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26426491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aqua_tan/pseuds/aqua_tan
Summary: Usually if one hits rock bottom, the only way to go is up. And then there are some that grab a shovel and start to dig.
Relationships: Amamiya Hiroto/Kirinji, Amamiya Masaki & Kirinji
Series: Of dragons and cats [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1921057
Comments: 29
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Set before the second chapter of "Just surrender and it won't hurt at all", so spoilers for that. 
> 
> English is not my native language.

The heavy rain was deafening that night, drowning out most noises, even the loud shouts of the fight going on. And then after those had died down all that could be heard was sobbing and pleading for an end to it all, sounding so utterly broken and hopeless.

Kirinji didn't know how he had gotten out of the cold rain, still feeling so very numb. A blanket was put around his shoulders before he was left to himself again where he sat on the floor.

So there he was, dazed and confused, still riding out the aftershock of his little (big) freak out, not knowing where he actually was or how he'd wound up there, but he did realize after some time that he wasn't alone. No, because Tsukumo had the bright idea to leave Kirinji with the Amamiyas of all people possible, because he and Kohaku were off to see to some other important business.

So there he was, damp hair hanging in his eyes that are all red from crying, while his clothes were just as much a mess as he was. He didn't even feel like himself. Though, the worst thing was that he wasn't alone. No. Both Amamiyas were there (of course they were there, it was their living room after all) and stare at him, Masaki more than Hiroto, even though he vaguely remembered him being the one giving him the blanket he was clutching to himself.

Kirinji had no clue what Tsukumo or Kohaku had told them about him and a not so small part of him was getting more and more worried (and scared) of what the Amamiyas might do to him. He did try to put on a brave front, but it actually made him look only more pathetic than his red eyes and tear-streaked cheeks already did. And then Masaki dropped down to one knee in front of him and ruffled his hair. He was oddly careful with him and it threw Kirinji for a loop, so much so that he was close to crying again. He didn't understand what did prompt such a reaction to someone like him by someone like them. It was only when Masaki offered him some clean and most importantly dry clothes, that Kirinji noticed that his jacket was missing and with it the Kuryu pin. He knew that he was still wearing it when this all began, which now felt like a lifetime ago.

Had Tsukumo taken it from him before handing him over? But why would he do that? They were enemies.

He hadn't been able to fight them the first time at Iemura, knocked down and embarrassed, not that it was anything new. He must've looked like some weak kitten, sitting on the floor all while staring up at the others with big eyes before he had realized his mistake. The fight inside him had died pretty quickly back then.

Now though, he didn't think he could even muster any of that courage or strength, even if he tried. He probably looked even more like some weak and wet kitten, huddled in the blanket he'd been given god knew why.

He laid curled up on one of the armchairs in the living room that night, dressed in clothes that were too big for him. Though, sleep wouldn't come. Every time he closed his eyes, his mind replayed over and over again the events that led to this, trying to make sense of any of this. But it was no use. The important details were a blurr because of course they were. Why would he ever be lucky?

His minds drifted back to the bits and pieces of the conversation he had been able to make out between Masaki and Hiroto from when they had been talking in a far corner of the room. From the bits he had been able to make out, he now knew that they didn't exactly know who he was, though wasn't certain whether they knew who he used to work for. Still worked for? Would that even still be possible? He wasn't sure. He would've a lot of explaining to do about this, but there laid the problem. He didn't even know just how he'd gotten in this mess, much less how he was supposed to get out of it again.

The next morning, things weren't any easier than they were the night before. If anything they were worse.

Kirinji had no idea how to act in front of the Amamiyas, torn between being his usual insufferable self and the part of him that hadn't given up on self-preservation yet. It was like walking on eggshells, only worse. At least with Iemura he knew the rules, though there was still the chance of being punished. With the Amamiyas however, he was treated in an almost gentle way. He had almost forgotten how it felt not to be threatened or mocked on a daily basis. The fear remained though. Fear of being caught, of being known who he really was, of this all being some weird game, a big joke he was the only one not in the know about.


	2. Chapter 2

It took four days before Krinji realized that Masaki thought he was younger than he was.

He was still afraid to talk to either of them, always waiting for them to do the first move, be it a conversation or something else they want him to do around the house. At first it had been odd that they would let him stay just like that. But there was always at least one of them there and had an eye on him, so maybe it wasn't that odd, he wasn't sure.

The second morning right after breakfast, he was staring at the used plates on the table for longer than necessary (or maybe that was just his mind playing tricks on him since time didn't feel real anymore), right until Masaki had asked him with that odd puppy dog eyes look on his face if he could do the dishes. Kirinji had moved without thinking, picking up the dirty plates and cups and had carried them over to the sink before he even knew what he was doing. He only realized just what he had done when he heard Masaki behind him call out to Hiroto that he was a good kid for doing as asked without making a big fuss about it or arguing about whose turn it was.

It was stupid really, but nothing to get mad about. The only problem was that Masaki continued to do this. Dirty dishes, dirty laundry, sweep and mop the floors, always prompted by those stupidly big eyes and begging pout.

It was only when Hiroto pulled him aside while he was sweeping the floor and told him that he didn't need to do everything Masaki wanted from him, that he was allowed to say no. But that was the thing, wasn't it? Was he really allowed to say no?

He still waited for this all to blow up in his face and the longer this went on, the more he thought this was all some sort of test, though for what, he didn't know.

It was the fourth morning then when Masaki made some off-hand comment about how nice it was to have a younger brother who actually did what was asked of him. Kirinji was in the middle of washing the dishes that he heard that and almost lost his grip on one of the plates as he stared in disbelief up at Masaki who just blinked back at him as if he didn't realize what he'd just said.

While he never really looked it (especially now), he was still fairly certain that he and Hiroto were only a couple of years apart in age, if at all. He had given up on styling his hair in his usual way, letting it hang in his eyes instead, while keeping his head down most of the time. It made him feel even weaker than before. But it was worse, it also made him look younger, way younger than he was.

He was still waiting for the other shoe to drop, but with each passing day, it didn't seem like it would.

It did absolutely nothing to ease his worries or calm his mind. Quite the opposite, he was even more on edge than ever before. He did his best to hide his nervous ticks, both because he didn't want to get mocked nor to have it be exploited.

That didn't prevent Masaki from standing in front of him one night and wordlessly taking the hand Kirinji had been biting at his knuckles at and dragged him away from the armchair he'd been sitting on and back to his bedroom. Kirinji didn't even know what was going on and only felt his will to fight return the moment Masaki joined him in bed and held him close as if he was some big teddy bear.

His overactive mind did nothing to help him in that moment, tormenting him with ideas of what the other might want, which only served to make him freeze up in fear. But nothing happened, not immediately, not after ten minutes, not after 30, not after one hour or two. No, Masaki had actually fallen asleep pretty much right after misusing him as some sort of plush toy. And still, sleep wouldn't come that night. Every time, Masaki so much as breathed or sighed in his sleep would cause Kirinji to freeze up anew, laying there stiff as a board while wondering how things could've escalated like this to end with him in this situation.

* * *

Things didn't get better the next morning when he exited Masaki's room and walked right into Hiroto who stared wordlessly at him with some odd expression he couldn't place. Kirinji had just managed to drag himself back to a chair to sit down for a minute or two and actually rest his eyes when he heard some commotion coming from Masaki's room that sounded as if he was being woken up in some rude fashion and now complained about it.

The whole day, Masaki didn't say anything about what had happened the other night.

Kirinji wasn't sure what was worse, Hiroto watching them both with the same odd expression from that morning or when Masaki actually dragged him to bed again that night, misusing him as his own personal teddy bear once more. Kirinji didn't really sleep that night either, still too afraid that something might happen he'd need to be prepared for.

Things continued like that for several nights, with each time, Kirinji's resistance was worn down more and more until he eventually accepted the weird sleeping arrangement to the point of him actually going straight to Masaki's room and wait there for him, which got rewarded with a big smile and Masaki ruffling his hair again.

It was the next morning when things started to get even more awkward.

The moment Kirinji opened his eyes, he was greeted by the sight of Hiroto standing next to the bed and stare down at him, them, and Kirinji felt not just his face heat up, but also his stupid traitor heart leap into his throat, making him open and close his mouth a couple of times, though no words would come out.

This wasn't how it looked like, he wanted to say. They hadn't done anything other than sleep all tangled up together, though it was mostly Masaki using him as a body pillow.

Another moment or two passed before Hiroto grabbed Masaki's arm rather unceremoniously and pulled it away from Kirinji which allowed him to get away from the other and out of bed. He didn't think he'd ever fled a scene as quickly as he had done in that moment, only pausing by the door and turned to see Hiroto looking after him with that same odd expression he had shown him before. He still couldn't place it, but it was not anger he saw in those dark eyes. He knew anger when he saw it, but this was not it. It was something else that made the hairs on his neck stand up, but not because he feared for his well-being, but out of excitement, as odd as it sounded.

Meanwhile, Hiroto was still holding onto his brother's arm and then pulled him out of bed with maybe more force than necessary which made Masaki finally wake up and complain. It sounded just like the last time when Hiroto had seen him exited his brother's room, which made Kirinji wonder whether Hiroto had woken up Masaki in the same manner the last time.

It made him question some things, especially why Hiroto would care. They didn't know each other and he probably didn't even care about him all that much, if at all. Sure, the Amamiyas had been so kind to let him stay, but they didn't know him, didn't know who he was and worked for, about any of the things he had done in the past. By all means, they really shouldn't care about him.

But that was just like him, wasn't it? To take full advantage of them not knowing the truth.

The realisation hit him hard, knowing that if people wouldn't know about his identity, that they would actually be nice to him and treat him well, even though he could do without the still kind of strange sleeping arrangement or Hiroto having seemingly some sort of problem with it.

Maybe he thought that he was monopolizing his brother? That had to be it. Yes, that made the most sense.

Imagine his surprise when that very night, Kirinji found Hiroto laying on Masaki's bed and reading some magazine. The sight made him stop short in the doorway, not knowing what to make of that development. It was only Masaki coming in to the room that he snapped out of his daze, silently following Masaki demanding to know what Hiroto was doing in his bed.

That was it, Kirinji thought, wondering if now was the time the other shoe would drop, but instead he was left to witness both Masaki and Hiroto yelling at each other, both of them accusing the other of monopolizing him.

It left Kirinji reeling, not believing what he was hearing. That had to be a joke. Why would they fight over him? It made no sense.

The longer he listened to them and heard them recount how one of them had supposedly spent more time with him than the other and how that wasn't fair, the more he felt panic rise up in his chest. It got to the point of him having to sit down because he could feel darkness creep in the corner of his eyes, making him dizzy and nauseous.

Why would they say any of those things, making it sound as if they actually cared? They couldn't... they shouldn't.

It took him a bit, but at some point, he realized that he was actually crying which didn't help matters at all. It made him feel even more pathetic, even more so than when Tsukumo had dropped him off here.

Why would they care enough to argue over him?

And then the little voice in the back of his mind reminded him that they didn't know who he was and they would stop if they did.

 _Just tell them_ , it urged him.

But that was the thing. He actually liked this, liked that he was treated as if he actually mattered, that there were people who cared enough to argue about him. But that all only further pushed him deeper and deeper into the crying fit, no longer caring that the other two would see him like that, all stupid and broken.

Apparently, the pathetic sight and ugly sobbing noises were enough for Masaki and Hiroto to finally stop fighting and pay attention to Kirinji who now sat on the bed with his legs pulled up to his chest, with one hand over his mouth to try (and fail) to muffle any noises, while the other hand gripped at his hair, desperately hoping that the pain would ground him, but it didn't.

He wasn't sure what prompted him to start talking, maybe he had imagined one of the asking what was wrong, but the next thing he knew was him telling them, more like crying and hiccuping his way through him admitting who he was and who he used to work for.

It was so utterly stupid and he knew that much, but once he had started talking he couldn't stop again. It only spiraled from there with him telling them that he couldn't understand why they were nice to him when all he'd ever done was hurt people because he was stupid and jealous and angry and oh so selfish. Even now, all he did was hurt the only people who were nice to him.

But maybe it would be better that way, push them away before they could get attached or because he had already made the mistake of getting attached, to them, to this kind of life.

Maybe now that they knew, they would be kind enough to put him out of his misery. And wouldn't that be kind of ironic?

He had feared to end like Noboru for making mistakes and rejecting his friends, while he had begun to make the mistake of rejecting his former life. If he could, he would burn that past. But that was impossible now, not with all of this out in the open.

He was too scared to look up and see their reaction, he did however notice them come closer.

Any moment now it would be over. But the final blow never came.

Instead, he felt a hand on his head, oh so gently petting his hair as if they were afraid to break him. Slowly looking up, Kirinji saw that it was Hiroto. He was looking at him with that same odd expression he still couldn't place and then he gave him the tiniest of smiles and suddenly Kirinji did realize what the expression meant and it shattered the last bit of self he was clinging to.

He didn't deserve this, he thought as he felt new tears well up in his eyes.

Why would he look at him with affection and on top of that even going so far as to comfort him?

It made no sense.

It also made no sense to his pain riddled and confused mind why Hiroto would sit down next to him then while he continued to pet his hair, much less when Masaki did the same on his other side and hug him.

He must've passed out some time after that because the next time he was aware of his surroundings, he was in Masaki's bed with both Amamiyas laying on either side of him. It was Hiroto sleeping on his side facing him with one of his arms thrown over Kirinji's middle, which was so oddly gentle that it almost made him want to cry again.

He really didn't deserve this.

He didn't even know where the dream he had that night came from because by all means after what happened earlier, he really shouldn't dream something like that, at all.

And still there he was, feeling familiar fingers stroke through his hair, all slow and gentle and oh so pleasant. Eventually, they slipped further down his neck which caused him to whine softly in his sleep. He had just started to like that. But then the fingers were back, caressing his cheek, still so very gentle that it almost made him want to cry.

He couldn't even remember the last time anyone had touched him like that. It was always rough which he didn't mind, but this, this was like heaven and probably not something he deserved.

And still those gentle fingers weren't done with their exploration.

There was a thumb brushing over his lips, doing so slowly until he eventually parted them slightly which made the thumb stop moving for a moment or two before he felt it slowly brush over his bottom lip which caused him to make a low sound in the back of his throat, urging those gentle fingers on to continue.

But it never happened, instead he heard someone call his name nearby, causing his eyes to snap open, darting around the room in confusion before they settled on Hiroto who stood next to the bed. For some reason he looked a little startled. But before Kirinji could find his voice and ask him why, he told him that Masaki had made breakfast. Nodding in understanding, he watched Hiroto leave the room, still feeling a little out of it until not just the events of the last night but also that dream were back on his mind.

Oh gods, had he made any embarrassing sounds in his sleep? Was that why Hiroto had reacted like that?

Pulling the blanket over his head to try and hide from the world, Kirinji let out a low groan of frustration as he felt his face heat up.

This couldn't be happening. Why did he have such weird dreams all of a sudden?

Eventually getting out of bed, Masaki greeted him like always, acting almost as if the confessions from last night had never happened. There were no intruding questions, no comments. It was just as if it all had been one terrible dream. That was until he glanced over to Hiroto and saw him being unable to hold his gaze for long.

That was definitely weird.

Oh gods, had he said anything embarrassing in his sleep? Maybe during that unprompted dream? That had to be it. He must've said something stupid, though what, he couldn't remember.

Why did it have be Hiroto's hands he had to fantasize about anyway? Wasn't he already struggling enough without having to wonder why his mind was tormenting him with those pleasant hands?


	3. Chapter 3

A day later, he was being told that Kohaku and Tsukumo had announced that they would be back in a day or two. It was enough to make Kirinji anxious because the last time he had seen either of them, things had been rather odd, but not as odd as they were now.

He must've been a little too obvious with his hesitation to the news because Masaki suddenly proposed for them to go out and get him new clothes. After all, ever since Tsukumo and Kohaku had dropped him off here, he hadn't set a foot outside the door. He hadn't even minded turning into some recluse because it meant not having to look over his shoulder when going outside, always fearing to see a familiar car in the distance. Getting new clothes, though, meant not having to wear the ones the Amamiyas had given him because his own suit pants and dress shirt weren't really the ideal clothes to wear every single day when all he mostly did was clean after the other two.

So there he was being presented to Kohaku and Tsukumo as Masaki and Hiroto showed off the clothes they had gotten him.

He didn't look anything like his old self, gone were the suit pants and instead being replaced by a pair of black jeans that were tight in the right places, something Kirinji had questioned when Masaki had picked them out for him. Had he been a little more himself he would've questioned whether Masaki's intention was to doll him up, but that couldn't be.

On the other hand, Hiroto had handed him a black leather jacket with a fur collar that was a little too big for him (something he wasn't all that sure about since it wasn't his usual style, but also because it reminded him of another life). The jacket was just like the rest of the clothes Hiroto had borrowed him up until now, a little too big to fit right.

He would be lying if he said that he hadn't come to like clothes he could burrow himself in, even if they made him look ridiculously young.

The one item he had wanted himself, and neither Hiroto nor Masaki had managed to talk him out of, was a dark red, almost black shirt that had flowers embroidered in it with the same colored thread as the shirt itself. It was subtle, but still noticeable upon looking closer. Topped off was this with a pair of black boots that gave him an inch or so extra height, something he definitely liked.

He really didn't look like himself anymore, so much so that Tsukumo had to do a double take when he saw him, much to Masaki's amusement it seemed because he was ruffling his hair (that he'd decided to keep down) as he beamed at the other man with obvious pride. Turning his head from Masaki to look up to Hiroto to check his reaction, Kirinji was suddenly grabbed by his chin and without warning kissed on his cheek. The whole thing left him dazed and utterly confused and reeling, not understanding why he'd do that.

“Yes, he looks really good.” Hiroto commented, something Kirinji didn't fully hear, still too dazed.

He also didn't hear Masaki suddenly complaining and trying to pull him away from his brother, while accusing him of stealing him away again.

What?

It was kind of fun in a weird way until...

“You seem to be feeling better.”

“That's right, Rin-chan.” Tsukumo added in agreement with Kohaku.

This absolutely snapped Kirinji out of his daze and had him glare back at him. Nobody shortened his name, especially not to something so cutesy as Rin-chan. He was proud of his name. It was the only thing Iemura hadn't managed to take away from him.

The newly awakened fire and fight in his eyes must've been something because Kohaku was suddenly paying a bit more attention to him, not least because he told Tsukumo off.

“Piss off!”

It was the first time since coming here that he actually sounded like himself again, standing his ground as he glared back at Tsukumo.

Upon looking back, maybe he shouldn't have made such a fuss about it because he was alone against four of the best fighters in this day and age and he had just made the mistake to tell one of them to get lost.

He really had a death wish, didn't he?

The oddest thing about it was that he wasn't being punched then and there. No, Kohaku merely looked him up and down before glancing briefly over to Tsukumo. “You're just like a hissing cat.” Kohaku smiled while patting him on the shoulder and looking rather amused as Kirinji's glare returned.

He didn't understand, not why this all seemed to be funny to Kohaku, nor why he called him a cat. At least he wasn't getting murdered over standing up for himself, even if it was just his name.

Kohaku and Tsukumo stayed for another day, telling them that they would go back to Sannoh to check on the others and even went as far as to ask them if they wanted to come along. Kirinji didn't answer, didn't think the invitation would include him, so when Masaki did ask him for his opinion, he was rather startled.

Why would he want to go to Sannoh? The last time he had gone there, he had tried to get more land for Kuryu. Now though, he wasn't sure what he should even do there.

And still, he agreed because Masaki had used those stupid puppy dog eyes on him. Why did they even work on him? He hadn't minded at first, but now he actually got mad at himself for falling for the same trick again and again.

* * *

Travelling with them was interesting, Kirinji had to admit since they were five but had only four bikes which meant that he had to ride with one of them because apparently renting a car was not an option.

Of course Kirinji had asked at first, believing it to be the best idea since they could swap drivers throughout the trip. But he had quickly learned that seemingly none of the others could drive a car, as outlandish as that idea was to him.

A car would've been perfect in Kirinji's opinion, something like a roof over their heads and lots of room for their stuff.

In the end, he had agreed to their usual means of travel after refusing to drive them the whole time had they went for the car option. Deciding whose offer to take was another problem though. He really wanted to ride with Hiroto, but Masaki kept on begging him to choose him. Tsukumo was a non-option because he really didn't want to share a bike with him after he had called him Rin-chan, something that still made him mad. Which left Kohaku who had offered, but didn't sound as if he minded if he wouldn't accept. In the end, he had gone for Kohaku's offer.

Kirinji hadn't thought that travelling to Sannoh actually meant a full road trip before getting there.

It wasn't bad, he had to admit that much since it gave him the chance to get to know Kohaku and Tsukumo better.

The one thing he found out sooner than he wanted was that when it came to travelling, they were fun to be around, though not so much when it came to everything that came with it that happened on the side of the road. He didn't mind eating instant food once in a while. But for every single meal? That was too much. How had they even survived with a diet like that? And more importantly, how had _he_ ended up as their cook when pointing out the flaw in their daily routine after already being the Amamiyas' cleaner? He wasn't their parent!

He was actually fairly certain that he was younger than the other four, something he wouldn't admit to Masaki because he didn't want to hear about him calling him his little brother again, but still. Why did the youngest had to take care of four full-blown adults?

Two days, it had taken Masaki only two days to not only tell Kohaku and Tsukumo how he saw Kirinji as something like his little brother, but also somehow managed to make them seemingly think the same thing.

It was hell.

How had it come to this? Maybe this all was just some very long and very weird dream? Though, he doubted that he was that lucky.

At least Hiroto didn't view him as his little brother. That was the only bright spot in this otherwise very strange new life. Hiroto really was like the sun for him, bright yet quiet, but his smiles were oh so nice. Compared to him the other three were... idiots. There was no other word for it.

How had these people managed to defeat Kuryu time and time again? They were a mess and now he was somehow a part of it.

* * *

Eventually arriving at Sannoh and Itokan was even more weird than Kirinji had imagined it to be. He kept close to Hiroto and Masaki, all but hiding behind them and tried not to be seen (especially by Noboru because he really didn't need that conversation right now), if that was even possible.

It worked for all but 10 minutes before Kohaku turned his conversation with Cobra on him as he looked back over to them.

How the others hadn't noticed him until then was a mystery to Kirinji and he wished he could redo it because now that the eyes of the members of Sannoh Rengokai were turned towards him, he was certain one of them would actually try to murder him, some of them did look the part. It was also in that moment that he was grateful for Tsukumo for staying between the others and the Amamiyas and him when it looked like someone of them would try to come over and demand answers to questions he didn't feel like giving, not that he actually knew them himself.

He was about to say that he would wait outside when Kohaku came over and introduced him to the others properly which really didn't help at all. If anything Cobra now looked as if he was close to having a stroke, not least because Kohaku had one arm around Kirinji's shoulder while smiling.

Yes, he really should wait outside.

He told them that before he all but fled the diner and instead waited outside by their bikes.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed exactly, maybe half an hour or so later the door opened and Tsukumo came out, checking to see whether he had run off in fright. Something Kirinji answered with a low hum.

He had really toyed with the idea of leaving. But where was he supposed to go? There was nowhere he could turn to, nothing left that he could call home apart from those three oddballs and Hiroto. So he stayed.

They were quiet for a while until Tsukumo couldn't keep his mouth shut anymore.

“Did you leave because you wanted to give Kohaku-san and Cobra some time alone?”

That wasn't the sole reason, but it was a better answer than admitting that he really shouldn't have come with them here.

“Something like that.”

“That's pretty mature of you.” For some reason it didn't sound like a compliment when Tsukumo said it like that and Kirinji told him that. And then Tsukumo had the audacity to smirk at him.

“If you don't like it then you can try hitting me again. Maybe this time you'll actually succeed.”

Kirinji didn't know what it was, but something about Tsukumo made him feel like his old self, made him want to go up to him and try to punch him. Instead, he merely huffed as he shook his head.

One day he would get back at him, but not now.

Eventually, he went back inside, though stayed by the counter where the Amamiyas sat, coming to stand next to Hiroto.

“You okay?”

“Mhm.” Kirinji nodded at Hiroto's question.

It didn't take long for Masaki to demand from Hiroto to move so Kirinji could sit between them which Hiroto didn't even answer. So instead, Masaki stopped complaining and stood up and went to stand on Kirinji's other side, throwing one arm around his shoulders as he told him that they missed him. The acknowledgement made Kirinji blink in surprise and then actually smile a little, which caused the other two to smile in return when they saw his reaction.

Tsukumo wasn't the only one who saw how well those three got along together. Kohaku as well as Cobra also noticed, as did Naomi who stood closest to the trio, and somehow that sight put Cobra a little at ease.


	4. Chapter 4

Soon after that, Kohaku and Tsukumo left just as quickly as they had come, going on another road trip god knew where.

Meanwhile, Masaki and Hiroto had asked Kirinji if he would come with them to visit their brother.

What was he supposed to say to that? Of course he had heard what had happened to the oldest Amamiya, word travelled fast within certain circles. He couldn't (really shouldn't) go there. What was he supposed to do or say anyway other than stand awkwardly next to the other two? He'd rather go back to Sannoh on his own and see how that would go.

In the end however, it was Masaki's stupid puppy dog eyes that had him agree, though doing so reluctantly. Why did that still work on him? He should know better by now and still. At least Hiroto hadn't tried that on him. He'd probably combust on the spot.

He really had it bad for him, didn't he? He hadn't realized it at first, way too busy trying not step on any toes and way too afraid of getting murdered. But now that he felt a little more like himself with each day, he actually had started to realize how nice and pleasant Hiroto was to be around with. Sure he didn't talk as much as Masaki did, but made up for it with those nice smiles. Plus, he was more gentle with him than Masaki was, not that he minded it playful or even rough, but there was just something really endearing about the fact that someone as strong as Hiroto was treating him almost as if he was something precious. There was also the fact that he hadn't been mocked for his freak-outs by either of them. That was definitely something new.

And so he drove with them to Takeru's grave, though the last moment he decided not to go near it, prefering to keep his distance. He knew he was acting weird, but he had his reasons. So instead, he stayed by the trees and watched from afar, feeling the urge to run away bubble up in his chest.

It was odd, really.

He wasn't responsible for their brother's death, but that didn't change the fact that he was still in some way connected to it. It left a bitter taste in his mouth, especially since he had no clue how he should ever explain those thoughts to either of them.

* * *

Some time later Kohaku and Tsukumo came by again and whisked Hiroto and Masaki away to deal with the fallout of revealing Kuryu's casino project. It was an utterly stupid and reckless thing to do. They were four people and Kuryu had so many more people at their disposal.

This time however there were no questions whether they wanted him to come along, not that he would've agreed. He had actually come to like living and wanted to do that for the foreseeable future. And so instead of letting him stay on his own like he would've prefered, they placed him in Naomi's care, as if he was some pet that couldn't take care of itself.

It was ridiculous.

But Kohaku trusted Naomi not to throw him out of Itokan. It was certainly a nice sentiment, but that didn't mean that the rest of Sannoh Rengokai would think the same since they apparently saw Itokan as their base and would probably not tolerate an outside there, especially not someone like him.

Hiroto and Masaki promised to be back as soon as possible, maybe a day or two, maybe three they'd said. And then they left, leaving him back with Naomi who looked at him with resignation, seemingly also not a big fan of that plan.

He planned to stay at a table in a corner of the diner, out of sight as best as that was possible. It worked for a couple of hours until Naomi had enough of looking at his frowny face and went over to him.

“Okay, that's it. If you intend to stay here the whole time then you should at least try to smile a bit because as you're right now, you're scaring off any customer.”

Kirinji looked at her for a long moment before he smiled a bit which honestly looked more like a grimace.

“Better?” It wasn't. If anything that looked even worse than his angry face.

“No.” Naomi pursed her lips. “I know you can smile properly. I've seen how you smiled at the Amamiya brothers.”

Feeling as if he had been caught, he suddenly got up and went to the counter with Naomi following silently behind him to see what he was up to. To her surprise and shock, he went behind the counter and sat down on the floor, out of sight. Naomi couldn't believe what she was seeing.

“Is that better for your business?”

Naomi couldn't help laughing much to Kirinji's irritation. She couldn't believe that this guy used to be their enemy.

It was later that day when Nika came in to help out after business had picked up that Naomi threw a apron at Kirinji's head.

“You'll help.”

Kirinji stared up at Naomi, hands gripping at the apron as if he was about to rip it apart.

“I will not go out there and serve people after you've told me that my face is scaring off your customers.”

That prompted Naomi to shake her head, even smiling a little.

“You're going to cook.”

“I will not do such a thing.”

Now Naomi was actually smirking.

“Kohaku told me that you can cook and you will do that if you want to stay.”

He knew it was an empty threat since she wouldn't throw him out after having promised that he could stay, and yet he took the apron and went to work on the stove.

Naomi and Nika, who didn't seem to be as scared of him as the last time, made him also do other work as the day progressed. Bring out the trash, wash the dishes and sweep the floors when they were alone. He was starting to think that this was all he was doing these days, housework.

What a way to coming crashing down from his previous work, going from making plans to seizing land for redevelopment purposes to being little more than a maid.

That was also when Cobra and the others chose to come in to the diner, stopping dead by the door and staring at him as he swept the floor. The scowl was back in place before he could stop himself, which didn't exactly help with him wearing an apron right now. Since he had never bothered to learn most of their names beyond Cobra's and Noburo's, he was now confronted by a group of mostly confused and some angry members of Sannoh Rengokai.

“What are you doing here?” One guy with an not all too clever expression on his face demanded to know. And since his self-preservation instincts seemed to have flown right out of the window a couple of moments ago, Kirinji turned away instead of answering, something that really didn't go over well.

The next thing he knew was being grabbed by the shoulder and spun around before he was punched square in the jaw which sent him right to the floor. The action caused not just Naomi to shout in surprise, which honestly was a surprise.

Glaring up at the other, Kirinji touched the corner of his lip as he tasted the familiar copper tang of blood.

It was actually a wonder in itself that anyone would hold the guy back. Kirinji didn't know the name of the tallest, but it was him and Noboru, while Cobra told the guy off.

Dan was his name, he had to remember that.

There was even more commotion when they suddenly turned on each other, which actually annoyed Kirinji. Not so good friends after all, it seemed.

Getting back on his feet, Kirinji took off the apron and threw it back onto the counter with a huff before he grabbed his jacket and shoved past the others. He needed to get out of there, desperately.

Once out of the diner, he took a deep breath, actually craving a smoke. And so he walked slowly through the street, one eye over his shoulder the whole time in case anyone would follow him, while looking for some store where he could buy some cigarettes and a lighter.

He had managed without for what, a month? And then one terrible encounter later and he was back to square one.

He wished he were at a point where he wouldn't be surprised anymore by what surprises Sannoh held, but just seeing the two tall girls behind the counter at the register as they asked him to calculate his own change instead of doing that themselves, left him with a twitching eye.

What was it with this region that everyone seemed to be all weird in one way or another?

Not knowing where else to go, he went back to Itokan, though instead of going back inside, he sat down on the ground outside and leaned with his back against the wall right next to the door. Lighting the cigarette, he took a drag of it and blew the smoke in the air while touching the corner of his mouth with his thumb, wincing slightly. He didn't even want to know how that looked like.

This was perfect, just perfect.

He was being left alone to his own devices for maybe a minute or two before the door opened and he heard someone step outside. He didn't bother looking up to check who it was.

All he wanted was being left alone, but it didn't seem as if he was lucky enough for that.

“You shouldn't smoke.” An all too familiar voice told him. It was Noboru. Of course it was him.

“Mind your own business.”

He didn't have the energy nor the patience for this, that much should've been obvious as he turned his head away to the other side.

Noboru managed to be quiet for only a moment or two.

“What are you doing here?” Surprisingly, he didn't sound anywhere near as angry as that other guy had been.

Kirinji didn't answer him, not feeling like he wanted to indulge in some chit-chat with the other man, pretending that what happened between them never did.

Even without looking, he could feel his eyes on him. It was unnerving. Not even Masaki and Hiroto had been like this the first couple of days when he had been with them, always having an eye on him, almost as if they had been afraid he might off himself. Not that he would.

He could hear Noboru suck in some air as if he wanted to say something else when he couldn't stand it anymore. He was back on his feet the next moment, glaring up at the other as he silently dared him to say whatever he felt like saying. But when nothing would follow, Kirinji simply huffed and took the cigarette in one hand and squeezed it until it had went out before he shoved it in Noboru's hand.

“There. Happy now?” With that, he went back inside, not sparing a glance back to see Noboru stare after him with wide eyes.

He'd rather deal with those guys than whatever this was.

Looking over to Cobra when he came in, he saw him glance over in his direction, though soon realized that his questioning gaze was directed at Noboru behind him who shrugged in response to whatever silent question was going on between them.

Kirinji went back behind the counter and stood a feet or two away from Naomi who actually looked relieved which made him wonder what was on her mind, though refrained from asking her, not with so many people in the room.

He only listened half-heartedly to what the conversation was about, something about a truce or whatever between the SWORD groups being in jeopardy or not even happening because White Rascals were having other plans. He didn't particularly care about that until Cobra mentioned Doubt apparently being the reason for Rocky's hesitation. Now that made him perk up, though tried not to be too obvious about it.

He couldn't help himself, he was giddy to find out how that conversation would go.

There seemed to be two fractions, one that wanted to help White Rascals and one that didn't.

The longer this went on, the less Kirinji was able to hold onto himself, giggling to himself before he knew it, which eventually turned into full-blown laughter. That, of course, caused the others to stare at him as if he had lost his mind. Maybe he had, but not for the reason they thought he had.

“What's so funny?”

“You're playing right into Kuryu's hands with this silly squabble.” Kirinji smirked, actually answering because he had never learned to keep his mouth shut.

That then caused several calls of confusion, but also a few angry remarks.

Kirinji, though, couldn't stop talking, way too amused about this and so he did.

“Just let White Rascals perish... and while you're at it, add Rude Boys.” The last part had a bit a slip of the tongue, but if only they knew half of the trouble they were in, they wouldn't discuss any of this, but actually act.

Of course it was Noboru who asked if he could elaborate, but now the fun in it all was gone. He wasn't part of their little friends' group. So why should he help them?

Shaking his head as he leaned forward with his arms on the counter, his eyes were fixated on Cobra as he looked at him with amusement.

“Doubt and Kuryu are in cahoots. But you already know that, don't you? So if you actually go and help White Rascals with their little problem, then Kuryu will not be amused. Not. At. All. They hate your very guts, only using the ones they deem useful for their own gain, while everyone else can go up in flames, so they can build something better on your ashes and bones. So go ahead and help Rocky or continue to sit on your hands.” Kirinji shrugged, not really caring either way. After all if they knew just what kind of ghosts were buried on certain grounds, they wouldn't waste their time with these petty fights.

Kirinji could tell that Cobra actually listened to his warning and he wasn't the only one.

* * *

Eventually, it got so late in the night that everyone left.

Kirinji even helped Naomi clean up everything, if only it meant that he could finally be alone. However, it was then when Naomi was by the door and looked back to him, seeing him rummage through the food that was available to find something he could eat, that she realized that he actually did consider staying there the whole night.

And why wouldn't he? He was waiting for his ride home after all.

Finally looking up, he saw her staring back at him with a questioning expression for several long moments before she went back to his side.

“What are you doing?”

“Dinner.”

If one could even count the sorry excuse of a grilled cheese sandwich to be dinner.

Maybe he could treat himself to a glass or two of some of her alcohol? He had seen a bottle that looked appealing.

Watching him pour himself a glass of the whiskey, she finally realized that he really was going to stay the night.

Swallowing the first bite of the toast, Kirinji looked up at Naomi who still hadn't said a word and it took maybe a bit too long until he realized that she wanted to close the diner and go home.

“Go home. I'll stay up and make sure nothing happens to your diner.” He said while making a shooing motion with his hand.

That suggestion caused her to sigh and eventually sit down by the counter, apparently not trusting him being alone here.

“Do you mind?” He asked after a bit, holding up the pack of cigarettes. He saw her shake her head before he followed her gaze to the alcohol. Sighing, he handed her some cash that would hopefully cover whatever the whiskey was worth before he lit his cigarette. They were quiet after that, him eating and drinking in between smoking.

However, the silence wouldn't last.

“Were you serious about your warning from earlier, about Kuryu making their move should anyone get involved in the conflict between White Rascals and Doubt?”

“Very.” He told her with a sidelong glance. “You have no idea what kind of forces you'd get involved with if you guys really consider turning this into a war between you and Kuryu.”

“Why don't you tell the other what you know?”

Kirinji couldn't help but laugh at that, which sounded a bit more hollow than necessary to get the mood across.

“I'm not one of your dear friends. So even if I talk, there's no guaranty that anyone would listen, much less believe me.” He already knew how that went thanks to his former alliance, he didn't need a repeat so soon after.

“After all, I'm not here because I want to.”

Why he told her that was a bit beyond him in that moment. Maybe it was a combination of the alcohol and him never having learned to keep his mouth shut and maybe, just maybe even a little bit because he felt sorry for himself in his current situation, not that he would ever admit that out loud.

He had no idea of what caused this to turn into an actual conversation, but before he knew it Naomi had made herself something to eat and had joined him by the counter, telling him about her brother of all things. He didn't particularly care, still he listened.

The longer she talked, the more obvious it became how much this place meant not just to her but also to the rest of the members of Sannoh Rengokai, though especially to Kohaku.

“Say...” Kirinji began, no longer able to keep that burning question to himself.

“Mmm?”

“Has Kohaku always been like that... taking in people as if they were strays?”

The question caused Naomi to blink in confusion for several moments before she seemed to put two and two together and began to smile. “Is that what happened to you?”

Feeling caught yet again, he made a low sound in the back of his throat, though that seemed to be enough to confirm the truth to her. Laughing softly to herself because she was the first to figure out that mystery, since Kohaku had not wanted to spill the beans the last time he had been here, she grinned at him and poked his arm.

“You can't be all that bad if Kohaku took a liking to you.”

Now that made Kirinji glare back at her, though only doing so half-hearted.

“Don't say it like that. I've a reputation to keep.”

That made her laugh even more and maybe it was the alcohol speaking, but he couldn't help smile a bit in response.

Even if she did laugh, it didn't feel as if she was mocking him, which was honestly really refreshing, and of course he just had to blab that out, almost instantly killing the mood as she stared back at him in surprise at the confession.

“How was your former work?” Naomi asked as she poured him another glass, maybe in hopes to loosed his tongue a bit more.

“Are you trying to make me drunk?” Kirinji smiled a bit as he picked up the glass and brought it up to his lips. “You'll have to use more than just two glasses for that.”

He wasn't sure what it was about her, but unlike with Noboru, it didn't feel as if she was actively prying on his past, which he promptly told her, because why not. If he was going to embarrass himself in front of a stranger then the least he could do was doing it properly.

“I don't understand why anyone would be nice to me after everything that happened.”

He could tell that she was about to answer that, but instead continued talking. He really didn't need to hear what was on her mind in regards to that topic.

It was already weird enough as it was that the Amamiyas seemed to think about him as some sort of brother, well mostly Masaki, or that Kohaku and Tsukumo were on the best way there, too.

And if that wasn't bad enough, he actually told her about the time when they had taken him to their brother's grave and his reservations about going anywhere near it.

Seeing the questions in her eyes, he continued telling her about Amamiya Takeru's end. Not all the cruel details, but enough to not leave a single doubt that he perfectly knew what had gone down that time. He only stopped talking when he saw just how pale she had gotten and poured her a glass of the whiskey which she immediately downed in one go which left him impressed and maybe a little guilty. At least she didn't look anymore as if she was close to throwing up.

“Why didn't you go visit Amamiya Takeru's grave? I mean, the other two seem to want you to.”

“I can't help but feel guilty.” He told her, not even knowing what had ultimately loosened his tongue on the matter.

Seeing that questioning gaze again, he went on. “Even though I didn't have a hand in the death of their brother... it still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth since those two are so nice to someone who has connections to the people who were responsible for the whole mess. In a way... I'm scared.”

And god, did that confession leave him reeling.

He was scared, not of facing Takeru's grave, but of having to look at the other two when doing so. Scared that they would eventually realize just who they had chosen to let into their lives. He was scared that at some point they would come to their senses and throw him out and then he would've really lost everything with no one and no place to turn to.

He must've sounded more choked up than he realized because when he looked up the next time, he saw Naomi look at him with something close to sympathy.

It was the last thing he needed or wanted right now because it made him feel pathetic. He wasn't fishing for that emotion or anything really, all he wanted had been to eat something and maybe get just a little drunk that night. Now though, he had opened up about something he wasn't all that comfortable with admitting even to himself.

He really had a talent for making a fool of himself.

Before he could say anything else, maybe even ask her to forget everything he just told her, she took his arm and pulled him to his feet, much to his confusion. And of course because his mind was buzzing with enough alcohol to make him say stupid things, he just had to ask her where they were going, if she planned to take him home with her. The flat look she gave him as answer told him that no, she definitely didn't plan to do that which was honestly a relief. He didn't know if he would be able to handle that kind of pity right now.

It was a while until he realized where Naomi was taking him, but once he did, he felt the urge to run away bubble up in his chest.

“Why are you bringing me here?”

“If you're able to face my brother than you're able to face Amamiya Takeru.”

The sentiment was nice, but it wasn't really the same, was it?

Seeing him struggle of sorts, Naomi took his hand and led him closer until they stood right in front of Tatsuya's grave.

He wasn't sure what it was exactly, being confronted with Tatsuya's grave or Naomi still holding onto his hand as she actually introduced them, but at some point his vision had gone blurry with unshed tears. And wasn't that just the perfect end for such a weird day, being seen at such a low point by someone he would've never spared a second glance or thought only a couple of months ago?


	5. Chapter 5

They ended up staying at Tatsuya's grave the whole night, talking about all sorts of things.

Naomi told him more about her brother and Kohaku from when they were younger, about all the trouble those two had gotten into, but also how they had always looked out for her.

“What about Cobra and the others? Do they also look out for you?” Kirinji wasn't sure what had gotten into him to ask, but seeing the way Naomi smiled made him grin and then poke just a little more for answers.

“Are you dating one of them?”

The reaction that got confirmed his suspicion, however he didn't get a name.

“I wished he would get his act together more.”

He wondered to himself whether it was Cobra, even though some part of him doubt that to be the case.

In return, Kirinji told her, more like warned her once more, that if they should really decide to help White Rascals then they should be prepared for the full wrath of Kuryu, even going so far as to tell her that it might be safer for her and anyone not being involved in the fighting to leave town for some time. There really was no saying if they wouldn't decide to torch the whole place. The concern took Naomi by surprise.

“I don't want to have more blood on my hands.”

The confession left her speechless, promising to tell Cobra and the others about what he had told her. Even if they might not belief him, they could at least consider his words when they came from her.

It was close to dawn when they eventually made their way back to Itokan, still talking quietly. By now Kirinji was certain the alcohol had mostly left his system, at least it felt like that, so it was really him talking and not that.

As the night had went on, he had realized how pleasant Naomi was to be around, almost as nice as Kizzy had been or the Amamiyas were now. It was weird, really. At one point he actually had to bite his tongue so he wouldn't blab out how much those two meant to him, well Hiroto a little bit more than Masaki.

Those two walking side by side and looking so awfully close and content must've sent the absolute wrong message because the moment they got closer to Itokan, they were confronted not just by that angry guy from earlier, Dan, but also by a couple of other guys he had seen at the diner earlier.

“Where have you been?” They asked Naomi. “We've been worried.”

Apparently, one of them had gone back to Itokan because he had forgotten something and had noticed the empty plates on the counter next to the half-full bottle of alcohol.

“We hadn't planned to stay out for more than an hour.” Naomi explained as she briefly glanced over to Kirinji. “We didn't realize how much time had passed until now.”

That was apparently the wrong thing to say because suddenly the focus shifted from Naomi to Kirinji.

“What do you think you're doing here?” Dan demanded to know, sounding even more on edge than earlier.

It sounded a lot as if they were accusing him of something they really shouldn't imply.

Kirinji had to bite his tongue so he wouldn't start laughing at such a ridiculous notion. He really wasn't interested in Naomi that way. Sure she was kind of pleasant to be around with, but so were Kohaku and Tsukumo, yet he really didn't plan to do anything with either of them.

His amused smile must've really gone over the wrong way because suddenly Dan grabbed him by the front of his shirt and yelled at him. “You're not welcome here!”

“Yes, I already figured that without being screamed at first thing in the morning after not getting any sleep last night.”

Oh, that had really been the worst thing to say out loud, especially since he was still looking at Dan with amusement.

The next thing he knew was being knocked down to the ground, punched in the face once more. This time Dan had actually managed to split his lower lip, making him taste his own blood twice in less than a day. Glaring back at Dan with murderous intent, Kirinji was back on his feet the next moment about to lunge at him, while Naomi held him back as she tried to calm him down.

“What is going on here?” A familiar voice behind them asked. And wasn't it just his luck that Cobra wasn't alone?

Still breathing heavily, Kirinji turned to see that tall guy next to Cobra, both of them looking around the group in hopes to get an answer.

He could feel bile in the back of his throat as he tried to fight off the awful feeling of dread. He couldn't let them see him like that. They wouldn't understand, wouldn't know what caused it or how much energy it cost him to keep up the appearance of normality. He needed to get away from here, fast. Something about this place made his blood boil and he wasn't sure if he would actually be able to hold back any longer if he didn't leave immediately.

Turning to Naomi, Kirinji gave a her a small nod in thanks for the last night before he shoved past Cobra and the other one, not reacting to Naomi shouting after him and telling that he didn't have to go. But he wouldn't listen, he couldn't.

Before he even knew it, he was running as fast as his legs would carry him, heading towards the nearest bus stop. He just needed to get away from here.

He didn't even have a plan of where to go to at first, that was until he got a message from Masaki telling him that they were on their way to Itokan. That was the absolute perfect timing, he thought as he leaned with his head against the bus window, silently watching the early morning world go by.

There was one place he could go to just to get it over with while he was already feeling terrible.

* * *

By the time he made it to his destination, after having to switch buses three times, he actually regretted not making time to get some flowers. Then again, Tatsuya hadn't gotten any flowers from him either, though it had been in the middle of the night and now it was close to 10 o'clock in the morning.

Checking his phone again, he saw that he had two new messages, one from Masaki asking him why he wasn't answering and then one from Hiroto not too long ago asking him where he was because they were at Itokan but he wasn't there.

Part of him was actually curious to know how the mood was there right now, would they be angry that he left as suddenly as he had done without explanation as to why or where he had run off to. He also wondered how long it would take them to put two and two together and realize where he was.

Walking slowly closer to Takeru's grave, he realized that he had to fight with himself again to take one step after another. Why was this so hard? He was alone with no one around to witness how stupid he was acting.

Once there, he noticed that he had yet another message, again from Masaki asking him whether he was okay and that Hiroto had apparently hit someone. That made him blink in surprise and eventually smile.

He still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that those two cared about him.

Glancing from his phone to Takeru's grave, Kirinji sat down on the ground next to it with a heavy sigh, suddenly feeling so very tired.

“You have two really good brothers.” Kirinji told Takeru's grave, feeling a little foolish for talking to it. “You should be here with them.” He went on after another moment, sounding just as tired as he felt. But life wasn't fair, he supposed.

His former work had taken two good men away from their families because they were in the way and caused trouble. It was funny that he only now began to sort of care when he was actually confronted with the result of that work. He briefly wondered if it would be the same when Kuryu would finally focus their attention on Rude Boys and Smokey. But there was nothing he could do about that, he thought as he turned his gaze from the grave up to the blue sky.

He just wanted to sleep.

Looking around for a few moments, he eventually laid down when he saw that he really was alone there. He knew that it was in bad taste to do that, but he just wanted to rest for a minute or two. One arm behind his head to cushion it, he continued to look up at the sky before his eyes eventually drifted closed.

There really wasn't anything he could do to make any of the things he'd done right. After all, he was also just on the run from his past.

 _You could apologize_ , the nagging voice in the back of his mind offered, and Kirinji actually snorted at that thought. That really wouldn't be like him. Plus, he didn't feel overly sorry for what he had done in the past. He did what he had to do in order to survive.

He must've actually fallen asleep at some point, while wondering what Takeru would do to help those stupid kids, because the next time he was aware of his surroundings, he felt hands gently shaking his shoulders. Blinking his eyes open, he was greeted by the worried faces of Hiroto and Masaki.

Oh, he'd been found at last.

Sitting up, he was about to say something, maybe even apologize for not answering their messages, when Hiroto suddenly hugged him which honestly caught him so badly off guard that he didn't even know what to think, much less why his damn traitor heart was suddenly beating a mile a minute. Hiroto had never shown him that openly that much emotions. If anything, he would've bet that it would've been Masaki hugging him like that. Then again, hadn't Masaki said that Hiroto had hit someone? Now, he really wondered what had happened to cause that.

Being let go at last, Kirinji turned to Masaki who looked at him as if he really wanted to hug him, too, but refrained from doing so for some reason.

“Are you okay?” Masaki asked, while pointing at Kirinji's lip.

“Yes, I am.” He nodded. He still wanted to punch this Dan guy for hitting him twice though.

He saw Masaki still looking at him with that odd mixture of relief and sympathy before he eventually spoke up again. “We've been really worried when we couldn't find you at Itokan.”

Kirinji wanted to say something to that, actually try to explain what had caused him to run off like he did, when Masaki went on.

“Hiroto was really angry, y'know.”

“Huh?”

“Naomi told us what happened.”

He was a little startled that Naomi had stayed around long enough for them to arrive instead of going home.

“I had to hold Hiroto back because he wanted to punch Cobra... not that I could stop him from yelling at him.”

It made Kirinji blink slowly, feeling as if he wasn't hearing correctly.

“I thought he was done and let go, only for him to go and punch some guy called Dan.”

Hearing that, Kirinji couldn't help but turn back to Hiroto and stare at him with something close to awe.

“Why did you do that?” He asked, barely able to keep the amusement out of his voice or the smile from spreading over his face.

“Because he hit you.” Was the quiet answer.

“Twice.” Masaki added as he looked from his brother to Kirinji who was now openly smiling at Hiroto.

He couldn't believe it, never had anyone done something like that for him.

They stayed for a little bit longer by Takeru's grave after that, though eventually Masaki spoke up again.

“Why did you come here?” Especially since he had been so reluctant the last time, was left unsaid.

He knew he had to explain his thoughts on that matter to them at some point, but had thought, hoped, that it wouldn't be so soon.

It was probably the lack of sleep making him talk, but eventually he blurted out that he was scared of them coming to their senses when it came to who he was and then make him leave.

He could tell by the looks on their faces that they didn't understand at first. So he went on with a much quieter voice, telling them that he had heard through certain connections what had happened to their brother.

Seeing their eyes go wide at that piece of information, made the familiar feeling of dread bubble up in his chest, wondering if he had actually done it now, sealing his own fate by again not being able to keep his mouth shut.

Watching them share a long look he couldn't quite read, did absolutely nothing to ease his worries, quite the opposite actually. Feeling his breath quicken, he dug his fingernails into the palms of his hands as he desperately fought with himself so he wouldn't give in to the nausea.

Surely they wouldn't do anything close to their brother's grave, right? Which was bad since he did want to get up, get some space between himself and them. The only problem was that when he tried to get up, he was overcome by a bad spell of dizziness and almost immediately tumbled back down to the ground.

Not good, it hammered through his head as he brought his hand up to cover his mouth, while his eyes were screwed shut. This was so not good.

He didn't even hear either of them call out to him, though the feeling of hands on his shoulders and arms made him jump slightly, trying and failing to shake them off.

By now he was trembling with the effort to not lose it any more than he already did. He just wanted to go home, but he was pretty certain that he didn't have a home anymore. When had he even started to view their home as his?

He wasn't sure what had ultimately knocked him out, the last thing he remembered was the sound of blood rushing in his ears, turning everything else to white noise. And then nothing, just blissful darkness and silence.

* * *

He came by to the feeling of fingers gently brushing through his hair and a cool breeze dancing over his skin. Both felt so nice and calming, almost making him wonder if he was dreaming. He didn't even want to open his eyes, prefering to stay in this pleasant dream-like state for a little bit longer. It was only when he heard quiet footsteps on grass come closer that he realized that this wasn't really a dream.

He could hear Masaki asking whether he was still out cold, with Hiroto making a low humming sound in response. Oh. So Hiroto was the one... doing what? Comforting him?

He had wanted to pretend to be asleep for just a little bit longer when he suddenly felt something cold pressed to his forehead, startling him badly and making him yelp in surprise as he sat up at once and he turned to stare at the other two who looked at him with a mixture of surprise and relief.

“You're finally awake again.” Hiroto murmured, more to himself than the other two as he held out a soda can towards Kirinji.

Eyes darting from Hiroto's face to the offered drink, Kirinji eventually took it with a quiet thank you and immediately realized that this was the cold thing that had been pressed to his forehead.

Eventually, Masaki sat down next to Hiroto and handed him another soda can while keeping one for himself.

He could see the questions in their eyes and it didn't take long before both started talking again, at the same time no less, mingling both questions together.

“Are you okay?” That was Hiroto.

“What happened?” That was Masaki, sounding equally concerned.

Kirinji wasn't sure who was startled more by that, he himself or the other two as they looked at each other as if they were close to arguing again. For some odd reason, the sight made Kirinji laugh softly, much to the surprise of the Amamiyas who stared at him in utter surprise at actually seeing him laugh, which was a first.

Catching himself after another moment or two, Kirinji kept his gaze down on the soda can in his hands as he eventually answered them.

“Yes, I'm fine.” And then after taking a deep breath. “That was a panic attack.”

Eventually glancing up when he didn't get an answer, he saw them stare at him with both worry and confusion. So before they could ask, he went on explaining.

“It was just a little bit difficult to think rationally.” Which was honestly a big understatement.

“Do you have them a lot?” Hiroto wondered, keeping his voice quieter than usual, almost as if he was afraid he might spook him.

“It depends on the situation.” That was as truthfully as he could answer that.

Apparently, that was not the best thing to say because now Masaki was gaping at him even more before he was eventually snapped out of it by Hiroto who nudged him in the side.

“Then tell us how to calm you down should it happen again in the future.” Masaki told him as he bit his lower lip. “That earlier was scary.”

Now it was Kirinji's turn to stare at them in surprise and confusion. They wanted to know in case it would happen again in the future? Did that mean he was allowed to stay with them?

“You should drink up, so we can go home.” Masaki told him after he must've been quite obvious with his thoughts on display.

Kirinji blinked in surprise at that before he eventually nodded, overcome with a odd combination of confusion and relief.

He was a few sips into his drink when Masaki leaned closer. “Can I have a taste of your drink?”

The suggestion alone was enough for Kirinji to look at Masaki with an indignant expression.

“You can have a few sips of mine.” Masaki offered when he saw Kirinji's expression.

“No, absolutely not.” Kirinji shook his head. This was disgusting.

“But we always share our food.” Masaki went as he looked over to his brother for confirmation who nodded in agreement, acting as if that explanation was enough to change his mind. It wasn't. If anything it made Kirinji back away from them a little before he got up on his feet. Masaki soon followed suit and then had the audacity to use his puppy dog eyes and begging pout in hopes to get his wish granted. But not this time. He had to put his foot down on the matter, which ended up with him running away from Masaki as he yelled at him to leave him alone, while he chased after him, all while still begging him to share drinks.

In the end, Kirinji gave Masaki his half-full soda can and then crossing his arms when offered the other drink in exchange. It left Masaki pouting and complaining that he didn't want two drinks.

“You can have the rest of mine.” Hiroto offered, having followed this all with amusement.

For a moment or two Kirinji actually considered taking it as he eyed the soda can with interest. His overactive mind even urged him on to agree, but then he saw Masaki watching them and he refrained. He would only end up looking like a hypocrite if he agreed to one while dismissing the other, even though it wasn't thirst that made him consider the offer, at least not thirst for something to drink. Oh, he really shouldn't let those thoughts take a hold of him. He was lucky enough to still have a home and those two to care for him and his well-being, he shouldn't put that in jeopardy over some dumb feelings he wasn't even certain if they were mutual. In a way he doubted it. Sure Hiroto had kissed his cheek, but did that really mean anything considering how close and hands-on the Amamiyas were with each other.

He was so lost in thought that he didn't realize how close Masaki had come towards him and only noticed when he had thrown one arm around his shoulder while lightly leaning with his head against his. The action caused Kirinji to tense up for a moment until he realized what Masaki was doing.

“I'm glad you're feeling better.” Masaki told him.

Now that made Kirinji smile a bit and relax again. He really was so lucky, he couldn't believe just how much. What had he done to deserve this?

Hiroto watched them for several long moments before he closed the gap between them and took Masaki's arm off of Kirinji's shoulder and instead pulled the startled man closer towards himself and then before he could ask what was going on, threw him over his shoulder as he picked him up that way.

“What are you doing?” Kirinji demanded to know as he flailed with his arms, sounding so very undignified the whole time.

“We're going home now.” Hiroto told him, them, and then proceeded to carry Kirinji back to their bikes.

Kirinji had wanted to tell him to let him down, but refrained from doing so in the end, actually liking how possessive Hiroto sounded. It was thrilling and made him think, just for a moment, that maybe, just maybe this could lead somewhere. Gods, he was a fool, such a fool for falling for this man. Somewhere the gods must be laughing at him for twisting his fate into this grotesque mockery that used to be his life.


	6. Chapter 6

Once back home, Hiroto sat Kirinji down on his bed much to his confusion and maybe even a little bit of excitement.

“Sleep.” He prompted him with a nod and then turned to block Masaki from entering his bedroom, pushing him out of the room as he closed the door behind them.

That was definitely weird, Kirinji thought, though made no attempt to get up from the bed he laid on. It was the first time he was in Hiroto's bedroom and part of him had hoped that should he ever make it this far that he wouldn't be alone in here.

He could hear the other two arguing through the closed door and had to smile. They were really a weird family, but a caring one.

Taking off his jacket and letting it rest on the foot of the bed, he let out a content sigh as he fell back against the pillows. They smelled faintly like Hiroto and the realisation made him blush a bit.

Gods, he was acting like some stupid teenager. Would that even work out? Even though Hiroto knew who he was now, there were still things in his past he couldn't undo.

Sighing softly, he hugged one of the pillows close to his chest and he closed his eyes as he curled around it, while his mind was haunted by Iemura telling him that failure wouldn't be tolerated.

When he opened his eyes the next time, he realized that he must've fallen asleep at some point. It took him a moment or two for his eyes to adjust to the now dark room, but once they did, Kirinji's breath caught in his throat when he saw that he was no longer alone. Hiroto laid on the other side of the bed, appearing to be asleep. The sight caught Kirinji badly off guard, so much so that while still clutching the pillow to himself, he backed away from the other man until he all but fell out of the bed on the other side.

“Careful.” It was the only warning he got (quietly whispered against his ear no less) before he was pulled back onto the bed by an arm around his waist.

In that moment, Kirinji was quite grateful for how dark the room was, so that Hiroto wouldn't see how red his face had grown.

This was so stupid, so utterly stupid. He was a grown ass adult and not some stupid, horny teenager reduced to a blushing mess just because the guy he had a crush on was hugging him.

“What are you doing here?” Kirinji asked, which caused Hiroto to smile.

“This is my bed.” Hiroto sounded oddly amused.

In that moment, Kirinji would've given everything to see Hiroto's face more clearly, badly wanting to see his smile in all its glory.

They stayed quiet after that until Hiroto spoke up again. “Do you prefer to sleep alone?”

Under other circumstances, Kirinji would've answered that with a yes, but right now, while Hiroto was still holding him close with only the pillow between them, he couldn't bring his mouth to cooperate. So instead he shook his head, no, he preferred this, wanted this to last for as long as possible.

 _And maybe go a little further_ , his overactive mind supplied, a thought he tried his best to suppress as best as he could.

This was both heaven and hell at the same time.

“Do you prefer to sleep in Masaki's bed?”

Something Kirinji quickly shot down with another shake of his head.

“Masaki only used me as some sort of body pillow.” _Against his will_ was left unsaid, feeling a little foolish for saying it like that. Maybe he imagined it, but was Hiroto hugging him closer since admitting that?

Eyes drifting closed again eventually, Kirinji began to wonder whether this was all just a dream. It had to be. There was no way Hiroto would still hold him close like that if this was real. Maybe there was still a positive aspect to his otherwise overactive mind that usually did nothing but torment him until he hit his breaking point.

And since this was likely just a nice dream, Kirinji actually did something more bold, something he wouldn't have dared under other circumstances. Still clutching the pillow with one arm, he slowly reached out with his free hand until he found Hiroto's shirt and held onto it.

It was silly in a way, he had to admit this much to himself. He usually wasn't the type for anything gentle, especially if he was the one initiating it.

This was nice until he felt Hiroto shift his hold on him which made his heart sink. So much for this being a nice dream. But then he felt Hiroto take his hand that held onto his shirt and pulled it away.

Of course this would happen, not even in his dreams he could have something nice. Now he actually wanted to wake up.

Imagine his surprise when Hiroto then ever so slow and gently, intertwined their fingers with each other. Oh.

Slowly opening his eyes, he looked over the edge of the pillow and saw Hiroto pull their hands up to his mouth and brushed his lips over the back of Kirinji's hand while looking at him, an action that made him blush madly and his heart to skip a beat.

Okay, he had to admit that this dream was definitely better than the last one.

He wanted so badly to ask if this was real, but the words wouldn't come out, no matter how many tries he gave it.

In the end, he closed his eyes again and leaned his head forward until it rested against Hiroto's shoulder.

How far had he strayed from his usual path for this to be enough, to make him feel content and happy? Maybe he imagined it, but he could swear he felt lips being pressed to his hair.

* * *

The next morning, he woke up alone in bed, laying mostly on his front with half of his face buried in the pillows. Oh.

There was no obvious trace that last night had been real. The pillows still faintly smelled like Hiroto, but this was his bed, so of course this was to be expected.

Reaching for the abandoned pillow that laid a little away from him, he pulled it closer until he was hugging it just as tight as he had done last night, maybe even a little bit more. Turning on his back then, he stared up at the ceiling while feeling so utterly sorry for himself. He really was pathetic, clinging to hopeless dreams, even though he knew that if he wanted them to become reality then he would've to do something about it.

Getting out of bed eventually, he had just stepped out of the bedroom that he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Kohaku and Tsukumo in the living room, discussing something with Hiroto and Masaki. The atmosphere was so serious, it was almost suffocating him.

“What's going on?” He asked as he stepped closer towards the group.

It didn't take all that long for Kohaku and Tsukumo to fill him in on what Saigo had told them the other night, not even leaving it out the little detail of the attack on their lives. Kohaku wasn't sure what surprised him more that Kirinji took it all in rather calmly or when he eventually admitted that he already knew about most of these things.

When asked by Masaki and Hiroto how he knew, it was harder than expected to tell them that he had his ways to get information he wasn't supposed to have. He hadn't worked so long for Iemura without knowing the ins and outs, not that it had furthered his career much. Though admitting that he bribed some while threatening others for information wasn't something he thought he'd ever feel guilty about. At least Masaki wasn't pressing the matter, Kirinji was relieved to find, though did notice the dark look in Hiroto's eyes on the other hand.

“Kuryu likely blowing up all of Nameless Street isn't even your only problem.” Kirinji told them.

“What do you mean?”

“White Rascals and Doubt... they're about to clash in the worst way possible.” He went on, briefly glancing over to Kohaku. “Cobra is thinking about getting involved in it... He's playing with fire, Kohaku. Kuryu would rather blow everything up then letting anyone meddle with their interests.”

He could tell that Kohaku was actually listening to his warning.

“Rude Boys might actually evacuate most of its people before it's be too late. The real problem is SWORD turning this into a full-blown war, with nobody being safe and the more known members being fair game to make an example of them.”

Tsukumo and Masaki were about to question why he hadn't said anything sooner when Kohaku got a call from Naomi, telling him about the attack on the Sannoh region the other night and that it looked like that all the other regions were also affected.

Kirinji had to bite his tongue so he wouldn't tell them that he'd told them so, even though it was tempting.

This whole thing was a powder keg just waiting for someone with an itchy finger to blow it all up.

“The most important thing is to get as much evidence as possible out of the Rude Boys regiion before it goes all up in flames, while also stopping Cobra and the others from going after any members of Kuryu.” That could only end in tragedy.

“Why are you caring all of a sudden?” Tsukumo just couldn't help himself questioning him, which was answered with a sour look.

He didn't care. He absolutely did not care one bit what would happen to SWORD. And why would he? He had spent the last couple of years of his life to bring these kids down to their knees.

So why did it feel as if some part of him was caring about what would happen?

If he was honest, he knew the answer to that. It was due to that stupid idealistic talk from the Daruma Ikka guys, telling him to find something to believe in and then fight for it.

It was so stupid. He had done perfectly fine for so long without any of that. Perfectly fine, completely fine...

A hand on his lower back snapped him out of his thoughts, only now making him realize that his breathing had quickened to the point of making him slightly dizzy without noticing. Blinking once, twice, Kirinji looked between Masaki and Hiroto who both looked at him with concern. Oh.

“You okay?” Masaki asked him quietly, which he answered with a nod, while Hiroto moved his hand from his lower back up to rest on his shoulder.

He was glad that neither Kohaku nor Tsukumo commented on any of that and instead kept the focus on the more important issue at hand.

In the end, Masaki and Hiroto decided to go looking for that missing doctor, while Kohaku and Tsukumo would go looking for Cobra to stop him from doing anything reckless. Meanwhile, Kirinji told them that he would stay where he was, which was inside the apartment, out of harm's way. Kohaku and Tsukumo seemed to be okay with that and were off the next moment, while Masaki and Hiroto told him, again, to stay inside.

While he had been lucky not to have anyone from Kuryu breathing down his neck the last two months, there was no saying if that would stay the case as things were right now.

Kirinji assured them once more that he really had no intentions to leave, so they should go already, take care of more important things, which didn't go over so well because both men were suddenly looking at him with an odd expression that almost looked as if they wanted to tell him that he was important to them.

The realisation caught Kirinji off guard, though before he could try and sort through any of the feelings he was overcome then, he all but shoved them out of the apartment as he told them to be careful. He wasn't sure what shocked him more, Masaki smiling while thanking him for his concern or Hiroto lightly petting his hair as he told him that they would be back in no time.

And then they were gone, off to play hero and save the day, leaving Kirinji behind with a racing heart and his thoughts. And wasn't that a terrible thing to do?

* * *

He really cared for them, he realized with something like horror. When had that happened? When had he began to care for anyone other than himself?

Leaning heavily with his back against the front door, he slowly slipped down until he was sitting on the floor.

This was bad, really bad, he thought and brought one hand up to his lips and bit the knuckles in hopes to let the pain ground him.

He had done so well only looking out for none other than himself. So how? How had those two of all people managed to worm their way into his heart?

 _Because they are genuinely kind to you_ , the annoying voice in the back of his mind whispered.

Even after he had told them the truth about him, they hadn't kicked him out. He didn't understand it, because by all means, they should hate him. Besides, he had nothing to offer them, nothing but a terrible past and a lot of mental issues.

He didn't know how long he'd sat on the floor, only slowly realizing the cold soaking through his clothes and making him shiver. Eventually, he got up and went over to sit down on one of the armchairs instead and turned on the TV. He was mindlessly zapping through TV channels to try and take his mind off of things when he caught sight of the last thing he needed in that moment: a bunch of reporters hyping up a new development in the casino project.

With his interest piqued now, he leaned forward in the armchair as he listened intently to what was going on.

Were... they really planning to blow up Nameless Street on live TV?

He had his phone out and was about to dial when he caught himself, realizing that his body had moved as if on autopilot.

Oh, this was bad.

Still, he couldn't let them run into this blind. They would only get themselves killed and that, _that_ would be really bad. And so he called them, tried both Hiroto's and Masaki's phones, but of course neither answered, not even Kohaku or Tsukumo did.

Feeling his blood pressure rise by the mere thought of actually having to go out there himself and try to reach them in time to warn them, it made his blood boil. They were worse than anyone he'd ever worked with.

In that moment, he actually regretted never having asked Naomi for her phone number, ignoring how bad that would've looked back then. He would've survived her teasing, just like he had survived Kizzy's teasing all those years ago. What was another woman poking fun at him while giggling to herself?

But now, it would be really great to have her number because she had probably more time on her hands to try and reach one of them.

Leaving a message on both Hiroto's and Kohaku's phones, he was out of the door the next moment, not even thinking about picking up his jacket.

One of them would hopefully check their phone and listen to his warning about how dangerous Nameless Street was right now.

He was such a fool for not leaving this to them but actually going out of his way to... To do what exactly? Warn them? Help them? Protect them? Oh, that last thought almost made him stumble down the stairs. Catching himself the last moment, he cursed under his breath, not believing that he was actually running for their sakes.

This was so stupid. What had they reduced him to? _A caring person_ , the little voice in the back of his mind snickered. Disgusting.


	7. Chapter 7

He wasn't sure what had possessed him to “borrow” some guy's bicycle instead of trying to find a taxi that would actually drive him somewhere close to Nameless Street. Of course he knew the reason. Anyone with half a brain and the ability to actually use it would stay as far away as possible from that place at the moment, unless they were ordered to or were part of SWORD.

He couldn't believe just how stupid this all was and he had to actively stop himself from thinking about what he was doing right now as he pushed himself to drive just a little bit faster, fearing the pedals might actually break off from the speed.

He could tell that he was getting closer because he saw less and less regular people and instead caught sight of several trucks, but also some really expensive looking cars, meaning that some of the higher-ups were here.

Eventually, his bike came to a screeching halt and he had just enough time to duck behind a building and out of view when he caught sight of the last person he expected to see. Nikaido.

He really was out here leading a small group of men. He wished he could get closer to find out what they were doing exactly. It looked as if they were looking for something or someone. But who? There was nobody of value around anymore. The only people getting picked up by Kuryu couldn't be of any interest to Nikaido.

He really shouldn't linger around and so he did his best to stay in the shadows of the old abandoned buildings as he made his way through the rubble, trying to see whether any of the others would be stupid enough to be here despite the obvious danger. They had to be, right? They'd run off long before him, so they had to be somewhere.

And then he saw a lone figure standing amid the deserted ruins.

But of course.

The only person Nikaido would go out of his way to end himself. Smokey.

Why was he still here when it looked like the rest of Rude Boys had all left? It made no sense.

Slowly walking out of the shadows as if in trance, Kirinji tried to get a better look at Smokey, never having seen the other man up close. From the stories he'd heard about him, he had thought him to be taller, stronger, more. But this... he looked almost fragile in the dim light. He looked ill. Oh. Of course. That was the reason Nikaido was here. He wanted to get rid of the evidence of their past sins.

Another moment passed before Smokey turned upon hearing someone behind him. Kirinji could tell from the expression flickering over his face, that Smokey seemed to have expected someone else or at least not another lone man. It took Kirinji another moment before he remembered that they really shouldn't stand here and just look at each other. So without thinking, he ran up to Smokey and grabbed him by the elbow to drag him out of view and over to the shadows. He wasn't sure what reaction he had expected from Smokey, but it certainly hadn't been him struggling against his grip on him.

“There are people on their way here to kill you.” Kirinji told him with more anger in his voice than he meant to. But Smokey had to forgive him because his patience was running thin and this was really not the time for big arguments.

“You should leave while there's still time.” Smokey's voice was so oddly gentle despite the situation. Or was it always like this?

Kirinji wasn't sure what it was that made him see red. Maybe it was the way Smokey looked at him in that moment, that odd mixture of compassion and regret. Maybe it was because it felt as if Smokey tried save him by telling him to leave without him. Or maybe it was because this was one of the SWORD leaders, looking so very ill and nothing like he was supposed to, while still being so utterly stupid.

“If you want to die that much, I'll kill you!” Kirinji hissed at Smokey as he glared up at him with so much repressed anger that he was surprised he hadn't popped a blood vessel yet.

Yes, if Kirinji had to choose a reason, he'd probably pick the small smile Smokey gave him then.

Still holding onto Smokey's elbow, Kirinji kicked him with his knee in the stomach with maybe a little too much force, while at the same time hit him in the back of his neck with his elbow when he toppled over, sending him to the ground, out cold.

 _Bastard._ He didn't need anyone's pity, especially not by someone who was closer to death than life.

* * *

Kirinji bent down and picked up Smokey, throwing him unceremoniously over one shoulder, again taking note of just how ill the other man seemed to be. He was so light, it was almost sickening. He should be heavier, harder to handle, but this was too easy.

He was about to walk away, over to the shadows and then try to see whether he could still use the same path he had used to come here without being noticed. But because he could never have that much luck, he was spotted not even a moment later by none other than Nikaido.

There was a brief moment when Kirinji could've sworn he saw the tiniest flicker of surprise on Nikaido's face upon seeing him.

A small part of him actually toyed with the idea of handing Smokey over and beg for his life, maybe even ask to get his job back. But that opportunity flew just as fast out of the window as it had landed in his hands in form of Smokey appearing in front of him, looking like a bittersweet and beautiful vision of sorrow and death.

Nikaido must've been able to read his thoughts because he didn't waste much time asking why and where he had been hiding all this time or even where his loyalty laid. No. He really didn't need to ask any of that, not when it looked as if one of his subordinates had gone rogue in the worst way possible.

Kirinji knew he could try to make a run for it. He was fast on his legs. But there was no way he could manage to escape with Smokey on his back. He might not be heavy, but he was certainly a hindrance in any escape plan.

So he decided to do something even more stupid. And really, what was another stupid decision on top of all the other ones that led him here?

He really was getting soft, he thought as he glanced around briefly before backing away from Nikaido and the small group of men behind him. He wasn't going to run, no. He just needed to buy Smokey enough time for someone to come and rescue him. He really hoped Hiroto or Kohaku had checked their messages and were on their way here.

Having almost backed himself into a corner, Kirinji sat Smokey's unconscious body down on the ground behind him and then picked up a metal pipe before getting back to his feet.

He hadn't properly fought anyone in such a long time, so he could only hope that he hadn't gone too rusty in the meantime.

He must've painted a nice picture because Nikaido was actually laughing at the sight of him trying to protect a half-dead SWORD leader with nothing else than a metal pipe in his hands and enough repressed anger to keep him warm despite the low temperatures and his rolled up sleeves. No, he really didn't feel the cold. All he felt was burning rage at being mocked again by the one person he once would've given everything for if only he had looked at him and only him.

Taking out the first two men hadn't been too hard and he could tell by the anger on Nikaido's face that he was seemingly doing better than expected.

In a way it felt actually good to show Nikaido what he was missing out on. Oh, he really shouldn't go down that path, wondering how enraged Nikaido would possibly be if he knew just who he was currently living with. But if he was honest, it was kind of exciting to imagine Nikaido's reaction. Would he actually scream?

A kick to his side brought him out of his musings and sent him stumbling back a few feet.

He shouldn't let himself get provoked. He only needed to keep himself between Smokey and Kuryu, which was honestly such a ridiculous notion. He really was protecting this stupid kid at the cost of his own life. Oh, how that realisation angered him. So it was quite a good thing that he could let go of some of that pent-up frustration by hitting another attacker in the head with the pipe before kicking him away.

Three people down and he remembered why he used to let Masato handle these kind of things, preferring to stay out of any close range fights if he could help it. It got exhausting too quickly.

It was one thing going one on one with someone, but something completely different when it was two against one. He wasn't sure what hurt more, the hit to his right knee or the punch to his lower back after.

He was certain he felt something snap when his knee was hit as it gave out from under him, while the punch to his lower back that followed almost knocked the wind completely out of him, making it hard to breathe for several moments. Gasping for breath, he saw them try to use their chance to attack again while he was struggling back to his feet. Swinging wildly with the pipe to keep the others away, he made it eventually back to his feet, though noticed all too soon that he couldn't put any weight on his right foot as made pain shot through his entire leg. This was definitely bad.

Gritting his teeth as he gripped the metal pipe just a little bit tighter, he went against the guy that had injured his knee, wanting to make him pay.

It was a quick struggle, but once he had managed to land a hit on the other man's throat and hearing something break, he couldn't help but wince when he heard the gargling sounds the other man made as he coughed up blood. It was a sickening sound, that sounded all the louder in the otherwise quiet area where the only other noise was his own harsh breathing.

The force of the punch to the side of his head blindsided him and made him stumble several feet until he couldn't keep his balance any longer and toppled over to the ground. Losing his grip on the pipe didn't do him any favors either. So all he could do what use his good left leg and kick the other in the chin with everything he had left in him.

He was maybe a split second too late because the other man did get in a good shot at his left arm, hitting him right on the elbow. And god, did that hurt. Pain shot through his arm right up to his neck, causing his vision to go white for a moment as he yelled out in pain. That had really broken something, it shot through his mind as he curled up on instinct.

Glancing up through his bangs hanging in this eyes after several moments, he saw one more goon left, plus Nikaido who still stood back and watched from afar with anger written all over his face.

Huh, seemingly he couldn't believe that this was taking longer than he had thought it would. And of course Smokey was still out cold.

He could really use some help right now, not that he would ever ask someone from SWORD for help though. Even if most of his pride had been shattered over the last two months, he still had some left.

Reaching for the pipe with his right hand, he did his best to suppress the tremors in arm as he gripped the metal as hard as he could. Using the pipe as support to get slowly back to his feet then, he cradled his left arm against his chest.

Breathing even harsher now as he glared at the other two men, he slowly came to realize that he might not make it out of this alive.

He did his best to stand upright, while putting most of his weight on his left leg.

He was barely aware of Nikaido telling the last man to finally bring this to an end. He could tell the other could feel the threat that was Nikaido's mere presence on top of his warning words to end this, him.

When had he stopped being afraid of ending up under Nikaido's boot, of having his throat crushed by him? He wasn't sure, but in a way it was kind of freeing to be rid of that shadow looming over him. Now if only he could get rid of the real thing without dying in the process.

He should've known that it wouldn't be that easy to fight the last goon, especially since he could barely keep himself upright while swinging the pipe at him.

An especially hard hit to his rips sent him crashing to the ground with a pained groan, almost landing on top of Smokey's unconscious body.

He just needed to hold on for a little bit longer. At some point someone _had_ to come. If not for him then for Smokey. He really doubted his friends would be away for too long. Why had they even left him back here alone in the first place?

Trying to struggle back to his feet, he noticed too late the metal pipe swinging at his head. White hot pain exploded behind his eyes as he was hit on the left side of his head.

He was vaguely aware of being yanked up to his feet while being sneered at, completely dazed and not fully there.

Blood was running down the side of his face and into his left eye, making his vision go even more blurry than it already was.

The next moment he was unceremoniously thrown back to the ground right in front of Nikaido's feet where he remained laying while gasping for breath and groaning in pain.

It really was no relief at all that Nikaido didn't use his boots to degrade him even more, and instead went for the sword he carried with him. Too bad the pain in his head didn't manage to numb him to the sensation of Nikaido trying to carve the meat out of his left arm and making it bleed badly on top of it likely being broken.

It also didn't seem as if his pained screams were of any satisfaction for Nikaido as he was ordered to get back up.

Nikaido had to be kidding him, Kirinji thought as he glared up at him. He also couldn't believe that there was still some fight left in him.

And yet, when he felt the blade pressed against the side of his face, threatening to continue there, he did struggle at least back to his knees, even though it was quite painful with his right leg protesting at having to endure any amount of weight being put on it.

The blade left his cheek and was instead placed under his chin, lifting his head up that way so that Nikaido could have a good look at him, seemingly gloating in this moment.

He hadn't expected Nikaido to ask him for any last words. So when he heard him, he couldn't help laughing a little which was probably not the best decision given his current situation.

“I quit.” He told Nikaido with a small smile, actually feeling something like satisfaction when he saw the enraged expression on his now former boss' face.

The last thing he was aware of was Nikaido lifting his sword and then... nothing.

The next time he came by, he laid on his mostly uninjured right side with someone kneeling besides him and calling out to him, telling him to wake up. Who?

Slowly blinking against the blood in his left eye and his pain clouded and confused mind, he finally realized that it was Kohaku. Oh.

Had he finally checked his phone and come here?

Trying to move his head to see what had happened to Nikaido and the other guy, he saw the rest of Rude Boys hovering around Smokey, while a bit further away he could make out Cobra standing over someone that looked suspiciously like Nikaido. Huh?

Before he could ask what had happened though, he slipped back into blissful unconsciousness.


	8. Chapter 8

When he opened his eyes again, slowly blinking against the warm golden light in the room, he was neither sure where he was at first nor how much time had passed. His body felt oddly numb, but given the beating he had endured this was actually preferable.

Blinking a few more times to clear his vision, he turned his head slowly to the right and saw Hiroto and Masaki sitting by his bedside, both seemingly asleep and yet looking exhausted from whatever had happened while he was out cold. Just how much time had passed?

Slowly looking around the room, he finally realized that he was in hospital.

Gaze wandering over to the window, he saw that the sun stood low, indicating that it was close to dusk. So had it been only a couple of hours since they've last seen each other?

Eventually, his eyes drifted down to his left arm, finding it heavily bandaged and he had to close his eyes against the memories of Nikaido standing over him and cutting his arm open.

He had really liked that shirt, but it was likely ruined beyond salvation now.

Sighing softly, it didn't take long before blissful darkness reclaimed him once more.

He wasn't sure what had caused him to relive that dream, but after everything that had happened it was actually really nice to dream of those gentle hands once more.

Making a low sound in the back of his throat when the fingers left his hair and instead slowly trailed down his right cheek, he couldn't help himself but lean his head into the pleasant touch.

From the small fleeting touches Hiroto had graced him with, when he was actually awake and coherent, he'd recognize those very hands everywhere.

He'd never pictured himself for someone who craved comfort, but after everything that had happened, and given how close he had gotten to death's door, he deserved it, as silly as it sounded.

This time, however, the fingers didn't disappear when he eventually blinked his eyes open and was greeted by Hiroto's startled face. He had looked at him like that before, Kirinji thought, the first time he had been blessed with that dream. That had been a dream, right?

Eyes slowly drifting from Hiroto's face down his arm and the hand still resting against his cheek, Kirinji had to fight himself to stay awake.

“How are you feeling?” Hiroto asked him quietly.

Gods, he sounded so concerned, it stirred something warm deep in his chest. Not anger, no. It was something close to the blissful warmth that he recognized as happiness, an emotion he'd thought he had all but forgotten how it felt, _really_ felt.

“Tired.” Kirinji eventually whispered back, hating how weak he sounded to his own ears.

It must've sounded even worse to Hiroto because Kirinji could see the expression on his face soften into something else. Was that guilt? Why would he feel that? It made no sense to his still confused mind.

Blinking slowly, Kirinji eventually managed to make his body cooperate enough for him to reach up with his uninjured right hand and lay it over Hiroto's that still rested against his cheek.

“Please don't leave...” He murmured, already feeling sleep try to pull him back into its waiting arms.

“I'll stay.” Hiroto promised.

It was all the assurance Kirinji needed in that moment, a promise that he wasn't alone.

Turning his face a little bit more into Hiroto's palm, he wasn't sure what had possessed him to actually press a soft kiss over the warm skin, while murmuring a quiet thank you. But in that moment he didn't care for reasons. He was alive and had someone by his side who cared for him. Maybe once in a while he should let his heart decide, as silly as it sounded. Was he even able to do that?

His eyes had drifted closed once more, asleep before he could mull that thought over some more, not even seeing Hiroto looking down at him with wide eyes. He also didn't notice Masaki coming back inside the room and finding his brother looking completely flustered while he held onto Kirinji's right hand with both of his.

* * *

Kohaku sat by his bedside the next time he woke up, reading some magazine.

It took Kohaku a while, but eventually he looked up and saw Kirinji watching him. Placing the magazine aside, Kohaku turned his attention towards Kirinji.

“How are you feeling?”

“Okay.” Kirinji shrugged with his right shoulder. He did feel a bit better.

Apparently that was enough for Kohaku who soon saw him look around the room and not being all too subtle about checking whether it was just them.

“I've sent them home.” Kohaku explained. Apparently neither Amamiya had wanted to leave, so Kohaku had taken in up on himself to make them go home and get some real sleep.

Kirinji wasn't able to hide his surprise at that, not even when Kohaku went on and told him that they had wanted to stay after he had asked Hiroto to.

Oh yes, he remembered now, he admitted with a small smile tugging on the corner of his lips. He couldn't believe that they had really intended to stay by his side, and that all it took was him asking.

Seeing Kohaku grin now after having caught sight of that small smile, he almost regretted showing him that much emotion, _almost._

After a few moments, Kirinji couldn't hide his curiousity any longer.

“What happened? Did you get my message about the plans to blow up Nameless Street?”

The question made Kohaku smile for some reason.

“Yes.” He had received his message, having checked in on Cobra when he did. Apparently, that was the reason why he had been there, too, seemingly having listened to Naomi's warning, at least, not to try and go after Kuryu.

“That's good.” Kirinji agreed with a relieved sigh, having not intended to say that out loud.

Apparently, whatever pain meds he was on, they did loosen his tongue quite a bit.

“Is Smokey okay?”

The question made Kohaku smile more, though now Kirinji felt nothing but irritation creep up on him when he saw the older man's reaction.

“You've done well, protecting him like that.” Kohaku all but praised him, which was rewarded with a sour look on Kirinji's face.

“I didn't protect him.” He insisted with a low voice as he looked away.

He really had not done such a thing, he told himself. He had just wanted to preserve the evidence of a horrible crime.

Feeling Kohaku's hand on his right shoulder made him eventually turn his head back to look at him again. Though, seeing him smile even more now, while looking actually proud, left a somewhat bitter taste in his mouth. Seemingly not being done with teasing him, Kohaku went on.

“Are you embarrassed?”

“I'm not.” He murmured while cursing himself as he felt his face heat up. Gods, he was actually blushing.

“You're a good kid.” Kohaku told him then and lightly ruffled his hair, apparently not being able to help himself.

Whatever protest he had wanted to throw back at him, died on his tongue when he felt his head hurt. Only now did he remember that he had been hit in the head with a metal pipe.

Screwing his eyes shut, Kirinji groaned as he reached up with his right hand and pressed it lightly against his head in hopes this would help somehow.

Seeing him wince in pain, Kohaku quickly stopped and pulled his hand back, asking whether he was okay, and gods did he sound concerned in that moment.

It took Kirinji a couple of minutes before the pain lessened enough for him to open his eyes again, doing his best to ignore the unshed tears in his eyes that made his vision slightly blurry.

Kohaku was still looking at him with concern and something that looked suspiciously like guilt.

“I'm fine.” He told Kohaku after another couple of moments of catching his breath.

Slowly trailing his fingertips over the bandage around his head he hadn't noticed until now, he let his hand eventually sink down to the bed again and sighed.

“Those guys you fought really did a number on you.” Kohaku commented with a quiet voice, still not taking his eyes off of him, almost as if he expected him to keel over and die on him.

Kirinji could only hum in agreement, though tried not to think about what had happened.

For some reason, he recalled Naomi's tale of how Kohaku had lost Tatsuya and almost Tsukumo in the same night. But he would certainly not think the same now. After all they weren't friends, even though Kohaku was friendly with him.

Silently, he followed Kohaku's gaze to his bandaged, left arm, part of him not even wanting to hear what the doctor had said about it.

“The doctors performed surgery on it.” Kohaku told him after another moment of silence, though he could tell that he wasn't telling him everything. Whatever. He could ask the doctor himself later.

More silence followed until Kohaku began telling him how that fight against Kuryu had went, how they had found those explosives and then later exposed the terrible truth that had lain burried under Nameless Street for so long. In all of that, he also mentioned that Smokey was here in the same hospital, and that the doctors worked hard to treat him now that they finally knew what they were dealing with.

Part of him was curious to know how Smokey was doing, but in the end he refrained from asking. The last thing he needed was for Kohaku to think that he cared for the Rude Boys leader. He did not.

Instead he was caught off guard when Kohaku actually told him then just how much time had really passed since they'd last seen each other. He had been so sure that it could've only been two days, maybe three. It was almost a whole week. Apparently, his vitals had only improved three days after surgery and that his short conversation with Hiroto was also a day old already, making this the fifth day he was in hospital without him even being aware of it. It left him reeling.

Eventually, Kohaku left the room to call Masaki and Hiroto to let them know that he was properly awake this time.

While he was away a doctor came by to check him over and actually told him the full extent of his injuries, his right knee and rips were quite banged up, but would heal with time, same was true for his head injury that had left him with a concussion.

He could tell that the doctor was dancing around the matter that was his injured left arm. When he was finally told the truth then, he wasn't sure how to feel other than numb.

They had reconstructed the torn muscles and fixed the broken bones, but weren't sure whether he would get back full mobility. They would have to do more tests at a later date, the doctor told him.

What was he supposed to do with an arm that might never work properly again? Still he thanked the doctor and then turn his head to look out of window instead, not caring when he left the room. He didn't mean to ignore the older man, but he couldn't bear those eyes full of pity any longer.

A small part of him wondered whether the others knew. They probably did, given the way they had been looking at him. Now the guilt he had seen in Hiroto's and Kohaku's eyes did make sense and he could only feel repulsed by it. He didn't need anyone's pity or guilty feelings over what had happened. It was his own fault for getting involved. He should've left it at leaving messages on their phones instead of going out of his way to warn them of the danger. That was why he usually didn't care about anyone but himself. It only ever ended in tears and broken bones.

Part of him wished Tsukumo hadn't picked him up and instead left his hysterical and broken self be. But no, he just had to drag him down the path of becoming a righteous man for one reason or another. It was ridiculous.

He wasn't like that, never had been.

He used people for his own gain, without getting attached, because that was the worst. It was a weakness. It was... _stupid_. So utterly stupid, he thought, only now realizing that he was crying.

Why did his heart ache at the thought of losing those people? It was ridiculous and still...

Without realizing he had gotten attached to them.

He was so caught up in that revelation that he didn't notice Kohaku coming back in to the room, though stopping by the door when he saw the state he was in. He couldn't know that his tears weren't due to knowing the truth about his injuries, but due to not fully realizing until now that he had people he cared about and wanted to know safe.

Kohaku left the room again to call Masaki and Hiroto once more, telling them to come here as quickly as they could.

When he came back in to the room, he found Kirinji poking at the food a nurse had brought him.

“Not hungry?” He asked him with a smile.

“Not really.” Kirinji shrugged with a sigh, though began eating after a few moments.

Kohaku did his best to ignore how red his eyes looked from crying and instead sat down and picked up his magazine.

* * *

It was a little over an hour later when the door opened and Masaki and Hiroto came inside, though stopped dead in their tracks at the scene in front of them. From Kohaku's earlier words, pleading with them to hurry here, they had expected to find chaos, maybe tears, but not this. Kohaku was in the middle of explaining to Kirinji something from the motorcycle magazine he was reading, both of them completely engrossed in the conversation.

Kohaku watched Kirinji turn his attention towards the Amamiyas when they made their presence known, smiling to himself when he saw his face light up with obvious joy. Quickly picking up his magazine, Kohaku stood up and got out of the way because it was obvious that Masaki might push him to the side any moment, barely being able to hold back his giddy energy. Once Kohaku was out of the way, Masaki was by Kirinji's side and hugged him close, telling him how happy he was that he was awake again.

Kirinji didn't mean to make Masaki stop, but the way he was hugging him made his rips protest and caused him to groan in pain. That then caused Masaki to let go immediately and back away a bit before he was pulled all the way back from the bed. He was about to protest, thinking it was his brother when he saw that it was Kohaku who then pulled him all the way to the door where he quietly told him be more careful.

Kirinji and Hiroto watched them for a moment before turning their attention towads each other instead.

“You okay?” Hiroto wanted to know, hesitantly reaching out with one hand towards him.

Kirinji was a little less hesitant as he met him halfway, reaching up with his right hand and lightly holding onto Hiroto's. “I am.” He nodded and smiled a bit, feeling that pleasant warmth of happiness bloom in his chest again. He was okay now.

The rest of the afternoon, Masaki told him about their fight against this really strong guy that was like a cyborg, while Hiroto kept himself busy peeling the apples Kohaku had left them before leaving.

“I know a guy like that.” Kirinji mentioned. It was mostly an off-hand comment, but it made both Masaki and Hiroto briefly stop and stare at him before they looked at each other.

“You sure?” Masaki wanted to know, though quickly got his answer when Kirinji described the tall man they had fought to a T, even mentioning the long sword and the way he dressed.

Whatever reaction he had expected that to get, it certainly wasn't Masaki looking at him with big eyes full of excitement nor Hiroto sighing softly before he held out one of the apple slices towards him. Kirinji had just turned his head towards Hiroto, wanting to pick up the slice with his hand as one did when he found it being pressed against his lips and then after a moment of hesitation all the way inside his mouth. It made him stop and stare at Hiroto with wide, disbelieving eyes, having not expected this. He'd also not expected his traitor heart to skip a beat at the action or the little voice in the back of his mind to snicker at the dumbfounded expression that sure had to be written all over his face.

Meanwhile, Hiroto looked quickly away, though wasn't able to hide how flustered his own action had seemingly made him.

Masaki looked between the two for several moments before he leaned over and closer towards his brother.

“Feed me, too.” He begged Hiroto.

“No.” It was all the answer Hiroto would give his brother, that didn't change even when Masaki continued to beg.

“Maybe you should just do it.” Kirinji suggested after having followed Hiroto's refusal, barely able to keep the amusement out of his voice.

He shouldn't have said anything because now Masaki had turned his attention towards him.

“Then you feed me.” Masaki said, using those stupid puppy dog eyes on him again.

“He will not.” Hiroto answered for him and before Masaki could even think about protesting, Hiroto had shoved an apple slice in his mouth to silence his brother.

Kirinji didn't know what had possessed him, but seeing Masaki being busy chewing, he picked up another apple slice and held it out towards Hiroto, holding it up high enough to his lips, so that his intentions would be clear that he wanted to feed the other just like he had done with him.

Hiroto glanced briefly at Masaki, though seeing him being seemingly oblivious to what was going on, he leaned forward and let the apple slice be fed to him. Though, before Kirinji could pull his hand away, Hiroto reached up and all too gently held onto his wrist and pressed a soft kiss to his thumb.

The action caused Kirinji's eyes to go wide as he felt his face heat up so much that he even noticed his ears having gone red and hot. It didn't get better when he saw Hiroto smile at his reaction, looking maybe a little too happy with himself.

* * *

The next day, he found Tsukumo sitting by his bedside, reading what seemed to be the same magazine Kohaku had read the other day. It was a surprise to see the other man, especially since he seemed to be alone. He really hadn't thought to see the other here, since it didn't seem as if he cared all that much about him, which was the only thing that wasn't a surprise in all of this.

When Tsukumo finally did notice that Kirinji was awake, he gave him a small nod

“Kohaku-san will come by later. He's visiting Cobra.” Seeing the curiosity on Kirinji's face, Tsukumo went on telling him that they were still cleaning up the mess from the destruction Kuryu had inflicted on the SWORD region.

Kirinji nodded at that as he could imagine just how badly the situation must've been escalated. “At least nobody died.” He said quietly to himself, though it was loud enough for Tsukumo to pick up and cause him to smile a bit.

“You aren't all that bad.” Tsukumo added which made Kirinji glare at him.

It was one thing if Naomi had the weird idea stuck in her head that to be the case, but for Tsukumo to say it like that, it left a very bitter taste in his mouth.

The sour expression seemed to amuse Tsukumo as he went on.

“Y'know, Cobra actually thought about going after Kuryu after the attack on Sannoh. Seems like Naomi begged him not to.” Apparently, he had heard of him talking with her, warning her of Kuryu not going to play around any longer.

It made Kirinji open his mouth in protest, though whatever it was he wanted to reply died on his lips when he heard Tsukumo's next words.

“Seems like I made the right choice to take you in.”

Right... He still didn't remember all too clearly how that had happened. So seeing Tsukumo actually redirecting the conversation that way, Kirinji wanted to know why he had done it.

“Why did you do it?”

Now that made Tsukumo blink in surprise as he looked back at him with a baffled expression.

“You're kidding, right?” Tsukumo asked. “You really can't remember what happened that night?”

“Not really... it's all a bit blurry around the edges.” Kirinji admitted. Truth be told, his curiousity was the only reason why he even admitted that much.

He knew that Nikaido had given him a warning not to screw up again and then had sent him after Kohaku and Tsukumo and then... What then?

“You had some type of nervous breakdown.” Tsukumo told him with an oddly quiet voice, still looking at him as if he couldn't believe that the other couldn't remember.

“Panic attack.” Kirinji corrected him with an equally quiet voice and then motioned for Tsukumo to go on.

What Tsukumo told him then sounded like a bad joke, but given how out of it he had been after, it could've been the truth regardless of how outlandish it sounded. Apparently, he had said that he couldn't go back anymore after it had become clear that they wouldn't be able to defeat Kohaku and Tsukumo. He had seemingly thrown the Kuryu pin away himself, while his suit jacket had come off when he had held onto Tsukumo's arm and asked him to bring it to an end. Apparently, Tsukumo had taken it for some sort of joke and had thrown him to the ground instead.

Yes, he remembered hitting the cold and wet ground, thinking that not even those two would be merciful enough to fulfill his last wish, since he really couldn't go back and face Nikaido.

“That's right... I remember it a little bit clearer now...” He whispered mostly to himself, not even realizing that his heartrate had picked up or his breathing having quickened over being told the truth about that night.

On the other hand, Tsukumo did notice as he looked from Kirinji to the monitor he was still hooked on, eyes widening when he saw the lines going bonkers all of a sudden.

“I'll get a nurse!” He told him, out of his chair the next moment. But before he could run off, he was grabbed by the sleeve of his jacket with Kirinji telling him not to leave.

So Tsukumo stayed, sitting back down and letting Kirinji told onto his jacket, just like he had done that night before he had pushed him away. Though, he wouldn't do that this time. Instead, he watched him carefully as he waited for him to calm back down.

Back then, he had thought it would be some sort of trick, but seen the same thing happen again, albeit not so bad this time, he was glad that he had made the right call not to fulfill this kid's wish and had instead picked him up.

Eventually, Kirinji let go of Tsukumo's jacket and instead leaned back against the pillows to catch his breath, eyes closed. When Kirinji opened his eyes again, he saw Tsukumo holding out a glass of water towards him which he took with a grateful nod. Taking slow sips, he waited for Tsukumo to say something, anything. There was no way he wouldn't comment on this.

Imagine his surprise when all Tsukumo said was him asking whether he was okay, actually sounding concerned.

Kirinji didn't know what had possessed him to laugh a little at the question which didn't quiet down even when he saw Tsukumo staring back at him with wide eyes. He wasn't okay, not really.

“You're a little shit for scaring me like that.” Tsukumo grumbled, wondering whether he had pulled his leg.

Eventually, the laughter did die down, though Kirinji was still looking at Tsukumo with an amused smile. He could tell that the other was mad at him, still the concern was nice. Though, telling that to Tsukumo only made him all the more angry.

“I should've left you in the rain.” Tsukumo grumbled, surprised when he found Kirinji agreeing with him.

“You're a weird one.” Tsukumo said after some time.

“You're the weird one, picking up strangers off of the streets as if they're strays.”

Oh, that really had hit a nerve because Tsukumo wanted the half-full glass of water back, telling that he didn't deserve his concern when he was acting like that, while Kirinji did his best to hold onto the glass, giggling, and sounding as if he was close to hysterics due to the ridiculous situation.

That was the exact moment Kohaku chose to come in to the room and stare at them for several moments.

“You two are really like cat and dog.”

Oh, _that_ only made Tsukumo and Kirinji glare at Kohaku before telling him, at the same time no less, that they weren't like that at all. Their reaction cracked Kohaku up all the more.

Shaking his head, Tsukumo let go of the glass and then got up with a huff, telling Kohaku that he would go for a smoke. Though, he stopped by the door and told Kirinji, again, that he shouldn't have helped him, something Kirinji agreed with once more, though was actually serious now.

“What was that all about?” Kohaku asked once Tsukumo was out of the door.

“Nothing really.” Kirinji shrugged with an oddly melancholy look on his face. “Just two guy regretting past decisions.”

Kohaku let it slide instead of poking for more, figuring that one of them would eventually tell him the whole story.

At some point during his stay, Kohaku told Kirinji that Naomi had mentioned that she wanted to come visit.

Kirinji almost choked on his food when he heard that, coughing for several moments before he shook his head as answer. He didn't want her to come, no matter how misguided her kind intentions were, he really could do without her seeing him like this.

Kohaku was surprised by his refusal, seemingly having thought that they'd managed to get along well the last time he had stayed with her at Itokan.

“You did warn her about Kuryu's intentions.” Kohaku reminded Kirinji who still looked as if he'd rather be anywhere else but here.

“I did.” He admitted, though then fell silent without providing an actual explanation as to why he had gone out of his way to do that.

“Was it because you care?” Kohaku wondered. Kirinji was about to protest that he did not care, but the words wouldn't come out. Instead he admitted, very quietly, that he just didn't want to have the blood of someone he knew on his hands.

“So you do care.” Kohaku smiled, looking so awfully proud that it made Kirinji's stomach twist painfully.

“I'm not a good person.” He told him, sounding so very bitter.

Kohaku actually smiled at that. “I know that much.”

“Then why, why did you go out of his way to give me a second chance?” Something he really didn't deserve.

“Maybe I saw something familiar in you, something that was worth giving you a chance to prove yourself.” Kohaku shrugged.

Kirinji couldn't believe it, feeling his face heat up more and more as Kohaku's words sank in. He just wanted to hide for a while, not that Kohaku would let him, judging by the way he was looking at him as he gave him the tiniest of smiles.

In the end, Kohaku gave Kirinji Naomi's number, telling him to give her a call whenever he felt like it because she really wanted to know that he was doing well. It left him reeling in a way, only slowly coming to terms with the fact that she, for some reason, cared about him.


	9. Chapter 9

Two days later and Kirinji couldn't stand being in the same room the whole day without thinking he might climb the ceiling out of boredom. He could only sleep for so long before it became too much. Sure he wasn't alone, come noon someone would be there by his side and talk with him. It was nice, really, pleasantly so. And still, he was slowly getting restless. It wasn't that he wanted to flee, he just wanted to change of scenery for a bit.

Since his right knee still gave him some trouble, of the nurses had given him a crutch to use after reminding him not to overdo it.

He hadn't meant to wander too far away from his room, just down the corridor, have a look around to see where he was. But after being lost in thought over the events of the last couple of days that led him here, while still not wanting to think too much about that fight despite being reminded daily of the consequences of it, he soon found himself somewhat lost.

Looking around, he realized that he didn't know how he had gotten to this wing of the building. This was the worse and on top of that he couldn't see a nurse or anyone else around he could ask for directions. This was great, really great.

Sighing, he leaned against the wall to decide what to do now. At one point, he had to see someone from the hospital staff, though he could hardly walk around until then, probably getting even more lost in the process.

That was when he spotted someone in the distance sneak around the corner and looking around as if to make sure they were alone. What?

Looking a little bit closer, Kirinji couldn't believe it when he realized just who the other person was. Smokey.

What was he doing? And why he dressed in his street clothes? There was no way he had already recovered to the point of getting released.

He watched him from afar for a few more moments, slowly realizing that it seemed as if the other was trying to sneak out of hospital. Feeling himself getting irritated by the idea of this idiot trying to flee after everything, Kirinji made his way over to Smokey before he even realized what he was doing.

“Where do you think you're going?” He demanded to know as greeting, sounding maybe a little more angry than he had intended. Though, he found that he hardly cared in that moment.

Smokey whirled around when he heard Kirinji, eyes widening when he recognized him.

Kirinji could tell that Smokey had likely not thought anyone would be around, much less stop him in his attempted escape.

“You look like shit.” He told Smokey, not feeling like sugarcoating his words, while still sounding irritated as he looked Smokey over with narrowed eyes.

It took Smokey a couple of moments to recover from being caught. “What happened to you?” He asked as he pointed at his heavily bandaged left arm and the crutch he was leaning on.

Kirinji could only huff in annoyance. “It's your fault for not listening to me when I told you to leave.”

He could tell that his words were hitting their target just right when he saw Smokey's eyes going wide with understanding while his face grew even paler than it already was. Smokey was about to apologize, the words halfway out of his mouth, when he found Kirinji glare up at him.

“What do you think you're doing?”

“I have to leave.” Smokey began, but soon found his way blocked by Kirinji who still glared up at him as he stood his ground.

“I don't think so.” Kirinji growled, easily slipping back into old patterns due to Smokey's idiot tendencies.

It had the desired effect when he saw Smokey narrow his eyes in response, but before he could say anything, maybe even question why he had helped him when it seemed to be clear where his loyalties laid (oh how wrong he was on that front), Kirinji had taken a couple more steps towards Smokey and then used the crutch to push him back towards the direction he had come from.

“Go back to bed.” He ordered him, using the same tone he usually used on lower ranking Kuryu members when he wanted something to be done and would not hear a single complaint about it.

Smokey opened his mouth to protest which was the last thing Kirinji needed right now. He just wanted to go back to his own room and not prevent this idiot from running away. But given the fact that it had been partly his fault that he was here, he wouldn't let Smokey escape this easily.

How had _he_ ended up being the adult of the two?

“Just go back to bed already or I'll knock you out again.”

He could tell by the look on Smokey's face that he was questioning that statement.

“Even in my current state I'm still able to beat you up.” He snapped. “Just look at yourself. You look like death warmed over, all frail and ill. So go back to bed before I'll make you.”

“But my gang...” Smokey began, though was quickly interrupted by Kirinji.

“They're likely able to manage for some time without you.”

Oh, _that_ had really hit a nerve, Kirinji noticed when he saw the far-off look on Smokey's face, the same expression he had worn when he had seen him in Nameless Street a couple of days ago.

Whatever else either of them had wanted to add to the conversation, was interrupted by a nurse coming by, seemingly having searched for Smokey the whole time.

Kirinji couldn't stop himself from telling the nurse to think about tying Smokey to the bed because he was likely to try and run away again when she wasn't looking. Seeing the embarrassed look on Smokey's face actually made him smile a bit, something that didn't vanish even when Smokey caught sight of it. But before he could actually comment on it, the nurse was dragging him off back to his room.

* * *

Well, that had been interesting, Kirinji thought to himself when it was just him then. Though, soon realized that he had forgotten to ask the nurse how he was supposed to get back to his own room. Whatever.

While getting lost in a hospital was definitely something new, he had to run into someone else at some point.

Turning around, he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw none other than Hiroto standing right behind him.

“How long have you been standing there?” Kirinji asked quietly, feeling a little faint and anxious due to realizing that Hiroto had likely heard some if not all of his conversation with Smokey. But also due to the fact that he hadn't noticed Hiroto at all, something that hadn't happened before.

“A while.” Hiroto shrugged as he came closer, concern coloring his voice as he got a better look at him. “You look a little pale.” Hiroto went on as he reached out and brushed the back of his fingers over Kirinji's left cheek.

The surprising, but still very welcome touch, sent a pleasant shiver through his body, making him close his eyes briefly before he manage to catch himself.

Apparently, his short moment of weakness was enough for Hiroto to get the wrong idea about his well-being because the next moment he had picked him up bridal style, causing Kirinji to yelp in surprise while clutching the crutch to himself.

“Wh-what are you doing?” He asked him, hating how he couldn't stop himself from stuttering out his words in obvious embarrassment while he felt his face heat up.

“I'm going to carry you back to your room.” Hiroto told him matter-of-fact as he began walking, ignoring Kriinji staring at him with wide eyes. He couldn't believe this.

Once back in his room, Hiroto placed him oh so gently on the bed before taking the crutch from his hands and putting it aside.

Kirinji was a bit surprised to see that it was just them, not that he would complain about it, but it was rare for Masaki not being right next to his brother.

He must've been a little too obvious while looking around the room, because the next moment Hiroto told him that Masaki was probably still in the bookstore searching for the books he had asked him for.

“You just left him there?” Kirinji wondered, honestly surprised and maybe a little amused.

Hiroto only shrugged. “He'll find his way here, books or not.”

Kirinji was quiet after that, not knowing what to say to that.

A few moments later, Hiroto seemingly couldn't keep his curiosity to himself any longer.

“Would you've really fought Smokey?”

Kirinji couldn't help snorting. “I knocked him out before, of course I'd do it again, ill or not.”

He didn't even sound sorry for saying that. He waited for Hiroto to scold him for threatening to beat up an ill man, but it never came, even though he saw him shake his head.

He didn't know what had possessed him to continue talking then. “Did you finally realize that I'm not a good person?”

Hiroto, meanwhile, could only blink at the question, looking at him as if he didn't understand what he was talking about. And because he never learned when to keep his mouth shut, Kirinji continued talking.

“Not only did I knock out Smokey, I also toyed with the idea of handing him over to Kuryu.”

“But you didn't do that.” Hiroto interrupted him, voice so very gentle that it irritated Kirinji for some reason.

He knew why, of course he did, he wasn't stupid. It did because he didn't think he deserved any of the gentle touches or comforting words Hiroto was offering him. He couldn't deal with being handled that way. He only knew rough hands and sneering words. But this, he wasn't used to gentleness and affection, being treated with genuine care.

Seeing the lost look on his face, Hiroto smiled a bit as he reached out to lay his hand on Kirinji's right knee, again so very gentle while being mindful of his injuries.

“You ran to protect Smokey. That's all that matters.”

“I didn't go to Nameless Street to protect Smokey.” Kirinji protested weakly. “Also I... I didn't run there. I borrowed a bicycle.”

Hiroto's reaction had not been anything Kirinji would've expected as he was suddenly laughing, doing it so very softly. It didn't sound mocking in any way and yet Kirinji found himself torn between pouting and being fascinated by Hiroto's laughter as it was the first time he heard it.

“Why did you go to Nameless Street if not to help Smokey?”

“I wanted to warn you after I couldn't reach you on your phones.” Kirinji admitted quietly, hating that he could feel his face heat up again.

“You really care that much about us?” Hiroto sounded just as proud as Kohaku had done, though unlike then, this time Kirinji didn't feel his stomach twist into uncomfortable knots at the praise.

“I... didn't want to lose the only people I came to care about.” Kirinji admitted eventually and then after another moment with an even quieter voice added. “I didn't want to lose the only people I like.”

The hand on his knee left, causing his heart to sink, thinking that he had overstepped a boundary. Of course he had, whatever affection he thought was there, was probably just in his head, stupid childish dreams making him believe that he could actually have something nice for once.

Feeling Hiroto's hand touch his then, doing it so very hesitant and oh so gentle, pulled Kirinji out of his thoughts and instead made him focus on that hand slowly stroking over his right one before eventually intertwining them with each other.

It was just like his dream and he had to actually congratulate his mind for managing to dream it up so vividly that it could compare to the real thing.

“I told you to be careful.” Hiroto murmured as he slowly got up from the chair and then, moving even slower, leaned closer.

“What?” Kirinji breathed out, eyes wide as he followed Hiroto's every move.

“I told you to be careful.” Hiroto repeated, face now so very close to his that he could actually feel his warm breath against his skin.

This was a dream, right? He had either passed out somewhere or hit his head, _again_.

Feeling Hiroto's other hand brush over his left cheek as he leaned even closer, Kirinji had to fight with himself not to move, _not_ to smash their lips together, no matter how tempting it was, no, because he wanted to know what Hiroto would do, wanted to let him do the last step.

He was close, so very close that he could feel the heat radiating off of the other as his warm breath danced over his skin, while his heart beat a mile a minute.

They didn't know that they had an audience for some time, with Masaki standing on the other side of the closed door, torn between listening to their conversation while also standing guard so they wouldn't get disturbed by anyone.

That only worked until he saw Kohaku and Tsukumo making their way down the corrodor towards him. Of course they questioned why Masaki was standing by the closed door instead of going inside the room, while he tried and failed to make them be quiet.

It was quite the commotion with Masaki doing everything in his power to prevent Kohaku and Tsukumo from entering the room, everything but actually tell them what they would interrupt.

The three men only fell silent when suddenly the door was pushed open with maybe a little too much force to reveal an angry-looking Hiroto staring not just his brother down.

At least Masaki had enough decency to actually look sorry, though before he could get any apology out, Hiroto had grabbed the bag with the books from his hands before closing the door, again using a little too much force.

Ignoring Masaki's begging to be let inside, Hiroto stood with his back pressed against the closed door, only looking up when he heard Kirinji's laughter.

“You're not mad?” Hiroto wondered, still standing by the door.

Kirinji shook his head and then held out his right hand so Hiroto would give him the bag with the books.

“I'm disappointed, sure, but I'm not mad.” He told Hiroto. “It was to be expected that we would have little to no privacy.”

“That's not what I meant.” Hiroto interrupted him, causing Kirinji to blink at him in confusion.

“What did you mean?”

“Not us being interrupted by my brother and the other two.” Hiroto said quietly as he finally stepped away from the door and handed Kirinji the bag with the books before sitting down on the chair next to the bed.

The confession caused Kirinji to almost lose his grip on the bag, staring at Hiroto with wide eyes.

“Us... the thing I wanted to do before my brother happened.” Hiroto murmured, sounding uncharacteristically sheepish as he looked anywhere but Kirinji.

“What did you want to do?” He asked quietly as he reached out with his right hand and carefully touched Hiroto's cheek, almost as if he was afraid to scare him away.

Feeling those warm fingers against his skin, made Hiroto finally look up, surprised to see him smiling at him.

Taking the bag with the books, Hiroto put them aside and then slowly sat down on the edge of the bed. Seeing Hiroto slowly inch closer, Kirinji shifted a bit more to the side to give Hiroto more room, curious what he would do.

He would be lying if he said that this wasn't exciting. Usually, he would've grabbed the other by the front of the shirt and pulled them into a kiss, but he wanted, needed to know what Hiroto was feeling, that this wasn't all just in his head.

And so he shifted even more to the side, almost toppling out of the bed on the other side which was only prevented by Hiroto's arm around his middle pulling back onto the bed. The sudden too tight hold caused his rips to protest and made him gasp.

“Careful.” Hiroto murmured, so very close against his ear that it sent a pleasant shiver down his spine. Oh.

This was just like his dream. Or... had that been real this whole time?

Now laying side by side on the narrow bed, Kirinji really had to hold himself back not to make the first step as Hiroto was so close now that he was certain that he would be able to hear his damn heartbeat.

Meanwhile, Hiroto was gazing at him with that precious look of affection in his eyes. Unlike before, Hiroto's hand was now slowly and carefully brushing over his left hand, only stopping when he felt his fingers twitch slightly under his touch.

“You felt that?”

“Of course.” Kirinji smiled. “My arm is mostly numbed due to the pain meds, but I do feel your touch.”

“Is it painful?”

“No... it's rather pleasant.”

The confession had the intented effect because now Hiroto was smiling again, actually looking somewhat relieved.

Kirinji watched Hiroto's fingers slowly trail up his left arm, most times not even touching him, almost as if he was afraid of hurting him. Eventually, he'd reached his left cheek, brushing the back of his fingers over the warm skin as he slowly leaned closer until their faces were only inches apart.

“I'm glad you're alive.” Hiroto murmured before he closed the gap between them and brushed his lips over Kirinji's.

He had never been more happy to be alive than in that moment, barely able to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. Of course Hiroto noticed when he broke away a few moments later.

“You okay?”

“More than okay.” Kirinji replied and then couldn't hold himself back any longer as he grabbed Hiroto's shirt and pulled him closer again, kissing him once more but with more passion this time, smiling into it when he felt Hiroto all but melt against his lips. _Oh._ How interesting.

They had just broken the kiss with Kirinji wanting to say something when he door opened again as Masaki poked his head into the room.

“Hiroto? Do you want to come with me and grab something to eat?”

Kirinji had barely enough mind to stop Hiroto from grabbing the bag with his books and flinging it at his brother's head who shrieked as he ducked out of the room.

“Leave him.” Kirinji giggled as he took the bag from Hiroto's hands, ignoring the thunderous expression on his face as he leaned in and kissed him again.

It was surprising what kind of calming effect it had on Hiroto, so much so that Kirinji had to store the information in the back of his mind in case he would need it in the future. Had he known that it would be this easy, he would've done this way earlier.


	10. Chapter 10

It was several hours later before Masaki tried again to come in to the room, though stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the scene in front of him. Hiroto still laid on the bed, seemingly asleep, while having one arm thrown over Kirinji's middle. He, on the other hand, was sitting up and reading one of the books Masaki had bought him.

“Is he... sleeping?”

“Uh huh.” Kirinji looked up from his book and gave Masaki a small nod in greeting.

He hadn't been able to believe it himself either at first when Hiroto had pretty much fallen asleep within half an hour. Last thing he had been able to do was cuddle closer to him with one arm drapped over his middle, just like he had found him sleeping that night when he had confessed his true identity to them. Though, looking back on it now, part of him wondered whether Hiroto and even Masaki were getting enough sleep. Sure, they looked a little bit better than when he had first woken up here in hospital, but there was still that shadow of exhaustion lingering close. No wonder Kohaku had sent them home to catch up on sleep when he did.

Eventually, Masaki managed to shake himself out of his daze and came closer, sitting down beside the bed on one of the empty chairs.

“Are the books the right ones?”

“Yes, thank you for getting them for me.” Marking the page he was at, he put the book away on the bedside table before he turned his attention to Masaki, finding him staring at him with a big smile on his face. “What?”

“You seem to be doing a lot better, is all.” Masaki shook his head, though continued to beam at him.

That made Kirinji stop and blink in surprise.

It was true that he was feeling better, and maybe, just maybe it was due to his heart feeling freer thanks to having finally come to terms with everything he had believed to be dreams had actually been real. Gods, he must've painted a nice foolish picture to Hiroto all this time.

“Did Kohaku and Tsukumo leave already?”

Now that made Masaki's expression shift into a sheepish one. “Yeah... Sorry about that. I tried to keep them out.”

The confession had Kirinji narrow his eyes dangerously at him, which seemed to be enough for Masaki to sit up a little bit straighter.

“That's even scarier than when Hiroto looks at me like that.” Masaki laughed a little, though it sounded just a little bit on the nervous side.

It was enough for Kirinji to catch himself and take a deep breath as he tried to relax again. “Sorry.”

Why was he apologizing? He wasn't the one who had eavesdropped on them.

Now though Masaki was smiling at him again, and weirdly enough it was a welcome sight.

They continued to sit in comfortable silence for a bit longer before Kirinji spoke up again. “Say...”

“Mmm?”

“Why did you and Hiroto take me in that night?” He knew it was a little late to ask _that_ question after all this time, but he wanted to know. “I was just a stranger...”

“We knew all along, y'know.” Masaki interrupted him.

“Huh?”

“Kohaku and Tsukumo told us who you were when they dropped you off.”

“What...?” Now, it was his turn for his eyes to go wide in surprise, not fully aware of his own breath quickening at that information.

“They told us what happened... what you've asked of them and how desperate you've sounded...”

“Then why? If you knew all that, then why?”

Without answering, Masaki was out of his chair and leaned closer, though refrained from touching him the last moment, seemingly having not forgotten how Kirinji had fought them touching him the last time. “Hey, please don't be scared, okay?”

It didn't really work, of course it didn't. If it was this easy, he would carry a slip of paper with him and read it whenever he wasn't doing well. He really needed to explain to them what they should do whenever he got like this.

What was worse, Masaki now also looked as if he was close to having a panic attack.

“Deep breathes.” Kirinji told him, not knowing where he even took from the energy in that moment.

It took them both several long minutes before either of them was anywhere close to being calm again, though Kirinji soon realized that the calmer he seemed to get, the better Masaki looked. _Oh._

“Better?”

“Shouldn't I be the one asking that?” Masaki sighed as he sat back down, now really looking exhausted. “Is it always this bad?”

“Worse...” This wasn't even in his top 10, probably barely made the top 50. Kirinji lightly shook his head, though immediately stopped when he felt his head hurting on top of everything else. This was just perfect.

“How can you live with that?”

“I just do.” He said quietly, cursing under his breath when it came out more bitter than he wanted it to. Not looking up, he hugged his good arm around himself, though was mindful not to wake Hiroto. How had he even managed to sleep through that? He must've been really exhausted.

“That's one of the reasons why we took you in.” Masaki said eventually, voice so oddly quiet and hesitant, almost as if he was afraid of triggering another attack.

Hearing that, made Kirinji look up, blinking slowly at Masaki as if he didn't understand what he was talking about. “Huh?”

“You were so out of it that night.” Masaki went on. “And after what Kohaku and Tsukumo told us, we were scared you'd try something.”

“Try...?” Did they think _he_ was going to hurt them?

“We thought you might kill yourself.” Masaki clarified, having trouble to hold Kirinji's gaze for too long.

He blinked in surprise. Why would he do that, he wondered for a moment until he remembered that he had seemingly asked Tsukumo to end it all for him. Oh, _right_...

“Was that the reason why you never left me alone?”

“Yes.” Worrying his lower lip, Masaki took a deep breath before he revealed something else to him. “That's also the reason why we left you with Naomi that one time.”

“Wait... _What_?!” Now, that made Kirinji sit up straighter in bed, though still mindful not too be too loud.

“Apparently Kohaku talked with her about your situation after we went there to visit.”

He couldn't believe this! Mulling the whole situation over in his head, he slowly realized why Naomi hadn't left that night to go home and instead had spent the night with him. Gods, how pathetic must he have looked to her that night? And still, still she wanted to know that he was doing well, even asking whether she could come visit. Great.

“So it was pity on your part?”

Masaki didn't even have to answer that, his silence spoke volumes on the matter.

He had never wanted anyone's pity and now that he finally had something nice in his life, he found out that it was due to him being a complete idiot. Part of him wanted to rage, yell at someone, hurt someone, but then his gaze shifted to Hiroto sleeping so peacefully before going up and see Masaki still looking sheepish, and all those terrible urges suddenly ebbed away. It was weird.

Hearing Masaki suck in a breath as if he was about to say something, Kirinji beat him to it. “Don't... just don't say whatever you want to say.”

Seeing the expression on Masaki's face shift from something hopeful to an almost pained one, made Kirinji's stomach twist uncomfortably. Great, he really was getting soft.

“I'm not mad... It's just a lot to take in right now.”

That was seemingly enough for Masaki to stop looking as if he was close to crying.

In the end, Masaki toed off his boots and then put his feet up on the foot end of the bed before he leaned back a bit more into his chair. “Tell me when Hiroto wakes up, okay?” It didn't take long after that before his eyes were closed and he had seemingly fallen asleep, too.

It was kind of weird seeing both of them so out of it. His issues must've really put them through the wringer, so much so that he couldn't help but feel guilty over it.

Leaning back against the pillows with a sigh, he stared up at the ceiling, unable to stop his mind from going through all the little things that had happened the last couple of months. Even if it had been pity more or less forcing their hand, he found that he couldn't be mad at them. Had he found out sooner what the real reason was, he would've probably exploded in a fit of rage, but he found that he didn't care all that much the longer he thought about it all. They had given him a home when they really didn't have to, they had gone out of their way to treat him kindly, as ridiculous as that was to him. He wasn't something fragile that needed to be coddled, and still... He had come to like this. Those gentle hands making sure he was safe, caring words asking whether he was okay, how he was feeling, looking happy when he smiled at them and actually meant it.

How long had it been that he thought he had a hole in his soul right where his heart would be? Funny how those two had managed to sneak right in, as if they had nothing better to do, and after they had begun they wouldn't stop creeping in more and more until they were right at home. 

How was he even supposed to handle tenderness after all these years? How should he cope with anything that wasn't fury and mockery?

* * *

He didn't know how long he had stared up at the ceiling before he found himself reaching for his phone and the slip of paper Kohaku had left him a couple of days ago.

It took him several tries before he finally managed to make his fingers cooperate enough to dial Naomi's number. It rank once, twice, while he wondered whether he would bother her if he called her at such an hour. The last time he had been there, Itokan had been quite busy. He was about to hang up when he heard Naomi's soft voice.

“Hello?”

He took a deep breath before he answered. “Hello. It's me.” _It's me?_ How old was he, 12? Get it together, he told himself. He didn't want anything from her, so he should be able to talk like a normal human being and not like some nervous teenager calling their crush.

He heard her suck in a somewhat shaky breath in recognition before she answered in an even soft voice. “Hello.”

“Hello.” Oh gods, please don't say that they would be stuck in a loop of greeting each other. Though, before he could say anything else, he heard her giggle.

“It's good to hear from you.”

That made him blink in surprise, not that she would be able to see it.

“Give me a moment...”

He hummed in answer and then listened to her muffled voice telling someone on the other side that she would step outside for a bit and then waited for several moments before she continued speaking.

“Okay... hello again.”

Smiling to himself, he couldn't help himself than to say “hello” again, which in turn caused Naomi to giggle again. “How are you?”

There was a short moment of silence on Naomi's end. “Shouldn't I be the one asking that?”

“You first.” Kirinji prompted her, not able to keep the smile out of his voice.

“Okay... I'm okay. The diner is still standing and everyone I know is alive.”

“That's good to hear.” He was honestly relieved to hear that the diner was still standing, considering how much it meant to Naomi and Kohaku and Tsukumo.

“How are you?”

“I'm alive.”

For some reason that seemed to make Naomi smile enough so that he could hear it over the phone. “I know. Kohaku told me what happened.” He heard her take another somewhat shaky breath at the last part. “I meant how are you feeling?”

“I'm okay, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“It's... complicated.”

“How so?”

Thinking his answer over for a moment, Kirinji leaned back against the pillows, his gaze shifting briefly over to Masaki. “I've been told why you babysat me that one time.”

He heard Naomi suck in a sharp breath at that, though before she could answer, he went on speaking. “Don't worry about it. I'm not mad. I kinda understand why you all felt the need to do that. I'm still coming to terms with it though.” Not that he approved of it, but that was besides the point.

“I'm sorry...”

“Don't be.” Kirinji interrupted Naomi before she could say anything else outlandish.

They were quiet for a moment after that with only the muffled sounds of Itokan filtering through the phone.

“Is it busy over there?”

“Hmm, it is. But I like it that way.”

“They're a lively bunch.” He didn't know what had possessed him to say that, but now that it was out in the open all he could do was curse under his breath.

“They are.” Naomi agreed a moment later, seemingly also needing a second or two to come to terms with what he'd just said, again sounding as if she was smiling.

“Cobra really didn't go after anyone from Kuryu, right?” Kirinji couldn't help asking.

“No, no, he didn't. He wanted to though.”

Was he imagining it, or did she sound just as surprised as she had done that night when he had warned her of the danger that was Kuryu?

“I can imagine.” He hummed. That would've only ended in tears. They would've captured him one way or another and then tortured and killed him. All to make an example of him not to mess with Kuryu.

“He fought someone from Kuryu in Nameless Street, though.”

“Huh?”

“Don't you remember...?” Naomi asked quietly, sounding so very hesitant.

Remember? Just who could've Cobra fought there...? And then it clicked. Nikaido. He vaguely remembered seeing Cobra standing over someone that had looked suspiciously like Nikaido shortly before he had fallen unconscious again. He had almost forgotten about that, already having been too out of it due to his head injury and the blood loss.

“Oh...” It was all he could manage to say. He wanted to ask what exactly had happened, but the words wouldn't come out.

“You could come here some time and talk with Cobra about it.” Naomi offered, still sounding so very hesitant.

That was honestly one of the last things he ever wanted to do, but maybe that would be better than asking Kohaku for details, knowing that he would only look at him with those eyes full of guilt again. At least Cobra would never look at him like that, he was certain of it.

“I'll think about it.”

“Please do that.”

Before either of them could say anything else, he heard the front door of Itokan open and a quiet voice, that sounded like it belonged to Nika, ask Naomi whether she could come back in and help with the cooking.

“I'm sorry about that...” Naomi began, but was quickly interrupted by Kirinji.

“Don't be. Go back to your friends. We can talk some other time.”

Apparently that was just the right thing to say because he swore he could hear her smile again.

“We'll do that, okay?”

“Uh huh, sure.”

After ending the call, he slowly laid down more properly, careful not to wake Hiroto or Masaki who both still slept so very peacefully.

Turning a little bit more on his right side to face Hiroto, he couldn't help smiling as he watched him sleep. He looked so relaxed.

Before he knew it, he had brought up his phone and snapped a picture of the wonderful sight, and then because he hadn't already acted foolish enough, saved the picture as his new home screen.

Maybe he should really let his heart decide more often because now he had actually managed to capture a precious treasure.


	11. Chapter 11

The next day, Kirinji stood by a window looking down at the hospital's courtyard, still smiling to himself as he recalled how much Hiroto and Masaki had apologized that morning when the nurse had come in and had found them still asleep by his bedside. He had never seen either man look and sound so sheepish, barely able to keep himself from laughing as he had watched them bid their goodbyes to him before all but fleeing from the room.

While it was nice of them to stay for so long, he should probably tell them that they could go home in the evening. The last thing he wanted was for either of them to get sick due to lack of proper sleep. Gods, he sounded almost like Kohaku on the matter.

He was so lost in thought that he almost missed someone familiar walking around in the courtyard below, though when he did, he couldn't help narrow his eyes at the man.

“Are you trying to run away again?” He called down to the other and then watched in amusement as Smokey first stopped walking and then looked around for several moments, obviously looking for the source. “Up here!”

Looking up, Smokey eventually saw Kirinji by the window, wriggling his fingers a little in a small wave of sorts.

He wasn't sure what amused him more, Smokey's eyes going wide when he saw him or when he quickly went back inside the building.

Was that stupid kid really trying to run away again?

* * *

Things continued like that for two more days, with Smokey always being down in the courtyard close by the trees before being called by Kirinji and then immediately going back inside.

It was so silly, but if it would keep Smokey within the hospital instead of sneaking away, then Kirinji didn't mind all that much of keeping an eye on him. He wouldn't let the idiot run away and endanger his health again after almost getting them both killed.

On the third day, Kirinji was down in the courtyard himself, sitting on one of the benches while reading one of his books. His knee had finally stopped giving him too much trouble so that he could dare to go outside. Still, the nurse made him take the crutch with him just in case.

Out of the corner of his eyes he could see a familiar green jacket a bit away by the trees. He couldn't believe it. Was this idiot trying to run away again?

“Aren't you getting tired of getting caught every day?” He called over to Smokey who immediately stopped whatever it was he was doing and turned towards him.

Moving his head slightly to the side to try and see what Smokey was hiding, he found his view blocked by the man.

“I'm not trying to run away.” Smokey told him, voice still so soft and quiet just like all the other times he had talked to him. He looked a little bit better, but still nowhere near as healthy as he should be.

“Uh huh, if you say so.” Kirinji told him and marked the page he was at before closing his book and getting up from the bench. “What are you doing then?”

This ought to be good, he thought to himself as he slowly walked over to Smokey's side, using the crutch even though he hardly needed it anymore.

He had barely made it over to Smokey's side that he saw a small grey tabby cat sitting in the grass close by Smokey's feet.

“What's with the cat?”

“Nothing.” Smokey murmured, sounding so very defensive as he moved a bit in front of the feline almost as if he wanted to shield it not just from view but also from harm.

Kirinji could only huff at the action. What did Smokey think he would do, hit the cat? He wasn't a monster.

“What are you doing?”

There was a long moment of silence between them before Smokey eventually answered, looking and sounding almost as sheepish as the Amamiyas had done a couple of days ago when they had been caught by the nurse.

“I'm feeding her.” He told him and then showed him half of the slice of bread they had been given this morning for breakfast.

“Are you an idiot?”

Smokey's eyes went wide at the question, mouth opening in protest, though was stopped before he could say anything.

“You were on death's door and are here to recover. And what do you do? You give your food to a cat. Do you actually want to die?” He didn't mean to sound so bitter, but after everything that had happened he couldn't believe just how stupid Smokey was acting. He could understand to a certain degree why he would share his food, but not when his own health should be the priority right now.

“But...”

“No but!” Kirinji interrupted him, not believing how _he_ was suddenly the adult of the two. “Go back to bed and eat your food. And take your meds. You still look terrible.”

It looked like Smokey wanted to say something in answer, but in the end he only glanced down to the cat for a moment or two before he went back inside.

“What a hassel.” Kirinji sighed as he shook his head, only being pulled out of his thoughts when he heard a soft meow. “What do you want? I don't have any food for you.” He told the cat with a much softer voice than he had used on Smokey. All he got in answer was another soft meow which made him bent down, though almost regretted it when he felt his right knee protest, and then petted the cat's head, earning him loud purring.

“You are cute, I'll give you that.” A compliment that earned him another meow.

Gods, now he was talking to cats. He couldn't believe it.

Back up in his room later, he didn't know what had possessed him to ask Masaki whether he could buy him some cat food, especially since they weren't alone right now. Of course Tsukumo couldn't stop himself from commenting whether he was finally living up to Kohaku having proclaimed him to be a cat.

“It's not for me.” He grumbled out as he glared daggers at Tsukumo, honestly wishing Hiroto hadn't taken the crutch from him. “It's for some cat Smokey keeps feeding.”

Oh, he shouldn't have said that because now the others were looking at him with those awful proud smiles. “What?”

“I'm glad you two get along.” Kohaku told him, almost sounding like some proud father, it irritated him.

“We're not getting along.” Kirinji protested weakly. “I just don't want him to keel over and die just because he keeps feeding that cat half of his food.” He wouldn't let that idiot die, not when he was the reason he had almost died himself.

Those words didn't help at all, if anything the other four were now looking even more happy than before. It made Kirinji groan and bury his head in his right hand, wishing he had never said anything to begin with.

“You know what, don't get me that cat food.”

“No no, I'll get it for you.” Masaki told him, smiling still.

* * *

Of course he found Smokey again by the trees the next day, the cat by his feet.

“You really have a death wish, don't you?” His voice didn't sound anywhere near as angry as his words sounded. He watched Smokey whirl around and stare wide-eyed at him, while the cat meowed in greeting.

“Here, give her that instead of the bread.” He said as he held out a can of cat food before he shoved the bag with the rest of the cans Masaki had bought him into Smokey's hands. He had really gone overboard with buying so much, but seeing Smokey stare at him and then at the offered cat food, had him smile just a little bit.

Part of him wondered whether Masaki wanted for them to get along. Such a ridiculous idea, he thought while shaking his head.

Seeing that there likely wouldn't come a response any time soon, he went over to one of the benches to continue reading his book in peace.

It was maybe half an hour later when he found Smokey standing in front of him.

“What do you want?” Kirinji asked without looking up from his book.

“I wanted to thank you.”

“For what, the cat food? I'm not the one who bought it.” Kirinji told Smokey as he turned the page in his book, still not looking up at the other man.

“For saving my life.” Smokey explained a moment later, causing Kirinji to finally look up, blinking slowly when he saw Smokey carrying the cat in his hands. It looked ridiculously small like that.

“Okay.” Kirinji said eventually and was about to turn his attention back to his book when Smokey suddenly sat down next to him. It irritated him, though he refrained from saying anything and instead watched Smokey out of the corner of his eyes.

“You know who I am, but I have no idea who you are.” Smokey began after a bit, while playing with the cat in his lap. “I thought I knew who you belong to, but I'm not so sure anymore.”

“Why, because I got you cat food?”

Apparently that was enough to make Smokey smile and shake his head. “No, because you seem to care that I live.”

Kirinji couldn't help staring at Smokey when he heard that. He... he thought _what_?

“Listen, I...” Kirinji began, causing Smokey to turn his head towards him and looking at him with big, innocent eyes that, as ridiculous as it sounded, reminded him of Masaki. Suddenly he could hear the others' words telling him how well he had done protecting Smokey. He hadn't done that because he cared. He had just wanted to preserve the evidence of a horrible crime after it had become clear that nobody else would do it.

“Why were you even alone that time?”

Now it was Smokey's turn to stare before his gaze went down to the cat in his lap.

“Did you want to die that day?”

“I...” The color that crept over Smokey's cheeks in that moment told him everything he needed to know.

“You really are an idiot.” Kirinji shook his head, not believing any of this.

“I'm sorry...”

“ _Why_ , for almost getting us _both_ killed because you're a dumbass with a death wish?” It came out more bitter than he intended it to, but he hardly cared in that moment.

Smokey was about to say something to that, but got beat to it.

“You know what, forget it. Just play with your cat.”

Whatever either of them had wanted to add to that was interrupted by Tsukumo's voice carrying down to them from one of the windows.

“Hey Rin-chan! We're here now!”

“Stop calling me that!” Kirinji yelled up at Tsukumo, which was met with laughter.

Not saying anything else to Smokey, Kirinji packed up his book and went inside, not sparing a glance back to Smokey who looked after him and then up to Tsukumo who still stood by the open window.

* * *

A day later, Kirinji was back in the courtyard, sitting on one of the benches and reading his book when he found Hiroto standing in front of him. Looking up, he was about to ask whether something had happened and why he was there so early, when he saw the time.

“Hello.” He smiled in greeting, surprised when Hiroto came closer and then sat down on his right side, pressed so close that he could feel his warmth through their clothes, something that made his heart beat faster. “Did you come to pick me up?”

“Mhm.” Hiroto nodded and smiled a bit, and then a moment later, taking Kirinji's right hand and gently held it in his own two. “Are you feeling better today?”

“Hmm, a bit.” He murmured, feeling guilty for the foul mood he had been in after returning to his room yesterday. But the whole revelation about Smokey's intentions that day had left him reeling in the worst way. “Sorry about yesterday.” He went on, eyes fixated on Hiroto holding his hand.

He was so warm, easily turning him into goo with nothing but his mere presence.

After a few moments, he couldn't help himself and leaned his head against Hiroto's shoulder, letting out a content sigh when he wasn't being pushed away.

Gods, he could really get used to this.

“Is your book good?”

“Mhm, it's great.” He hummed and then after a bit began to read Hiroto a passage he really liked.

They weren't alone for long though.

Stopping reading, Kirinji looked up when he noticed Smokey standing a bit away from them, looking at them with big eyes, while again holding the cat in his hands.

“Oh... hello.” Hiroto said eventually when he also looked up and spotted Smokey.

It was obvious from Smokey's hesitation that he wasn't quite able to make sense of the situation that presented itself to him in that moment. It took him almost a minute before he caught himself enough to come closer to them and then after another moment or two sat down on Hiroto's other side, though a little away from them.

Kirinji pretended to ignore Hiroto's and Smokey's conversation, choosing to give them at least the pretense of privacy, while he read the same passage in his book over and over again. He only stopped and glanced over to them when Hiroto took one of his hands away, while intertwining his other hand with Kirinji's. Meanwhile, he reached over and gently petted the cat in Smokey's lap.

“Does she have a name?”

“Rin.”

Kirinji almost ripped a page out of his book when he heard _that_ name come out of Smokey's mouth. “ _What_?!”

Before Smokey could say anything though, the cat meowed suddenly.

“It's the only name she reacted to.” Smokey explained with a small smile, seemingly oblivious to the angry look on Kirinji's face, completely focused on the cat in his lap. “Right, Rin?” That was answered with another meow.

“You should calm down or you'll scare the cat.” Hiroto whispered against his ear, giggling softly, with his breath was so warm that it sent a pleasant shiver down his spine.


	12. Chapter 12

Two days later, Kirinji woke up to a grey world and what seemed to be never-ending rain.

Groaning softly, he looked over to the window and watched as the rain dyed everything into a blurry mass of greys and blues. It made him feel sleepy and oddly melancholic, so unlike himself.

He reached up and rubbed his hand over his face to try and make the last traces of sleep disappear.

Sitting up eventually, he moved his head a little up and down to see whether the clouds would break up at some point, but it didn't look that way. Sighing, he reached for his phone and called Hiroto, telling him that he and his brother shouldn't come in today due to the rain. He was surprised to hear both brothers protest, telling him that they would be okay despite the weather. The sentiment was nice, but still he insisted that he would be fine for the day and that they should use the opportunity to stay in and maybe catch up on some sleep. That earned him precious words of gratitude from both of them, which made him feel all warm inside. He told them to come by as soon as the weather cleared up before wishing them a good day.

What was he supposed to do now though?

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he tested out his right knee for a bit before he decided to give it a try to _not_ use the crutch today. And with neither Amamiya there, the only people who could scold him were the nurses should he overdo it, something he didn't plan on doing.

He had just made it down the corridor to the window that faced down to the courtyard when he spotted the last thing he needed that day. Smokey was out in the pouring rain, again by the trees.

This absolute idiot really had a death wish!

Cursing under his breath, he raced down to the courtyard, or well at least as fast as his right knee allowed him to. He couldn't believe that he was running again for someone's sake.

“What are you doing?” He yelled over the rain when he was finally there, trying to ignore the piercing pain in his knee that slowly but surely made his whole leg hurt.

Smokey whirled around and looked at him with big eyes before his attention went back up the tree he was standing under. “Rin.” He said as he pointed upwards. And sure enough the small grey cat was sitting on one of the brances high up above the ground, meowing.

How had she even managed to get up there in the first place? She was so small, it should've been impossible.

“Get out of the rain, you idiot! Or do you want to catch a cold on top of everything else?”

“But...!” Smokey protested, looking as if he was about to climb up the tree to rescue the cat.

Suddenly seeing red, Kirinji grabbed Smokey by the sleeve of his hospital gown and all but shoved him back against the entrance to the courtyard, so he would be out of the rain. He didn't watch the other man stumble for a moment or two before he was able to catch himself to be steady on his legs again, and instead held up his right arm towards the cat in the tree.

“C'mere Rin... C'mon be a good girl and come here.” He told the cat with an oddly sweet and gentle voice he had almost forgotten how to use before actually make kissy noises at the feline to try and coax her to come down. “C'mon, I promise we'll get you out of the cold rain and get you somewhere nice and warm and _dry_.”

It felt like an eternity before the cat eventually moved, slowly oh so slowly inching her way towards Kirinji's outstretched hand. And then she leaped down towards him and for a moment Kirinji felt his heart stuttering to a stop as he watched her jump.

“I've got you...” He breathed out as he cradled the shivering cat against his chest with his one good arm, hearing her meow softly. “It's okay now.”

Looking up, he spotted Smokey by the entrance to the courtyard, out of the rain, just as he had told him to and breathed out a sigh of relief before he quickly crossed over to him.

“There she is.” Kirinji told Smokey as he handed the cat over to him, who immediately cuddled her close to his chest to warm her up.

“Thank you... thank you so much.” Smokey began, though quickly trailed off as he watched Kirinji lean heavily against the wall, wet hair hanging in his eyes while looking so much paler than usual. “Are you okay?”

“No...” Kirinji shook his head while biting his lower lip, fighting with himself not to slip down the wall and curl up when his right knee was hurting so much now almost as if it was on fire.

That's what he got for caring about anyone but himself, he thought bitterly.

“I'll get a nurse!” Smokey told him and was about to run off when he was stopped by Kirinji holding onto the sleeve of the hospital gown.

“What about her?” He nodded towards Rin. “If anyone sees you with her, they'll flip out and might toss her out. She's a stray after all, right?”

Seeing Smokey look down to the cat in his arms as if only now realizing that he could _not_ run around hospital with her, made Kirinji wonder whether he really was an idiot.

“What are we going to do now?” Smokey whispered as he leaned on the wall next to Kirinji, holding the cat just a little bit closer against his chest.

 _We_? Kirinji wanted to ask as he stared at Smokey, wondering since when they had become a 'we'.

They were quiet after that with Kirinji trying to catch his breath, while trying not to wince at how much his wet clothes were clinging to him in that moment.

“By any chance, is anyone from your gang coming by today?”

“My sister is visiting every other day, but I'm not sure whether she will come in this weather.”

“Hmm...” He had feared something like that. “So we can only wait and hope for the best.”

 _We_? Great, now he was also talking about them as a 'we'. How far had he fallen?

In the end, they had decided to wait outside under the small roof by the entrance of the hospital in hopes that Smokey's sister might actually show up, so that she could take in Rin for a while.

It was one of the worst decisions he had ever made in his life. Not only were his clothes only slowly drying, so painfully slow, but that also made him shiver more than he wanted to show Smokey. The cold morning air was also not helping. Not that his knee was doing any better either. It was just a perfect day all around.

“You should probably go back inside and warm up.” Smokey said after a while, sounding so damn concerned that it almost made his stomach turn. It was one of the last things he needed.

“I'm fine.” He said, though hugged his right arm around his middle in hopes of preserving at least some warmth. The cold had never bothered him much, but right now, he would kill for a warm breeze, or at least dry clothes.

Eventually, they saw a young woman and man made their way towards them, both huddled under a beat-up umbrella.

“That's Lala and Takeshi.” Smokey nodded ahead as the couple came closer.

Watching them for a moment or two, Kirinji eventually patted Smokey lightly on the back. “Hand Rin over to them and then go back to your room.” He told him as he began to slowly walk back inside, now really wishing he had his crutch, while still trying to suppress the shivers that ran through his body.

The dressing down by the nurses he received as soon as he showed up at his ward was one for the books. It didn't help him at all feeling better, but at least they helped him into new dry clothes and then checked his bandages and redressed the ones that needed to. During all this he didn't say a single word about what had happened, just apologized to them for the extra work he was causing them. At least _that_ seemed to be enough to make them get off his back and leave him be for a while.

Now in bed, he couldn't help curling up under the covers actually wishing he wouldn't be alone today. It was his own fault for caring about anyone but himself, it hammered through his mind on repeat before he eventually fell asleep.

* * *

His dreams were an abstract jumble of images and colors he couldn't quite remember when he blinked his eyes open again a couple of hours later, feeling stupidly warm despite the thin blanket.

Looking over to the window, he saw that it was still raining which didn't really help improve his mood.

He was about to close his eyes and try to go back to sleep when he heard a knock on the door.

“Yes?”

Slowly the door was pushed open and Smokey poked his head inside, looking around for a moment before he finally saw him and then immediately smiled. “Hello!”

Oh.

What was he doing here?

Sitting up more properly, he watched Smokey close the door and then come closer. “I finally found you.”

“Huh?”

“You were gone so quickly.” Smokey began as he sat down on one of the empty chairs. “I wanted to introduce you to my sister and Takeshi.”

That was precisely _why_ he had left when he did.

“Does anyone know you're here?” Kirinji wondered, doing his best not to sound as sleepy as he still felt.

Apparently, that caused Smokey to smile all the more.

Was he thinking that he was concerned about him? That wasn't the case at all. He just didn't want to get scolded again, once was more than enough.

“I told the nurses that I would be here. Finding you, though, was a bit of a challenge.”

“What do you mean?”

“I didn't know that your name wasn't actually Rin.” Smokey explained, causing Kirinji to frown when he heard him use that name again. “So when I asked the nurses for your room, they didn't know who I meant. For a moment I thought I had only dreamed you up.”

Now, that made Kirinji stare, not believing what he was hearing, that was until Smokey continued speaking.

“They only realized who I mean when I described you.”

“ _Why_ are you here?” Kirinji interrupted Smokey then and there before he could say something that would actually make him throw him out.

Seemingly oblivious to the whole situation and Kirinji's irritation, Smokey bowed his head a little bit. “I wanted to thank you for getting Rin down from the tree.”

“I can't believe you actually tried to climb up there.” Kirinji said quietly, more to himself than anyone, still it was loud enough for Smokey to pick up and smile a bit as he watched him.

“Despite your harsh words, you're actually kind.”

“I'm not.” It was said so quickly in response that it didn't sound convincing even to his own ears.

Glancing up, he saw Smokey smile which only irritated him more. In that moment he really wanted nothing more than to throw him out.

“Did you hand Rin over to your sister?” He asked instead, doing his best to stay calm.

“Mhm, I did. She promised to look after her while I'm here. I also gave her the cat food you got me.”

Kirinji wanted to protest that it wasn't him who had bought that, but seeing Smokey look around his room made him close his mouth again before he could say anything.

“I didn't know you had more of them.” Smokey pointed to the small pile of books Masaki had bought him.

“There's not much to do around here.” Kirinji shrugged with his right shoulder, wondering _why_ he tried to find excuses for his hobbies when he hadn't done that since he had been a teenager.

“May I?” Smokey asked, sounding even more polite than usual with his hand hovering over the book he was currently reading.

Kirinji merely nodded and then watched Smokey pick up the book and slowly turned a couple of pages, linging longer on some of them almost as if he was actually reading more than just a word or two. A not so small part of him waited for Smokey to comment on the fact that he was reading books about poetry next to an anthology of short stories for children by the same writer. Smokey had to say something, right? Not even Masato or Kizzy had managed to keep their mouths shut the first time they had realized just what he was reading.

“These are really nice.” Smokey said eventually, smiling in a way that made Kirinji feel oddly warm. “I was surprised at first...” He went on after carefully placing the book back on the bedside table.

“What about?”

“That man that called you Rin, I've seen him before during that first attack on Nameless Street. I wasn't sure what to make of you two knowing each other, especially since...”

“Since...?” Kirinji prompted Smokey, even though he could guess where this would go.

“I'll be honest... At first I thought you were part of... not so pleasant people given the way you spoke to me when you said that I should go back to bed.”

Not so pleasant people? That was honestly a curious way to put being part of Kuryu, if he'd ever heard one.

“But then I saw you with...”

“Hiroto.” Kirinji ended Smokey's sentence for him before he could.

“Yes.”

Figured. Of course it would be that. Why would he like him for himself anyway? And why did he even care whether he would?

“I'm sorry I doubted you.”

“You didn't...” It was said with such a bitter edge that it made Smokey momentarily blink in surprise, even more so when Kirinji suddenly got up from the bed, ignoring his still aching knee, and then grabbed a confused Smokey by the elbow and pulled him up to his feet.

“What are you...?”

Kirinji didn't say anything as he pushed Smokey out of the door with an dark look on his face. “I'm _not_ whatever you think I am.”

“What?”

“I'm not kind or caring or whatever other ridiculous idea you have of me.” He told Smokey, using the same way of speaking to him as he had done the first time they had seen each other again in hospital.

Tilting his head a bit to one side, he gave Smokey a cruel smirk as he went on. “I used to work for those very people that tried to kill you.”

Ah! _There_ it was, that wide-eyed look on Smokey's face, that mixture of shock and betrayal, he'd last seen when he had walked out on his former gang. Seemed like he hadn't lost his edge after all.

“Don't bother coming back here... Because I really don't need those misguided ideas about me you seem to have stuck in your head.” He gripped the door frame just a little bit tighter, both to keep himself upright but also to try and keep calm, not wanting to lose it even more than that, not when he could feel dread creeping up on, so much so that he was close to throwing up.

“Just go and take care of yourself.” Because he wouldn't, he thought to himself and then shook his head to clear his mind, immediately regretting it as he could feel it hurting with what he hoped would be a simple headache.

He didn't give Smokey a chance to respond, pushing the door closed with a little too much force before he could say a single word to any of this.

This was bad, he thought as he punched the wall next to the door. Hissing under his breath, he curled his fingers a few times before he finally went back to sit on the edge of the bed, not feeling well at all.

It was still raining and didn't look as if it would ever stop, which meant thanks to his idiot self telling Hiroto and Masaki that they shouldn't come visit, that he would be alone for however long it would take for the sky to clear.

That's what he got for caring about them. And if that wasn't bad enough, he had also destroyed whatever connection was beginning to bloom between him and Smokey, not that he cared for that. He didn't care, _not_ at all.

Leaning forward with his head almost resting on his knees as he curled up, he realized too late the tears in his eyes, which only made him feel all the more awful.

He didn't understand why Smokey's words had made him react that way. Their conversation had gone more or less well until it didn't. Of course nobody would like him for himself, and it was still a mystery to his tired mind why the Amamiyas or Kohaku and Tsukumo did. It seemed he could tell them all he wanted about who and how he was, really was, they still liked him. It was ridiculous in a way, nobody was _that_ foolish. And still, still he liked them, all foolish and caring.

He realized too late the world tilting dangerously to the side as he fell onto the bed, legs still dangling over the side, as he felt hot tears stream freely down his cheeks.

He didn't want to be alone, he thought before the world went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The books Kirinji reads are all by Miyazawa Kenji.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for the beginning of this chapter: choking, assault

His chest felt so heavy that he could barely manage to breathe properly, which was what made him slowly blink his eyes open eventually. However, he almost regretted it immediately when his eyes finally adjusted to the low light in the room and he saw just what caused his discomfort.

“Stop whining.” The cold voice above him ordered, while the boot on his chest increased its pressure, making it almost impossible to breathe.

“Please... Nikaido-san...” He hated how weak his voice sounded in that moment, though unlike for him, his begging only seemed to amuse the other man as he laughed darkly.

“Please what? Hurt you more?”

He was yanked up to his knees before he could answer, causing him to gasp at the sudden movement, though did his best to suck in a couple of deep breath while he could. At least the boot on his chest was gone, not that it was any easier to breathe for some reason.

“I asked you a question.” The blade of Nikaido's sword was suddenly pressed against his cheek, threatening to cut him should he not answer. “What should I do with you?”

 _Leave me alone_ , he wanted to scream, but the words wouldn't come out, instead he could only stare up into those cold eyes.

Why did he feel so heavy anyway?

“Pathetic...” Nikaido sneered and then let go of him, letting him fall unceremoniously back onto the ground. And while the suddenly shift, the sensation of falling, was terrible in itself, it actually manage to make him wake from the nightmare. Gasping softly, his eyes darted around the dark hospital room in fright of seeing Nikaido actually jumping out of the shadows.

Great... That had been the last thing he'd needed right now.

Still breathing heavily, he got slowly out of bed and walked over to the small sink in the corner. He still felt stupidly warm, while his limbs seemed heavy like lead. Maybe he could dare to open the window later and get some fresh air.

He had just splashed some water into his face to try and wake up more and chase away the last remains of the dream, when he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror over the sink. Pale skin and dark bags under blood-shot eyes. Gods, he looked like death warmed over.

“You didn't answer my question.”

The low whisper so close to his ear made him almost jump out of his skin. Eyes wide, he whirled around and was again face-to-face with Nikaido, who looked so very murderous as he smirked at him.

“You can't be here...” Kirinji whispered, trying to back away from the other, only to realize that he was already so very close to the sink that running away would be impossible. “You aren't real...” He shook his head. This was a dream, right?

“I am.” The dark chuckle was accompanied with Nikaido quickly reaching out and grabbing a handful of his hair, again not caring how much he'd hurt him as he yanked him around and smashed his head against the mirror over and over until his vision got so blurry with tears and he was gasping for breath once more.

“Pathetic.” He heard Nikaido sneer when he finally let go of him, pushing him down to the floor before he found him above him, one hand around his throat squeezing so tight that he couldn't breathe again. While, Nikaido's other hand found its way around his sword. A moment later, he felt the cold metal pierce his skin and it was just as horrible as the last time, cutting into his chest oh so slowly.

He wanted to scream as he tried to fight the other off and escape, but with every helpless little breath he took, he felt Nikaido's hand close around his throat tighter and tighter.

Please... someone... _anyone_...

* * *

He came to with a start, gasping for breath as he looked around the hospital room in fright, expecting for this to also be nothing more than a trick.

What a terrible nightmare, he thought, still feeling stupidly warm and heavy for some reason. Moving his head a little to the side, his eyes widened when he saw Hiroto sit by his bedside, leaning with his upper body on the bed seemingly asleep, while he held onto his right hand.

What? Why was he here?

Quickly looking over to the window, he saw that it was still raining and the world was still nothing but grey, which did nothing but confuse him all the more.

Was this a dream? It had to be. He had told him and Masaki to stay home in this weather. So this could only be a dream.

How nice, he thought, smiling a little as he curled his fingers around Hiroto's hand holding his. After those other two nightmares, this was something that actually soothed him some. Even if he was alone in the real world right now, at least here he wasn't.

Feeling sleep pull him back into its waiting arms, he was about to close his eyes when the door was quietly pushed open and he saw Masaki step in to the room.

What?

“Oh! You're awake.” Masaki smiled, looking so oddly relieved that it made him question why. “You really scared us there.” He told him with a quiet voice as he came closer and then woke up Hiroto who only slowly came by.

Scared them? What did he mean? The last thing he remembered was throwing Smokey out of his room and then... Then what? Had he passed out or did something else happen?

Before he could ask for any explanations, he found Hiroto kiss the hand he was holding and then also look at him with such relief written all over his face.

Now he really felt like he was missing something important.

He was about to try and sit up, but was quickly stopped by both brothers who told him to stay in bed, while sounding so very concerned.

“How are you feeling?” Hiroto asked after another moment of just looking at him with that odd mixture of relief and concern.

“Tired... warm.” He told them as honestly as he could. “It's a little hard to breathe.” He added when he tried to take a deep breath and found his chest feel so tight just like in that nightmare from earlier.

“You're really lucky Smokey found you and alerted the nurses.” Masaki began, though trailed off when he saw the confused look on Kirinji's face. “He told us that you were both caught in the rain yesterday―”

“Yesterday?” Kirinji questioned, eyes wide as he tried once more to sit up, but was immediately stopped by the other two.

“Yes, yesterday.” Hiroto confirmed as he reached out and gently stroked the back of his fingers over Kirinji's cheek, frowning slightly. “You're still running a bit of a fever.”

Ah... That was why he felt so awful.

“Wait... you talked with Smokey?”

“Uh huh.” Masaki nodded, smiling a little again. “He said that you helped him rescue his cat, but you seemed to be quite out of it after.”

That explanation left him reeling, blinking slowly as he tried to make sense of what he was hearing. After everything he had said... after how he had treated Smokey, he had still come to help him and now even seemed to cover for him despite of how awful he had been towards him. He couldn't understand it.

“Try to sleep a bit more.” Hiroto's soft voice pulled him out of his thoughts and made him nod, though quickly regretted it when he could feel his head hurting slightly.

He was about to close his eyes and go back to sleep, when he remembered something. “Why are you here anyway? I said not to come while the weather is bad.”

Apparently that was enough to make both brothers share a look and then turn back to him and smile.

“Smokey asked the nurses to call us, so we would come here.”

He couldn't believe it.

Before he could say anything else to that though, he was told to go back to sleep and that they could talk more once he would feel better. With the promise that they would stay, he fell into a thankfully dreamless sleep.

* * *

The next time he woke up, he found not just Hiroto and Masaki sitting by his bedside, but also Smokey. They were talking quietly among themselves and didn't realize that he was awake until he greeted them with a quiet “hello”.

After checking to make certain that he was feeling better, Hiroto and Masaki left the room, saying that they would go get something to eat. But he could tell that it was probably just to give him and Smokey an excuse to talk.

Silently watching Smokey, he took note that he looked a little bit healthier than usual, which was honestly a relief. That realisation, though, left him quite shocked.

He was about to say something, when Smokey beat him to it. “I'm glad you're feeling better.”

He was?

His shock and confusion over those words must've been plain as day because the next moment, Smokey was smiling, while looking a little sheepish for some reason.

“I'm not entirely sure what it was, but I'm sorry for angering you.”

“What...?”

What was Smokey talking about?

“It must've been something bad for you to lie like that.”

Lie? He felt like he was missing something really important here.

Sitting up now, Kirinji noticed that, even though he didn't feel as awful as the other day, his body was still heavy as lead.

He could tell that Smokey wanted to say more, so he needed to act fast to get some answers of his own. “Wait, please wait for a moment... take a few steps back and tell me _what exactly_ you're talking about.”

Smokey blinked in surprise at that, though nodded a moment later. “We were talking about your books and then about you knowing Amamiya Hiroto...” He trailed off, waiting for Kirinji to give him a sign that he remembered that. So when he saw him nod, he went on. “You told me that you used to work for those terrible people... But that could only be a lie, right? I don't think you would've helped me if you did.” As he said that, Kirinji watched Smokey reach out and carefully take his right hand into his.

Part of him wanted to push Smokey away, tell him again that he had the totally wrong idea about him, but feeling that warm hand holding onto his, made him close his eyes and desperately fight with himself not to start crying. Gods, he had gotten so soft that even that small gesture was getting to him.

“Hiroto and Masaki said you found me...” He said instead, hoping he didn't sound as choked up as he felt.

“Mhm yes.” Smokey went on. “After you've thrown me out... I was about to go back to my room when I heard you punch something. It sounded so painful.”

 _Painful_... Yes, it had been painful, but not in the way Smokey thought it had been.

“So you decided to come looking for me?”

“Yes.”

That single word was enough to make him laugh softly, no longer carrying how broken he sounded.

“Are... you okay?”

He wasn't... He really wasn't. He hadn't been okay in a long time. And now, now he was slowly falling apart right in front of these people.

“I don't know... no...”

Of course Smokey would misunderstand it, as he was suddenly up on his feet. “I'll get...!”

“No...” Kirinji told him and then gave Smokey's hand a light squeeze.

“But...”

“I don't want to scare them again.”

Smokey blinked at that once, twice before he eventually nodded and then sat back down.

“I still want you to meet my sister and Takeshi.” Smokey said after some time, causing Kirinji to laugh once more, though it actually sounded somewhat amused this time.

“Why would you want to do that?”

“Because I've told them how kind you are.”

“Can you stop saying that?” Kirinji pulled his hand away and instead used it to lean with his head on it.

“Would you prefer caring then?”

“Are you trying to rile me up?”

“Are _you_ going to lie again if I do?” Smokey smiled warmly.

“What if it wasn't a lie?” Kirinji asked after a moment or two of simply looking at Smokey.

“You saved my life and helped me with Rin. I don't believe you would've done that if you had worked for those people.”

“Think whatever you want then.” Kirinji smiled in a way that made Smokey stare, almost as if he was actually considering his words, though shook his head in the end.


	14. Chapter 14

The next day, Kirinji sat through the nurse removing the bandage from his head and checking the stitches on the wound.

“It will probably leave a scar along the left side of your hairline." She told him. An information he took in without saying anything beyond a quiet hum.

He would have to see how it actually looked like when healed to decide what to do about it. Maybe he could just brush his hair over it if it was too noticeable, he thought. For now, he would just wear his hair down like usual.

Once done with her examination, the nurse was seemingly pleased with how well and quickly he had recovered from his fever scare, though still told him not to overdo it for a while. Again, he only hummed in answer before thanking her, something that seemed to prompt the nurse to smile for some reason. "You're really a quiet and polite one." She told him and then left before he could protest.

He wasn't polite... or kind or caring, he thought with a huff as he laid back down, while pouting slightly. He had been fairly certain that several members of the hospital staff had witnessed not just his squabbles with Tsukumo but also with Smokey, especially the ones where he had called him an idiot to his face. Just because he was decent to the hospital staff didn't mean he was like that to anyone else.

 _But you are to some_ , the little voice in the back of his mind reminded him with an amused snicker. He hated that this was actually the truth.

Looking over to the window, he saw the outside world still dyed into greys and blues, but at least it wasn't raining anymore, not that it didn't look as if it would start again any moment.

A knock on the door pulled him out of his musings and made him sit up again.

“Yes?”

Of course it was Smokey poking his head inside the room, a somewhat nervous smile on his face. “Is it okay to come in?”

“Yes.” Kirinji nodded and then watched Smokey duck back out of the room for a moment before he eventually came inside, followed by a young woman and men, both dressed in green Rude Boys parkas.

Ah right, Smokey had insisted to introduce them the next chance he got and it seemed that he wouldn't waste any time on that promise.

It was an odd little group, with Smokey looking torn between happiness and nervousness, while the young woman next to him, _Lala_ \- his mind supplied, was wearing the most polite and yet genuine smile he had ever seen on anyone. On the other hand, the last in the round, Takeshi, wore an readable expression, but didn't appear to be hostile. Looking him over for a moment and then comparing his height to Smokey's, Kirinji couldn't help smiling a little bit (because of course he would when the realisation hit), thinking that he was most likely taller than this kid.

“This is my sister Lala.” Smokey began introducing them after another moment of somewhat tense silence. “And this is Takeshi...”

“Your second?” Kiirnji prompted.

“Yes, something like that.” Smokey nodded. “He leads Rude Boys while I'm here.”

“It's a pleasure.”

The words had barely made it out of his mouth when Lala had crossed over to him in the blink of an eye and hugged him, which caused him to freeze up at the sudden touch.

What?

“Thank you for saving my brother.”

_What?_

“Lala...” Smokey began, sounding oddly defeated, almost as if this was something he had counted on. “We've talked about this―”

“No!” Lala interrupted Smokey as she turned her head towards him, though continued to hold onto Kirinji's shoulders. “I should've never left you alone!”

Huh? What was going on?

Kirinji silently watched Lala's eyes darting over to Takeshi, while not even trying to make her let go of him, part of him curious what would happen next, while another, much smaller, part of him was a little bit scared of what would happen should she turn her attention back to him.

“She's right.” Takeshi said suddenly, sounding oddly choked up, so much so that it only confused Kirinji more. “I should've stayed with you... or at least should've tried harder to make you leave, too.”

Ah! _That_ was what this was all about.

“Have you at least thanked him properly?” Lala demanded to know, finally letting go of him.

“He did.” Kirinji said before Smokey could, startling him a little, while causing Lala to smile.

“Good.”

His gaze shifted between Smokey and Lala who both looked as if they weren't done arguing yet.

Were all siblings like that? From what Naomi had told him, she and Tatsuya had been like that, too. That thought alone startled him when he realized that this right there was just what he probably _not_ needed in his life right now, another pair of arguing siblings.

It took a bit, but eventually the little group sat down, with both Lala and Takeshi making sure that Smokey was doing well.

“I'm sorry my brother is causing you so much trouble.”

“Hmm?” Kirinji blinked slowly and then looked over to a sheepish-looking Smokey, silently asking him for what Lala could mean. Just what had he told them about him?

“You prevented him from running away from hospital and then even helped him with Rin.” Lala went on, while Takeshi nodded along with every word she said. “You even caught a fever.”

“Ah, that...” Kirinji shrugged, looking a little helpless in that moment. Truth be told, he had already felt out of it even before he had foolishly run to Smokey's side and helped him rescue that cat. Not that the pouring, icy rain had helped him in that regard. In a way, he hadn't been better than a child getting sick because he had been upset.

They continued talking for a bit, with Kirinji asking whether Rin was doing well, which was mostly important to him because it would ensure that Smokey wouldn't try running away, again. Apparently, she did, both Lala and Takeshi informed him while smiling at Smokey who looked really happy. It seemed that Lala had caught on as to why he had asked about the cat, because the next thing she told him was that Smokey had been asking for updates every time she'd come to visit. Now that made Kirinji laugh a little, sounding amused, while Smokey could only blush in embarrassment at his reaction.

It didn't take long before the door opened and Hiroto and Masaki came in, though stopped the moment when they saw that Kirinji wasn't alone. Lala's face lit up when she saw Hiroto, much to Kirinji's confusion until Smokey told him that he had asked Hiroto to rescue Lala after she had been kidnapped some time ago.

Ah yes, that explained why Smokey and Hiroto were so familiar with each other.

On the other hand, Masaki could barely keep his smile down when he saw Lala, much to both Hiroto's and Kirinji's chagrin, while Smokey only looked in confusion between them as they rolled their eyes at him.

“That's Smokey's sister.” Hiroto hissed in Masaki's ear, while holding onto one of his arms to stop him from going over to Lala and embarrass himself.

Not even a moment later, Kirinji could see that damn puppy dog eyes pout beginning to form on Masaki's lips and quickly shook his head at him, that no, he should definitely not try anything.

* * *

The next day, the doctors had wanted to run some tests on Kirinji's arm to check whether he was healing properly. The whole thing left him really nervous, hoping and praying to gods he didn't believe in, that everything was going well.

The tests took up almost the whole morning before he was sent back to his room with the information that his injuries were healing nicely, though they would've to do more tests in the future to ensure that it would stay that way. He was also informed that due to the severity, it could be up to four or maybe even five months before his injuries would be healed completely. Being told that the rehabilitation process might also take two months at the maximum, left him reeling.

He sighed at the thought of not being able to properly use his arm for half a year, which was honestly the worst thing. He had plans for the time after getting released from hospital, but after hearing that prognosis, all he wanted was to go back to his room and sleep, preferable for the rest of the day.

Those plans, however, quickly flew right out of the window when he opened the door to his room and saw not just Hiroto and Masaki there, but also Kohaku and Tsukumo, and for some reason also Smokey, Lala and Takeshi. It made him stop and stare for several moments, not that anyone actually seemed to notice him as they were all engrossed in some conversation.

“ _Why_ are you all here?” He asked finally, not really able to keep the bitter edge out of his voice as he stared at the others.

“Ah! There he is!” Kohaku beamed as he came over to him and whispered for only him to hear. “I'm glad you're making more friends.”

 _He wasn't!_ Kirinji wanted to protest, but the words wouldn't come out. Instead, he only sighed and shook his head as he crossed over to get back in bed.

“Everything okay?” Hiroto questioned when he saw how exhausted he looked.

The concern was really nice and made his heart skip a beat, though even that couldn't really make him smile.

“Yes... No... Maybe... I don't know.” He said quietly, looking dejected.

“What's going on?” Smokey asked, sounding so concerned that it only added to Kirinji not feeling too well.

“The doctors ran some tests on my arm...”

“And?” Masaki prompted, while the color slowly left Smokey's face.

“It might be half a year before I'll be able to use my arm properly again... But they'll still have to run more tests in the future.”

The silence that followed was deafening and only made him feel all the worse.

“I'm sorry.” Smokey whispered.

“Leave it.”

“But...”

“I said, leave it.” Kirinji shook his head, not in the mood for arguing with Smokey about this. It had been his own fault. “Just make sure to take your meds and get healthy again.”

Smokey wasn't the only one who looked a little startled at that.

“Just take it easy.” Kohaku said eventually, being the first to break the tense silence, offering him a smile.

“That's right!” Masaki nodded in agreement. “Hiroto and I will take care of everything at home, so you can concentrate on getting healthy again.”

 _That_ little piece of information made Smokey, Lala and Takeshi all stare at the three men, all of them several shades of red in the face, with Smokey being the most obvious to have caught on as to what seemed to be going on.

“Okay.” Kirinji nodded after a few moments and then took a deep breath to calm down. Glancing over to Hiroto, he saw him smile at him, which made him feel all warm and just a little bit better.

“What were you talking about earlier?”

That question made Kohaku smile all the more before he looked over to Smokey and Takeshi. “We were discussing how best to help Rude Boys rebuilt after the attack.”

“It looks pretty bad in some places.” Takeshi explained as he looked over to Smokey, a small smile blooming on his lips. “But we were really lucky not to have lost the most important thing.”

“Yes.” Lala agreed, sounding a little choked up, as she reached over and took her brother's hand into hers.

“That's what you saved.” Tsukumo whispered against Kirinji's ear, making him jump slightly since he had been so caught in looking at the trio while feeling a little choked up himself. The last thing he wanted was to lose it in front of even more people.

* * *

It was early afternoon that Smokey began to look as if he was close to falling asleep on his feet, something that Takeshi and Lala took as their cue to take their leave. Kohaku accompanied them out of the room, seemingly wanting to make sure that Smokey got back to his own room in one piece, while also sending Takeshi and Lala safely on their way back home.

“We should probably get on our way, too.” Tsukumo told them when Kohaku came back a few minutes later.

“Try not to worry too much about your arm right now. Just let it heal. I'm sure a stubborn guy like you will be healthy in no time.” With that, Tsukumo gave Kirinji a small wave and then left without giving him a chance to respond.

It sounded a little weird, but for some reason Tsukumo's teasing words actually managed to make him feel better, even though he had terrible bedside manners.

On the other hand, Kohaku gave him a light pat on the right shoulder and an encouraging smile before he followed after Tsukumo.

“We can stay a bit longer.” Masaki began, but was interrupted by Kirinji who had glanced over to the window, frowning when he saw that it would mostly likely get dark early that day.

“You should also go home.”

“Eh? But it's really no problem. Or are you that concerned for us?” Masaki grinned, obviously teasing.

“Yes, I am.” It was said with so much sincerity that it startled both brothers.

“I'm so happy!” Masaki beamed. Being the first to recover, he quickly hugged him before Hiroto could stop him. “If you need anything call us, okay? Even if it's just to talk.”

“Okay.” Kirinji nodded. He was really getting so soft that he didn't even think about pushing him off and instead reached up and hugged him back with his right arm.

Finally letting go, Masaki straightened back up and then turned to see his brother stand right behind him and immediately stepped aside and gave him a quick pat on the shoulder before he hurried over to the door. “I'll wait outside.”

With that he left the room and Kirinji was alone with Hiroto who looked a little bit nervous for some reason.

“Will it really be okay if we leave now?”

“I'll be fine.” He smiled as he reached out and took Hiroto's hand, gently tugging on it to make him come closer. The concern was really nice and oddly enough even welcome.

“We'll be back tomorrow, but if you need to you can call us.” Hiroto echoed his brother's earlier words as he came closer, so close that he eventually knelt with one knee on the bed.

Kirinji watched him closely, curious what was on Hiroto's mind as his eyes followed his every move, smiling when he saw him intertwine their fingers. He caught Hiroto's eyes briefly shift over to his left arm before they focused back on his face.

“I promise I'll take good care of you when you're back home.”

Eyes widening at that promise and the implication those words held, Kirinji felt his face heat up and after a moment, opened and closed his mouth, but no words would come out. He was completely dumbstruck.

Of course his reaction didn't go unnoticed because Hiroto suddenly leaned down closer, while reaching up with his free hand and laid it against his cheek, thumb brushing over his bottom lip just like he had before. _That_ action, meanwhile, caused Kirinji's face to grow even hotter. He now knew that the last time Hiroto had done that hadn't been a dream, but seeing him do so again, all while actually holding his gaze, _that_ left him even more speechless, while his heart was beating a mile a minute.

“You're so cute.”

“I'm not―!”

Kirinji's protest was cut short when Hiroto closed the gap between them and pressed his lips on his in a slow and deep kiss, making his eyes flutter closed. He hadn't expected that level of passion from Hiroto and so he was completely caught off guard by it. And still, it took him only a heartbeat longer before he was kissing him back, making soft, almost helpless, sounds in the back of his throat.

When the kiss was eventually broken, Kirinji found himself laying back against the pillows, not even having noticed when he had fallen back on them, while Hiroto was still hovering close over him and smiled adoringly.

“It's better if you go now.” Kirinji breathed out, knowing fully well that if Hiroto wouldn't leave that he would do something utterly stupid he wasn't all too sure he was willing to risk, not with his injured arm, and especially _not_ in a damn hospital with Masaki most likely standing right in front of the door.

“Okay.” Hiroto nodded and then leaned down and kissed his forehead before leaning his own against Kirinji's while gazing deep in his eyes. “Good night.”

“Good night.”


	15. Chapter 15

Two days later, and after even more tests, the doctor was ready to release him, finally. He was so giddy after receiving that news that he immediately called Hiroto and Masaki to tell them, smiling throughout the whole conversation. Both promised to come by as soon as possible.

While they were on their way over, Kirinji went to the ward Smokey was staying at to tell him. He hadn't realized what he was doing until he was already halfway there. But now that he had made it this far, he could actually go all the way just like his body had seemingly intended to do before his brain had managed to catch up on.

Once there, he realized that he didn't even know what room Smokey was staying at.

A nurse, he thought. He just needed to find a nurse he could ask. And wasn't it just his luck that he couldn't find one when he actually needed one?

“Are you lost?” A soft voice asked him after he had been straying around for some time.

Turning around, Kirinji saw that the one that had stopped him was a little girl that couldn't be older than 10, maybe 12 years old.

“Hello.” He greeted her, wondering what a child was doing here when this ward was supposed to treat those suffering from the same decease as Smokey. _Oh_...

“I'm looking for someone.” He smiled a bit, doing his best to appear non-threatening as he bent down a little bit. “Do you know someone named Smokey?”

Hearing that name made the girl's eyes lit up with recognition. “Yes, I know him!” She nodded, beaming. “Are you his friend?”

A friend? Kirinji had to fight with himself not to grimace at that word. He was pretty sure he and Smokey weren't friends. Then again, this child most likely didn't know about any of that.

“I guess?” His smile looked a little helpless in that moment, a small part of him fearing this child might kick or punch him should he say the wrong thing.

“You don't know?” The girl giggled, seemingly amused by his answer.

“It's a little complicated.” He shrugged, still looking helpless.

But it seemed to do just the trick because the girl smiled even more at him. “I'm Eri.”

“Kirinji.”

Eri's eyes widened when she heard that name, it seemingly holding some meaning to her. “You're Rin-chan!”

“ _What_?” Oh now, he really had to fight with himself to stay calm and not explode when he heard that name come out of the girl's mouth. If it hadn't been obvious before, he now knew that his child knew Smokey. Only he could do this. Why though, was beyond him.

“I'll show you the way.” Eri beamed and took Kirinji's hand before he could say anything else and then he got dragged behind her as she led him through the corridors until they stood in front of the last room's door. “I'll tell him you're here, okay?”

“Okay.”

Letting go of his hand, Eri knocked on the door and waited before she heard Smokey's voice telling her to come in.

While he waited, he looked around and sighed softly. He had never been a big fan of hospitals, but this place looked even more depressing and lonely than the rest of the hospital. He was so lost in thought that he almost missed the door opening, only noticing that he wasn't alone anymore when he heard Smokey's voice greeting him.

“Hello.” Smokey gave him a small nod, though wasn't able to keep the confusion over seeing him here out of his voice. “Did something happen?”

Kirinji was about to answer when he saw Eri popping up by Smokey's side, gazing up at him with a big smile on her face, while he had an arm around her shoulders. Looking between the two of them, he slowly realized that he couldn't demand answers as to why Smokey thought it would be a bright idea to refer to him with _that_ name, especially when he fully well knew his real one.

“I'm getting released today.”

The blunt answer made Smokey's eyes go wide, almost as if he hadn't counted on that to happen anytime soon. “Oh...” And then his face fell, which caused Kirinji to actually feel kind of bad and guilty of all things possible.

They weren't friends. Then why did he feel bad over seeing Smokey upset?

“I'll have to come back for checkups and physical therapy later though.”

Now Smokey actually looked a little relieved, which was a curious thing to watch unfold.

“That's great, right?” Eri whispered to Smokey, though was still loud enough for Kirinji to hear, who could barely hide his smile at them both.

“Mhm, it is.” Smokey told her. “Can you leave us alone for a moment, please?”

“Uh huh!” Eri nodded and then ran off, though stopped after a couple of feet and turned towards them to wave at Kirinji. “Bye-bye!”

Waving back at her, Kirinji waited until Eri had rounded a corner and was out of earshot before he turned towards Smokey, a frown on his face. “You just had to go around and tell everyone about _that_ name, right?”

The hissed out question made Smokey first blink and then bite his lip, looking as if he was close to laughing, and could barely hold it together.

Sighing, Kirinji shook his head before muttering under his breath. “You're just as bad as Kohaku and Tsukumo.” He wasn't a cat for god's sake!

“I'm glad you're getting released.” Smokey said eventually when it didn't seem as if he would laugh out loud, now in his room so they could have at least a little bit of privacy.

Really? Then why did he still look as if he was in pain over that matter?

“Don't use it as an excuse to try and run away. Okay?”

“I won't... I owe you.” Smokey said quietly as he looked at Kirinji's left arm.

He didn't owe him anything, Kirinji wanted to protest, but seeing Smokey's gaze fixated on his bandaged arm, made him think again.

“You're right, you owe me.” He said instead, right hand on his hip as he glared at Smokey, though did so only half-heartedly. “So you better stay put and make sure to take your meds and get healthy again.”

Smokey blinked slowly at him before he finally nodded, smiling. “I will!”

“Good.” Kirinji's expression morphed into a smirk. “And don't think I wouldn't go and tell your sister if you don't.”

Now Smokey's eyes widened in a comical way, causing Kirinji to be the one barely being able to not laugh out loud.

* * *

Bidding his farewell to Smokey, Kirinji went back to his own room. Opening the door, though, he was immediately caught in a tight hug.

“Wh-what?!”

“There you are!” Masaki laughed against his ear.

“Masaki?” Kirinji breathed out in surprise, immediately stopping any attempts to fight off the other man. Moving his head slightly, he saw Hiroto stand a little away from them, looking torn between smiling and disapproving of his brother's action.

“You're already here?”

“Uh huh!” Masaki nodded and then finally let go of him.

“Where have you been?” Hiroto wondered, sounding concerned.

“Smokey...” Kirinji began, taking a deep breath to calm back down after Masaki sudden attack. “I went to tell him that I would be released today.”

Seeing both brothers smile at that, made him feel oddly happy.

After exchanging proper greetings, Hiroto went to ask the doctor for the release papers, leaving Kirinji and Masaki alone in the room.

“Did something happen?”

“Hmm?” Masaki tilted his head a bit to the side at the question, momentarily stopping looking through the bag of clothes to look for something Kirinji could wear when going home.

“Hiroto seems to be a little on edge, doesn't he?”

For some reason that made Masaki grin. “He was cleaning his room all day yesterday.”

“Huh?”

“He's pretty determined to make everything look good and homey for you.”

“ _What_?” Kirinji almost dropped his books at that piece of information, eyes wide, as he stared back at a highly amused-looking Masaki.

“He was grumbling the whole time after I told him that you could sleep in my room instead.”

Oh. _Oh!_

That reminded him... They had never really talked about this whole thing.

“Masaki?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you okay with... your brother and me... y'know...?” Kirinji began, gesturing vaguely between himself and the closed door, while cursing inwardly for not being able to get the words out properly.

“Dating?” Masaki prompted, a hopeful look on his face.

“Yes.” Wait... _No_. They weren't dating. _He_ didn't date.

Before he could say anything else though, he saw the huge grin on Masaki's face.

“Of course I'm okay with that. More than okay actually.” Masaki nodded and then came closer to stand right in front of Kirinji, smiling still. “I think you're good for him.”

For some reason, he was convinced that it was actually the other way around. Still, he let Masaki go on.

“Ever since we lost our brother... it seemed as if he was forcing himself to smile for my sake, which is stupid. _I'm_ the older one. I should be the one to worry and take care of him and not the other way around.”

Kirinji stared up at Masaki as he took this all in, never having heard him sound so... tired in a way.

“At first I was surprised that he took so well to having you around. I was actually a little jealous at first.” Masaki laughed softly.

Not as jealous as Hiroto had seemed to be, Kirinji thought to himself, though kept his mouth shut.

“But I'm really glad...” Masaki trailed off as his gaze landed on Kirinji's left arm, a somewhat pained expression on his face. “Just... please don't scare us like that again, okay?”

Kirinji was at a complete loss for words, and only slowly managed to catch himself and then nodded eventually. “Okay.”

“Good! And now, let's find something you can wear.” Masaki nodded, smiling again as he walked back over to the bag with clothes. “How about this?” He asked as he held up a pair of sweatpants and a loose shirt. “Do you think this will work with your arm?”

“Yes, the looser the better.” Kirinji nodded and then began to change clothes.

When Hiroto came back to the room, he found Kirinji sitting on the bed and giggling to himself, while Masaki was sitting on the floor and quietly cursing because he had trouble helping him with his shoes.

“Just leave it alreadly. Just let me wear the sandals.”

“No. I said I would do this, so just let me.”

“What are you two doing there?” Hiroto asked after watching the other two for several moments.

“Masaki is helping me with my shoes.”

Hiroto looked as if he was close to asking why, when he instead held out the papers he was carrying. “Here. The release papers.”

“Thank you.” Smiling, Kirinji took the papers and read through them. He had already received a list from the doctor with things he should look out for in case he was feeling ill. That reminded him...

“What about the hospital bill?”

“It's already taken care of.” Both Hiroto and Masaki said at the same time, only realizing that they had done so when the words were already out of their words, which caused them to look at each other and frown slightly.

Meanwhile, Kirinji could only look between the brothers, not knowing what to say to that. He had money to cover the costs. Still, the sentiment was nice, no matter how misguided it was.

“Thank you... really.”

* * *

Once ready to leave and outside of the hospital, Kirinji stopped walking when he couldn't see the Amamiyas' bikes.

“Where are your bikes?” He turned to look at the other two who both looked a little sheepish for some reason.

“To be honest, we came here by bus.” Masaki answered eventually as he rubbed his neck with one hand.

“By... bus? You?” Kirinji asked slowly as he stared at them for several moments, thinking that they were pulling his leg, before he began to laugh, not able to help himself. This was too hilarious and unbelievable.

“Please stop laughing.” Hiroto pleaded with Kirinji, looking and sounding so very embarrassed.

“No no, come... I need to see you two riding a bus.”

Hiroto and Masaki shared a long look at that, both looking embarrassed and a little helpless.

The bus ride back home was in silence, though Kirinji was still smiling the whole time. Part of him had actually wanted to take pictures of the Amamiyas in a bus, but in the end had refrained from doing so because both had looked a little uncomfortable. And while it didn't always look that way, he knew when to stop teasing someone.

Eventually, they made it back home and Kirinji had never been more happy to be at the Amamiyas' apartment, instantly feeling safe the moment he walked through the front door.

“Welcome home.” Masaki smiled and gently patted Kirinji on the right shoulder before he skipped ahead to his room to get changed.

 _Home._ Yes, he was home.

“Do you want to lay down for a bit?” Hiroto gestured to his own bedroom.

Truth be told, he wasn't all that tired, still he wanted to see how Hiroto's room looked now. “Maybe later.” Kirinji shrugged and then followed after Hiroto when he went to unpack the bag with clothes.

Masaki hadn't been lying when he'd told him that Hiroto had cleaned his room as it looked a lot better than the last time he had been in here, which now felt like a life time ago.

While Hiroto was unpacking the clothes, Kirinji was about to take his books and place them on the bedside table when he saw a vase with flowers in it that hadn't been there before.

“I wanted you to have something nice.”

Hiroto's voice so close against his ear, made Kirinji jump slightly, having been too caught in the sight of the flowers to pay proper attention.

“Do you like them?”

“Yes.” Of course he liked them. He just wasn't sure how to react to them since nobody had ever gotten him flowers before.

Suddenly Hiroto stood even closer behind him, chin resting on his right shoulder, while he snaked his arms around his middle, being oh so gentle with him the whole time. “I'm glad you're back home.”

Kirinji hummed in response, while his heart skipped a beat at those sweet words and leaned a little bit more back into Hiroto's warm embrace. “Me too.” He whispered and reached up with his right hand and laid it over Hiroto's hands, slowly stroking over them and then after a few moments pushing lightly against his fingers until Hiroto got the hint and moved his left hand to intertwine their fingers.

This was slowly but surely becoming his favorite thing to do, as Hiroto's hands were always so warm and gentle, making it easy to forget what else they were capable of.

Gods, he was really touch starved when it took so little to move his world, that all he wanted to do was let go and trust Hiroto to catch him.

Did he even trust him? He had never really thought about it. But the fact that he let himself be vulnerable in front of him probably meant that he did.

It was kind of amazing how little it took for him to stop keeping his guard up at all times.

Turning his head more towards Hiroto, Kirinji nudged his nose slightly against his cheek to make him turn his face more in his direction and then once he did, captured his lips in a slow kiss.

“How about I shower and then you can make good on your promise to take good care of me?”

The look on Hiroto's face, the smile blooming on it, was so very precious that it made him smile, too.

“Do you need help?”

“No, I need to do this myself...” Kirinji began, though trailed off when he saw Hiroto's face fall a bit. “Hey, don't pout.”

“I'm not―.”

The rest of Hiroto's protest was cut short by Kirinji capturing his lips in another slow kiss, seemingly catching him a little off guard if the small sound of surprise he made was anything to go by.

“I'll call you when I need help getting dressed. Okay?”

“Uh huh...” Hiroto nodded against his lips, looking and sounding a little dumbfounded by the whole exchange.

“You're cute.”

Hiroto was about to protest, having just opened his mouth when Kirinji closed the gap between them and kissed him once more, smiling into the kiss when he felt Hiroto all but melt against his lips.

Washing himself while only being able to use one arm had already been a bit of a challenge in hospital, but he had gotten quite good at it. Even drying off afterwards wasn't all that hard anymore. What was a challenge though, was looking at the slowly fading bruises and scars on his body. Part of him was glad not to remember that fight in Nameless Street all too clearly. And still...

When he closed his eyes and concentrated enough, he swore he could taste the copper on his lips or feel a metal pipe connect to his knee... his rips... his head... Or how cold and yet so burning hot the blade of Nikaido's sword had felt as it had pierced through his skin.

Taking a deep yet somewhat shaky breath, he opened his eyes again and let them wander over the once colorful landscape that had sure been in full bloom not too long ago, but had now either turned an ugly shade of yellow or had already faded completely into nothing but memories, or better, fragments of such.

Reaching up, he pushed his damp hair back and out of his face, for the first time getting a good look at the injury there. It really was going to leave a scar right along his hairline on the left side. Well, he could always brush his hair over to the left side to hide it when going out.

Sighing, he got dressed instead of wasting more time on thinking about things he couldn't change right now and then called Hiroto, so he could help him with his shirt and then help him dry his hair if he wanted.

It could've been so nice, but the moment Hiroto had taken one look at the injury on his head, the scar that was oh so visible in that moment, that he froze to the spot.

It had taken Kirinji more time than he needed to realize that Hiroto wasn't responding to him saying his name, once, twice. But once he did, his eyes widened when he saw him look so ashen. “Hiroto, what...?” He trailed off when he noticed Hiroto's hands shake slightly, which only made him curse under his breath.

“Can I touch you?”

“Uh...” Barely able to answer, Hiroto at least managed to nod and then got led over to sit on the edge of bathtub.

“It's okay. Everything's going to be okay.” Kirinji told him, doing his best to make his voice sound as soothing as he could manage, while he slowly stroked his hand up and down over Hiroto's back. “Deep breaths. Can you do that?”

He got another nod as answer, though had to stop Hiroto when he heard him make painful-sounding wheezing noises instead.

“Okay, okay... try to do it like this.” Kirinji suggested and then showed Hiroto how he should breathe to help him calm down.

He wasn't sure how long they had been in the bathroom in the end, just that at some point Hiroto had decided to pull Kirinji closer and wound his arms around him in an awkward hug as he buried his face against his stomach.

At some point Masaki knocked on the door and then carefully poked his head inside to see what was taking them so long. “Everything okay...?” He trailed off when he took in the scene in front of him, with Kirinji looking a little helpless as he slowly rubbed Hiroto's back, who still looked so very out of it. “Hiroto?!”

“He's going to be okay.” Kirinji assured Masaki, still using the same soothing tone he used to speak to Hiroto. “Guess I'm his shoulder to lean on... or maybe a wall of flesh.” He shrugged.

For some reason that made Masaki blink in surprise, needing a moment or two to snap out of his daze and then quickly crossed over to them, kneeling down in front of his brother as he looked at him with so much concern that it made Kirinji's heart ache. “Hiroto?”

Slowly, Hiroto moved his head, turning it a bit to blink at Masaki, almost as if only now realizing that he was there. “Aniki...”

“We should probably get him to bed.” Kirinji said, having moved his hand up to play with Hiroto's hair instead of rubbing his back. “Are you okay with that? Can Masaki help you lay down?”

“Uh huh... yes.”

Kirinji helped Masaki pry Hiroto's arms off of him and then stood back as Masaki helped up his brother and then led him to his bedroom where he sat him down on the bed. He, meanwhile, went to the kitchen and got a glass of water before he followed after the other two.

“Here... drink something.” He offered as he held out the glass of water which Hiroto took with a grateful smile and then took slow sips, eventually looking a little better.

“What happened?” Masaki asked Kirinji with a quiet voice, while still keeping his eyes on his brother.

“I'm not sure. I called him to help me with my shirt and then dry my hair when he suddenly froze.” Almost as if he had been caught in some memory of the past.

By now his hair had dried enough to have fallen back in his face again, hiding the scar from view.

It couldn't have been that, right?

Looking from Masaki to Hiroto and then back again, Kirinji nudged Masaki in the side to get his attention. “You should probably stay with him tonight.”

“Huh?”

Whatever had caused this, his brother was probably a better fit to comfort him.

“But...!”

“It's okay. I'll just sleep in your room tonight.” He told Masaki before he went closer to Hiroto. “Masaki will stay with you tonight. Try to sleep, okay? I'm sure you'll feel better tomorrow.” Bending down, he pressed a soft kiss to Hiroto's forehead. “Good night.”

With that, he straightened back up and wished Masaki a good night before he left the room.

This had certainly not been how he had imagined his first night back to go, he thought with a sigh as he sat down on one of the armchairs in the living room. He really wondered what had caused Hiroto to break down like that. It couldn't have been that scar, right? He knew about his head injury. So why?

He kept mulling it all over for some time, getting more and more tired before he eventually fell asleep curled up in the armchair just like that very first night he had stayed here.


	16. Chapter 16

The next morning, Kirinji woke up to a stiff neck and aching rips, and the realisation that he had fallen asleep on the armchair without him noticing.

What a great start in the day.

Rubbing his eyes and then his rips to try and soothe them a bit, he soon looked around and found the apartment so very quiet, meaning that he was most likely the first one up. Now curious, he got up and went over to Hiroto's room to see whether he and his brother were still asleep. He quietly opened the door and peaked inside, smiling at the sight that presented itself to him. Both brothers were still asleep, with Masaki holding Hiroto close from behind, while Hiroto was clinging to the arm Masaki had thrown over him. They looked so content that it made him wonder whether they had managed to resolve whatever had caused Hiroto's breakdown last night.

Carefully closing the door, Kirinji went back to the living room and sat back down on one of the armchairs, still not fully awake yet, though didn't want to turn on the TV and instead picked up his phone and scrolled through the newsfeed. At some point, he wondered whether he could bring up asking them to buy a couch as it would be nice if he could also have a fixed place to sit at instead of one of the chairs from the kitchen table. Plus, a couch would be more comfortable to sleep on, not that he minded sleeping on the armchair since he had slept in worse places. Then again, he should probably not use the whole sleeping thing in his argument as the other two would most likely get the wrong idea.

Letting his phone rest in his lap, Kirinji closed his eyes and rubbed at his still aching rips instead, all while trying and failing to ignore the feeling of nausea that was slowly creeping up on him. He hadn't eaten much yesterday, which was probably the main reason he wasn't feeling all too well right now. He really shouldn't let that become a habit, especially since his injuries were still healing.

He had been so lost in thought that he only noticed that he was no longer the only one awake, when he heard Masaki wish him a good morning.

Kirinji stopped rubbing at his rips at once as his eyes snapped open and turned his head to see not just Masaki but also Hiroto being awake and look at him with questioning eyes.

“Everything okay?” Masaki asked as he came close.

“Yeah, rips just bother me a bit.”

“Ah! I'll get you the pain meds!” Masaki nodded and was about to run off when he was stopped by Kirinji.

“I should probably eat something first.” Or else he would really throw up, not that much would come up, but the mere thought of taking any medication on an empty stomach just made him feel all the worse.

Masaki stopped in his tracks as if to consider that before he finally nodded. “Okay, breakfast is it then. Give me a minute, I'll get right to it.” With that he went over to his own bedroom to change clothes.

Meanwhile, Hiroto came closer and knelt down by Kirinji's side and after a moment or two of just looking at him, he carefully took his right hand into his, while he used his free hand to rub at his rips for him, being so gentle that Kirinji was certain that had he actually been a cat, he would've purred at the touch.

“Better?”

“Shouldn't I be the one asking that?” Kirinji wondered, using the exact same gentle and soothing tone he had used last night when he had tried to comfort Hiroto. “Are you feeling better since...?” He glanced briefly over to the bathroom, hoping Hiroto would understand.

Hiroto blinked in surprise when he heard that soothing tone come out of Kirinji's mouth, though soon smiled warmly at him. “Yes, much.”

Kirinji watched Hiroto carefully the whole time, considering his reply as he recalled just how out of it he had looked last night. It was true that he looked better today. Then again, that was the wonder of sleep, curing you of all the bad things if you just let it work its magic.

He was about to answer when Masaki came back out of his room, wearing a mixture of confusion and concern on his face. “ _Where_ exactly did you sleep last night? And don't say my room because my bed looks untouched.”

“Uhh...” Looking from Hiroto to Masaki and back again, he saw them both now look at him with concern. “Here. And before you say anything, I really didn't mean to. I had just wanted to sit down for a few minutes and only realized I'd fallen asleep when I woke up earlier.”

Masaki sighed at that, seemingly not believing what he was hearing. “You just got out of hospital.”

“I know.”

“You just got over a fever not a week ago.”

“I know.”

Masaki sighed even louder and then buried his face in his hands, while making a soft whining noise in the back of his throat. “I can't believe this.” Taking a deep breath, he eventually looked back up, a defeated look on is face. “Do you want me to go grey before my time?”

No, of course not. “I'm sorry.”

“ _We're_ sorry.” Hiroto corrected Kirinji.

“Huh?” Now both Kirinji and Masaki turned to stare at Hiroto, both looking as if neither could understand what Hiroto was talking about.

“It was my fault he slept out here.”

“Wait...” Kirinji started, but was stopped when he felt Hiroto give his hand he was still holding a gentle squeeze.

“ _I_ was so stupid and freaked out, and he just wanted to make sure I was okay by having you sleep in my room. So, _please_ don't be mad at him?”

Masaki's eyes widened as he listened to his brother's words, though the real finishing blow was Hiroto's expression morphing into a begging pout while his eyes grew impossible large, so very similar to the one Masaki always used.

Oh god...

He just knew that should Hiroto use _that_ look, he would combust on the spot, and now he actually saw just that happen in real time, he felt his face heat up so much that even his ears felt hot.

_Shit! Shit! Shit!_

Just the way Hiroto looked at his brother as he gazed up from under his lashes, while his lips looked so impossibly inviting and... maybe even more than that... He looked like a sin.

He was so done for.

“O-okay...” Masaki nodded as if in a daze, seemingly also caught in the impossible display his brother put on. “I'll make us breakfast now.”

While Masaki went to the kitchen, a stupid smile on his face and looking as if he was high, Hiroto finally turned his attention back towards Kirinji and winked at him.

“Don't worry, I've got your back.”

“Uh huh...”

Yes, he was so done for.

Hiroto quickly looked over to the kitchen and saw Masaki busy while making breakfast, before he did something Kirinji hadn't counted on him doing, ever. A moment later, he moved up from the floor and climbed onto the armchair, all but straddling Kirirnji's lap, who now leaned back against the armrest with his upper body, still staring at Hiroto with wide eyes and parted lips.

“I'll make it up to you tonight.” Hiroto murmured, his begging pout now having morphed into a playful smile, a sight that wasn't all that better for his heart.

Before Kirinji could respond though, Hiroto braced himself with one arm on the armchair's headrest as he leaned down and captured Kirinji's lips in a deep kiss, causing his eyes to flutter closed as he leaned even further back while Hiroto chased after his lips and deepened the kiss even more that way.

He wasn't going to survive this, was the last thought running through Kirinji's mind before he felt Hiroto let go of his hand, he had been holding onto until now, and instead sneaked it under his shirt, slowly roaming over his stomach and causing goosebumps to rise all over his skin. The feeling of that warm hand against his skin, that was slowly running warmer with each passing moment, _that_ almost made him moan. But before he could let go completely, let himself fall, he reached up with his right hand and held onto Hiroto's arm, squeezing gently.

They shouldn't do this here, not when Masaki was only a couple of feet away.

Eventually, Hiroto got the hint and broke the kiss, leaving them both breathless and red in the face.

“Tonight... I'll kiss you till you moan.” Hiroto murmured against his lips, while he gazed at him from under his lashes again.

His warm breath dancing over Kirinji's skin, made him shiver and nod dumbly. If he kept looking at him like that, he wasn't just going to moan for him, he was going to fall apart before he even knew it.

* * *

Breakfast happened in silence, while Kirinji was mostly busy not to let his mind wander off and jump right into the gutter.

“What should we do today?” Masaki asked after he was done with washing the dishes.

“Uhh...” Kirinji thought it over for a bit, while taking some of the pain meds for his still aching rips. “I should probably go to my apartment and move my belongings over here.”

That made both brothers stop and stare.

“What?”

“Uhh, we weren't sure where exactly you lived and since you never said anything...” Masaki trailed off with a shrug.

Slowly shaking his head, Kirinji didn't say anything to that. “You don't have to come. It's not much anyway―.”

“Nono!” Masaki quickly shook his head. “Of course we'll come and help you. Right?” He turned towards Hiroto who nodded.

“Is it far from here?”

“No... not really.”

They had taken the bus again, though, this time the Amamiyas didn't look as uncomfortable as the last time. Maybe if they did this a couple times more, they would actually enjoy this as much as Kirinji did.

“This... is White Rascal territory, isn't it?” Masaki wondered as they got off the bus and looked around.

“Yes. But I was here before they claimed it.” Kirinji grinned. This had been his home even before Mugen had been formed, so in a way he didn't care all that much whose land this was.

He led them through the streets until they came to a small and old-looking building. “It's right up there.” He told them and then climbed up the stairs to the second floor, there he walked along the gallery until they reached the last door on that floor. Taking a deep breath, he unlocked the front door and then let them inside.

This was the first time he ever brought anyone here. Not even Masato or Kizzy had ever made it this far.

Toeing off his shoes and leaving them by the door, he went further inside. It really wasn't much, just a small one-room apartment with a tiny kitchen and an smaller bathroom. It wasn't even cluttered, really, just sparsely furnished with a futon laying folded up in one corner and a low wooden table standing by one of the two windows.

“Well, this is it.”

Masaki and Hiroto didn't say anything for a long while, only looking around the place with unreadable expressions on their faces.

“This looks even sadder than the place where Aniki lived.” Hiroto whispered to Masaki who could only nod in agreement.

“Hey, I know it's not much, but it's all I needed.” Kirinji told them, causing both brothers to whirl around and look at him sheepishly. He wasn't even mad, just a little amused at their reaction.

Walking over to the closet with both Amamiyas trailing behind him, he bit his lip when he opened it to show them the rest of his belongings.

“What is this?” Masaki breathed out in absolute disbelief as he stared at the collection of clothes that presented itself to them.

“My clothes.” Kirinji shrugged, trying and failing to downplay the wild mixture of a wide variety of patterned shirts, most of them with flowers on them, right next to a couple of dark suits and plain white or black dress shirts, while off to the side hung a leather jacket with a fur collar and a couple of other jackets and coats.

“You can't be serious...” Masaki went on as he looked through it all. He and Hiroto had thought that the dark red shirt with the embroidered flowers on it was a one-time thing, but as it was now, this actually seemed to be a pattern.

“You can say whatever you want, I've already heard it all.” Kirinji shrugged as he watched Masaki with amusement. “I have no taste. How I could possibly be an adult when I dress like that. That there had to be something wrong with my eyes or my head. Once I was asked if I was actually a tourist.”

Masaki could only stare and nod along with Kirinji's list of things people had told him in the past, seemingly thinking the same.

“I don't think they're that bad.” Hiroto said suddenly, causing both Kirinji and Masaki to turn and stare at him.

“What...?” Masaki began, not believing what he was hearing.

“I mean, some is a little bit gaudy, but overall I think it will probably suit him. Why else should he own so many?”

“A little bit...?” Masaki whispered to himself, though trailed off when he saw Kirinji smile brightly at Hiroto.

“You really think it's not that bad?”

“No.” Hiroto shook his head. “I mean, I will have to see you wear them first, but I've seen people wear worse.”

Nobody had ever told him that. And as silly as it sounded, it made him feel all warm and happy.

Crossing over to stand right in front of Hiroto, Kirinji smiled up at him and looked as if Hiroto had hung the moon and stars.

“Uhm, I'm still here...” Masaki tried, but it quickly became clear that he wasn't being heard, as both his brother and Kirinji smiled at each other in a way that looked as if they were in love, for the lack of a better word.

* * *

It didn't take long to pack everything together. The clothes had all fit inside two bags, even leaving enough room for his laptop, and a few other things from the kitchen and bathroom. The only trouble to transport would be the low wooden table and the futon. They could hardly bring them with them on the bus.

“I'll just go and rent us a car.” Kirinji said eventually, interrupting the Amamiyas' discussion on the matter. Not waiting for their protests, he left them and went down the street to the car rental.

Before going inside, he removed the sling from his arm and pulled the long sleeve of his shirt just a little bit more over his left arm to hide the bandage, while carefully holding it close against his body. He knew it was a risk and utterly stupid, but he also knew that he would never get a car with an obvious injury.

It didn't take long before he came back with a small van that was big enough to transport everything in.

“Are you really sure about this?” Masaki asked after they had put everything in the back of the van.

“You can take the bus back if you want.” Kirinji shrugged as he got inside the car, wearing the sling around his arm again since he didn't need the brothers berating him.

He saw Masaki and Hiroto share a long look before they finally joined him, with Masaki sitting in the back while Hiroto was riding shotgun.

“Just so you know, I'm a very good driver.” Kirinji told them as he started the car. Besides, this wasn't the first time he was behind the wheel while injured. He knew his limits though. Not that he would tell the other two about this since he didn't need them to be even more nervous than they already seemed to be.

The drive home was in silence, mostly because Kirinji concentrated on the road, while Masaki and Hiroto still looked way too nervous to try and strike up a conversation.

Once they arrived home and Kirinji had parked the car, Masaki couldn't hold back a sigh of relief.

“You're unbelievable.” Kirinji told him, though didn't sound mad, but actually amused. “You fought Mugen and Kuryu, but the moment you're inside a car with me, you act as if you're about to die.”

“Sorry.” Masaki bowed his head.

Kirinji could only shake his head, though was smiling a bit while doing so. “C'mon, let's bring everything up.”

* * *

“So, are you brave enough to come with me when I bring back the car or do you wanna stay here instead?” Kirinji asked Masaki and Hiroto two hours later after they had unpacked everything.

The low wooden table now stood in the living room in front of the TV, while the futon had found a new home in Masaki's closet, while Kirinji's clothes all fit quite snugly on the empty side inside Hiroto's closet.

“We'll come with you.” Hiroto answered for both Masaki and himself while looking over to his brother, who eventually nodded.

“You two are so cute.” Kirinji muttered under his breath, sounding entirely too amused with the situation, while not realizing what he had said until the words had made it out of his mouth.

Wait... That sounded as if he was actually fond of them. He was, wasn't he? Over the last couple of weeks, he had slowly come to realize that he liked them both, really liked them. And the more time he spent with the brothers, the more certain he became that he had never felt that happy and at ease around anyone else before. Sure, there were certain things they didn't know about his past and he would cross that bridge when the time came, but right now, he knew that those two were important to him and he liked them, a lot.

Before they returned the car, they went to the municipal office and changed his address, something they should've done sooner.

The whole time while there, Kirinji noticed that the brothers trailed after him as if they were puppies or children. It was cute in a way, and only a tiny bit unnerving. It made him wonder whether they had been like that with Takeru, but soon stopped this train of thought going down that route because it would only give him a headache and a guilty conscience.

Once done with that, he left them waiting in the car, while he went to his landlord to handle the termination of his lease agreement. It was a little like a life coming to an end since he had lived in that small apartment for so long, almost half his life.

The moment he was back inside the car, he needed a moment to calm his nerves, grateful that the other two didn't comment on him looking tired. They probably thought that it had been a long and taxing day for him, and in a way they were right. In that moment, the only thing that made him not want to crawl in bed and sleep, was Hiroto's promise to make him feel good. He really was his sunshine.

* * *

“Say... should we get a couch?” Kirinji asked after dinner that night, sitting sideways cuddled close on Hiroto's lap with his head resting on his shoulder as they watched TV.

He hadn't minded sitting on one of the kitchen chairs again, so when Hiroto actually grabbed him and pulled him to sit on his lap, he didn't fight it at all and instead just leaned closer with a content sigh.

Masaki looked from the TV over to them, barely able to hide his amused smile as he watched them look so content and happy. “We could do that... but you two look pretty happy like that.”

“Are you jealous?” Hiroto wondered, sounding amused as he carefully hugged Kirinji just little bit closer.

“A little.”

Kirinji followed their conversation in silence, while smiling to himself. Maybe Masaki was right, while a couch would be nice, this was even nicer. He could really get used to this, living a peaceful life together with those two.

Nuzzling his head against Hiroto's neck, he soon felt his lips pressed against his forehead, which made him smile and hum in response.

“Tired?”

“Hmm... a bit.”

“Wanna go to bed then?”

That sounded nice and he was about to agree when he remembered _that_ promise and smiled instead.

Apparently, his reaction was enough information for Hiroto because the next moment he told Masaki that they would go to bed and then pulled Kirinji after him to his room without waiting for an answer from his brother.

Kirinji had barely enough time to react once the bedroom door was closed because the next moment Hiroto's lips were on his, kissing him with so much passion that it made him feel a little lightheaded. Not breaking the kiss, he was moved over to the bed, slowly walking backwards until he felt his legs hit the mattress and then sat down with a breathless gasp.

He should probably tell Hiroto about that list the doctor had given him yesterday, explain to him that he actually wasn't allowed to do anything too strenuous. But before he could manage to get the words out, he found Hiroto straddling his lap again, just like he had this morning, and then he was kissed once more, again with so much passion that he could barely keep up with it.

“W-wait...” Kirinji breathed against Hiroto's lips, hating himself for having to stop him, especially now that he had his hands under his shirt again, but he was actually feeling dizzy now. “Please wait...”

“Huh? Don't you want to?”

Oh gods, he did. He wanted this so badly.

“I... I'm feeling a little bit dizzy... and not in the good way.” He breathed out and then felt the world tilt as he fell back against the bed.

Oh, this wasn't good.

He felt Hiroto immediately shift off of him and then him move him further up to the bed until he laid properly against the pillows. Closing his eyes for a moment or two, he must've passed out for a bit because the next thing he knew was a cool cloth being placed over his forehead, making him sigh.

Okay, this felt nice.

“I'm sorry.”

Moving his head a little bit to the side to look properly at Hiroto, Kirinji saw him gaze back at him with so much concern but also guilt written all over his face.

“Not your fault... should've told you sooner.”

“Hmm? What do you mean?”

Shifting a little until he laid on his right side, he reached out and tugged on Hiroto's shirt to make him lay down besides him.

“Doctor told me not to do anything too strenuous for a bit... because my head injury is still healing.”

The expression on Hiroto's face just got even darker and even more clouded with guilt at that. “I'm sorry.”

“It's not your fault.” It really wasn't. He wasn't the one who had injured him. And that just now, he wasn't going to hold that against him. No. Once he was feeling better, he so wanted to see where this would lead and what exactly was on Hiroto's mind.

“May I...?” Hiroto began as he slowly reached up with one hand, though stopped before he could touch Kirinji's head.

“Sure.” He whispered and then watched Hiroto slowly brush his hair back and out of his face until he was certain the scar on the side of his head was visible again. His heart was beating a mile a minute, while a not so small part of him was scared that Hiroto would freeze again, just like last night. But it never came.

“May I...?” Hiroto asked again, eyes fixated on the scar.

“Mmm, of course.”

“Does it hurt?” Hiroto asked as he lightly and oh so carefully brushed his fingertips along the scar, not really touching it.

“No... not anymore.”

“I'm glad.” With that, Hiroto moved closer and then brushed his lips over Kirinji's forehead, seemingly not daring to touch the scar.

They were silent after that, just laying besides each other, while Hiroto held onto Kirinji's right arm with both of his, similar to how he had done with his brother this morning.

“I'm sorry I scared you last night.”

“Hmm?”

“When I freaked out like that in the bathroom.” Hiroto clarified with a heavy sigh, eyes cast down to the arm he was more or less clinging to. “I'm not entirely sure why, but when I saw that scar I... I was suddenly reminded of Aniki... Takeru, I mean.”

Oh. Okay, that was certainly a bit jump to make, but it probably made sense to Hiroto's mind to do so.

“He died in my arms.”

Those words left Kirinji feel so utterly cold as he stared back at Hiroto with wide eyes.

“I'm sorry.” He heard himself whisper back, only realizing that he had said it when he saw Hiroto's eyes first widen and then soften, a small smile slowly blooming on his lips.

“Why are you apologizing? You weren't involved in that.”

“I know... it's just...”

“Because you care?”

Kirinji blinked in surprise, mouth opening and closing for several moments before he eventually nodded. He did.

Hiroto's smile grew more at that. “Thank you.”


	17. Chapter 17

Three days later, Kirinji thought he might scream at some point due to how ridiculous Hiroto and Masaki were acting.

He should've known that Hiroto would talk with his brother about him not being allowed to do anything too strenuous for a while, but how things were now, was not something he had been prepared for.

They didn't let him do anything around the house. And anytime he so much as yawned or had to sit down for a moment or two, one of them was immediately by his side and asked whether he was okay or if he needed anything.

He wasn't made out of glass! Besides, this wasn't the first time he was injured, albeit it was the first time he was this hurt.

He wasn't even sure why he was so on edge about this. Neither men pushed him for more information about his health than he was willing to give. If he told them that he was okay, then they believed him and offered him a smile in return.

So why?

He could dress himself. He had gotten quite good at that with only one functioning arm at the moment. And still, both brothers insisted on helping him whenever they saw him struggle for more than a couple of moments.

At least they didn't try to cut his food for him and feed him. Then again, they didn't have to since Masaki only seemed to cook dishes he could eat with a spoon since apparently chopsticks were not an option right now.

It was absolutely ridiculous and almost drove him up the wall.

He wasn't a child for god's sake! He could take care of himself. He had done so for a very long time.

But wasn't that the thing, the little voice in the back of his mind snickered. He actually had people who cared about him in his life now. He had people who liked him enough to worry about him and rush to his side to make sure he was okay. People who didn't demand anything in return. _No_ , that wasn't true. The one thing they wanted in return, was them knowing that he was doing well.

The realisation left him reeling and he needed to sit down. Thank goodness, neither brother was there to witness him being stupid as they had gone out to go grocery shopping.

For the first time in his life, he had people who genuinely cared about him and his well-being.

Was that why he was on edge about this? Because he didn't know how to handle being treated that way? Yes, that sounded exactly like him.

He was so lost in thought, that it took him a couple of moments to realize that he had a new message on his phone. Eventually, he managed to pull himself enough out of his daze to check his phone, surprised when he saw that it was a picture Kohaku had sent him. And it wasn't just any picture, it showed Rin sunbathing and looking so very adorable while doing so.

A few moments later, he received another message, also by Kohaku, telling him that he hoped he liked the picture he'd sent.

He did, he replied. He liked that picture a lot if he was completely honest. It actually made him smile and feel calm and just for a moment forget about his own stupid issues.

He wasn't sure what had made his fingers move, but before he knew it he had asked Kohaku if he had more pictures of Rin.

It took a bit, almost a minute before he got a reply, another picture of the feline, this time she was chasing a string someone out of frame was moving. It looked even cuter and made him smile all the more.

Then, he received another picture showing Rin with her legs tucked under herself and looking like a little loaf of bread.

She's adorable, Kirinji wrote Kohaku.

This time he didn't get a reply. And for a moment, he felt his heart sink for some odd reason, wondering whether he had said the wrong thing to make Kohaku stop. That was until he saw that Kohaku was actually calling him.

“Hello?”

“Are you okay?” Kohaku asked instead of greeting him.

“Of course I'm okay. Why do you ask?”

His answer must've sounded not as convincing as he'd thought it would be because he could actually hear Kohaku sigh on the other end of the line. “You've never said that Rin is adorable.”

That was true. But that didn't mean that he didn't like the cat. He had jeopardized his health for her.

“I'm just being stupid right now.”

“Did something happen?” And gods, did Kohaku sound concerned.

He had realized that he didn't have to do everything alone, that he wasn't on his own anymore, but had people who really, _genuinely_ cared for him. But that was a thought he couldn't possibly share with Kohaku, nor anyone else for that matter. They would only think he had lost his mind.

“I'm making them worry.” Kirinji said instead, hating how weary he sounded to his own ears.

“Then stop being snappish.”

“Huh?”

He could hear Kohaku smile at his confusion. “Do you honestly think that we're not talking about you?”

_What?_

“I... I don't know... No?”

Now, Kohaku was actually laughing, though it didn't sound mocking, but genuinely amused in a kind way.

“You really are just like a cat, a stray cat.”

“I'm not a cat.” Kirinji replied with a flat voice, sounding just so very tired of this.

“Maybe...” Kohaku answered, still sounding amused. “Masaki and Hiroto told me that you were a bit on edge the last couple of days. I guess this has to do with you being stupid, right?”

“Yes...” Kirinji nodded, not that Kohaku could actually see it over the phone. “I'm not used to being coddled.”

“Do you actually want me to repeat myself and call you a cat again?”

“No...” He knew he was acting stupid. “I'm screwing it up, don't I? That chance you gave me...”

“Don't be ridiculous. You're allowed to make mistakes. You're only human. Besides, going by what you've told me, you already know that your behaviour is causing those two to worry.”

Kirinji was silent after that for the longest time, still stuck on the idea that he was allowed to make mistakes and not immediately being punished for them. Working for Iemura had only made things worse it seemed when he actually needed someone to point out the obvious to him.

“Are you still there?” Kohaku asked after a bit, again sounding concerned.

“Yes... yes, I am.”

“Even if you're not used to being coddled, as you put it, it was to be expected that those two would worry about you after everything that happened. We all are, y'know.”

“I know that now.” He wasn't stupid. It was just a lot to take in and ultimately to come to terms with, especially after all those years of not having the luxury of actually daring to trust someone, _anyone_ really.

“Have you tried talking to them about this?”

Apparently Kirinji's silence on the matter was answer enough because he could hear Kohaku sigh again.

“I promise you that they won't be mad at you if you tell them that they're overdoing it. Trust me, okay? They like you a lot.”

“They just need to tone it down a bit...” Kirinji said quietly, more to himself than Kohaku.

“Oh? So you actually like it as long as they don't overdo it?”

Part of him hated how amused Kohaku sounded by his confession. Still, he nodded to himself. “Yes.”

“Try talking to them, okay?”

“... I will.”

“Good boy.”

Hearing Kohaku call him that, made Kirinji's eyes go wide, and he was, again, grateful that he couldn't see him in that moment because his face had gone quite red.

“Can you send me more pictures of Rin?” He asked once he had managed to catch himself.

“Sure.”

* * *

Eventually, it got so late that Kirinji became more and more worried, wondering just where the other two were so long. He was about to grab his jacket and go out to search for them when he got a message from Masaki, telling him that they were on their way back home now and that they had a surprise for him. Staring at his phone for several long moments, Kirinji was ready to snap back at them for scaring him like that and that he didn't need anything with the exception of knowing that they were safe. But in the end, he couldn't bring himself to do that, not with that conversation with Kohaku still lingering in the back of mind, nor when Masaki's message sounded so happy. And so he wrote him back that he would wait for them by the door.

Half an hour later, Masaki was the first one back, greeting him with a smile and an one-arm hug before he handed over the bags with the groceries.

“Where's Hiroto?”

“Outside.” Masaki grinned. “C'mon, I'll show you.”

Kirinji put the bags with the groceries on the counter and then let Masaki all but shove him outside, unable to ignore the stupid smile on his face. Just what was going on?

He got his answer soon enough because no sooner than him having taken a couple of steps outside the front door, he saw Hiroto cursing under his breath while he tried to hold up a small couch to prevent it from slipping down the stairs.

“Get back here and help!” He hissed at Masaki.

“W-wait... What is this?”

“You said you wanted a couch.” Masaki smiled as he patted him on the right shoulder before he went around him to go and finally help Hiroto.

Yes, he had said that, but that didn't mean that they had to go and fulfill that wish for him.

“Can I help you?”

“Just hold the door open.” Masaki nodded and then turned back to Hiroto as he gave him a nod to start carrying the couch inside their apartment.

It didn't take long before they had the couch carried inside, though stopped again close by the front door because Masaki ran off to move the two armchairs a bit more out of the way.

While he did that, Hiroto turned to Kirinji and leaned down to kiss him on the lips as greeting. “Hello.”

“Hello.” Kirinji breathed out, still perplexed by them buying a couch just because he had asked for one.

Masaki soon joined them and then together with Hiroto carried the couch all the way inside to stand between the two armchairs, while Kirinji closed the front door.

He couldn't believe this, he sighed inwardly. He had been acting completely obnoxious and snappish the last couple of days, behaving as if he really was no better than a hissing cat, and those two were still so kind to him. He really didn't deserve them.

Walking over to them, he finally looked over the new couch, a small smile on his lips when he noticed that even though it wasn't very big, it was still big enough that they could all three sit on it.

“What do you say?” Masaki grinned, visibly giddy.

“It looks great.” Kirinji nodded, smiling even more now as he let his eyes wander over the beige couch. “Thank you.”

“It's extendable.” Hiroto smiled back, looking just as relieved as Masaki did when he heard that Kirinji liked their purchase.

“How did you get it here?” He really hoped they hadn't carried it all the way here.

“We had it delivered.” Masaki said matter-of-fact while shrugging, almost as if that was the obvious thing to do.

“But not all the way up here because you wanted it to be a surprise.” Hiroto said with a flat voice as he glared half-heartedly at his brother.

“You agreed to it.”

“That was before I had to hold it up on my own.”

Kirinji looked from one brother to the other, barely able to stop himself from laughing because they were arguing again over something so silly.

“I really like it, so thank you.” He told them while smiling.

A moment later, he walked over to Masaki and grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him down to kiss him on the cheek, causing his eyes to widen before he reached up and touched his cheek, a stupid, happy smile on his face.

Smiling to himself when he saw Masaki's reaction, Kirinji glanced over to Hiroto and saw him stare at them with wide eyes. “Don't be jealous.” He told him when he crossed over to him and then also grabbed him by the front of his shirt. “I like you _a lot_ more.” He whispered to Hiroto before he kissed him hard on the lips.

* * *

“I'm sorry about the last couple of days.” Kirinji told them after dinner, the three of them laying on the couch, having extended it, so they could try it out together.

“What do you mean?” Masaki asked as he hugged one of the throw pillows they had bought together with the couch. He laid on Kirinji's right side since Hiroto had insisted on staying on his left, being oh so careful with his arm.

“I...” Kirinji began and then stopped to take a deep breath, deciding to be honest with them, no matter how foolish he would look in the process. “I'm not used to having people genuinely care for me.”

Hiroto and Masaki didn't say anything to that, though shared a long look, Kirinji didn't dare to read, in case he would see pity in their eyes. He wasn't sure he would be able to handle that on top of everything else.

“For the longest time, I was on my own and I...” He trailed off to take another deep breath. “I don't know how to handle it when you're so kind and caring... I'm sorry I'm stupid and an idiot.”

Hiroto and Masaki shared another look before they turned on their sides to face Kirinji, both of them looking amused.

“You're our stupid idiot.” Masaki grinned as he playfully nudged Kirinji with his leg, causing him to blink in surprise and then smile at him in relief.

“We kind of overdid it a bit, didn't we?” Hiroto whispered against his ear.

“I now know why you did it.” Kirinji turned his head towards Hiroto, smiling still. “Besides, you only meant well. I'm the idiot who had issues with it.”

“Should we stop then, even though we're still worried about you?”

“Just tone it down a bit.”

Hearing that, Masaki leaned even closer so that he leaned with his head against Kirinji's. “You're cute.”

While Kirinji felt his face heat up at hearing those words, Hiroto rolled his eyes and lightly kicked his brother in the leg.

“ _You're_ not cute.” He sighed and turned to lay on his back.

“You're mean.” Masaki whined as he also turned on his back again, still clutching the throw pillow to his chest.

Looking between the two of them, Kirinji soon began to laugh softly to himself. “You're both cute.” He let out a content sigh and then let his head loll to the side to rest it against Hiroto's. “I'm glad you're my family.” He whispered very quietly to himself after closing his eyes.

He didn't see the brothers smiling at that, nor Masaki turning back on his side and ready to throw one arm and leg over Kirinji, nor Hiroto kicking not so gently Masaki's leg away while also pushing his arm away.


	18. Chapter 18

“Are you sure you'll be alright while we're away?”

“Yes, Masaki, I'm sure.” Kirinji nodded, doing his best not to roll his eyes at Masaki's concern. He knew he meant well, but he was still overdoing it even days after their conversation about this exact topic. “And before you ask, yes, I'm sure that I'll have enough food.”

Getting up from the kitchen chair he'd sat on, he went over to the fridge and opened it. “You've cooked enough to last me a week, even though you said that you'll only be away for a day or two.”

“I just want to make sure.” Masaki pouted slightly.

Meanwhile, Hiroto could barely keep it together as he tried hard not to start laughing at his brother. Usually it was the other way around, so seeing him be on the receiving end of teasing was really refreshing and hilarious.

“I know you do.” Kirinji sighed and closed the fridge. “I promise I'll be fine. Just go and do your job.”

“Okay.” Masaki nodded.

“We'll call when we're on our way back home.” Hiroto told Kiirnji who smiled in response.

“Be careful, okay?”

“We will.” Both Hiroto and Masaki promised at the same time, causing Kirinji to giggle. They really were cute when they did that.

And then the brothers were off, leaving him alone in the apartment for the first time since he had gotten injured. Back then (before all of this), the quiet apartment had felt almost suffocating, now though it only felt lonely.

There wasn't much to do since Masaki had cleaned the place the other day right after cooking so much food that they could live comfortably off of it for days. He was such a mother hen sometimes.

He still had a little bit of time to kill before he needed to head out to go to the hospital for the first check up on his arm. So going to the bedroom, he looked through the pictures he had printed out the other day, smiling to himself at how cute most of them were. He put them in a small bag and then got dressed. There were a couple of things he needed to see to before going to the hospital.

* * *

The check up was over quicker than the last time, which was honestly a relief since he couldn't wait to get away from the doctor's probing hands and those terrible machines that only made him anxious. He couldn't help the sigh of relief when he was being told that his arm continued to heal nicely, while his head injury also looked to be in a good condition.

After thanking the doctor, he didn't immediately go home, no, he went to the ward Smokey stayed at. The nurses there still remembered him, which made him feel a little bit weird since he didn't think he had left that much of an impression on the medical staff, other than being his obnoxious self though to a lesser degree than usual.

Walking down the corridor, he was close to Smokey's room when he heard a familiar voice calling out to him. He stopped walking and then turned around, seeing Eri run towards him with a happy smile on her face. It was a first to see that kind of reaction by anyone, then again she barely knew him.

“Hello! Did you come visit?”

“Hello.” Kirinji nodded, smiling a bit. “Uh huh, I wanna see how Smokey is doing.”

Upon seeing her come closer, he immediately noticed her looking a bit healthier than the last time. Whatever medications those doctors were given them, it seemed to work. Now he really wanted to see whether Smokey would also look better.

Eri took his hand with little hesitation, while still smiling. “I'm glad! I think he's a little lonely...”

“Huh? Doesn't his sister and his friends come visit?” He knew from Kohaku that they were all busy with rebuilding Nameless Street, but he really hoped they were still coming by to visit Smokey.

“They do!” Eri nodded repeatedly, suddenly looking at him with a serious expression on her face. “I think he misses Rin.”

Weridly enough, part of him actually wondered whether Eri just meant the cat or also him. But that couldn't be, right? It was definitely just the cat.

“But now you're here.”

Or not...

Choosing to ignore her phrasing her answer like that, he turned briefly in the direction of Smokey's room before he focused back on Eri. “Is Smokey in his room?”

“Yes! Should I tell him that you're here?”

“Sure.”

Smiling again, Eri gently tugged on his hand and then pulled him after her to Smokey's room.

“Wait here, okay?” She asked once they'd arrived.

“Of course.”

It was just like the last time, with Eri knocking on Smokey's door and then waited for him to tell her to come in before he opened the door and slipped in to the room. This time, however, it didn't take long before the door opened again and he came face-to-face with Smokey who looked at him with a wide-eyed expression that was an odd mixture of surprise and happiness.

Wait... Did he actually miss him?

“You need to say hello.” Eri prompted Smokey when it became clear he would continue to stare if not stopped.

“Uhh right... Hello.”

Not able to hide his amusement at the odd situation, Kirinji smirked at Smokey. “Hello.”

They were interrupted by Eri giggling as she looked back and forth between them and then lightly tugged on Smokey's shirt to get his attention. “Ask him to come inside.”

“Uhh yes...” Smokey looked down to Eri and nodded before he opened the door a bit more and stepped aside to allow Kirinji to enter the room.

“You should tell him that you missed him.” Eri leaned up to whisper to Smokey, though was still loud enough for Kirinji to hear.

“Did you now?” Kirinji raised an eyebrow, looking and sounding so very amused by this development.

Smokey's reaction was immediate, his eyes going wide as he stared back at Kirinji.

“Relax, I'm just teasing you.”

Despite his words, Smokey was still staring at Kirinji with wide eyes, making him look stupidly young.

“You should probably stop teasing him, too.” Kirinji shifted his gaze from Smokey to look at Eri who looked a little startled by his words and then actually blushed.

Huh, such a cute kid.

Closing the door behind him, Kirinji went further in to the room and then sat his bag down on one of the chairs before he rummaged through it, while Smokey and Eri slowly came closer, seemingly curious to see what he was searching for. They got their answer soon enough when Kirinji pulled out a small grey plush cat which he handed to Eri, who first stared at it for a very long time as if not knowing what this was before she eventually smiled widely, looking so very happy.

“Thank you!” She beamed and then hugged him, though was careful with his left arm.

Kirinji had to do his best not to freeze at the hug, even though part of him had expected it, albeit not like this.

“Look how cute!” Eri told Smokey as she showed him the plush toy, smiling still.

“It really is.” Smokey nodded, looking torn between happiness and surprise.

“I'll go and show the others, okay?”

“Do that.”

With that, Eri ran out of the room, leaving Kirinji and Smokey alone.

“Don't worry. I've got one for you, too.” Kirinji smirked and then handed Smokey an identical grey plush cat.

Smokey's reaction was even better as he continued to stare at the plush cat even longer than Eri had done, looking at it as if he didn't understand why he was given one.

“Why...?” He breathed out eventually, still sounding so very shocked over the gift.

Because he had thought that had he only bought one, Smokey would've given it to Eri sooner than later. In the end, he didn't voice that thought though and instead pulled a book out of his bag.

“Eri said you missed Rin.” Kirinji shrugged as if that would explain the whole plush toy matter and then handed Smokey the book.

Smokey blinked in surprise at being given yet another gift. “Night on the Galactic Railroad...?” He read the title, only now realizing that it was by the same author as all the other books he had seen Kirinji read during his stay in hospital.

“It can get lonely here.” Kirinji shrugged again when he saw the dumbstruck expression on Smokey's face.

“Thank you... really.” Smokey answered eventually, slowly going over to his bed and sat down. The plush cat was still in his arms as he opened the book to look at it properly, though promptly gasped in surprise when he saw what surprise was inside.

“Kohaku took them for me.” Kirinji explained when he saw Smokey stare at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. “She seems to be doing well. That's good, right?”

“Yes... yes, it is.” Smokey nodded, a happy smile slowly spreading over his face as he looked back at the pictures of Rin, Kirinji had placed inside the book.

Kirinji continued to watch Smokey as he looked through the pictures, curious to see his reaction to the last two pictures of the pile.

“This...!” Smokey gasped once more when he saw the last two pictures, one of Lala holding up Rin while smiling for the camera, while the other showed them together with the rest of Rude Boys.

“Kohaku said that they all miss you, but since you can't be with them right now, this might be the next best thing.”

By now, Smokey looked as if he was close to crying, eyes shining with unshed tears as he looked at Kirinji with an expression that looked suspiciously like an odd mixture of gratitude and adoration.

“Thank you... thank you so much!”

Smokey's words of thanks had to be expected, but not the tight hug that made Kirinji gasp in surprise. His rips were mostly healed by now, which meant that the weird feeling in his chest wasn't that, but... Happiness?

It took more than a minute before Smokey seemed to realize that he should probably let go, which he did with a sigh. “Sorry...” He whispered and bowed his head a bit.

Kirinji wasn't sure what to reply, not used to being hugged like that by someone who wasn't Hiroto or Masaki. In the end, he reached up and gave Smokey an awkward pat on the shoulder.

With Smokey sitting back down on the bed more properly, Kirinji went to sit on one of the chairs, actually taking the time to really look at Smokey. He did look better than before, especially his eyes. The first time he had seen him, part of him had thought he was blind due to how clouded they appeared. But looking at them now, they looked almost normal again.

“How are you doing?”

“Hm?” Smokey glanced up, looking a little startled since he had begun playing with the plush cat. “Good... better.” He nodded, smiling softly. “I'm no longer in constant pain.”

“Huh? Wait...? What do you mean with constant pain?”

Smokey ducked his head a bit as he blushed. “I was really close to dying back then...” Slowly, he looked up to see Kirinji stare at him with narrowed eyes and pursed lips.

“You're really unbelievable.” Kirinji sighed and shook his head. He had been so mad when he'd first found out just how sick Smokey had been and that he had stayed behind that day because he had wanted to die. He was such an idiot.

“No wonder your sister and Takeshi were scolding you like that.” Kirinji smirked.

Smokey was quiet after that for the longest time before he eventually spoke up again. “How is your arm?”

“Healing nicely, just like the rest.” Kirinji gave a single nod as he pointed at his head. He hadn't bothered to style his hair and had instead let his bangs hang in his eyes. If he didn't move too much, the scar wouldn't be visible that way.

Smokey let out a sigh of relief when he heard that, actually looking happy. “I'm glad.”

Kirinji watched Smokey set the plush cat aside and give it a light pat on the head before he looked at him with intent. “Hm? What is it?”

“Can you give me your phone number?”

“Huh?” Now, Kirinji was staring at Smokey with wide eyes, having to fight with himself not to back away from him. “Why would you want that?”

Thankfully, it seemed that Smokey was oblivious to his discomfort and instead only continued to look at him with a small smile. “It's a little hard to contact my gang, so I thought that maybe...”

“You could call me instead?” Kirinji finished for Smokey, who nodded as answer.

It didn't make sense. Why would Smokey want _that_? They barely knew each other.

“Wouldn't it be better to ask someone like Kohaku for that?”

For some reason that made Smokey smile all the more. “He told me to ask you.”

“ _What_?!”

“He said that it would be better if it's you since you need to come here for some time, while he might leave at some point when they've finished with the rebuilding.”

He couldn't believe this! Why would Kohaku set him up like that? Even if he would leave at some point, probably to go on another road trip, he would be way more reliable on that matter. Really, anyone would be more reliable than him.

“So, can I have it?”

Kirinji fought hard with himself not to scowl as Smokey looked at him with big eyes that could rival Masaki's. Part of him wondered whether Kohaku had told Smokey to try that trick on him. He honestly wouldn't put it past him to do just that.

“Okay... but only call if it's important, like you dying or something.” He grumbled as he wrote down his phone number. He really hoped he wouldn't regret this.

“Thank you.”

“Yeah yeah...” Kirinji waved Smokey's thanks off, again wondering just where his life had gone wrong for him to end up in such a situation.

* * *

Eventually, biding farewell to Smokey when it became quite late, Kirinji took the bus back home, feeling not as tired as he thought the day might leave him. It was odd, really. He was in a good mood, so good that he went to the flower shop close to the apartment and after looking around for a bit, decided to buy sunflowers. They looked so nice, thinking that Hiroto and Masaki would surely like them.

The rest of the evening went by in peaceful silence, with him eating dinner and then laying on the couch and watching some variety show on TV. That was until his phone rang and he foolishly thought that it might be Hiroto or Masaki. Imagine his surprise when he saw that it was Kohaku instead.

“Hello?”

“Hey Rin-chan~”

Not in the mood for this right now, Kirinji ended the call without another word and instead turned his attention back to the TV. Not even a minute later, his phone rang once more. Seeing that it was Kohaku again, Kirinji felt his mood drop. He should've gotten himself a drink before sitting down. Taking a deep breath, Kirinji answered the call with a tired sigh. “Hello Kohaku.”

“Sorry for just now.”

“Did something happen for you to call this late?”

“No no, just wanted to hear how you're doing.”

“Good. Did really nothing happen?”

“I could ask you the same.”

Kohaku better be drunk because this didn't make any sense. “Nothing happened.”

“Oh?” For some reason Kohaku sounded more sad than confused. Maybe he really was drunk.

“I'm going to hang up now.”

“No, wait... I went to visit Smokey earlier.”

“Okay?”

“He told me that you gave him your phone number.”

Oh. _That_ was what had caused this.

Before he could answer though, Kohaku went on speaking. “He also showed me the plush cat you got him.”

 _That_ information made Kirinji almost drop his phone, feeling his face heat up in embarrassment. He should've made Smokey promise not to tell anyone.

He had been quiet for so long that Kohaku seemed to have grown concerned.

“Are you still there?”

“Y-yes...” Great. And now he was stuttering.

Now he could hear Kohaku smile over the line. “I'm glad you two get along so well.”

Yeah, thanks to your meddling, Kirinji thought bitterly.

“Smokey also mentioned that your injuries are healing nicely.”

“They do.”

“I'm glad. Are you okay over there? I've heard those two are away on a job.”

Of course they would talk about this. “Yes, I'm fine.” He did miss them, though. It was weird how quickly he had gotten used to have them around, to no longer being alone, and actually being happy to have them in his life.

“Okay, if you're sure.” Kohaku's voice pulled Kirinji out of his thoughts.

“I am.”

“You know that you can call me or Tsukumo anytime, right? And not just when it's an emergency. If you feel lonely, we always can come over...”

“No.” Kirinji interrupted Kohaku, though didn't sound mad about his suggestion. If anything he was touched as weird as it sounded. “I'm fine. I promise I'm fine... Thank you, though.”

“Anytime.”


	19. Chapter 19

It was close to midnight when Kirinji received a text by Hiroto, telling him that he and Masaki were on their way home, though that he didn't need to stay up for them since it would be a while before they would be back.

Truth be told, he was tired, having gotten used too quickly to a more normal sleeping schedule instead of staying awake for most of the night.

He must've fallen asleep at some point, with the TV still on. The next thing he knew were gentle fingers trailing over his cheek, making his eyes slowly flutter open.

“Hey... you're back already?” He asked quietly, voice heavy with sleep, as he gazed up at Hiroto.

“It's been almost two hours since I've sent that text.” Hiroto replied with an equally quiet voice, smiling down at Kirinji from where he leaned over the back of the couch.

“Oh...” It was all he could get out when he heard how much time really had passed by. Slowly sitting up, he craned up his neck and gave Hiroto a soft kiss in greeting before he looked over his shoulder to the bathroom door, only now hearing the shower running.

“Masaki should be done soon.” Moving around the couch then, Hiroto turned off the TV before he focused his attention on Kirinji as he sat down on the edge of the couch. “How's your arm?”

“Healing nicely, the doctor says, just like the rest.”

Hiroto visibly relaxed when he heard that, smiling softly as he leaned in and hugged Kirinji. “I'm glad.”

“Me too.”

“Missed you.”

“Missed you... too...” The last part came out with a gasp when he felt one of Hiroto's hands having sneaked under his shirt and slowly stroking up and down his spine.

They were so lost in their own world that they didn't hear the bathroom door open nor taking notice of Masaki coming out and then quickly crossing over to them.

“Ah, you're awake!” Masaki laughed softly as he leaned over the back of the couch and gave Kirinji an awkward hug, which startled him, not least because his hair was still damp with droplets of water falling onto his skin.

“Dry your hair properly!” Kirinji hissed as he tried and failed to shove off Masaki.

“I just wanted to say hello.” He pouted, finally letting go of Kirinji and instead reached up and toyed with a damp strand of hair from his bangs.

Looking Masaki up and down, Kirinji's eyes softened a little. “Hello... And now go and dry your hair.”

“Yes mom.” Masaki giggled as he quickly backed away from the couch.

“I'm not your mother!” Kirinji hissed as he tried to swat at Masaki, though despite his words, he didn't look angry at all.

“No...” Masaki shook his head. “But you sound like one.” With that, he ran back to the bathroom before Kirinji could try to get up from the couch and chase after him.

Sighing, Kirinji leaned back on the couch, only turning his eyes back to Hiroto when he felt his hands gently cup his face before he leaned in and kissed him oh so slowly.

Oh. Was he trying to calm him?

Masaki didn't take long to dry his hair properly, soon coming back out of the bathroom and made room for Hiroto to shower.

“Is it safe to come closer?” Masaki grinned from where he stood by the kitchen table.

“Hmm... c'mere.” Kirinji nodded, waiting before Masaki had sat down on the couch before he spoke up again. “Did everything go well?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

They were quiet for a bit after that, though that didn't stop Masaki from looking at him with a growing smile that was getting unnerving quickly.

“Do I have something on my face?”

“Noooo~” Masaki's sing-song voice was almost worse than his staring. “I've got a message from Kohaku.”

Kirinji's eyes grew wide with horror. He should've known that Kohaku wouldn't be able to keep _that_ piece of information to himself.

“I'm going to bed!” Kirinji said as he suddenly got up from the couch, though was immediately pulled back down to sit on the couch again before he was able to run away.

“I promise I'm not going to tease you.” Despite his promise, Masaki was still not able to stop grinning.

“Does Hiroto know, too?”

“Uh huh, I don't keep any secrets from him.”

Of course not.

“And?” Kirinji asked slowly, already feeling dread creep up on him.

“I'm proud of you.” Masaki smiled widely as he playfully nudged Kirinji's right shoulder.

“Huh?” He... was proud of him?

“You have a good heart.” Masaki nodded and then flopped down to lay with his head on Kirinji's lap.

“You're ridiculous.” He sighed, though didn't try to push Masaki off. Part of him wanted to protest Masaki's words, but he wasn't awake enough for that right now.

“How did your check-up go? Is your arm okay?”

“Yes, everything's healing nicely.”

“I'm glad.”

Eventually Hiroto came back out of the bathroom, though stopped short when he saw the other two cuddled close together on the couch.

Hearing the bathroom door open and close, Masaki sat up and looked over to his brother before he turned back to grin at Kirinji. “I'll leave you two alone then.” He winked, seemingly not wanting to get on his brother's bad side.

Kirinji watched Masaki get up from the couch and disappear in his bedroom, all while trying to ignore how warm his face had grown at Masaki's teasing words. A moment later, he felt a hand on his head, gently stroking through his hair.

“Come to bed with me?”

“Gladly.” Before he could get up on his own though, Hiroto had already reached out and picked him up bridal style. “I can walk...”

“Told you I'm gonna take good care of you.”

If Hiroto's words and the way he was looking at him hadn't shut him up, then the deep kiss that followed certainly did, making him stare at Hiroto with wide eyes while his heart was beating a mile a minute.

Oh... _Oh!_

He was laid down oh so gently on the bed before he found Hiroto straddling his lap again. Slowly, he was starting to see a pattern there and part of him wanted to ask how exactly Hiroto thought this would go when they should eventually go all the way. Opening his mouth to ask, though, he found Hiroto closing the gap between them and kiss him slow and deep, seemingly intending to take his breath away. When they broke for air, Kirinji used his chance and placed a hand on Hiroto's chest to make him stop since it seemed that he wasn't done kissing him senseless just yet.

“Wait...”

“Huh? Are you feeling ill again?”

“No, no, of course not. I'm feeling really good right now.”

The confusion on Hiroto's face was actually really cute, so much so he wanted nothing more than to try and kiss him senseless this time. But he really needed to talk with him first.

“Can we talk for a moment?”

“Of course. What about?”

Kirinji took note that despite Hiroto agreeing to talk, he didn't move off of him.

“This... us.” Kirinji gestured between them.

“Hm?” Hiroto blinked in confusion, while slightly tilting his head to one side.

Gods, he looked adorable like that.

“You've done this before, right?”

“Hm?”

“Sex.”

“Oh. Yes.” Hiroto gave a single nod, though didn't move to push his hair out of his eyes then.

That was good to know, that he didn't have an overeager virgin on his hands. Hiroto was breathtakingly beautiful, to die for even. Still, part of him wasn't sure if he could've handled it had Hiroto been just that.

Slowly moving his right hand to rest on Hiroto's hip, Kirinji watched him intently, barely able to keep himself from smiling when he saw his eyes closing momentarily before they fluttered open once more.

“You like sitting on my lap.” It wasn't a question, as this was obvious by now.

Hiroto's eyes widened slightly at that. “Should I get off?”

“No, no... stay.” Kirinji quickly moved his hand to rest on Hiroto's smaller back, noticing how he all but melted against his touch. Licking his lips then, Kirinji thought for a moment how best to ask what was on his mind. “Say... if my arm was healed right now, what would you do?”

“Uhh...”

“Would you sit on my lap again?” Kirinji went on, his hand slowly moving to sneak under Hiroto's shirt, feeling him shiver slightly as his fingers danced over the warm skin on his back.

“Yes...” Hiroto breathed out and gave another nod, though much slowly this time, almost as if he was in a trance.

“And then? What would you do?” Kirinji trailed his hand slowly up and down over Hiroto's back as he waited for an answer.

Hiroto, though, seemed to be content with just enjoying the attention he was getting as he looked back at him with half-lidded eyes, a slight blush slowly creeping his face. “Kiss you...” He answered eventually.

“Hm... Is that all?” Kirinji asked as he leaned closer, no longer able to keep the smile off of his face. Gods, if he had known how easy it was to get Hiroto to be like that, he would've done this way sooner.

“No... would... you...” Hiroto began, though trailed off when he felt Kirinji's hand move from roaming over his back to stroke over his stomach and then up his chest.

“Hm? Just say what you want.” Kirinji smirked and then leaned forward without warning and captured Hiroto's lips in a deep kiss, smiling into it when he heard the soft sounds Hiroto made in response. When he broke away for breath, he didn't waste another moment before he gently pushed Hiroto to his side and off his lap before rolling them around, so that he ended up on top of him. It was a little awkward to keep himself up on one arm, but the wide-eyed look on Hiroto's face as he gazed up at him with slightly parted lips, _that_ was worth it.

“How about this? Would you want that?” Kirinji murmured as he leaned down more, though stopped mere inches before their lips could meet again. The fact that he wasn't being pushed off, that Hiroto didn't even try to do _anything_ , apart from still gazing up at him with those impossibly big eyes that looked both innocent, while at the same time hiding something almost dangerous under the surface, that almost made him growl with lust. “Should I make you mine like this?”

“Yes.”

Hiroto's honest answer, said without any hesitation, made Kirinji blink in surprise. For a long moment, he could do nothing but look back at him before he rolled off of him without another word to lay on his side, facing him, as he laughed softly.

“Why are you laughing?”

Hiroto sounding so unsure, almost bordering on sounding hurt, made Kirinji instantly sober up and shake his head. “Sorry... wasn't expecting that.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Hiroto turned on his side to look at him properly.

“Hmm, thought you'd want it to go the other way around, is all.”

Hiroto was silent for the longest time until he finally seemed to understand and then reached up with one hand to try and fail hiding his own amused laughter. “We can do that, too. I don't mind either way.”

Oh.

“I'd love that.” Kirinji smiled widely and then reached out and grabbed Hiroto by the front of his shirt and pulled him closer into a deep kiss.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for this chapter: strangling, danger of asphyxiation

“Can you stop that? You're gonna drive me up the wall.” Kirinji hissed under his breath, hoping his warning would Masaki stop bouncing his leg and sit still instead.

“Sorry. It's just... I'm nervous.”

“Why?”

He didn't get an immediate answer as Masaki visibly deflated instead, while trying and failing to swallow a sigh.

“I don't like hospitals.” He said eventually.

That much was obvious from the way he was acting, Kirinji thought and then turned his head to look at Hiroto sitting on his other side, looking equally on edge. If he had known that they would be like that, he would've told them to stay home or do anything else instead of accompanying him to his check-up.

Almost two weeks had passed since the last one, and his arm was slowly but surely feeling a lot better. He was still careful with it though, as he didn't want to risk to prolong his recovery even more or in the worst case having to undergo another surgery. One major one was enough as it was.

“Y'know, why don't you go and visit Smokey instead?”

Oh, that made both brothers turn towards him to stare with wide eyes and open mouths.

“It's fine, really.” Kirinji smiled a bit before either of them could protest. “Just go. I'll come and pick you up once I'm done here.”

“Are you sure that's alright?” Hiroto began, but was stopped when he saw Kirinji nod while he was still talking.

Not a moment later, the nurse came to pick him up for his appointment.

“Just go.” He mouthed to them as he made a shooing motion with his right hand.

* * *

The tests went by just as quickly as the last time, with the doctor telling him that he was happy with how well his arm was healing. Still, he shouldn't overdo it and rest his arm, so not to jeopardize the process he'd made thus far.

Happy with the prognosis that he seemed to heal quicker than expected, he made his way to the ward where Smokey stayed at. That happy mood quickly dropped though, the moment he stepped through the door and saw the scene that presented itself to him. Kohaku and Tsukumo had some guy in a suit backed into a corner, while another one was glaring daggers at two nurses who shielded Eri from him, with Masaki looking close to wanting to punch this one out. Meanwhile, Hiroto did his best to hold back Smokey since he also seemed to want to get involved in whatever was going on.

“Hey! What are you doing?!” Kirinji yelled at them, his voice slipping into an all too familiar snarling tone. The reaction that got was immediate, with everyone freezing to their spots before eventually turning to look at him.

“Rin...” Eri said quietly, seemingly having been the first to recover, as she quickly used her chance and ran over to him. “Help me.” She begged as she hid behind him, or better under the light summer coat he was wearing that day, though hadn't bothered to put on properly after the check-up.

Briefly glancing at Eri, he turned his focus to the guy that had been glaring at the nurses, seeing his face shift from anger to something like amusement before finally settling on mild confusion.

“Hey... give me that child.” He said, voice bordering on demanding, as he came closer while gesturing at Eri who was even more hiding behind him now.

Kirinji pulled his coat closed more with his right hand, while his face settled into a more neutral expression. “What child?” He asked, voice sounding almost innocent, so very much in contrast to how it had sounded mere moments ago.

It was a silly thing to do, he knew that much, though weirdly enough it earned him a few confused but also amused looks by the others.

“Don't play dumb!” The guy snarled and reached out to grab Kirinji by the wrist, while Eri whimpered softly and hid even more behind him, if that was even possible.

He wasn't sure what had made him snap in that moment, that guy touching him or Eri sounding so broken and scared. Pulling his hand free again, he shifted his posture a little to stand up straighter while slowly rolling his head from one side to the other as he stared at the other man with a dark look in his eyes.

“Close your eyes.” He whispered to Eri.

The moment he felt her nod against his back, he quickly pulled back his still raised hand before striking the other man, punching him square in the nose with force, while using the momentum to shift where he stood and kicked the man's legs out from under him which sent him to the floor, ignoring how his head bounced off of the floor with a sick sound. During all that, his coat slipped off of his shoulders and laid draped over Eri, still hiding her from view and made her look like a ghost.

“Don't touch me.” He growled as he dropped down on top of the other with so much force as he rammed his right knee right into the man's stomach, causing him to groan in pain.

“What was that? You need to speak up louder?” Kirinji demanded to know, voice back to the snarling tone from earlier. His right hand had quickly found its way around the man's necktie, looping it around his hand as he pulled it closer and closer, which caused the man to gasp and fight for breath. “You better stop wriggling.” He warned with a low voice. “I only have that one good arm, you see. So if you continue like that, I'll have to lean more on you.”

Not waiting for the man to stop or even try to respond, Kirinji's hand tightened his grip on the necktie even more, slowly but surely suffocating the man, while at the same time putting even more of his weight on his knee that still rested on the man's stomach.

“Hey! Stop that!” The other guy Kohaku and Tsukumo were trying to hold back suddenly yelled over to him. “We're with the police.”

“Who cares.” Kirinji interrupted the man, still not letting up from the one beneath him.

“You can't―!”

“Why should I care what a corrupt piece of shit says, huh?” He snarled, still not looking up, though he could tell that the other man was rooted to the spot over his words, while the others looked between them in confusion.

“I wasn't sure at first, but I've seen you before... in one of Kawata-san's night clubs. You know that name, right?”

Hearing that name, the man turned very pale, while opening and closing his mouth for several moments before he finally seemed to find his words again. “How... how do you know that?”

Slowly shifting off of the other, Kirinji got back up to his feet, though continued to hold onto the man's necktie, almost as if he didn't care whether or not he would strangle him in the process. Truth be told, he didn't.

“I used to be Kawata-san's right-hand man.” He would've liked to keep that information to himself just a little bit longer, or at least until there weren't so many people not involved around to hear. Now all he could do was try not to look too closely at any of the others, not needing to know with what expressions they'd look at him in that moment.

Finally letting go of the other man's necktie, Kirinji kicked him in the stomach with so much force that it knocked him out, which in turn caused everyone to gasp in shock.

“You...!” The other man began, but soon stopped when he heard Kirinji chuckle.

“I'm not like those silly kids. I don't mind getting my hands dirty.” He smirked in the cruel fashion he hadn't allowed to slip through until now, while pushing his hair out of his face as he stared the taller man down.

He wasn't sure why exactly those words made both Hiroto and Masaki blink in surprise, looking as if they'd seen a ghost, but he tried to ignore it, them, as best as he could in that moment.

“So what are you gonna do, call for help? I'm sure your colleagues would love to know that you're on Kuryu's payroll, just like this one.” He pointed back over his shoulder to the unconscious man on the floor.

“You're crazy.” The man began, seemingly unable to keep the panic out of his voice. “Who would believe you over me?”

“Who knows?” Kirinji shrugged with his right shoulder, looking and sounding amused, so much so that it almost bordered on hysterics.

Apparently, it was the wrong thing to do, and hadn't he done that a lot in the past couple of months, because the next moment, the man moved as he began to charge at him. Though, before he could get even anywhere close to him, it was Kohaku who punched him out with so much force that he remained laying unconscious on the floor where he had fallen.

“You're full of surprises.” Kohaku commented, though oddly enough didn't sound mad. “I need to call Saigo.” He excused himself as he got out his phone, already dialing the cop's number without waiting for a response by any of the others.

Decing to let Kohaku handle the matter from here on out, Kirinji took a deep breath to try and calm his nerves before he turned towards the two nurses who seemingly hadn't moved from their spots since this all had started. “I apologize for causing such a commotion.” He bowed his head, doing his best to actually try to sound remorseful, even though he didn't feel it. Truth be told, he would do it again if prompted, that was how little he regretted what he'd done, which was none.

Straightening back up, he spared one look over to Eri who had pushed his coat off of her head, though continued to hold it close around her shoulders as if it was a cloak, looking at him with big eyes. Part of him wanted to go over and ask her if she was alright, but a far bigger part only wanted to leave, needing to get away from everything. And so he did, not listening to any calls by the others, as he all but fled the ward, walking as fast as his legs would carry him until he found himself in the courtyard.

Now, he had really done it, he thought as he heavily leaned with his right arm against one of the trees. Not even an hour ago, he had felt so good, but now he had to fight with himself not to puke, feeling cold and shaky all over after he'd come crashing back down from the sudden high.

He should've told the others about any of this sooner, but now it was too late for such regrets. They'd seen him snap in the worst way. At least, he hadn't killed anyone. He was certain that would've really pushed them over the edge. Not that he thought they would excuse what just happened.

“You should come inside.” Tsukumo's voice startled him badly, having not realized him standing nearby until he had spoken up. “Saigo-san is gonna be here soon.”

Huh? Kirinji blinked in confusion when he heard that. Were they gonna hand him over to the police?

“C'mon now.” Tsukumo prompted him as he went closer and grabbed him by the right elbow when it didn't seem as if he wouldn't move on his own. Being all but dragged back inside, Kirinji did try not to fight whatever fate would await him. Imagine his surprise when Tsukumo led him past Kohaku and the two nurses from earlier who looked at him strangely and then passed Smokey who gave him almost the same look as the other three. In the end, he found himself in front of the door to Smokey's room.

“What...?” Kirinji asked quietly, not understanding what was going on.

“Wait here until Saigo-san is gone.” Tsukumo told him before he knocked on the door.

Seeing it pulled open, Kirinji came face-to-face with Masaki who quickly pulled him inside before closing the door again, though didn't move away from it and instead remained standing by it with one ear pressed against it.

Just what was going on, he wondered as he looked around and saw both Hiroto and Eri also present in the room, both of them appearing just as much on edge as Masaki was, though he didn't look at them too closely as he kept his head down. Not sure what to do with himself then, Kirinji went to the other side of the room, with Smokey's bed being like a barrier between himself and the other three in the room.

On one hand, he should be relieved that he was seemingly not handed over to the police, but that didn't mean that he wasn't on edge over the whole thing. Still feeling shaky on his feet, he leaned against the wall and then after a couple of moments slowly slipped down until he was sitting on the floor, now completely hidden from view thanks to the bed.

He just wanted to go home and curl up in bed, though it didn't look like that would be possible anytime soon. He should've told the others about this way sooner, at least then, he would've still have his old apartment to run off to should this all blow up in his face.

This was all so stupid. Even when he had tried to help Eri, he hadn't been able to do that without being like _that_.

Hugging his right arm around himself with a shaky sigh, he pulled up his legs even more towards his chest as he leaned forward and rested with his forehead on his knees.


	21. Chapter 21

He wasn't sure how long he had been sitting there on the floor, all curled up on himself, not moving at all. He barely noticed the cold from the floor seeping through his clothes and making him shiver all the more than he was already doing. He just wanted to leave this place, but there was no escape, not with Masaki blocking the door, nor with Kohaku and Tsukumo and god knew who else on the other side.

“Rin?” Eri asked quietly, startling him to the point of only now remembering that she was also in the room.

Blinking in surprise, he lifted his head and had to look around for a moment before he saw her perched on the bed and gazing down at him with concerned eyes.

“Are you okay?” She asked as she leaned further down and carefully petted his hair, almost as if he was some scared pet that needed comfort.

Maybe he was. Maybe he really was nothing more than a stray cat.

He could only hum in response, not really feeling like talking right now. Not a moment later, he saw movement out of the corner of his eyes, though wasn't sure who or what it was until he saw Hiroto come around the bed and kneel down by his side.

“You shouldn't sit on the cold floor.”

He knew that much, he wasn't stupid. Still, he couldn't bring himself to move and get up.

“C'mon, let me help you.” Hiroto offered. Though, the second he touched him, Kirinji froze. If Hiroto noticed, he didn't say anything as he picked him up and helped him sit on the bed.

He was about to curl up on himself again when he saw Eri look at him with intent before she hugged him.

“Thank you for protecting me from those bad men.”

Kirinji froze when he felt Eri's arms around him, not knowing what to say or how to react to that. He had been about to raise his hand and give her an awkward pat on the shoulder when his brain registered the rest of her words and he let his hand sink down on the bed instead.

Bad men... He also wasn't any better than them.

Before he could open his mouth though, he felt the bed dip and then Hiroto lean against his back, with his head resting against his shoulder, while reaching around his middle and give him an one-armed hug of his own. Only now did he realize just how cold he really felt, now that Hiroto's warmth slowly seeped through their clothes and warmed his back. Turning his head back, Kirinji glanced over his shoulder, completely at a loss for words over the fact that Hiroto was still seemingly comfortable with touching him, and even more so at him offering him comfort without being prompted to.

“How did your check-up go?”

Kirinji let out a shaky breath as he turned his head back to look at his left arm. He had almost forgotten about that after everything else. “Good.” He answered eventually, sounding more tired than he wanted to admit. “Doctor said my arm is healing better than expected.”

He had honestly not expected an answer, so imagine his surprise when Hiroto gave him a gentle squeeze.

“I'm glad.”

He was? Did that mean that he wasn't gonna be discarded?

* * *

He wasn't sure how long they continued to sit there like that, one shaky breath bleeding into another one, while he still didn't seem to be able to calm down enough to stop trembling.

“Rin?” Eri asked him after a while, again sounding so very concerned as she looked up at him.

Blinking once, twice to clear his vision and focus again after having spaced out quite a bit, he only realized now just how blurry his vision had become. Reaching up, he rubbed his eyes, though froze when he felt how wet and warm his cheeks felt under his fingertips. Had he been crying without realizing it?

“Rin?” Eri asked again, sounding even more concerned, which in turn alerted not just Hiroto but also Masaki.

“Hey... what's wrong?” Hiroto murmured against his ear, slowly letting go and shifted around him until he sat on his other side. Though, seeing how red his eyes were while the rest of his face was pale, almost as if he was either close to getting sick or passing out, caused Hiroto to gasp.

He wasn't even sure what to answer when he noticed Masaki come over to kneel down in front of him, one hand on his knee as he gazed up at him with concern written all over his face.

“Do you want something to drink?” Masaki offered.

“Or do you need to lay down?” Hiroto asked not even a second later.

“I... I don't know...” Kirinji began, though soon trailed off as he glanced from Hiroto to Masaki. The worry in their eyes only made him feel worse.

He was about to say something else when the door opened and he saw Kohaku step inside.

“You really have the weirdest luck...” Kohaku began, though trailed off when he saw the scene in front of him, the smile on his lips freezing and instead got replaced with a look of concern. “What's wrong?”

“What is it?” Tsukumo asked as he moved around him, his own eyes widened in a mixture of shock and surprise. “I'll get a nurse.” He told Kohaku and then ran off before Kirinji could stop him.

He didn't need even more people witness him falling apart.

He was vaguely aware of Smokey also coming in to the room, though stopping by the door.

Great, another person he didn't need there right now.

A couple of moments later, Tsukumo was back with one of the nurses from earlier right behind him, causing the others to step back from the bed and let her handle him. He didn't protest when she told him to lay down after checking his vitals, even though he didn't think it would help much. He just needed some space and maybe not so many people around, and then maybe, maybe he would calm down again.

* * *

Laying there with his eyes closed for god knew how long, he wasn't sure who had placed the cool cloth on his forehead after some time, just that it felt nice, really nice. After some time, he pulled it a little bit further down over his eyes to cool them because they still felt burning hot from crying.

“So... it wasn't a lie when you told me that you used to work for those people?”

Hearing Smokey speak up so suddenly, made Kirinji freeze. He wasn't sure what was worse, Smokey not even sounding the least bit angry at him or him not trying to throw him out. It made no sense.

Reaching up, Kirinji pushed the cloth a little bit off of his eyes to see where exactly Smokey was, though almost jumped out of his skin when he saw him stand right in front of the bed and look down at him with an unreadable expression. Taking a deep breath, while at the same time taking the cloth from his forehead and held it in his hand instead, he sat up on the bed and looked at Smokey with tired eyes.

“I told you to believe whatever you want.”

Smokey sighed at that and then did something that surprised Kirinji even more, he actually sat down on the edge of the bed.

“I don't know what to believe anymore...”

Kirinji didn't know what to say to that and instead looked around the room and saw the others still keeping their distance, though whether it was to give him some space or for some other reason he'd rather not think too much about, he wasn't sure.

“Was everything else the truth, too?”

“Hm?” Kirinji turned his attention back to look at Smokey. “I've never lied to you. I...” He bit his lip before taking another deep breath. “I just never told you the whole truth.”

Now that made Smokey look at him with narrowed eyes, though despite that he still didn't appear angry.

“Does that mean you would've really killed me back in Nameless Street?”

That question made Kirinji blink in surprise as he had to actually think for a moment before he remembered that he had indeed threatened Smokey's life during their first encounter.

“No, I wouldn't have killed you.” Kirinji answered eventually, immediately feeling the obvious tension over that question leave the room. “I have to admit though, had I still been with Iemura... I can't say I wouldn't have, especially if Nikaido-san had been there.”

“Nikaido?” Kohaku interjected, sounding rather interested in the topic.

Kirinji looked over to Kohaku, wondering why he asked. He had seen him back then and even before that when he and Tsukumo had pretended to be on their side. Then again, he probably hadn't cared about his name. “That's the guy who almost killed me.”

“Why would it been different with him?” Hiroto wanted to know before Kohaku could ask something else, seemingly unable to keep the bitter edge out of his voice, or maybe he didn't care about it right now.

Yes, that was the question. Why indeed...

Taking a deep breath, he decided to be honest about it. If this whole thing would blow up in his face over this, then the least he could do was give them some ammunition.

“I used to be obsessed with him.”

He saw Hiroto narrow his eyes at that, while Masaki looked over to his brother in concern, though seemed to think better of touching him in that moment.

Meanwhile, Tsukumo could only snort while shaking his head. “Why would you be obsessed with someone like that?”

Wetting his lips, Kirinji couldn't help the small smile that tugged on the corner of his lips. “I foolishly thought that if I would get him to notice me... then...” He trailed off with a shrug. “In a way, he's my type.”

“And that would be what?” Oh, now Hiroto actually sounded possessive.

“Good-looking and strong... strong enough to break my neck.”

The confession let the whole room fall silent.

“He almost managed to do that.” Kohaku said after a while, sounding oddly amused despite the topic.

“He wanted to kill me because he thought I was a traitor.” Kirinji said with a flat voice, not finding this as amusing as Kohaku seemingly did.

“Traitor?” Smokey asked.

“I was carrying your unconscious body while being about to flee Nameless Street. Anyone would've thought the same.” Kirinji chuckled, though it sounded hollow. “I mean, he wasn't wrong.”

It was the first time he was talking so openly about what had happened back then, while sounding more broken than ever before.

“Is that what Kuryu does with traitors?” Masaki wondered out loud, sounding more as if he was talking to himself than asking a question for everyone else in the room to hear.

“Failure won't be tolerated.” Kirinji said matter-of-fact, voice devoid of any emotion, almost as if he only repeated what he'd been told over and over again until it would be the only thing he'd know.

Now that made Kohaku perk up. Walking over to Kirinji, Kohaku gently petted his head, causing him to blink up at him in surprise. “Was that the reason why you were like that a couple of weeks ago?”

“Yes...”

“Wait... What do you mean? Did something happen?” Masaki asked, quickly turning towards Hiroto, only to see him look equally confused by what they were talking about.

“You see...” Kohaku began before Kirinji had the chance to respond. “This one here thought you two would be mad at him if he told you not to overdo it with worrying so much about him.”

It took both Hiroto and Masaki a couple of moments to put two and two together, but eventually it seemed to click as to what Kohaku meant.

“Ah that...” Hiroto nodded in understanding.

“Wait... This has to do with you not being used to being treated kindly?”

Kirinji's eyes widened when heard Masaki phrase what had happened like that, while feeling his face heat up in embarrassment.

“That's horrible.” Masaki added a moment later and then quickly came over to him and took his right hand in his own. “Should we go and do something about him?”

“What?” Kirinji stared at Masaki when he heard him say that.

“Cobra got him pretty good.” Kohaku commented with a happy smile, without being prompted to.

It was the first time Kohaku talked about that, though that didn't mean that Kirinji would use the chance to ask him about what exactly had happened back then. He would follow Naomi's advice and ask Cobra about it at some point.

“See? That Nikaido guy can't be that strong.” Masaki went on, seemingly completely oblivious to Kirinji still staring at him with disbelieving eyes and instead turned his head back to look over his shoulder back to Hiroto.

“No...” Kirinji slowly shook his head.

“But― “ Masaki began, though was quickly interrupted by Kirinji who felt his patience run thin with every passing moment that was wasted on this topic.

“Don't you get it through your thick skull that I don't want anything to happen to any of you?” Kirinji yelled, causing not just Masaki to flinch at the sudden increased volume of his voice.

He knew exactly where _that_ had come from. That stupid conversation with the three Daruma guys had prompted this after having laying dormant in the back of his mind for so long.

“Huh?”

“Not huh.” Kirinji huffed as he pulled his hand free, not believing any of this. “You can't just go and start another conflict because someone mistreated me.”

“But we're friends...” Masaki said with a small pout.

“What?” Now it was Kirinji's turn to stop and blink in surprise.

“That's right, we're friends.” Kohaku said as he petted his head again.

“We... are friends?”

“Of course we are.” Hiroto smiled and nodded in agreement.

They... were friends? When had that happened?

“Stop looking as if you've seen a ghost.” Tsukumo told him and then reached out and pinched his cheek to try and make him snap out of his daze. “Or are you really that stupid not to realize that we all care about you?” Tsukumo smirked as he finally let go again.

What? They... cared about him? _What?!_

“You can't just say that...” Kirinji muttered under his breath, still sounding completely caught off guard by the revelation. If that little bit was enough to make them friends, then Kizzy was his friend, too. Or rather had been, since he had destroyed that in a spectacular fashion.

“Even those two nurses covered for you.” Kohaku said after a couple of moments.

“Hm?”

“That's right!” Masaki turned his attention towards Kohaku. “What did Saigo say?”

“He was pretty grateful that we managed to catch those two guys.”

“He also said that he knows that they're not the only ones, but it's hard for them to track them all down.” Tsukumo added.

“Of course they're not the only ones.” Kirinji sighed more to himself than the other ones, which in turn made the others focus on him.

“What do you mean?” Kohaku pressed. “Do you know any more of them?”

“Of course I do. I keep a list.”

“What?” Now, Kohaku leaned down to be at eye level with Kirinji, his hand moving from his head to rest on his shoulder instead. “What kind of list?”

“Of all the people who frequented Kawata-san's clubs.”

“But it's not illegal to go to night clubs.” Masaki shrugged.

“They're not really night clubs.” Kirinji told them with obvious distaste in his voice. “They're more like brothels with music.”

“The hell would you work at such a place?” Tsukumo stared down at him with narrowed eyes.

“You can't exactly pick and choose what you want to do at Kuryu.” Kirinji shrugged. “I was placed in his care because it was the closest to...” He trailed off and immediately snapped his mouth shut the second the realized just what he had almost let slip.

“To what?” Hiroto prompted, while the others stared at him with interest.

Great. Now, he had really done it. How was he supposed to get out of this without it ending with him getting beaten up over his former work?

Silently looking from one person to the next, Kirinji felt more and more dread creep up on him. Still, he knew he wasn't going to get out of this without answering.

“My former work.” He answered quietly as he let his eyes drop down to the bed to avoid their gazes, already knowing what other question would come next.

“And that would be what?” Kohaku prompted after a couple of moments.

Glancing up briefly, Kirinji looked from Hiroto to Smokey before he answered with a shaky breath. “Doubt.”

The silent that followed that was deafening.

The moment Kohaku removed his hand from Kirinji's shoulder, he ducked his head even more while screwing his eyes shut, desperately hoping that whatever they would do to him would be quick.

He didn't see Masaki look in the round of people who all looked lost at the revelation before glancing back to his brother who could only shrug at Masaki gesturing between them.

“How long did you work for Kuryu?” Masaki asked eventually after waving off Hiroto.

“A little over three years.” Kirinji answered quietly, still keeping his head down and his eyes closed, not questioning why Masaki didn't sound angry. He also didn't understand why he wasted time with asking questions when it should be obvious what should be done about this, him.

“And how long did you work for Doubt?”

“Over six years.”

He neither saw Kohaku stare down at him with wide eyes when he seemed to have calculated the laid out time frame nor his gaze then flickering over to Tsukumo who had counted his age minus those years on his fingers before mouthing 18 at Masaki.

“Did you ever consider... honest work?”

Kirinji could barely stop himself from laughing at that. Of course he had tried that. This wasn't how he had envisioned this life to go after all. “I did... for three years. But there wasn't much.”

Tsukumo hesitated after hearing that before he eventually mouthed 15 at Masaki and then looked up at Kohaku who could only shake his head in response.

The room was silent for a very long time after that, while Kirinji felt more and more anxious with each passing moment.

“You really are a stupid idiot.” Masaki sighed and then gently patted Kirinji on the head, which made him first flinch and then slowly open his eyes and finally look up and blink in surprise when the others didn't appear to be angry.

“Why...?” He breathed out eventually.

“Why you're a stupid idiot?” Masaki wondered with a small smile playing on his lips.

No. Kirinji shook his head. He knew why he was that. “Why aren't you punishing me?”

Now it was Masaki's turn to blink in surprise. “What? Why would we do that?”

Kirinji couldn't help himself staring at Masaki with disbelief written all over his face. “Because I used to work for your enemies... _I_ was one of them.”

“You never lied to us about your feelings, right?” Masaki grinned, quickly glancing over his shoulder back to Hiroto.

“Huh?”

“That you care about us.” Masaki clarified. “You said that you don't want anything to happen to us. That was the truth, right?”

Oh.

“Yes.” Kirinji nodded without hesitation.

“See? Why should we punish you when you left that part of your life behind?”

“But...” Kirinji began, though was soon interrupted by Kohaku placing his hand on his shoulder once more and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“We're not Kuryu.” Kohaku reminded him with a gentle voice. “Besides, I've already told you that you're allowed to make mistakes.”

 _Mistakes?!_ That whole thing had been a little bit more than mere mistakes.

“How would've Kuryu punished you anyway?” Tsukumo asked him.

“Death.”

“What...?” Masaki wasn't the only one who stared at him with wide eyes. Now it made sense to them as to why he had acted so submissive since revealing the truth to them.

“Failure won't be tolerated.” Kirinji reminded them with a quiet voice and let his eyes drop back to the bed.

“Was that the reason why you were so scared about screwing up that chance we gave you?” Kohaku wanted to know, having leaned back down in hopes that Kirinji would look up again.

“Yes...” He nodded slowly.

“Listen... we may not be thrilled about this, but you're our friend.” Kohaku reminded him, which finally did the trick and made Kirinji look up again to gaze at Kohaku with wide, disbelieving eyes.

“What...?” They still considered him their friend? That made no sense to him.

“Stop looking like that.” Tsukumo told him and then reached out and gently tugged on his ear to get his attention instead of pinching his cheek again. “We've all made mistakes in the past. Just look at Kohaku-san... We still stand by his side.”

That was different, Kirinji thought. Still, he eventually nodded, which seemed to be enough for Tsukumo to finally let go of him.

“About that list you mentioned earlier...” Kohaku interjected. “Can we have that? I'm sure Saigo would like to have that.”

“Okay.” Kirinji nodded. “I don't have any use for it anymore anyway.”

“Why did you even keep such a list?” Hiroto asked.

“Insurance.” Kirinji shrugged, glad when they didn't ask to elaborate.

“Okay.” Kohaku nodded after a moment and then straightened back up, looking over to Tsukumo who nodded. “Then we should go.”

Kirinji nodded and then slowly got up from the bed, feeling a little shaky on his legs for a moment or two before he managed to find his footing and let out a soft sigh. He didn't dare look over to Smokey, not having done so since talking about his past. It was kind of amazing that Smokey hadn't tried to punch him over what had been revealed.

Before he reached the door, he was stopped by Eri speaking up. “Will you come back to visit, Rin?”

Turning back towards her, Kirinji needed a couple of moments to come to terms with Eri seemingly still wanting to see him even after everything. “Okay.”

That single word was enough to make Eri smile in response. It made him question a lot of things, mainly why she would still want anything to do with him. In the end, however, he didn't ask for reasons and instead gave her a small nod before following the others out of the room.

“You let her call you Rin?” Tsukumo teased him when the door wasn't even closed yet.

“It's not annoying when she does it.” Kirinji glared at him half-heartedly.

“You're just playing favorite.”

* * *

The bus ride home was in silence, with Kirinji looking out of the window to see Kohaku and Tsukumo following on their bikes.

Once back home, Kirinji went to the bedroom to retrieve his laptop.

“Here... Do whatever you want with this.” He offered once he had selected the list Kohaku had asked him for, getting up from his chair so they could see for themselves.

“This is quiet a long list.” Kohaku commented as he slowly scrolled through it.

“Not everyone's a cop.” Kirinji told them from where he leaned against the table, gesturing at the screen. “These ones are with the police. And these ones are on Kuryu's payroll.” He pointed at the second section.

“But they aren't all cops.” Kohaku asked.

“No.” Kirinji shook his head. “They're all types of people. For example, these two work for the government. And those guys own construction companies or simply work for them.”

“This is amazing.” Masaki nodded from where he leaned over Kohaku's shoulder while reading over the names.

Kirinji could only shrug in response. “I like to keep tabs on the people I work with.”

“Wait... Does that mean you have information about Doubt, too?”

“Of course.”

“Can we have this to show Saigo?” Kohaku asked as he pointed at the laptop.

Kirinji made a face, not wanting to give his computer away to anyone. “Wait a second...” With that he went back to the bedroom and looked through his belongings for an old flash drive he could use. Eventually finding what he'd been looking for, he returned to the kitchen and then sat back down and transferred the lists Kohaku wanted on it.

“Here you go.” He handed the flash drive over to Kohaku, barely able to keep the sigh out of his voice. He was beginning to feel really tired, though tried not to be too obvious about it.

“You're a good kid.” Kohaku smiled and then gently patted him on the head, treating him as if he really was nothing more than a cat.

Part of him wanted to protest that he wasn't whatever Kohaku thought of him, but he really didn't have the energy for that right now. All he could do was to hope that Kohaku would keep his name out of this.


	22. Chapter 22

After Kohaku and Tsukumo left and dinner happened in somewhat peaceful silence, Masaki was the first to go to bed after wishing the other two a good night.

“Come to bed?” Hiroto asked, startling Kirinji a little bit.

Truth be told he was really tired, so much so that he'd almost fallen asleep over dinner. Though, hearing Hiroto actually inviting him in his bed after everything, left him reeling quiet some.

“Sure... Give me a minute. Okay?”

“Okay.” With that Hiroto went to his room.

Looking after Hiroto and then at the closed bedroom door, Kirinji let out a long, tired sigh. There was something he needed to do before Kohaku would be back with the rest of Sannoh. And his window to act was closing quickly.

Sitting down on the couch, he wrote Naomi a quick message and asked for Cobra's phone number. There was some back and forth with Naomi asking what he needed Cobra's number for. And for a moment it felt as if she was trying to tease him. Had he been more awake, he would've appreciated it more, but in the end, he was too tired to care either way, telling her that he might not be able to come over any time soon to ask Cobra for what happened in Nameless Street _that day_ and that he thought this would be a better solution. Seemingly understanding, Naomi gave him Cobra's number in the end before wishing him a good night.

Staring at the phone number then, Kirinji's fingers wouldn't cooperate to actually press the call button and get this whole thing over with. Sighing, he let his phone rest on his chest instead to try and calm his nerves.

This was so stupid. He knew he didn't have a lot of time to ask Cobra before Kohaku would surely blab out all his little secrets he had pushed in the open today. The moment any of the Sannoh guys would find out that he used to be with Doubt, he wouldn't be able to ever step a foot on their land anymore. Part of him wondered if or better when Naomi would tell him to never contact her ever again.

* * *

He hadn't meant to fall asleep on the couch that night.

One moment he had blinked slowly at his phone with tired eyes and then the next he was asleep, curled up in a corner of the couch, much like he had sometimes slept in that small and stupidly stuffy room Masato had called their office back in the day. At least his mind had been merciful with him that night and instead of plaguing him with any nightmares that sure lurked somewhere in the corners, ready to pounce, it let him drift through a dreamless cloud of silent nothingness.

The next morning, he woke up slowly and after some time was vaguely aware of Masaki coming out of his room and then stopping in the middle of the living room for a couple of moments before he continued to move. Opening one eye just a tiny bit, he saw him go to Hiroto's room, though still wasn't awake enough to realize that he had fallen asleep on the couch, and so he closed his eye again and was about to fall back asleep, curling up more, when he heard some commotion coming from Hiroto's room. Not even a minute later, Masaki dragged a complaining Hiroto out of his room with both stopping near the couch.

“What's so important, Aniki? Can't you let me wake up first?” Hiroto complained while rubbing his eyes.

“This!” Masaki huffed and pointed with both hands at the couch.

“Huh...?”

“I don't know what's going on, but can't you two just kiss and make up?”

“ _What?!_ ” Now Hiroto actually sounded scandalized. “I _didn't_ make him sleep on the couch!” Hiroto protested and then sighed. “He said that he would come to bed soon and I tried waiting up... I must've fallen asleep at some point.”

Now Masaki was the one sighing. “You two are unbelievable.”

Kirinji opened his eyes again when he heard that, slowly lifting his head to look over the back of the couch to the other two. “Don't be angry at Hiroto...” He pleaded with a sleepy voice, blinking slowly. “... 's my fault... fell asleep without noticing.”

Masaki opened his mouth and was about to say something to that when he saw Hiroto walk over to the couch and leaned over the back of it.

“Silly... don't sleep out here, especially not without a blanket.” Hiroto murmured before he pressed a kiss to Kirinji's forehead.

“Sorry.”

Hiroto only hummed in response before he reached down and hugged him. “You're all cold.” He added before he picked him up bridal style and carried him back to his room.

“Where are you two going?” Masaki wanted to know as he followed them to Hiroto's bedroom, though stopped by the door when he saw Hiroto tuck Kirinji in to bed and pressed another soft kiss to his forehead.

“Try to sleep a bit more.”

“Thank you...” Kirinji said quietly, eyes already closing again.

Hiroto stayed by his side of the bed a few moments longer before he walked back to his brother's side.

“He's almost like a child.” Masaki commented with a sad smile.

* * *

By the time he woke up again it was around noon and he actually felt well-rested and more importantly warm. Slowly getting out of bed, part of him was tempted to take the blanket with him, but in the end decided against it.

“Ah! There he is.” Kohaku's voice startled him and made him stop in his tracks after having barely stepped through the bedroom door.

“What are you doing here?” He asked as he looked from Kohaku to Tsukumo and then over to Hiroto and Masaki, all four sitting around the kitchen table.

He didn't think he'd see them so soon again, much less being greeted in the same friendly manner as usual.

“Just wanted to tell you guys that we gave Saigo that list.” Kohaku informed him when he came over to sit by the table, nodding when both Hiroto and Masaki quietly asked him whether he was feeling better.

“And?”

“He'll have to look into it which will take some time. But he already suspected a couple of people on it.”

“Did you tell him where you've got that information from?” Kirinji couldn't help how tense and filled with dread his voice sounded.

“Saigo did ask, but I didn't reveal your identity.” Kohaku told him. “I thought you'd be okay with that.”

Kirinji was perplexed for a moment, but soon nodded, looking visibly relieved. He looked after Masaki when he got up and watched him make something to eat.

“We've also wanted to ask you for something else.” Kohaku's voice made him refocus his attention.

“What about?”

He watched Kohaku nod at Tsukumo who then pulled out a map of the city and spread it over the whole table.

“Can you show us where exactly Kuryu and Doubt have their hideouts?” Kohaku asked as he held out a pen towards a startled-looking Kirinji.

“Huh?” He didn't reach out for the pen and instead kept on glancing between Kohaku and the map. “Why would you want that information for?”

Kohaku and Tsukumo shared a look he wasn't quiet able to read before Tsukumo answered him. “We thought it would be a good idea to know just how far their reach has expanded.”

Part of him wondered whether that was the whole reason.

“What are you going to do with that knowledge?” He asked, still not taking the pen, which in turn made Tsukumo roll his eyes.

“Are you trying to cover for them?” Tsukumo huffed.

What? Why would he do that after everything? In the end he was only loyal to himself.

“No.” Kirinji shook his head, finally taking the pen and began to mark the SWORD regions. “I just fear you might do something stupid... like going after Doubt or Kuryu.”

The silent that followed that made him look up and see both Kohaku and Tsukumo stare back at him with sheepish expressions on their faces, almost as if he had caught them with their hands in the cookie jar.

“Are you crazy?!” Kirinji yelled at them, unable to keep his voice down. “Why would you do something so stupid?”

Before either men could answer, Masaki placed a plate with two sandwiches on it and a mug with hot tea in front of him.

“Here, eat that instead of biting their heads off.”

Blinking in surprise at the offered food, Kirinji looked up at Masaki and then gave him a slow nod. “Thank you.”

He was in the middle of eating the first sandwich that he caught sight of both Kohaku and Tsukumo look at him in amusement. “What?”

“Nothing.” Kohaku gave a slight shake of his head. “I'm glad you seem to feel better.”

Kirinji wasn't sure what to respond to that, especially not when he saw Tsukumo nod in agreement. In the end, he could only nod and then continued eating.

“Would you really start something with Doubt or Kuryu?”

“They're weakened right now.” Kohaku began.

“If not now, then when?” Masaki added, having sat down again.

Kirinji couldn't stop laughing when he heard those foolish words.

“Why are you laughing?” Hiroto wondered.

“You really think they're weakened?”

“Yes.” Tsukumo nodded, seemingly not understanding, just like the others, why this was so funny.

“You're wrong. Just because the police managed to catch a couple of the higher ups, doesn't mean anything.”

“What do you mean?” Masaki pressed, looking just as confused as the others.

Without answering, Kirinji got up from the chair and went to get a piece of paper before sitting back down. Picking up the pen, he began to drew a little chart before adding several names to it, while Masaki and Hiroto read over his shoulders to see what he was doing. Once done, he pushed the piece of paper to the middle of the table, so that Kohaku and Tsukumo could also see what he had written.

“These are the nine dragons. They're the ones in control of everything.” Kirinji explained as he pointed with the pen at the names. “Kuze-san died not too long ago... It was in the news.” He added when he saw the looks the others gave him, and then crossed off his name. “I'm not entirely sure who will take his place, but it's possible that it might be his wife.”

Next, he circled half of the remaining names. “These ones are the ones the police arrested. But if they're as sloppy as they were with the arrest of Kuze-san, then they'll probably be released in no time.”

He watched them all nod along before he went on, crossing off another name which caused Masaki and Hiroto to gasp quietly.

“Kamizono... is dead?” Masaki asked quietly, voice sounding so very shaky.

“Yes.”

“How...?” Hiroto asked, sounding equally shaken.

“I don't know the details.” Kirinji shrugged. “But losing to you on top of mismanaging the data for the casino project didn't do him any favors with the rest.” He went on and replaced Kamizono's name with another one. “You should know this one.” He told Kohaku and Tsukumo before he got up from his chair and went to fill two mugs with tea and then placed them in front of Masaki and Hiroto before sitting back down without saying another word. The action caused both Kohaku and Tsukumo to smile in unison, while Kirinji tried to ignore them and instead looked at Hiroto and Masaki with sympathy.

“I can't believe he's... he's really gone.” Masaki hiccuped, trying and failing to keep his voice even, as he seemingly fought with himself not to start crying.

Hiroto, on the other hand, had seemingly lost the battle with his tears and was now trying to make them stop again.

While giving Masaki and Hiroto enough time to calm back down, Kirinji went back to eat his second sandwich and drink the rest of his tea. Though, he almost choked on his tea when suddenly Masaki and Hiroto both leaned against either side of him, not having expected that. Part of him was glad that neither Kohaku nor Tsukumo commented on the situation, or how he knew so much about the inner workings of Kuryu. Then again, they probably remembered how he had told them that he had used bribery or threats to get information he wasn't really supposed to know about.

“What about this one?” Kohaku asked after some time as he pointed at the name that now stood on Kamizono's stead.

“He used to be part of Mighty Warriors.”

“What?” Kohaku and Tsukumo asked at the same time.

“Or better, he was part of Kuryu the whole time.”

“Ryu...?” Tsukumo read the name once more, seemingly slowly coming to realize just who the man in question was. “Wait... That was the guy who used Doubt's forces during that attack on Nameless Street?”

“The one who almost killed Smokey?” Hiroto asked quietly.

Kirinji looked from Tsukumo to Hiroto, wondering whether they were talking about the same person. “Athletic built, always wears dark suits, pretty face? Yeah, that's him.”

The reaction that got, the others' sour expressions when he phrased it like that, especially Hiroto frowning at him, made him smirk. “Despite his calm facade, he's a vicious one.”

“So what you're saying is that we shouldn't go after either group?” Masaki sighed after a bit.

“Exactly.” Kirinji nodded and then drank the rest of his tea. “Do you still want me to tell you where Doubt and Kuryu have their bases?”

“I still think it would be a good idea to at least know where they are.” Kohaku answered after looking back and forth between the others.

“Fine.” Kirinji nodded and then picked up the pen and began to mark all the places he knew of. “Just don't do anything rash.” He glanced up momentarily to look at Kohaku. “At least _try_ to make a plan beforehand.”

“You sound really mature when you talk like that.” Tsukumo commented which in turn caused Kirinji to chuckle, though this time didn't stop with his work.

“It's not really a compliment when you phrase it like that, y'know.”

“How would you do it, then?” Kohaku prompted.

“Hm?”

“Those night clubs you've talked about. How would you take them down?”

Kirinji couldn't help rolling his eyes at Kohaku's question. Could he be any more obvious in what he was trying to do?

“I wouldn't take them down.” He began, already hearing the others suck in some breath as if they were close to interrupting him. “You don't _need_ to take them down.” He went on quickly, still not looking up as he continued to work on the map.

“Get the girls out of them would be the most effective way to disrupt business. It would have to be a coordinated mission though... Something were you'll have to act at the same time at all the clubs.” Glancing up, he saw the others exchange looks and had to fight with himself not to sigh.

“You'd need maybe three or four people for each club.” He went on which made the others focus back on him. “Also, I wouldn't do this during business hours. There would be way too many people there, especially security. Do it at night a couple of hours after they've closed.”

“You sound as if you'd already thought about this in the past.” Kohaku commented with a small smile playing on his lips.

“I didn't.” Kirinji shook his head, which made Kohaku's smile turn into a frown. “I just know the ins and outs of the clubs.” By now he was smirking. “It was part of my job to come up with ways to disrupt the business of others.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Masaki wondered.

Oh, this would be good.

“Whose idea do you think it was to release Hyuga from prison to cause trouble for SWORD?”

“ _WHAT?!!_ ” Suddenly the other four were on their feet, staring at him with a variety of wide eyes and open mouths.

“You can't be serious?” Masaki all but pleaded for this to be some sort of joke.

Kirinji could do nothing but laugh at their reactions. It was even better than expected.

“In hindsight it wasn't my best idea seeing how that idealistic talk got to him so fast. But the destruction Daruma caused was entertaining to watch unfold while it lasted.”

“You...!” Tsukumo was now around the table and had grabbed him by the front of his shirt, glaring daggers at him.

“ _I_ wasn't the one who drove him over the edge.” Kirinji told him with a calm voice. “That was Mugen. So if you want to punch someone, start with Kohaku... or yourself.”

He watched Tsukumo's right eye twitch at that, seemingly pondering his words for several long moments before he finally let go again.

“Besides...” Kirinji added a moment later. “Without him, you would've never been able to get SWORD to actually work together instead of everyone doing their own thing.”

“That's right.” Kohaku sighed and shook his head, sounding oddly tired. “Still... you continue to be full of surprises.”

Kirinji only shrugged before he went back to completing the map. “Told you before that I'm not a good person.”

The others didn't say anything to that and instead sat back down, patiently waiting for Kirinji to finish his work.

“You're really good at this.” Masaki said after some time, carefully leaning on Kirinji's shoulder.

“Hm?”

“You remember all of those places.”

Carefully shrugging, Kirinji gave Masaki a sidelong glance, smiling a bit. “I've been around for a while.”

“Noboru didn't know half of this.” Kohaku added.

“He was with Kuryu for less than a year.” He didn't like admitting how the mere mention of the other's name made him feel on edge.

“What about Doubt? You were with them for so long.” Hiroto asked.

“Since the beginning.” Kirinji corrected him before he could stop himself.

Now that made the others blink in surprise.

“So you know the leaders?”

Looking over to Hiroto, Kirinji nodded slowly. “The two that started it, yes.”

“How are they?” Masaki questioned.

“Ruthless.” Kirinji answered after a few moments. “I don't know if you've ever encountered the one that is still around. He's more quiet, but what he lacks when it comes to communication, he makes up with a quite brutal streak.”

The others nodded at that before Masaki spoke up again. “What about the other one?”

“That person, he...” Kirinji trailed off with a sigh. “That person doesn't exists anymore.”

The way he said it while sounding almost melancholic about it, made the others blink in surprise.

“Were you close with him?” Hiroto asked, sounding oddly comforting.

What did he think was going on? That he was talking about a past lover who had died or some other ridiculous notion? The mere idea made him laugh before he could stop himself, much to the others' confusion.

“Why are you laughing?” Masaki pressed as he glanced from Kirinji to Hiroto and then back again, looking and sounding completely perplexed by his reaction.

“Sorry...” Kirinji shook his head. “It was nothing like that.” He took a deep breath to try and calm back down. “Life happened... He's gone now which is probably a good thing.”

Not adding anything to that, he went back to the map while ignoring the others the whole time.

* * *

“Here you go.” Kirinji told them once he was done with his work, sitting back to let the others have a look at his work.

“That's... quite a lot.” Masaki breathed out, voice a mixture of amazement and defeat as he took in just how much land Kuryu and Doubt had managed to get under their control.

“Told you that it's a stupid idea to try and take them down.” Kirinji shrugged as he put his empty mug on the plate before getting up from his chair and then carried both over to the sink.

“Still... I didn't think it would be so much.” Kohaku sighed.

“I hate to repeat myself, but if you really plan to do anything against them, you _need_ to make a plan first instead of running headlong into a fight. No matter how good you think you are at fighting, you wouldn't survive such a confrontation, not with Kuryu.”

“But...” Masaki began, though was quickly stopped by Kirinji banging his fist with force on the table, which made the others jump in surprise.

“Stop it!” He growled out. “You were just lucky against Kamizono-san. Don't ever think the others would toy with you like that if given the chance. They would capture you and torture you and then once they've grown tired of you, they would kill you. And don't ever think it would be a quick and painless death. You have no idea what kind of people they are. So stop it! Just... _stop_.”

“Rin...” Tsukumo said quietly, only once before having seen or heard the other look or sound so desperate.

“Just stop it...” Kirinji pleaded as he repeated himself, voice shaky as he slowly sank down to crouch on the floor with his right arm wrapped around his middle and his head hanging low, breathing heavily. He couldn't lose them.

“We won't do anything.” Hiroto told him after a few moments, having come over to kneel by his side, one hand resting on his back.

“We promise.” Masaki added as he knelt down on Kirinji's other side.

“And if we should do anything at some point, we'll come and ask you for help.” Kohaku told him as he placed one hand on his head. “You do have clever ideas.”

“And since you're on our side now, we should definitely use that.” Tsukumo nodded.

Slowly, so very slowly, Kirinji lifted his head to look up at the others. “Promise that you won't run off and get yourself killed?”

The others sighed at that question, but nodded in the end.

* * *

Eventually Kohaku and Tsukumo left, again thanking him for the map, while at the same time promising to be careful. It was odd to see both of them smile in sympathy. Still, all he could do was hope they would keep their promise not to do anything stupid.

The rest of the day was mostly spent in peaceful silence, with Hiroto and Masaki being oddly careful and gentle with him, which he honestly didn't mind for once. Usually he hated being treated as if he was made of glass, but right now, it was more than welcome.

Later that night in bed, Hiroto was even more careful with him, for once not kissing him as if he wanted to take his breath away, but all gentle and soft instead. It was so nice. That was until there was a sudden knock on the door.

“Yes?” Hiroto called out.

“Can... I come in?” Masaki sounded oddly hesitant.

Hiroto and Kirinji shared a look before he shrugged and nodded.

“Come in.” Kirinji answered for them both and then watched Masaki slowly open the door and poke his head inside, though kept his eyes down towards the floor.

“Is it okay to come in?”

“Just come on it.” Hiroto told his brother.

Slowly, Masaki opened the door a bit more and then shuffled inside. “I'm sorry if I'm interrupting anything...”

“What do you want?” Hiroto asked, voice gentle since he hadn't seen his brother act like this very often in the past.

“I... I can't sleep.” Masaki admitted.

“Is something bothering you?” Kirinji wondered, not used to see Masaki like this.

“It's just... the stuff with Kamizono... a lot of memories came back up and I... I can't sleep.”

“C'mere.” Hiroto held out one hand towards his brother, inviting him in his bed that way.

This time, Masaki didn't hesitate as he moved over to the bed and under the covers.

“Should I leave you two alone?” Kirinji asked.

“No!” Masaki answered before Hiroto could, quickly reaching over his brother to hold onto Kirinji's shirt. “Stay... please.”

Kirinji looked between Masaki and where he held onto his shirt before he eventually nodded. “Okay.”

“Sorry.” Masaki sighed. “I... just don't want to be alone right now.”

Hiroto glanced over to Kirinji for a moment before he put one arm around Masaki. “You can stay here tonight, Aniki.”

Masaki sighed in relief at that and then curled up around Hiroto as he held him close as if he was a plush toy.

“Sorry.” Hiroto mouthed to Kirinji who only shook his head, while looking at the other two with a sad smile.

“It's okay.” He whispered back and then curled up on Hiroto's other side.

He had already come to the realisation that dating Hiroto also meant being in some sort of relationship with Masaki. And oddly enough, he was okay with that.


	23. Chapter 23

He should've known that this wouldn't be the end of it.

He woke up at some point in the night to Hiroto quietly talking to Masaki who seemed to have a nightmare. He didn't say anything as he watched Hiroto soothe his brother, acting as if he'd done this before. Eventually, the soft whimpers and broken sounds died down and Masaki was back asleep, clinging even more to Hiroto than he had done earlier.

“Sorry.” He heard Hiroto whisper after another couple of moments, having not expected him to have noticed him being awake.

“What are you apologizing for?”

“Didn't mean to wake you.”

“Silly.” Kirinji shook his head and scooted a little bit closer towards Hiroto and leaned his head against his shoulder, hoping he wouldn't mind being crowded even more. “What's with him?” He asked after a minute or two.

“Nightmare.”

“Hmm... What about?”

Hiroto was quiet for a while before he eventually answered with a tired voice. “I'm not sure... Something about Kamizono ruining our lives, I guess.”

Kirinji could barely stop himself from sucking in a sharp breath when he heard Hiroto bring that up. In the end he said nothing and instead moved to lay on his back again, wanting to give Hiroto room since he didn't think he would want him near him right now. That was until he felt Hiroto's arm shift around him and then pull him back towards him.

“Stay.” Hiroto murmured against his hair and then pressed a soft kiss to it.

“Huh...?” The action caught him by surprise, as did him pleading to stay.

“He's not the only one who could use some comfort.”

Now that made Kirinji blink in surprise even more and then let out a shaky breath before he nodded slowly. Part of him wondered how Hiroto did it, still being able to stand to touch him after everything.

“I'll stay.” Kirinji whispered after several moments and then leaned his head back against Hiroto's shoulder.

“Thank you.”

* * *

By the time he woke up again the next morning, he was greeted by the complete opposite of what had happened the other night. Hiroto was trying to wake up Masaki, who had seemingly managed to crawl on top of his brother and was snoring softly against his ear in between drooling on his neck. It was a ridiculous sight to wake up to, especially after last night.

“Good morning.” Kirinji smiled and craned his neck up and pressed a soft kiss to Hiroto's cheek before his eyes went to Masaki who was still completely out of it.

Hiroto stopped in his struggling for a moment to look at him, smiling a bit as he wished him a good morning, though was soon brought back to reality when Masaki nuzzled his face even more against Hiroto's neck. “Ugh... stop it, Aniki!” He protested as he shook Masaki once more, but just like the last time, Masaki continued to be sound asleep.

Watching them for a few more moments, Kirinji couldn't keep quiet any longer and was soon laughing at the other two.

“Stop laughing and help me!” Hiroto demanded.

“Nooo~” Kirinji shook his head, sounding entirely too amused by the situation. “I'll go and start breakfast instead.” He added as he quickly got out of bed before Hiroto could stop him.

“You can't...!” Hiroto stared at him with wide eyes, actually trying to reach for him to stay, but was too late.

“I'm just a little kitty, can't help you~” Kirinji singsonged, waving at Hiroto as he left the room and went to the kitchen.

Ignoring Hiroto's protests that he yelled after him to come back, which soon turned into him trying to wake up his brother, Kirinji put the kettle on before looking through the fridge to see what they could have for breakfast. He was in the middle of setting the table when he heard first a dull thud and then groaning and muffled protests.

“You're unbelievable!” Hiroto told Masaki with an exasperated voice as he came out of his bedroom a few moments later and immediately went to the bathroom. “You drooled on me!”

“I already told you I'm sorry.” Masaki whined as he followed after his brother, though instead of an answer found the bathroom door shut closed in his face.

“Good morning.” Kirinji called over to Masaki who had gone back to rubbing his hips.

“Ah, good morning...” Masaki trailed off when he turned and saw that the kitchen table was already set. “You don't have to... I can make breakfast.”

“It's okay, I've got this.” Kirinji shrugged and then nodded towards Masaki still rubbing his hips. “Everything okay?”

“Huh? Yeah... Hiroto kicked me out of bed, is all.”

“Hmm.” Kirinji nodded in understanding and then patted the back of a chair, prompting Masaki to sit. “Are you feeling better after last night?”

That question seemed to catch Masaki a bit by surprise as he blinked at Kirinji as he sat down, sighing a moment later. “Kinda, I guess.”

“You guess?” He knew it wasn't his business and he really shouldn't poke for answers, especially since it was obvious how on edge the topic made both brothers. Still, after witnessing what had happened last night, he couldn't help but feel concerned.

“It's just... it's been a while since I had nightmares about this.” Masaki shrugged a little before rubbing his neck, looking and sounding so very vulnerable and oddly enough young.

“I probably shouldn't have said anything then.”

“What?! No!” Masaki quickly shook his head. “I'm glad he's gone. It's just... I had the chance to kill him and I... I couldn't...” Masaki trailed off as he lifted his eyes and looked at Kirinji with big eyes. “What if he had gone on and hurt more people, and all because I couldn't stop him?”

“Hey, hey, I'm sure that wouldn't have happen.” Kirinji went closer to Masaki and ruffled his hair while offering him a smile in hopes it would comfort him. “Kamizono screwed up big time. Someone would've ended him sooner or later.”

He knew it was the wrong thing to say when he saw Masaki's eyes going wide and his mouth open in protest, but before he could say anything Hiroto came back out of the bathroom, though stopped short when he saw Masaki looking distraught again.

“What's going on?”

“I think I upset your brother.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“I just told him that he shouldn't worry about not being able to stop Kamizono for good since someone sure would've killed him in the near future.” Kirinji told Hiroto with a shrug.

Hiroto looked at his brother when he heard that and then leaned down to give him a hug. “That man won't be able to hurt us anymore, Aniki.”

Kirinji let them have their moment of peace as he finished setting the table, placing the plate with the toast and the jar with jam on it before he turned to fill the mugs with tea, having decided that it might be better than coffee.

* * *

Breakfast happened in silence, which Kirinji didn't mind, though he couldn't help but feel how weirdly tense and thick the atmosphere was. Thinking about it now, he was glad that he hadn't told Masaki that if Kamizono had still been alive right now, then he would've gone and killed him for them. But even without saying that out loud, he knew that the other two would've only protested, and maybe even questioned whether he could've even managed to do that. He could've and would've done it. They were his family after all. If it made them rest easier, he would've gone and either put a bullet in Kamizono's head or found some other means to end him. He had never minded getting his hands dirty, so doing it now for their sake was something he wouldn't mind at all.

After putting the washed and dried off dishes away after breakfast, he wondered what they should do that day. It quickly became clear that neither brother really felt like going out, though, so the decision was an easy one and they stayed in, which Kirinji didn't mind at all.

Sitting on the couch while mindlessly zapping through TV channels then, he glanced over to the brothers once in a while, taking note of how neither really paid much attention to what was on. In the end, he settled for a channel that displayed cute animal videos, thinking that something cute would surely do no harm.

It was maybe an hour or so later when he looked over to the other two again and saw Masaki leaning with his head on Hiroto's shoulder, eyes half-lidded while holding onto his arm. It didn't seem as if he was even seeing what was on TV, almost as if he was lost in his own mind. He reminded him a bit of a lonely child and the realisation of how much that thought made his heart ache, startled him quite badly.

Placing the remote between himself and Hiroto, Kirinji eventually got up from the couch and went to the bedroom and changed into a pair of sweatpants and a plain, long-sleeved shirt before grabbing his wallet on his way out to the living room.

“I'm going out for a bit.” He told the other two, who both turned their heads and stared at him with wide eyes. Their reaction was really cute, though he could already see them open their mouths in question. “I just need some fresh air. Just stay there and relax. I won't be long.”

With that he was out of the door and down the stairs, only allowing himself to stop and take a deep breath once he was down on the street. He had needed to get away from that suffocating atmosphere before he would've said something and made everything even worse. He knew it was childish to run away like that, but if he had actually the chance to remove himself from such a situation, than he would be a fool to stay. It wasn't that he didn't care. He did. But that was the thing. What was he supposed to do now?

Sighing, he looked back up to their apartment, wondering whether there was a way to make this better, even though he had no idea where to even begin. What would a normal person do in such a situation?

Slowly wandering through the streets, while still keeping an eye over his shoulder the whole time, he eventually came to a halt in front of a pastry shop. Kizzy, Kaito and even Masato had always liked it when he had brought back sweets for them. It had been the only normal thing he had ever been able to do for them to make them happy for a few moments. Maybe it would help Hiroto and Masaki, too.

When Kirinji returned to the apartment maybe half an hour later, he found the TV turned off while Hiroto and Masaki were quietly talking with each other. Though, as soon as they heard him tell them that he was back, they stopped talking and instead turned to look over the back of the couch.

Part of him wondered what had been so interesting or maybe even important to stop their conversation the moment he stepped through the front door, but he knew better than to ask, especially since now both brothers didn't look too well. He'd thought them having some space would be a good thing, but seeing them both look kind of troubled made him reconsider.

“I've got something for you.” He told them after a moment and placed the box with the sweets he'd bought on the kitchen table. That seemed to do the trick and made the other two move as they got up from the couch and come to the kitchen table.

“It's chocolate éclairs.” He said as he opened the box and showed them the sweets inside.

“Why?” Both of them asked at the same time.

“They looked yummy.” Kirinji shrugged, doing his best to downplay the fact that he had spent more than 15 minutes in the pastry shop wondering what to get them. Everything had looked so good that he had almost bought more than just the éclairs.

“Thank you.” Both brothers smiled and then looked at each other and frowned for a moment before they were brought back to reality by Kirinji laughing softly at their antics. At least that hadn't changed.

* * *

“Say...” Masaki began after dinner, looking a little nervous as he glanced over the kitchen table to his brother before he went on. “Hiroto and I were talking about going to visit our parents.”

“Huh?” Kirinji blinked in surprise. Where had _that_ come from so suddenly?

“We would like you to come, too.” Hiroto added, seemingly oblivious to Kirinji's wide-eyed look of surprise and shock.

They... they wanted him to do _what_?!

He wanted to ask them whether they really thought this was such a good idea, but in the end those words wouldn't come out and instead he could only nod dumbly. It was seemingly the right answer as he saw both brothers looking relieved.

“Do they live far from here?”

And just like that the atmosphere was back to being tense as he was confronted with both Hiroto and Masaki looking back at him with wide eyes, appearing as if they'd seen a ghost.

“What...?”

“You... don't know?” Masaki asked.

“Know what?”

“Kamizono didn't just kill our brother. He's also responsible for our parents' death.” Hiroto explained.

Oh...

Suddenly the way Hiroto and Masaki had been acting made a lot more sense, especially with how much Masaki seemed to beat himself up over not being able to stop Kamizono when he had the chance.

“We usually only visit them once a year...” Masaki told him quietly, though soon trailed off with a sigh.

It made Kirinji blink in surprise. Why would they go and only visit so rarely?

“It's too painful, y'know.” Hiroto added when it seemed that his brother couldn't.

Oh.

“How... how long has it been since...?”

“10 years.” Hiroto said with a sigh as he glanced over to Masaki.

That long? Which meant... They had been teenagers back then when...

“If it's really okay for me to come along... then I will.”

“Of course we want you there.” Hiroto reached over and took Kirinji's hand into his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Okay.”

Was he imagining things or was Hiroto's hand shaking slightly?

* * *

Masaki ended up sleeping in their bed again that night, once more clinging to Hiroto, though not as much as the other night.

He hadn't asked for details about what had happened to their parents, figuring that it would only make the situation even more gloomy. He hadn't counted on either brother actually opening up about it. So imagine his surprise when they ended up staying awake for several more hours as he listened to them explain as best as they could what had happened 10 years ago. Their tale went on slowly, with both Hiroto and Masaki having to stop every so often since their voices had cracked so badly that Kirinji had thought they would start crying any moment.

Eventually, the brothers had fallen asleep though, leaving him be the only one still awake.

He still couldn't really wrap his head around the whole thing. All the little pieces had finally fallen into place, though the picture that painted made him almost want to throw up.

He had never thought to be on the other side of his job, to see someone's life be in shambles like that. It left a very bitter taste in his mouth and only question him all the more just how they could possibly stand being anywhere near him, much less sharing so many personal issues with him. Now more than ever before he wished Takeru was here with them instead of him. It was clear that they missed and needed their brother. And all they had instead was a currently useless and forever broken mess.

Sighing, Kirinji shifted slowly to lay on his back instead of leaning against Hiroto's free side and stared up at the ceiling. He wondered whether there was something he could do to help them. But what could someone like him possibly do anyway?

He had no idea how these things worked, how to properly comfort someone who had lost so much.

Closing his eyes, he did his best to suppress a groan as he tried to ignore the nagging voice in the back of his mind snickering at his misery. That's what he got for not having a single meaningful relationship in his life. Then again just _who_ could he possible ask for advice in such a situation anyway? Kohaku was out of the question. He was too close being just as much of a mess as he was. Tsukumo was a non-option since he didn't think he was mature enough for such issues. Smokey, while being mature for his age, was an idiot who had his own issues to work through without him adding to those. Which left Naomi...

Kirinji quickly shook his head. Where had that thought come from? He couldn't ask her for advice in this matter, he thought. It would only feel as if he was betraying Hiroto's and Masaki's trust if he'd tell her about any of this.

Blinking his eyes open again, he looked over to Hiroto and Masaki sleeping and for once actually looking peaceful while doing so. Why had life to be this hard?


	24. Chapter 24

Kirinji didn't really feel like wearing a suit the next day since too many bad memories were linked with them. But seeing that he could hardly wear any of his other clothes while both Hiroto and Masaki would wear suits, made him reconsider, though only a little.

So there he was, dressed in a black suit and white dress shirt, while having decided to keep his hair down with his bangs brushed into his eyes, he was sitting on the couch and watched the weather channel warning that there was a high possibility for rain later that day. He had already figured that much himself going by the dark clouds hanging low in the sky.

“We should probably take the bus.” Hiroto commented from where he leaned against the back of the couch, having quietly come out of his room a couple of moments ago.

“Mmm, that's for the best...” Kirinji agreed as he turned his head, though soon trailed off when he saw just how good Hiroto looked in the suit he was wearing.

Gods, he really was to die for, breathtakingly beautiful.

He hadn't even realized that he was staring, which didn't get any better when Hiroto began to grin at him, nor when he then slowly leaned further down, so close that their lips were almost touching.

“Are you two... ready?” Masaki called out to them as he came out of his room, though stopped in his tracks when he saw the scene in front of him. “Ahh, sorry!” He quickly apologized before ducking back inside his bedroom.

Blinking in surprise, Kirinji pulled back from Hiroto and instead turned his head to look over to Masaki's room, while feeling his face heat up.

“It's okay, Aniki. We're ready to leave.” Hiroto told his brother, while reaching out to gently pet Kirinji's head. “Right?”

“Yes.” He nodded a little as he turned his head back to look up at Hiroto, feeling his face heat up all the more.

“Well... okay.” Masaki nodded to himself as he stepped outside of the bedroom. “We need to stop to buy flowers and cigarettes before we can head out to the graveyard.”

While Hiroto was nodding along to his brother's words, Kirinji stopped and stared at them in utter confusion. He understood the flowers. But cigarettes?

“What for?”

“For Aniki.” Hiroto told him.

While Kirinji didn't really understand that, he knew that they didn't need to go and buy cigarettes.

Turning off the TV, he went to the bedroom and searched through his belongings until he finally found the pack he had bought not too long ago during that second trip to Sannoh.

“Will these do?” He asked the other two as he came back to the living room, almost tripping over his own feet when he saw Hiroto filling alcohol into a flask. He was so caught off guard by the sight that he didn't notice Masaki taking the pack of cigarettes from his hands.

“Why do you have these?”

“They're mine.” He didn't mean to sound so defensive over it, though he wasn't sure why Masaki would look at them with a frown. He was an adult, he could live as unhealthy as he wanted to. Besides, he hadn't touched them in months.

“No no, I mean why you have this specific brand.”

Oh.

“I always go for those.” Kirinji shrugged. “Why? Is something wrong?”

Masaki didn't answer immediately as he continued to stare at the pack in his hands as if he'd seen a ghost. It was only Hiroto coming over to them and finally explaining things to him that managed to put things into perspective.

“Aniki used to smoke the exact same ones.” Hiroto said after several moments of looking at the cigarettes.

Wait... what?!

“I... guess I can go for something else.” Kirinji shrugged, sounding just as helpless as he felt in that moment. He hadn't meant to tear open old wounds, but if it would make them less sad then he could surely find another brand he could stand, even though he didn't smoke as much as he used to anyway.

“It's fine.” Masaki said eventually and slightly shook his head. “I didn't know you smoke.”

“Only sometimes.” Kirinji shrugged. Mostly when he was stressed, though they didn't need to know that.

* * *

Sitting on the bus with the other two then, Kirinji let the brothers sit next to each other, thinking that this would be better considering the whole situation. Every so often he glanced over to them, wondering what they were thinking in that moment. Neither looked comfortable or even well, which didn't make it any easier to see them each holding a bouquet of white lilies.

Even though they had decided to pay a visit to Takeru as well, just seeing how grey and depressing the world looked, they would be lucky not to be caught in the rain that was sure to happen sooner or later. Part of him wished he had told them to do this another time when the weather would be better.

Even though the drive to the graveyard didn't take as long as it had from Sannoh, it was still almost an hour before they arrived. By then, the atmosphere between the brothers was even gloomier than before, while the air outside the city was noticeable cooler and the clouds even darker.

Kirinji let them lead the way while trailing behind them. It was still hard to put one foot in front of another, but part of him thought that it was a little bit easier than the last time they had asked him to accompany them to visit their brother. Back then, he hadn't even managed to make it past the trees, too afraid to go anywhere near the graves.

Eventually arriving at the right grave, Hiroto took a deep breath before he carefully placed the bouquet of white lilies he was carrying on the stone on the ground.

“We're back again already.” Masaki began as he crouched down next to his brother who pulled out the flask from earlier and poured some of its contents over the cross.

“We brought a visitor.” Hiroto told the grave and then turned his head and held out his hand towards Kirinji who took it hesitantly and then knelt down on the ground with a soft sigh.

“I've never met anyone's parents... I don't know what to do.” He admitted eventually with a quiet voice.

“You met other people, right?” Hiroto whispered back.

“You know how that usually goes.”

Despite the situation, Masaki could barely hold back his laughter as he listened to them. “Just be nice.”

Not knowing what was considered nice in such a situation, he decided to do the only thing he knew about. With his one good hand resting on his right knee and eyes closed, he bowed his head so deep that it was almost touching the ground. “It's nice to meet you.”

“You don't need to be that formal.” Hiroto told him as he placed his hand on Kirinji's back, causing his eyes to snap open again and then straighten back up.

“Really?”

“It's okay.” Masaki assured him and then turned towards the grave again. “We wanted to tell you that...” Masaki took a deep breath. “That terrible man that took you and Aniki from us... he's gone now.”

Kirinji looked from Masaki to Hiroto, biting his lower lip when he saw the odd mixture of relief and pain on both of their faces.

“I can leave you alone for a bit if you want.”

“Stay.” Both Hiroto and Masaki said at the same time, for once not seeming to be annoyed with the other.

“Okay.”

They were quiet after that as Kirinji glanced from Hiroto to Masaki and back, his heart feeling oddly heavy when he saw them seemingly lost in thought as they looked at the grave with sad eyes.

Being confronted with it now, he understood why they didn't come here so often. He wished there was something he could say to make them feel better, but what exactly, he wasn't sure.

Looking down at the bandage on his left arm, he couldn't help the soft sigh that escaped him. Well, he knew what he'd want to know if the roles were reversed.

“Your sons grew up to be wonderful young men... kind and strong. You can be really proud of them.” He began with a quiet voice, a sad smile on his lips. “Sometimes they do bicker with each other, but they get along well. They also have friends they can rely on, so you don't have to worry about them being alone.” He took a deep breath before he continued. “I can assure you that they're being loved and safe.” He would make sure of that, no matter what. And if he had to get his hands dirty to keep them safe, then he would.

Glancing at the other two then, he saw them look at him with wide eyes, something that made him wonder whether he had said the wrong thing. The next thing he knew was them hugging him, which honestly took him by surprise.

“You forgot to tell them that you make us really happy since living with us.” Masaki murmured from where he leaned with his head against his shoulder.

The way Masaki phrased it, made Kirinji think he was talking about some pet they adopted. Part of him wanted to protest, but instead he dug his fingers into his thigh to stop himself from saying anything stupid.

“I do?”

“Mhm, you do.” Hiroto agreed and then leaned even closer and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, an action that made his face heat up.

Part of Kirinji wondered whether Hiroto should do something like that in front of his parents, but the words wouldn't come out. Instead, both of them let go eventually as they got up from the ground and then helped him up as well.

“We should go and visit Aniki now while the weather still holds.” Hiroto said as he looked up to the dark grey clouds.

Following after the other two, Kirinji watched Masaki placed the second bouquet of white lilies on Takeru's grave as he crouched down in front of it. Meanwhile, Hiroto emptied the rest of the contents of the flask over the cross, just like he had done earlier. Then, both of them turned and looked at him with eyes full of expectation. It took him embarrassingly long to remember that they were waiting for him to hand over the cigarettes.

“Right... here.” Kirinji gave a slow nod as he handed the pack and lighter over to Masaki who took them while giving him a small smile.

Standing back once more, he watched Masaki light one cigarette and then take one drag of it before he handed it over to Hiroto who did the same. The way they went about it made it clear that neither of them was a smoker, not that it surprised him in the slightest since he had never seen either man do.

“You too.” Hiroto said as he held out the cigarette towards Kirinji, startling him badly.

What?!

“I... I really shouldn't.” He shook his head, hating how unsteady his voice sounded in that moment.

“It's okay, really.” Masaki assured him and then gave him an encouraging nod and smile.

Tentatively, he took the cigarette from Hiroto and then brought it up to his lips and took a long drag of it, closing his eyes as he savored how the smoke burned on his tongue and the back of his throat and then all the way down to his lungs before releasing it again.

Opening his eyes again, he saw both brothers stare at him big eyes. “What?”

“You look sexy like that.” Hiroto whispered against Kirinji's ear, causing his eyes to go wide and his face heat up.

_Wh-what?!_

Almost choking on his breath when he heard that, he barely managed to hand the cigarette back to Hiroto before he had to turn away and cough badly.

Hiroto handed the cigarette to Masaki who placed it next to Takeru's grave before he joined his brother and rubbed Kirinji's back in hopes it would calm him.

“There, there...” Masaki soothed him.

Eventually, he calmed back down, though continued to let his head hang as he still felt his face being way too warm from embarrassment.

“What did you tell him?” He heard Masaki ask his brother, which made his head snap up and first stare at Masaki before he quickly turned to look at Hiroto with wide, pleading eyes, silently begging him _not_ to tell his brothers.

“Nothing important.” Hiroto shook his head and then lean closer to whisper against Kirinji's ear once more. “Sorry about that.”

Breathing a sigh of relief, he looked from Hiroto to Masaki and then to Takeru's grave. “You should tell him about Kamizono. I think he would like to know that the bastard is gone for good.”

Both Hiroto and Masaki nodded and then crouched down in front of the grave once more and did just that. Meanwhile, Kirinji stood back and let them have their peace while looking up at the grey clouds that seem to get darker and darker with each passing minute. It didn't take long before he felt the first droplets of rainwater on his face, which made him curse under his breath.

“We should go back to the bus stop.” He urged them as the rain got quickly worse, while he struggled to take off his jacket as he intended to use it to shield himself from the rain. The next moment, he felt something being draped over his head, which made him stop and blink in surprise.

“Be careful with your arm.” Masaki told him and then turned to Hiroto and took his jacket from his hands and draped it over his head, so he also would be shielded from the rain. “What are you doing? You know how easily you catch colds.”

“I'm not a child anymore.” Hiroto protested weakly, though still accepted his brother's help.

Kirinji continued to stare at Masaki with wide eyes for several more moments before he finally snapped out of his daze. “What about you?”

“Don't worry!” Masaki waved him off and then gently pushed him and Hiroto to move, so they could make a run to the bus stop.

By the time they've made it to the bus stop, the rain was so heavy that even with Masaki's jacket shielding him mostly from the rain, the lower part of his body was almost soaked through, not that the other two looked any better, especially Masaki who looked like a drowned rat.

“We should've come another time.” Kirinji said quietly to himself as he pushed the borrowed jacket off of his head and let it rest over his shoulders instead, while checking the time to see when the next bus would come.

“Are you okay, Aniki?” Hiroto asked Masaki as he pushed his wet hair out of his face and then rubbed his arms to help him warm up.

“I'm fine.” Masaki assured Hiroto, though despite his words he was shivering quite obviously.

“Five more minutes, then we'll be inside the warm bus.” Kirinji told them and then rubbed Masaki's back to help him warm up.

“Thank you.” Masaki nodded. “Is your arm okay? The bandages didn't get wet, right?”

“It's okay.” Kirinji assured him.

By the time the bus finally arrived, Masaki was shivering badly despite Hiroto's and Kirinji's best efforts to keep him warm. Once they were seated, Hiroto put his jacket around his brother before wrapping his arms around him to try and keep him warm.

“Try to bear it. One hour and we'll be home and then you can take a nice hot bath.” Kirinji told Masaki who nodded in response from where he leaned against Hiroto's shoulder.

Sitting back down while ignoring how his wet clothes clung to him, he kept on looking over to the brothers, heart heavy and aching as he saw them look like lost children as they hugged each other close.

* * *

When they eventually arrived back home, Kirinji quickly rushed to the bathroom where he ran Masaki a hot bath, while Hiroto helped his brother out the wet clothes.

“It's probably for the best if you stay with him just in case.” Kirinji commented as he came out of the bathroom to make room for the other two.

“Okay.” Hiroto nodded as he led Masaki to the bathroom. “You'll be okay to wait here for us?”

“Of course.” Kirinji nodded and then sat down by the kitchen table with a sigh. Masaki really didn't have to go that far for him, he thought as he looked over to the closed bathroom door, hoping he would be okay.

Eventually, he stood back up though and went to Masaki's bedroom where he picked out a fresh pair of pajamas and underwear and then went to the bathroom door.

“Can I come in for a moment?” He asked after knocking on the door.

“Come in.” Hiroto called out to him.

“Sorry... I just wanted to put these here.” Kirinji told them as he opened the door and then quickly stepped inside and handed the clothes over to Hiroto who looked at them for a moment before nodding.

“Thank you.”

“What do you have there?”

“Fresh pajamas for you.” Hiroto grinned as he showed his brother who groaned in response and buried his face in his hands.

“What's wrong?” Kirinji asked Hiroto, not understanding Masaki's reaction.

“He's embarrassed, is all.”

“Just because you tried to wash me.” Masaki protested weakly.

“You always want me to pay attention to you.”

“Not like that!” Masaki whined as he sank deeper into the bathtub until the water was up to his neck.

“Silly.” Kirinji smiled as he shook his head in amusement. “We're just worried about you.”

Masaki sighed in response. “I hate the rain...”

“He's like a pouting child.” Kirinji whispered to Hiroto who smiled and nodded in agreement. “I'll leave him to you then.” He added before he left the bathroom again.

It was half an hour later when the bathroom door opened and a pouting Masaki was shoved out by Hiroto.

“Stop acting like a child.”

“I'm not a child.” Masaki protested weakly, face red, as he went to the couch where he sat down with his legs pulled up and his chin resting on his knees.

“What's with him?”

“He's mad that I dried his hair for him.”

That bit of information made Kirinji first blink in surprise and then giggle, part of him wishing he could've seen that.

“C'mon, you next.” Hiroto prompted him.

“Hmm? Are you going to help me, too?” Kirinji tried to mask his own embarrassment with a teasing tone, which seemed to work since Hiroto was now looking at him with wide eyes.

“If you want to.”

“I'll call if I need help.” Kirinji replied and then leaned up and pressed a soft kiss to Hiroto's lips before he went to the bathroom, having already picked out fresh clothes for himself while the other two had been in there.

Once finished with washing and drying off himself and then finally dressed in dry and warm clothes, Kirinji had joined Masaki on the couch, while Hiroto had gone to the bathroom.

It hadn't taken long before Masaki had inched closer and closer before he eventually had laid down with his head resting in Kirinji's lap, who was more than a little surprised by the action.

He really was like a child, he thought to himself and then caught himself reaching out and gently petting Masaki's hair, an action that made him freeze for a moment, though was soon relaxing again.

“Is your arm really okay?”

Was he imagining things or did Masaki sound tired? Maybe he should go to bed instead of laying on the couch.

“Mhm, it is, thanks to you.” He bit his lower lip before he went on. “You didn't have to go that far for me though.”

Masaki shifted a little and then laid one hand on Kirinji's knee, giving it a light squeeze. “Can't bear to lose anymore of my family.”

The confession caused his breath to catch in his throat, while leaving him reeling badly. He knew for a while that Masaki viewed him as a sort of little brother, but he didn't know that his feelings went that far.

“Hiroto and I aren't going anywhere.” He surprised himself with how soft his voice came out, having almost forgotten that he was able to make it sound that way.

“Thank you.” Masaki whispered back after a few moments and gave his knee another light squeeze, seemingly just as surprised by that development.


	25. Chapter 25

Looking back at it, he should've kept a closer eye on Masaki as he had never seen him act so out of it as that afternoon when they had returned from the graveyard.

It started quite harmless with Masaki going to bed sooner than usual that night. Both Kirinji and Hiroto had actually waited for him to show up by their bedroom door, but he never came. Part of him was relieved that he seemed to feel better mentally, or at least good enough to sleep on his own instead of seeking the comfort of his brother.

The next morning, Kirinji woke up to a quiet apartment with the only noise being the muffled sound of the still ongoing rain, meaning that he was the first one awake, which should've rang an alarm bell since Masaki was always the first one up, happily preparing breakfast for them.

He was probably still asleep, Kirinji thought as he pressed a soft kiss to Hiroto's cheek, smiling when he made a soft sound before curling up more under the covers. How cute!

Slowly and carefully getting out of bed, Kirinji went to Masaki's bedroom and very quietly opened the door, sighing softly when he found him still in bed. He'd let him sleep, he decided as he closed the door again and then went to the kitchen and started breakfast.

Not ten minutes later, Masaki came shuffling out of his room, disheveled hair and yawning widely. The moment he saw Kirinji in the kitchen, he stopped in his tracks before rushing over to him.

“I can do that.”

Kirinji looked up from where he stood by the stove and awkwardly managed to make tamagoyaki. “It's fine.” He shook his head and then giggled as he still looked at Masaki with amusement. “Your hair looks ridiculous.”

“Huh?” Masaki blinked in surprise at that.

“It's all disheveled.” Kirinji explained as he reached up and was about to touch Masaki's hair when he ducked out of the way with a startled expression.

“I... I'll go and fix it.” Masaki told him with an awkward smile and then quickly went to the bathroom.

 _That_ should've definitely set off alarm bells because Masaki had _never_ avoided getting spoiled with attention and affection of any kind.

Shaking his head as he looked after him for another moment, Kirinji eventually focused back on making breakfast. It wasn't perfect, but the best he could manage with one good hand. At least that way he wouldn't feel as useless as he had done the last couple of weeks.

A few minutes later, he felt a pair of arms around his shoulders and Hiroto leaning close against his back, something that made him smile and lean just the slightest bit more into the warm embrace.

“Good morning.” He breathed against his neck and then pressed a soft kiss to his ear which sent a pleasant shiver down his spine.

“Good morning.”

“Where's Aniki?”

“Bathroom.” Now that he said it, he realized that Masaki hadn't come back out. How long could it possibly take to fix his hair?

Eventually, Hiroto let go of him and instead went to set the table. It was only when they had placed everything for breakfast on the kitchen table that Masaki came back out of the bathroom.

“Ah, there he is...” Kirinji began, though trailed off when he saw his hair still looking a mess. Just what had he done in there so long if not that?

“You're already finished?”

Was he imagining things or did Masaki sound weird, a little out of breath and... something else? Did he sound rougher?

“Just because you take forever in the bathroom.” Hiroto grinned as he sat down. “You need to make it up to him.”

Kirinji looked from one brother to the other before shaking his head. “You don't have to.”

“It's fine.” Masaki nodded slowly. “I need to buy groceries later anyway. Should I get you anything?”

Kirinji made a face at that before he glanced over to the window. “No, I don't need anything.” He shook his head as he looked back to Masaki. “Do you really wanna go out in this weather?”

Masaki gave another slow nod. “Have to. Maybe I'm lucky and it will stop at some point.”

“We also have an umbrella, y'know.” Hiroto reminded his brother who smiled a bit in response before he fell silent again.

The rest of breakfast happened in silence, while Kirinji glanced over to Masaki every so often, not able to ignore the nagging voice in the back of his mind that he was missing something important. He knew something was off, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it what it was exactly.

“See it stopped.” Masaki called over to Kirinji as he nodded towards the window over the sink before he went back to washing the dishes.

Kirinji only hummed as answer, still trying not to stare at Masaki too obviously in hopes to figure out what was wrong. Was he injured? No, that couldn't be. Hiroto surely would've said something. So then what? The most obvious change was that he was quieter than usual, which _was_ a big deal. Masaki was never quiet, at least not like that. Then again, glancing over to Hiroto, Kirinji noted that he didn't seem to be worried about his brother. Maybe he really was just seeing things that weren't there.

“I'm off then!” Masaki called over to them from where he stood by the door, startling Kirinji out of his thoughts.

Great, he had wasted almost half the morning trying to figure out what was wrong with Masaki, getting so lost in thought that he hadn't even noticed him getting ready to leave.

“Take care!” Hiroto called after his brother before he went back to sweeping the floor.

“Say...” Kirinji began once Masaki was out of the door. “Did you notice something off with Masaki?”

“Hmm...” Hiroto moved his head from side to side as he thought it over. “He's probably still a bit out of it from yesterday and the whole Kamizono thing.” He shrugged. “It's not easy to get over that so fast.”

“I know that.” Kirinji sighed with a single nod. “It's just...”

“You're worried about him?” Hiroto offered with a smile.

Kirinji looked up at Hiroto with big eyes, feeling his face heat up some, before he nodded again in agreement. “Yes.”

“You should tell him. He will love to hear that.”

Now _that_ made Kirinji blush even more before he quickly shook his head. He was worried about him, but that didn't mean that he was going to give him any reason to pick him up and try to hug the stuffing out of him in joy. Then again, as long as his arm was still healing he was probably safe from that.

“You're cute.”

“I'm not cute!” He protested as his shook his head once more, though stopped when he saw the umbrella lean against the door frame. Oh for the love of god!

“You know I like your brother, but he's really scatterbrained sometimes.” He sighed loudly as he pointed towards the umbrella.

“You tell me? I grew up with him.” Hiroto laughed softly while shaking his head. “I don't think he needs it though. It stopped raining...” Just as those words were out of his mouth, the rain could be heard coming down again, just as heavy as before, causing both men to turn to look over to the kitchen window with wide eyes.

“I'll go and pick up Masaki.” Kirinji offered once he caught himself.

“You sure you'll be okay?”

“I'm sure.” Kirinji nodded. “I've already managed to make breakfast. So if I'll do that than I'll really feel accomplished.” He laughed as he went over to the front door and picked up the umbrella.

“Be careful, okay?”

“I will!” With that he was out of the door and down the stairs to the street below.

Masaki had said that he would go grocery shopping, so he would be at the convenience store.

It didn't take long for him to arrive by the store and he quickly went inside, glad to be out of the terrible weather. Upon looking through the aisles though, he quickly realized that Masaki was in fact not there. Just where was he if not here?

Leaving the store again, he looked down the street on both sides, wondering just what was going on. He was about to call Masaki to ask him where he was when he spotted him in the distance, standing under the small awning in front of the pharmacy, slightly jumping from one foot to the other as he looked up at the dark clouds with a worried expression on his face.

He looked almost like a lost puppy, Kirinji thought to himself, surprising himself with that. Where had that thought come from? He sounded almost fond in his own mind.

He was about to call out to him when he saw him step out into the rain and then make a run in his direction.

 _This absolute idiot!_ Kirinji cursed under his breath as he rushed towards Masaki, seemingly surprising him when he finally noticed him.

“What are you doing here?” Masaki asked him, sounding oddly out of breath from the short jog.

“I could ask you the same.” Kirinji sighed, doing his best _not_ to sound as angry as he felt in that moment as he held the umbrella up over the both of them. “I was at the convenience store, but you weren't there.”

Seemingly feeling caught, Masaki ducked his head and smiled awkwardly. “I forgot to stock up our medicine cabinet at home. I've been meaning to do that for a while, so...” Masaki trailed off with a helpless shrug.

Wait... was that what was going on? Masaki realizing that his scatterbrained tendencies might cause them what? Trouble? He was such an idiot.

“C'mon, I'll help you.” Kirinji offered as he began to lead the way back to the convenience store, causing Masaki to blink at him in surprise before he snapped out of his daze and then quickly followed closely after him.

* * *

“I still think you should take a nice hot shower.” Kirinji told Masaki as he opened the front door to their apartment.

“I was only caught in the rain for a couple of moments.” Masaki said as he closed the door behind them. “Besides, I'm already dry again.”

“Hello you two.” Hiroto interrupted them as he came closer to greet them. “Everything okay?”

Kirinji glanced over to Masaki, slightly pursing his lips. “Other than your brother thinking it would be a good idea to run through the pouring rain, again, yes, everything is okay.”

Those words did not only cause Masaki to duck his head and blush a bit, they also made Hiroto turn to look, _really_ look, at his brother with narrowed eyes.

“You okay?”

And gods, did he sound concerned.

“Yes... yes, I'm okay.” Masaki nodded slowly. “I didn't think it would start raining again so soon.”

Seemingly okay with that answer, Hiroto nodded as he reached out and wanted to take the bags from Masaki's hands when he stepped back and around them to go to the kitchen instead.

“It's okay, I can take care of this.”

Now _that_ reaction made even Hiroto narrow his eyes as he looked after his brother.

* * *

That night when they all sat together on the couch, it wasn't just Kirinji being surprised when he saw Masaki lean curled up on the other side of the couch instead of lean against either him or his brother as he usually would do. His eyes were half-lidded and more than often he had to blink them open when they had slipped closed. He looked absolutely out of it, tired and not really there.

Kirinji nudged Hiroto's side as he silently nodded towards Masaki.

“Aniki...”

No answer.

“Aniki... go to bed.” Hiroto told his brother with a quiet voice as he reached over and laid his hand on Masaki's shoulder to get his attention, which made him jump slightly before he turned his head and looked at the other two with tired eyes.

“What...?”

“Bed. Go to bed.” Kirinji told Masaki who seemed to need another moment to realize what they wanted from him before he eventually nodded and then got up from the couch.

“Good night you two.”

Kirinji wished him a good night as he watched him go to his room and then turned his head to look at Hiroto who was seemingly busy looking at his hand with a frown.

“Everything okay?”

“Hm? Yeah... it's nothing.” Hiroto shook his head and then looked over to Masaki's now closed bedroom door, frowning still.

“You don't look as if it's nothing.” Kirinji commented as he leaned with his head against Hiroto's shoulder.

Hiroto was quiet for a long moment before he sighed and then shifted and put his arm around Kirinji's shoulder to pull him just a little bit closer. “Just thought Aniki seemed warmer than usual.”

“You think he's sick?”

“I'm not sure... I don't think I've ever seen him be sick before.”

Now that made Kirinji blink in surprise before he smirked despite the topic. “Everyone gets sick at some point.”

“I've never really seen either of them though.”

Kirinji moved his head slightly to be able to look more properly at Hiroto. Was he talking about both Masaki and Takeru?

“Maybe they just hid it from you, so you wouldn't worry too much about them?”

Hiroto turned his head to look at Kirinji, blinking slowly at him as if only now seeming to realize the obvious. “You think?”

Now, Kirinji was grinning at the surprised look on Hiroto's face, thinking that it was really adorable.

“You're their baby brother. Wouldn't you do the same if it was the other way around?”

“Aniki isn't that much older than me, y'know... but it's a possibility, I guess.” Hiroto shrugged and then got up from the couch and pulled Kirinji with him to their bedroom. “I'll show you.”

Now curious to see where this would go, Kirinji sat on their bed while Hiroto looked through the drawer of his bedside table for a few moments before he retrieved a photo. He didn't show it to Kirinji immediately, instead looked at it for a long moment with a wistful expression.

“That was the last time we were all happy together.” Hiroto said eventually as he showed Kirinji the old photo of his family.

Kirinji's breath caught in his throat when he saw that happy glimpse into a time long gone.

“That's Takeru and... that's Masaki, right?” He said as he pointed at them framing the family on either side of the photo, while Hiroto nodded along in agreement. “So... that's you?” He went on as he pointed at the boy sitting in the middle.

“Yes.”

How cute!

“You look a lot like your mom.” Kirinji commented after another moment of looking at the photo, almost missing Hiroto stare at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. “What?”

“N-nothing...” Hiroto shook his head before he carefully brushed one finger over Takeru in the photo. “Aniki comes after our father.”

Kirinji said nothing as he watched Hiroto for several long moments before he leaned his head against his shoulder. “I guess Masaki comes after his birth mother then?”

“Mhm...” Hiroto nodded, though didn't take his eyes off of the photo, seemingly lost in the past.

“If I didn't know it any better, I'd say you and Masaki are the same age.” Kirinji said quietly after another couple of moments. Both looked so damn young in that photo.

“We're barely a year apart.”

_What?!_

“You're...?”

Finally, Hiroto turned his gaze from the photo to look at Kirinji with an adoring smile. “I may be their baby brother, but Aniki was always more like the baby of the family... and now you're the youngest.”

Kirinji blinked in surprise at that before he pursed his lips. “Mean.”

Laughing softly at his reaction, Hiroto leaned in and captured his lips in a deep kiss which caused them both to fall back against the bed.

Laying cuddled close together in each other's arms later, with Hiroto resting with his head on Kirinji's chest, he hummed softly at the feeling of his hair being played with.

“Let's check on Aniki tomorrow, okay?”

“Mmm, sounds like a good plan.” Kirinji agreed as he pushed some of Hiroto's soft hair behind his left ear and then lightly brushed his thumb over his earring. “Maybe he's really just feeling out of it due to... that other stuff, but he _is_ acting weird lately.”

“That's true... I did notice him being quieter than usual.”

Ah! So he had noticed _that_.

* * *

He wasn't sure how late it was when he woke up again, some time in the middle of the night. The thing that had woken him was... What? Some weird noise he couldn't quite place due not being fully awake, but was certain he had heard it before.

Looking down, he saw Hiroto still sleeping so very peacefully with his head resting on his chest, while he held onto his shirt. It seemed as if Masaki really wasn't the only one who was in need of comfort.

No matter how cute the display was, though, he was still curious to know what exactly had woken him up. Right now the apartment was quiet, so much so that part of him wondered whether he had imagined it all. He was about to close his eyes again and try to go back to sleep when he heard movement in the apartment coming from the bathroom of all places. Holding his breath, he tried his best to listen closely to what was going on. It was only when he heard the footsteps growing quieter as they went in the opposite direction and then the soft click of a door closing, that he finally realized that it was just Masaki being up for whatever reason.

* * *

The next morning, he woke up to a quiet apartment, again. One time he would've understood, but a second time was definitely a sign for concern. Carefully moving out from under Hiroto, while making sure he could continue sleeping for just a little bit longer, Kirinji got up from the bed and then quietly out of the room. Upon stepping out to the living room, he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Masaki sit by the kitchen table with his head resting on his arms as he leaned with his upper body on the kitchen table, looking as if he was asleep.

“Masaki?” He asked quietly as he went closer, seemingly startling him so badly that he sat up straight the next moment, while blinking slowly.

“Ahh... good morning.” Masaki said quietly, voice barely louder than a whisper, while his face was positively flushed.

“Good morning.” Kirinji nodded slowly. “Is... everything okay?”

“Huh? Yeah... just didn't sleep so good last night.” Masaki answered as he got up from the chair and then went over to the kitchen counter and start breakfast.

Kirinji could only sigh at that answer, silently watching Masaki get up and moving around oh so slowly. Something was definitely wrong with him.

“Let me help you, okay?”

“Hm?” Masaki turned to look at him for a long moment before he eventually nodded. “Can you boil the water, please?”

“Sure... Coffee?”

“Mmm, no... let's go for tea today.”

Kirinji didn't comment on the fact that Masaki seemed to prefer something soothing, while also not saying anything when he saw him start to make miso soup. Another food that would be easy to swallow, he thought.

“It's still raining.” He sighed softly after a while as he waited for the water to start boiling. When he didn't get an immediate answer then, he turned his head and saw Masaki staring out of the window with a far-off look on his face. While his face had looked flushed earlier, he now looked oddly pale and sickly.

“Masaki?” He asked as he reached out and carefully laid his hand on his shoulder, mindful not to startle him again.

“Mmm?”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes...” Masaki nodded slowly and then looked down at the stove. “Wanna have a taste to see if it's done?” He offered and then held out a spoon to Kirinji who took it with a single nod.

Taking a spoonful of the soup, Kirinji's eyes lit up at the nice taste. “That's good!”

“I'm glad.” Masaki looked relieved at that. “Go and wake Hiroto, please?”

“Sure! Wait here, we'll help you set the table.” With that he went to the bedroom, though upon glancing back to the kitchen area, he saw Masaki having moved over to sit by the kitchen table again.

Stepping inside the bedroom then, he saw Hiroto having just sat up in bed, smiling when he saw him.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning.” Kirinji greeted him as he went closer and sat down on the bed for a moment. “I think something's definitely wrong with Masaki. I'm not sure if he's sick or if it's something else, but he seems to be even more out of it than yesterday.”

That was apparently all Hiroto needed to hear to get up and out of bed with Kirinji following him out to the living room. They found Masaki still sitting by the kitchen table, though now he was leaning with his head on one hand, looking tired and not really there.

“Aniki?” Hiroto asked carefully as he sat down by the table, looking at his brother with so much concern that part of Kirinji wondered whether he was toying with the idea of simply picking up Masaki and carrying him back to bed. “Are you okay?”

Masaki, meanwhile, only blinked slowly back at Hiroto, seemingly only now having noticed him. “I'm fine.”

“You don't look fine.” Hiroto sighed as he reached out and laid his hand over Masaki's who wasn't quick enough to pull away. “You feel really warm.”

Masaki said nothing, though did look as if he wanted to bolt. However, before he could move away he was stopped by Kirinji who had come to stand by his side and then reached down and placed the back of his fingers against his cheek and then slowly moved his hand up to feel his temple and forehead.

“You're definitely running a fever.”

Masaki didn't answer that, though seemed to have enough decency left in his current state to look sheepish at being caught.

“Since when are you feeling unwell?” Kirinji wondered as he gently petted Masaki's hair, something he seemed to like because the next moment he closed his eyes and then lean a bit more to the side and rested his head against Kirinji's stomach, much to his surprise.

“Three days...” Came the quiet reply a few moments later.

It didn't take long for both Kirinji and Hiroto to put two and two together and conclude that Masaki had been feeling bad since receiving the news about Kamizono's death.

“Why didn't you say anything, Aniki?”

That question seemingly did the trick and made Masaki open his eyes again and gaze back at Hiroto with a sad look in his eyes. “... Didn't want to worry you...”

“You're such an idiot.” Kirinji said quietly to himself.

Apparently not seeing or hearing Masaki protest that was enough for Hiroto to conclude that his brother was really feeling bad. A moment later, Hiroto got up and went to the bathroom.

“Okay...” Kirinji began with a soft sigh as he continued pet Masaki's hair. “You're gonna eat something and then you're going back to bed and sleep.”

“Mmm... 'kay...”

The fact that Masaki went along with that _was_ actually concerning. Before he could mull that thought over more, Hiroto came back out of the bathroom, carrying a thermometer.

“Okay, open up.” He told Masaki as he sat back down, pleased when his brother did as asked. Carefully placing the thermometer under his tongue, they waited in silence until it beeped.

“38,4°C.” Hiroto read aloud and then showed it to the other two.

“No wonder you're feeling lousy.” Kirinji commented as he brushed some of Masaki's hair out of his eyes. “Okay, breakfast now.”

After making sure Masaki wouldn't fall off to the side of his chair, Kirinji began to set the table with Hiroto helping him.

Neither men commented on Masaki not eating much, though both would be lying if they said that they weren't worried about him as they continued to watch him while eating. Once done with breakfast, Hiroto got up and then helped Masaki walk back to his bedroom, with Kirinji following after them.

“Do you wanna take some painkillers?” He asked after Hiroto had tucked Masaki in, who looked as if he was close to crying.

“Please...”

“I'll get them for you.” Hiroto offered and then rushed to the bathroom.

“Is there anything else we can do for you?” Kirinji asked quietly as he sat on the edge of the bed, again gently petting Masaki's hair.

“That's nice...” Masaki whispered, sounding oddly choked up. “My mom... used to do that whenever I was sick.”

Oh.

“Did she do anything else to soothe you?”

“She stayed by my side... and read to me.”

She read to him? He could do that for him, Kirinji thought to himself, though before he could offer Masaki to do that, Hiroto came back to the bedroom, carrying a glass of water and a small pack with painkillers.

Kirinji got up from the bed and out of the way, so that Hiroto could help Masaki sit up and then held out one of the pills and the glass of water to him. Part of him could barely suppress a smile when he saw the face Masaki made when he took the pill in his mouth, though that quickly turned into a frown when he saw Masaki quickly wash the medication down with water, so much so that he almost choked on it, which soon turned into a coughing fit.

“Easy.” Hiroto told Masaki as he took the glass from him and then gently rubbed his back to help him calm down.

“Thank you...” Masaki sniffed and then laid back down with a tired sigh, again getting tucked in by Hiroto.

“Try to sleep, Aniki.” Hiroto said quietly, again sounding so very concerned as he looked at his brother with eyes full of worry while gently petting his hair.

“Don't worry, okay? We're gonna stay by your side.” Kirinji told Masaki, hoping the promise would help him fall asleep instead of struggling to stay awake.

“Thank... you...” Masaki breathed out, blinking slowly for several moments until his eyes slipped closed.

They continued to stay by Masaki's side for several more minutes, silently watching him sleep while both looking worried.

“I can't believe he would lie about being fine when he was feeling this bad.” Hiroto said eventually.

“He didn't want to worry you.” Part of him could understand where Masaki had come from with this. Still, seeing Hiroto being even more worried now, made his heart ache.

“Stay with him, okay? I'll take care of the dishes.” Kirinji offered and was about to leave when he was stopped by Hiroto holding onto his right arm.

“It's quicker if I do it.” Hiroto reminded him, eyes flickering briefly to his bandaged, left arm. “You stay with him.”

Kirinji was about to protest when Hiroto was suddenly up on his feet and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“You're just as worried, right?” With that Hiroto left the room, leaving him back to stare after him with wide eyes.

While it was true that he was worried, he thought Hiroto would prefer to stay by his brother's side seeing as he was more worried than he had ever seen him be before. Glancing back to Masaki who was fast asleep, Kirinji quickly went to the other bedroom and looked through his books to see whether he had something fitting he could read to Masaki later. Eventually he settled on the anthology with short stories Masaki had bought him.

Book in hand, he went back to Masaki's room and sat down on the empty side of the bed and resumed gently petting Masaki's hair in hopes it would help him have some pleasant dreams. That went well until it didn't and he noticed Masaki's face twisting up in what he assumed pain. He was about to call out to Hiroto when he heard Masaki whimper that he realized he must've experience a nightmare. Carefully leaning closer, he was finally able to make out just what he was saying, though that realisation did nothing but break his heart. He was crying out for his mother.

He didn't know what had possessed him to brush Masaki's hair out of his face and then lean even further down and press a soft kiss to his forehead, noticing once more just how hot his skin felt. “It's okay.” He murmured, doing his best to use the same soft tone he had used before when trying to comfort either brother in the past.

Apparently that and him continuing to pet Masaki's hair did the trick to make him calm down again, though it didn't take long before he noticed the tears in his eyes.

“Mom...” The broken plea made his breath catch in his throat and prompted him to do something even more ridiculous he'd never thought he'd ever do.

“Shh... I'm here.” Kirinji soothed him with a soft voice and then brushed the back of his fingers over Masaki's forehead and then slowly down his cheek to wipe away his tears with his thumb. He continued to do that for a few moments before he went back to petting his hair.

It was seemingly enough to calm Masaki further down, which made Kirinji smile with relief. He was so caught in the moment that he almost missed Hiroto leaning in the doorway while watching them with adoring eyes.

“I'm starting to think Aniki was right to say that you're motherly.”

Kirinji's eyes widened while he felt his face heat up when he heard that, having not expected Hiroto to witness him acting foolish. “I'm not...!” He protested with a quiet voice, mindful not to wake Masaki. He was the furthest anyone could be from being... _that_.

“No?” Hiroto smiled as he came closer to them.

“No... definitely not!” Kirinji shook his head, blushing still.

“Mmm, but you're taking such good care of my brother, and even of me when I wasn't doing so well.” As he said that, Hiroto sat down on the edge of the bed and then reached out to feel Masaki's forehead, frowning when he felt just how hot his skin was. Without saying another word, he stood back up and left the bedroom. When he came back not even a minute later he carried a bowl with cold water and a cloth. Setting the bowl down on the bedside table, he wetted the cloth and then wrung it out before carefully placing it on Masaki's forehead, who let out a soft sigh in his sleep.

It was ridiculous, really, both Masaki and Hiroto were far more motherly than he was, he thought to himself as he watched Hiroto take care of his brother.

“What's with the book?” Hiroto asked eventually when he turned his attention towards him.

“Masaki said that your mom used to read to him whenever he was sick, so...” Kirinji shrugged, feeling oddly embarrassed at having to explain himself.

“Ah yes...” Hiroto nodded and then sat down more properly on Masaki's other side. “Do I need to be sick to get you to read to me, too?”

Kirinji blinked in surprise at that before looking down at the book on his lap. “No...” He began with a small smile slowly growing on his lips. “You just have to say a word and I'll read to you any time.”

“Please read to me then.” Hiroto asked while smiling as he reached out and gently petted Masaki's hair.

Kirinji's breath caught in his throat and he needed a moment to snap out of his daze before he finally nodded. “Okay.” Picking up his book, he looked through it to search for a nice story before he began to read to Hiroto with a quiet voice so he wouldn't disturb Masaki's sleep.

* * *

It was almost two hours and several of the short stories in his book later, that Kirinji stopped reading. Looking over to Hiroto, he saw him gaze back at him with adoring eyes and a soft smile, which made his heart speed up noticeable.

“What?”

“Mmm... nothing.” Hiroto shook his head and then carefully leaned over his sleeping brother and kissed Kirinji on the lips. “... Just really like you.”

Kirinji blinked in surprise, feeling his face heat up. “I really like you, too.”

That was the furthest either of them had ever gone to admitting how they felt about each other without using the big word for what was going on between them. Part of him _wanted_ to attach _that_ word to their relationship, while another part of him feared that it was too soon. Meanwhile another, much smaller part wondered if he wasn't just rushing things, especially considering the current situation. He wasn't a romantic, but when he would say it, he wanted it to be special.

“We should think about what to do about cooking.” Hiroto said eventually after they both had settled back against the headboard.

“Hm? I'll cook.” Kirinji said matter-of-fact while shrugging.

“With only one hand?”

“I'll manage. Besides, you can help me.”

Hiroto was quiet after that for the longest time before he spoke up again. “I can't cook.”

The confession made Kirinji stop and stare before he began to laugh softly.

“Don't laugh.” Hiroto pleaded. “Aniki always cooked...” He began as he tried to explain himself with a helpless look on his face, though was quickly waved off by Kirinji.

“I'll show you.”

“Huh?”

“Not huh.” Kirinji grinned. “I said I'll teach you how to cook. It's not hard, I promise.”

“You'd do that?”

“Of course.”

“Hmm... you know how to cook, clean and take care of a sick person... Even if you say you aren't motherly, you'd certainly make a good housewife.”

“If anything, I'd prefer the term househusband.” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself, but once he realized _what_ he'd just said, he snapped his mouth shut while slowly looking over to Hiroto to check his reaction. Imagine his surprise when all he saw was Hiroto look at him in surprise before it made way for the same adoring smile from earlier.

“Would you be content with that, being a househusband?”

What?

“I...” He had never thought about it. While it was true that he needed to start thinking about what he wanted to do with his life from now on, he hadn't counted on Hiroto more or less taking the decision out of his hands with his question. If he was honest, he wouldn't mind such a life, being allowed to be himself while living together with the people he cared about the most.

Gaze shifting between Hiroto and Masaki and back as he mulled the thought over a bit more, Kirinji eventually nodded slowly. “I wouldn't mind that.”

He wasn't sure what to make of Hiroto's pleased smile, though it certainly looked to be on the positive side.

A househusband, huh? He'd never thought about that option.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fyi: 38.4 °C = 101.2 °F


	26. Chapter 26

Masaki slept through most of the day, only waking twice because he was thirsty, but went right back to sleep after they had helped him drink some water.

It was weird seeing him so out of it, but at least he didn't seem to have anymore nightmares, but maybe that was just due to them taking turns petting his hair.

They'd decided to go for sandwiches for lunch since it was simple and quick, while both being aware that they probably needed to cook something for dinner, seeing that they should get some food into Masaki.

“How about rice porridge?” Kirinji asked as he stood in front of the open fridge for just a moment longer before closing it again with a soft sigh. He should've questioned Masaki not just rushing off to the pharmacy, but also what kind of food he had bought the other day. He had known damn well that he was sick, but instead of saying anything, he'd went out of his way to get things that were easy to prepare while stocking up on medication. He was such an idiot, and if he wasn't currently as sick as he was he would've shaken him by the shoulders while telling him such.

“Sounds good.” Hiroto nodded. “From what I remember, Aniki said that it was easy to make.”

“It is.” Kirinji agreed as they went back to Masaki's room where he sat down on the empty side of the bed.

“Will you teach me?” Hiroto grinned as he joined Kirinji on his side of the bed instead of sitting on Masaki's other side as he had done before.

“Sure. But it's really nothing fancy.” Kirinji smiled as he pulled the blanket around them.

At some point in the afternoon, Hiroto had brought the blanket from their bedroom over to Masaki's, so he could have his blanket for himself, while they could cuddle under theirs without disturbing his sleep.

“Don't care.” Hiroto shook his head before he leaned it against Kirinji's chest. “I wanna know how to cook, so I can be more of help.” He added with a sigh as he reached out and gently petting Masaki's hair.

Even if Hiroto wouldn't admit it outright, it was obvious just how worried he was for his brother.

Humming softly, Kirinji reached up and played with Hiroto's hair as he watched him with a small smile. “Say...”

“Hm?”

“Did Masaki always cook... even when Takeru was still there?”

Hiroto was silent for several long moments, making Kirinji fear he had torn into old wounds, that was when he heard him speak up again.

“Mhm. Aniki... Takeru, I mean, he tried to cook when it was just us... but it soon became clear that he didn't really know his way around the kitchen. He knew how to clean, but it was better not to let him anywhere near a stove.”

Kirinji didn't say anything as he listened to Hiroto recount the past with a quiet voice. He would be lying if he said that he wouldn't have liked to see the Amamiyas as teenagers trying to navigate life. Then again, he knew how he had been back then and considering that, it was probably for the best that they hadn't met. It would've ended in a disaster for sure.

“He always protected us...”

“I'm sure he would be proud to see you and Masaki taking such good care of each other.”

“Mmm... he always said that we're overdoing everything we do.” Hiroto moved his head to look up at Kirinji from where he leaned against his chest.

“Hmm, I can't disagree with that.” Kirinji grinned as he stroked his hand from Hiroto's hair down his cheek.

“Mean.” Hiroto pouted a bit, though didn't sound angry.

“Told you I'm not nice.” Kirinji murmured as he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Hiroto's forehead.

“You're nicer than you give yourself credit for.” Hiroto whispered as he leaned his head back down to rest against Kirinji's chest.

It was a good thing he'd done that, so he wouldn't have seen Kirinji stare at him in surprise at such foolish words. He wondered, though, whether Hiroto could tell just how much faster his heart was beating now. He probably could since he was leaning with his ear right over where his heart was. Thinking about it now, Hiroto seemed to like to lean against him like that ever since his little freak-out in the bathroom a couple of weeks ago. What was it he had said, that Masaki wasn't the only one in need of comfort?

“Hiroto... am I a shoulder... no, a wall for you to lean on?”

He swore he felt Hiroto freeze at his words before he saw him slowly turn his head to stare up at him with wide eyes.

“What...?”

He wasn't sure what to make of Hiroto's wide-eyed stare, nor of his breathed out question that sounded so very confused. He didn't know whether he should repeat himself or apologize for his words, but before he had time to mull those thoughts over more, he felt Hiroto move.

He should probably apologize, he told himself as he tried to ignore his heart sinking, certain he had definitely overstepped some boundary. That was when he realized that Hiroto wasn't moving off of him but actually lean up and closer, so close that he could feel his warm breath dance over his face. Before he could ask Hiroto what he was thinking, he had already cupped his face with both of his hands and then captured his lips in a deep kiss.

What had brought that on, it hammered through Kirinji's mind as he quickly felt all other thoughts fly right out of the window as Hiroto shifted even closer while deepening the kiss more.

“Nngh...” He couldn't help the soft moan that escaped him nor the barely audible hiss that followed it when Hiroto chose to bite his lower lip, most certainly in an attempt to silence him. Why was he even kissing him like that if he didn't want him to make a sound, all while his brother was sleeping right next to them? A tiny part of him, that was still able to make its presence known, wondered whether Hiroto was into the idea of getting caught. And as thrilling as that thought was, he'd never thought he'd be the one to stop someone as breathtaking as Hiroto from kissing him.

“We shouldn't...” He breathed out, though soon found Hiroto's fingertips gently pressed over his lips to make him be quiet, while at the same time his other hand had moved to rest on his hip and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Shh...” Hiroto shushed him as he slowly kissed up Kirinji's cheek and then over to his ear, which soon turned into him nibbling on his lobe.

All the while Kirinji had to actually bite his lower lip so he would keep quiet while he felt his face heat up more and more as his heart was beating a mile a minute by now. It went well more or less until Hiroto decided to kiss over his ear. And as if that wasn't bad enough, he could soon feel his hot tongue lick over the shell of his ear before he had even time to process the first part.

They really shouldn't be doing that right now!

“You're so cute.” Hiroto smiled against his ear before he pressed another soft kiss to it, which did absolutely nothing to help his blush and only made his face turn even redder.

He was about to say something when he heard Masaki make a soft sound that quickly turned into a rough-sounding coughing fit which resulted in him letting out a pained groan eventually as he slowly blinked his eyes open, looking weary despite having slept for so long.

“Aniki?” Hiroto asked carefully after having shifted off of Kirinji to focus on his brother instead.

The shift in behaviour was actually interesting to watch. It was so sudden and yet it felt completely genuine. How curious.

“Hir... o...” Masaki breathed out, voice cutting off weirdly, which made their eyes go wide.

“Shh Aniki, it's okay, we're here.” Hiroto did his best to soothe his brother as he brushed his hair out of his face and then gently caressed his cheek.

Kirinji knew how much they bickered at times, but right now there was nothing of that noticeable, only so much concern and love.

“Try to rest your voice.” Kirinji suggested to Masaki. “Only nod or shake your head, okay?”

Masaki nodded slowly when he eventually looked over to him. “... 'kay.” He mouthed.

“Hiroto will stay with you while I'll get you something to drink.” With that he got up and out of bed to go to the kitchen to retrieve a glass of water. When he came back to the bedroom, he saw Hiroto having helped Masaki sit up while letting him rest with his head against his shoulder.

“Here you go.” He said as he handed Hiroto the glass and then watched him help his brother drink before helping him lay back down.

“You should try to eat something.” Hiroto began, but was quickly interrupted by Masaki shaking his head.

“Not hungry...” He whispered back as he closed his eyes again, which caused the other two to sigh.

“Not even a soup?” Kirinji suggested.

Masaki was quiet for a long while, so much so that the other two wondered whether he had already fallen back asleep when he answered with a barely audible whisper. “... 'kay.”

“I'll make him a soup, while you stay with him.”

“But...”

“It's okay.” Kirinji lightly shook his head. “I can manage on my own. Besides, you don't wanna leave him, right?”

He saw Hiroto's eyes widening at that, though eventually nodded.

The soup, which was just broth if he was honest, didn't take long before it was done. He had decided to make a bit more, so they could all have something warm to eat. Once finished, he went back to the bedroom and poked his head inside, smiling when he saw Hiroto lay next to Masaki while holding his hand.

“Say... do you have a tray?”

“Mhm, yes.” Hiroto nodded and then sat up before he helped Masaki sit up, too. “Okay?”

“Mmm...” Masaki nodded as he heavily leaned back against the headboard.

“I'll get everything.”

Nodding, Kirinji went to sit down on the empty side of the bed.

“How are you feeling?” He asked as he reached out and felt Masaki's forehead, frowning when he found him being still hot to the touch.

“So-so.” Masaki shrugged slightly, actually leaning into the touch, which made Kirinji shift a little and then carefully pull Masaki closer with his right arm so he could lean his head against his shoulder. “Thank you...”

Part of him wanted to ask what Masaki was thanking him for, but before he could do so Hiroto came back in to the room, carrying a tray with three bowls of soup.

“Here we go.” He smiled when he placed the tray on Masaki's lap. Though before he could take the bowl and begin to eat, Hiroto had already picked up both the bowl and a spoon. “Say ahh...”

“Wha-what are you doing?” Masaki spluttered out when he saw Hiroto holding out a spoonful of soup to him, face getting even redder than it already was due to fever.

“Feeding you.” Hiroto told his brother matter-of-fact, while smiling warmly at him.

“I'm not a child... I can eat myself.” Masaki pouted, which caused Kirinji, who had followed the whole exchange with amused, to start laughing softly.

“Don't laugh...” Masaki begged him with a breathless whisper, still eyeing the held out spoon warily.

“Aww... c'mon Masaki-chan, you always beg us to spoil you with attention.”

“ _M-Masaki-chan_?!” He squeaked, the pitch of his voice increased noticeable, while his face turned even redder at being called that.

Kirinji continued to look at Masaki with amusement before he reached out and caressed his cheek, smile slipping some when he felt just how warm he was. “Shh... I'm just teasing you.” He soothed him and then gently turned Masaki's face back towards Hiroto, who still held the spoon with soup out to him. “And now be a good boy and let us help you.”

“Good... boy...?” Masaki questioned with a quiet voice. In that moment, he sounded really young. Sucking in a shaky breath, he eventually nodded and obediently opened his mouth to allow Hiroto to feed him, while looking so very embarrassed about it the whole time.

Eventually all the soup was gone and Masaki quickly curled up under the covers to hide, still blushing madly. Meanwhile, Hiroto and Kirinji also ate their soup, while watching the Masaki shaped lump under the covers with small smiles. Once finished, Hiroto brought the dishes back to the kitchen where he washed and dried them.

At the same time, Kirinji shifted a bit until he laid properly down and then carefully lifted the blanket Masaki was still hiding under and saw him gaze back at him with big eyes, a sight that made him smile softly.

“Are you still pouting?”

He didn't get an answer, though did see Masaki nod slowly eventually. How cute!

Wait... where had _that_ thought come from?

“Should I read to you?”

Again, Masaki didn't answer and instead closed his eyes. Kirinji swore he could see him blush even more before he finally got a quietly whispered response.

“Please...”

Hiroto was right, Masaki may be the oldest, but he did act like the baby of the family and was entirely too cute while doing so.

Reaching out, he gently tugged on Masaki's arm to make him come out of his hiding place and lean a bit more against him before he picked up the book he had been reading earlier. He was halfway through the first page when Hiroto came back in to the room, though stopped by the doorway and watched his brother lay curled up by Kirinji's side.

“Can I join you two?” Hiroto asked, though didn't wait for an answer as he already crawled under the covers and cuddled close to Kirinji. “He's good at this, right?” He asked his brother as he reached over and brushed some of his hair out of his face.

“Mhm... he is...” Masaki agreed and leaned a bit more with his head on Kirinji's chest. It didn't take long before his eyes started to drift closed though.

Kirinji continued to read even when it became clear that Masaki had fallen back asleep. After some time, he felt more and more sleepy himself not least due to feeling all warm thanks to both Amamiya bothers laying cuddled close against him, so much so that he had to blink his eyes open forcefully more than once. At some point, he was vaguely aware of Hiroto taking the book from his hands with a soft kiss to his lips.

“Wha...?”

“Shh... sleep.” Hiroto hushed him with a quiet voice and pressed another soft kiss to his lips before he laid back down, again cuddled close to his other side.

* * *

When he came by again, he was alone in bed and the thing that had roused him was the same strange yet familiar noise from the other night. Now curious to figure out just what was going on and more importantly where the other two had disappeared to, Kirinji got out of bed and went to the bathroom. The scene that greeted him was not what he had expected to find, with Masaki sitting on the edge of the bathtub, looking shaken and flushed, while Hiroto stood next to him and petted his hair.

“Hiroto? Did something happen?”

“Ahh...” Hiroto turned towards Kirinji and greeted him with a soft nod. “Aniki wasn't feeling so well...”

“Huh?” Kirinji went closer towards them and then leaned down a bit to be able to have a proper look at Masaki, who was quite obviously shivering, before his gaze went up to Hiroto. “Was he sick?”

“Yes.”

“Poor thing.”

“... am still here...” Masaki protested quietly, voice sounding a little rougher than usual.

“Were you already feeling this bad last night?” Kirinji wondered as he crouched down in front of Masaki and reached out to feel his cheek and forehead. He didn't really need an answer since it was obvious now what had happened the other night. He really should've kept a closer eye on him.

Meanwhile, Masaki only hummed in response, while leaning into the touch.

He was really warm, he thought to himself and bit his lip. “Did you check his temperature again? It feels like his fever went up.”

Eyes widening when he heard that, Hiroto quickly retrieved the thermometer and then, after prompting Masaki to open his mouth, carefully placed it under his tongue, while they waited in silence until it beeped.

“38,8°C.”

“We should probably get him to a doctor tomorrow before his fever gets any worse.” Kirinji suggested.

“No doctor...” Masaki protested weakly, though was quickly interrupted.

“You didn't tell us how sick you were, so you won't get a say in this.” Kirinji chided Masaki, though kept his voice gentle.

“Mean...”

“Yeah, you better get used to it. I'm your mean little brother.” Kirinji told Masaki as he straightened back up and then petted Masaki's hair gently as he tried to ignore him stare up at him with wide eyes, seemingly caught off guard by his words. Not that Hiroto's reaction was any better. “C'mon, back to bed with you before you pass out and have to sleep in the bathtub.”

Stepping out of the bathroom to make room for the other two, he watched Hiroto help Masaki walk back to the bedroom and into bed, where he, again, tucked him in before placing the cool cloth on his forehead once more.

“Should I get us a car tomorrow?” Kirinji wondered when both he and Hiroto laid next to Masaki in bed then.

“No car...” Masaki protested quietly.

“Hush... I'm not asking you.” He told Masaki as he petted his hair.

“Might be for the best. I mean, I could carry him...” Hiroto trailed off when he saw Kirinji look at him with raised eyebrows. “What?”

“I'm certainly not doubting your strength, but I'm not sure if I'm able to take care of both of you should you throw out your back.”

Hiroto blinked in surprise before he began to laugh and shake his head, clearly amused. “I'm capable of carrying him just fine.”

“You already did?” He didn't mean to sound so eager, but he couldn't help himself.

“Mhm, I did.”

“... am still here...” Masaki protested quietly as he looked between the other two while they made plans about him without asking for his opinion.

“Yes, but you aren't being asked.”

* * *

The next morning after breakfast, which was crackers and broth, Hiroto was getting more and more annoyed with his brother who refused to let him help him dress.

“I'm going to carry you in your pajamas to the doctor.” Hiroto threatened, hands in his hips as he stood over his brother who had gone to hide under the covers again.

“Leave me alone...” Masaki whined as he pulled the blanket over his head.

“That's not going to happen!” Hiroto told his brother as he began to tug on the blanket.

Masaki had trouble not losing his grip on the blanket as he tried to pull it back. “Noooo...!”

Meanwhile, Kirinji had trouble to stiffle the laugh that threatened to overtake him as he followed the whole ridiculous scene. “Just pick him up with the blanket.” He suggested. “Roll him in like a burrito.”

“Whose side are you on?” Masaki gasped out, momentarily losing his grip on the blanket as Hiroto finally managed to pull it off and away. “No! That's cold!” He complained as he curled up now that the warm blanket was gone.

“Then get dressed.” Hiroto told him with a much softer voice as he sat down on the bed and reached out to feel Masaki's forehead. “You're still burning up.”

“... Don't like doctors...” He whined as he curled up more.

“We'll be with you the whole time.” Kirinji offered as he sat down on the other side of the bed and then carefully laid his hand against Masaki's back. “Should we buy you something nice after we're done with the doctor?”

“I'm not a child.” Masaki breathed out, though eventually uncurled much to Hiroto's relief.

Eventually, they managed to get dressed and then were on their way to the doctor's office, with Masaki burying his face against Hiroto's neck, who had decided to give his brother a piggyback ride. Kirinji, who walked besides them, was torn between being amused and feeling sorry for Masaki, who was clearly embarrassed by the whole thing.

Once there, they went to the front desk and notified the receptionist that they would like to see a doctor. Sitting down, Hiroto began to fill out the registration form, while letting Masaki read over his shoulder to check that he did everything correctly. Once done, he returned the paperwork and waited together with the other two until it was their turn.

“Shh, we're right here.” Kirinji whispered for Masaki to hear as he gently rubbed his arm to offer him comfort.

Masaki only nodded in answer as he leaned more against his brother with a sigh and tried to calm down. However, that didn't stop him from flinching when the nurse called his name.

Hiroto helped his brother up and then walk to the doctor's office, while Kirinji followed behind them.

Sitting down on the examination chair, Masaki did his best to stay put, even though he looked as if he was ready to try and run away, while the nurse did basic things like checking his blood pressure before writing something down and telling them the doctor would be in soon.

“It's going to be okay. You've made it this far... just a little bit more and we can go back home.” Kirinji reassured Masaki who looked as if he wanted to be anywhere than here.

A few moments later, the doctor came in and after greeting them, asked Masaki how he was doing and for his symptoms. As best as he could, he managed to whisper out his symptoms. Sore throat, coughing, nausea, fatigue, and fever. The doctor checked his temperature, which had thankfully not gone up any higher, took a look at the back of his throat with a flashlight, and then wrote something down. In the end, he prescribed him some stronger fever medication and antibiotics.

After thanking the doctor, Hiroto helped Masaki back up while Kirinji took the prescription before they left.

“How about we bring him home and then I'll go and get these filled?” Kirinji offered.

“You sure?”

“Of course.” Kirinji nodded and then turned his gaze to Masaki who had gone back to hide his face against Hiroto's neck as he was carried back home. He really was cute, he thought to himself, they both were.

* * *

Once they were back home, Hiroto helped Masaki change back into his pajamas and in bed, while Kirinji stood by the doorway and watched them with adoring eyes, not even realizing what he was doing until Hiroto turned towards him and looked at him with surprise for several moments before he smiled.

“You're cute.” He told him as he came over to Kirinji and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.

“Mmm, _you_ are... you both are.” Kirinji smiled, briefly closing his eyes at the kiss. Gods, he had it so bad for him.

Taking a deep breath to calm down, Kirinji opened his eyes again and then leaned up to steal a quick kiss from Hiroto before stepping back. “I'm off now.” He told him with a wave of his hand. “Make sure that Masaki gets some sleep.”

“Take care.”

“I will!”

He had barely stepped out of the door and was halfway down the stairs that he saw Kohaku who looked just as startled as he did.

“What... what are you doing here?”

“I haven't heard from you guys in a while and wanted to check in on you.”

He should've called first, Kirinji thought to himself as he glanced back to their apartment.

“It's not a good time right now.” He began as he walked down the rest of the stairs.

“Hm? Did something happen?”

Sighing, Kirinji wondered just how much he should tell Kohaku, or better how much the other two would comfortable with him knowing about. Turning, he saw Kohaku follow after him instead of going up to the apartment. How curious.

“What happened? Is someone injured?”

“No, nothing like that... Masaki came down with a bad cold.”

He saw Kohaku stop and stare at him for several moments before he managed to catch himself and then hurry to catch up with him, reminding him a bit of a puppy, as ridiculous as that thought was to him.

“I didn't think that guy was able to get sick.”

“Everyone gets sick sometimes.” Kirinji sighed, not believing that he was having the same conversation with Kohaku that he had with Hiroto the other day.

“I know, still... Where are you going?”

“Picking up Masaki's medicine.” He'd honestly thought that would be the end of it and Kohaku would decide to leave then and there. Imagine his surprise when he, instead, accompanied him all the way to the pharmacy.

“You can go home, y'know.” Kirinji told Kohaku when he saw him follow after him to the convenience store once he was done at the pharmacy.

“No. Let me help you.”

He wasn't sure what to make of that small smile Kohaku gave him nor of him taking the basket from his hand as he motioned for him to lead the way. He wasn't an invalid, he could very well take care of these things on his own.

He bought apples and oranges next to a jaw of honey, a choice that made Kohaku smile all the more, though he tried to ignore it.

“You really care about them, don't you?” Kohaku asked him out of the blue when they were on their way back to the apartment, still smiling that stupid happy smile.

Of course he did. What kind of question was that?

Taking the bag from Kohaku's hands, Kirinji turned to him with a smirk, hoping the next words out of his mouth would shock him just as much as the news about Masaki's illness had done.

“They're my precious family.”

Kohaku's reaction was immediate, coming to a halt midstep as he stared at him with wide, disbelieving eyes.

“Thank you for your help, Kohaku, but I can take it from here. Have a safe trip home.” Kirinji inclined his head towards Kohaku, who still stared at him in silence, before he turned on his heels as he went on his way back home.

* * *

He didn't announce that he was back, not wanting to wake Masaki in case he was sleeping.

“Hey.” Hiroto greeted him quietly when he came out of Masaki's bedroom the next moment. “What did you buy?” He wondered when he saw the bag.

“Apples, oranges and this...” Kirinji beamed as he showed Hiroto the jaw with honey. “If Masaki complains about his meds, he can have a sweet treat as reward.”

“I'm a little jealous with how much you spoil him.” Hiroto joked, which caused Kirinji to raise an eyebrow in response.

“Can you open it, please?” He prompted Hiroto the next moment, while he went to retrieve a spoon. Once the jaw was open, he picked up a small amount of honey and then ate it while being deliberately messy about it so that some of the honey would end up on his lips. Once done, he went closer to Hiroto and then grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him down into a deep kiss, making sure that he would be able to taste the honey as he got enough of it on his lips as well. It seemed to be going over well, because not only did he feel Hiroto kiss him back, but also heard him make small needy sounds that he swore were moans.

“Happy now?” Kirinji asked when he broke the kiss, though stayed close as he gazed up in Hiroto's eyes.

“Uh huh...” Hiroto nodded, completely red in the face as he blinked slowly as if in a daze, before slowly licking his lips to savoring the sweet taste of honey.

“You're cute.”

As expected Masaki had complained about the meds the doctor had prescribed him, though in the end had accepted when Kirinji had promised him a sweet treat if he complied. He had visibly perked up when he'd been offered the tea with honey in it. Apparently it had been just what he had wanted without asking for it.

Such a silly man.

* * *

Later that night, laying in bed with both brothers, again, cuddled close to him, his mind replayed Kohaku's question from earlier. Of course he cared about those two. They had given him a chance he still didn't think he deserved, next to a warm home, while allowing him to be himself to the point of him having began to feel actually protective of them.

It was weird in a way, he thought as he played with Hiroto's hair, careful not to wake him. How had they even managed to worm their way into his heart? Had he really been that soft to begin with for them to accomplish this that easily?

Sighing softly, he looked over to Masaki who slept so peacefully thanks to the meds. He'd never thought he'd be comfortable with anyone cuddling close to him, but here he was, not just accepting Hiroto doing just that, but also welcoming Masaki do the same, completely without any ulterior motive.

They really were his precious family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 38.8 °C = 101.8 °F


	27. Chapter 27

“You're good at this.” Kirinji smiled warmly from where he leaned against the kitchen counter as he watched Hiroto cook.

“It's just rice porridge.” Hiroto shook his head in amusement.

“Still... I gotta praise you, so you'll have enough confidence for more advanced dishes.”

“Oh?” Hiroto turned his head towards Kirinji and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “So you're gonna praise me even more then?”

Before Kirinji could answer, though, they heard a soft cough coming from Masaki's bedroom door.

“Can you two stop flirting for five seconds?”

“Masaki?”

“Aniki? Why aren't you in bed?”

Masaki only sighed in response from where he heavily leaned against the door frame. “I've heard you talking... had to make sure you two aren't up to anything where we eat.”

Hearing that, both Hiroto's and Kirinji's eyes widened as they blushed. “We wouldn't do that in the kitchen!” Both Hiroto and Kirinji said at the same time and then immediately turned to look at each other with equal surprise.

Seeing Masaki sway where he stood then, Hiroto didn't waste any time rushing over to him and helped him walk back to bed. “You need to stay in bed, Aniki.”

“I'm not a child. Besides, my fever went down a bit.” Masaki pouted, though let Hiroto do as he pleased.

“I know that, but you need to rest if you want to get better.”

Masaki could only sigh at that before he eventually nodded. “Okay.”

“Don't worry, Masaki, I'll make sure Hiroto doesn't burn down the kitchen.” Kirinji called over from where he stood by the bedroom door.

“Hey! I thought I wasn't so bad at cooking.” Hiroto protested as he looked between the other two. “You aren't. But I need to assure Masaki that it's safe to sleep.”

“Oh...”

“Yes, oh.” Kirinji grinned. “And now let the patient rest while we finish cooking.” He held out his right hand towards Hiroto who briefly looked back towards Masaki, who gave him a small nod, before he turned back to Kirinji and then took his hand and let himself be led back to the kitchen.

Once the food was done, Hiroto carried the tray with three bowls of rice porridge to Masaki's bedroom where he placed it on his lap.

“What do you say? Looks good, right?” Kirinji beamed as he watched Masaki's reaction to the food Hiroto had cooked.

“Yes.” Masaki nodded slowly as he watched Hiroto take one of the bowls in his hand and then put some of the rice porridge on a spoon before blowing on it to cool it down a bit.

“He's cute being all devoted to you.” Kirinji whispered against Masaki's ear, amused when he saw him blush before giving the smallest of nods.

“Say ahh...” Hiroto prompted his brother as he held out the spoon towards him.

This time, Masaki wasn't as wary about being fed, and only hesitated a moment before accepting the offered food, while both Hiroto and Kirinji waited with bated breath for Masaki's verdict.

“It's good.”

“Really?” Hiroto visibly perked up when he heard Masaki's positive reaction to his cooking.

“Yes, really.” Masaki smiled, looking happy at Hiroto's cute expression at his praise.

Kirinji watched in amusement at how cute both brothers were before he eventually began to eat himself.

“It's really good.” He commented in between eating spoonfuls of the rice porridge. Glancing up a moment later, he almost missed Hiroto smiling at him as he looked both relieved and happy at the praise. Having a sudden idea, he placed his own spoon down and instead picked up the unused one and put some of the rice porridge on it before he held it out towards Hiroto. “Say ahh...”

“Wh-what are you doing?” Hiroto spluttered when he saw the offered food, his face turning a nice shade of red.

“Feeding you.” Kirinji smiled warmly at him, amused that he reacted just as his brother had done the other day.

“Uhm... I...” Hiroto stammered as his eyes went from the spoon to Kirinji's face and then over to Masaki who looked as if he was close to explode with laughter. “Okay...” He nodded eventually and then opened his mouth as he leaned closer, blushing still as he let himself get fed.

“It's good...” He said quietly to himself, sounding surprised.

“Told you that it's good.” Kirinji smiled.

Anything else he might have wanted to say was cut short by Masaki letting out a long sigh. “Ahh... I wish I had what you have.”

“Hmm?” Both Hiroto and Kirinji turned towards Masaki, silently prompting him to continue.

“I want someone cute I can share a meal with.” Masaki sighed wistfully, completely missing Kirinji taking the spoon Hiroto had been holding and put some of the food on it.

“Here, say ahh...” He prompted him with the same smile he had given Hiroto only moments ago.

“Wh-what are you doing?” Masaki spluttered out, blushing madly.

“Feeding you.” Hiroto answered before Kirinji could do so, now the one being amused by the turn of events.

“B-b-but...” Masaki stammered out, completely thrown off, while blushing even more.

“C'mon, be a good boy and open up, Masaki-chan~” Kirinji singsonged with an amused smile playing on his lips.

“I... I...” Masaki looked helplessly from Kirinji to Hiroto, who grinned at his brother's confusion and hesitation.

“Yes, Masaki-chan, be a good boy now.” By now Hiroto looked like the cat that got the cream as he joined in on the teasing.

“Don't call me that!” Masaki begged, the pitch of his voice increased noticeable.

Glancing over to Hiroto and then back to Masaki who still looked so very embarrassed, Kirinji eventually lowered the spoon and let it rest in the bowl before he leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to Masaki's cheek, causing him to let out a squeak of surprise.

“Hey... we're just teasing you.” Kirinji soothed Masaki as he reached up and gently ruffled his hair in hopes it would calm him.

Hiroto watched his brother duck his head before he reached over and carefully touched the back of his fingers against Masaki's overly warm cheek, smiling in sympathy when he saw him glance up a moment later. “We're sorry, Aniki, please don't be mad.”

“... I'm not mad, just...” Masaki murmured and then let out a soft sigh.

“Just embarrassed?” Kirinji offered with a small smile.

Masaki glanced from Hiroto to Kirinji and after seeing him smile, nodded slowly.

How cute.

“C'mon, let Hiroto feed you the rest of your food, so you can take your meds and rest some more.”

“Okay.” Masaki sighed and nodded, seemingly resigning to his fate as he let Hiroto continue to feed him.

Getting back to eating his own food, Kirinji watched Masaki in silence. He really must've been feeling bad if he got so embarrassed if under normal circumstances he would've begged them for attention, he thought to himself.

* * *

It was later that day when Hiroto got a message on his phone that made his good mood drop noticeable.

“What's wrong?” Kirinji wondered when he saw Hiroto frown at his phone, a question that prompted Masaki to look over to his brother.

“We've got a job.”

“Huh? But...”

“It's okay, Aniki, I'll tell them that we can't do it this time.” Hiroto shook his head.

“Why would you have to refuse?” Kirinji wondered as he looked between the brothers.

Hiroto looked up from his phone, frowning still. “I mean, I could try doing this myself...”

“No!” Masaki quickly interrupted him, while shaking his head. “That's too dangerous.”

“I know...”

“Hey...” Kirinji interrupted them when he felt the atmosphere become too gloomy. “I just meant that you could ask Kohaku for help.”

“Huh?” Both Hiroto and Masaki turned to look at Kirinji with wide eyes.

“What you're doing is legal, right?”

“Yes.” Both brothers answered at the same time.

“See? Kohaku can't complain about anything shady going on then.”

Hiroto and Masaki turned to look at each other for several long moments before they eventually shrugged.

“I guess we could ask him?” Hiroto sighed, though didn't sound too convinced about the idea.

“I thought you guys were friends.”

“We are.” Hiroto still didn't sound so sure, which in turn make Kirinji raise an eyebrow.

“Should I call him and ask?” Weirdly enough, this made him feel as if he was their parent.

The offer made both brothers stop and stare at him before Hiroto eventually shook his head. “I'll call him.”

“I don't like this.” Masaki said mostly to himself, while Hiroto had left the room to go and call Kohaku from the living room.

Kirinji could understand where Masaki was coming from with his worries, still...

“I'm sure Kohaku will make sure that nothing happens to Hiroto.”

Masaki was quiet for a long while after hearing that before he eventually spoke up again. “We've never worked with anyone who isn't part of the family.”

“You worked together with Kohaku and Tsukumo against Kuryu not that long ago.” Kirinji reminded him.

“That was different.”

“How so?”

“Even when we worked alongside them, Hiroto and I only looked out for each other.”

“Liar.” Kirinji smiled.

Masaki turned on his side to face him when he heard that. “What do you mean?”

“I doubt you would've let Kohaku and Tsukumo into your lives like that if you wouldn't trust them to have your backs.” Kirinji explained as he gave Masaki a sidelong glance, smiling when he saw his eyes going wide in understanding. “Besides, you took me in when they dropped me off here and all that took was their word that I wouldn't cause trouble.” Even though they couldn't have known that at the time.

Anything Masaki wanted to say to that was cut short when Hiroto came back in to the room, looking a little out of it, though appeared to be happy overall as he sat down on the bed. “He said yes.”

“That's good, right?” Kirinji wondered as he looked from Hiroto to Masaki and back.

“Mhm, it is.” Hiroto nodded. “Didn't think he would actually say yes so willingly though.”

“You'll be careful, right?” Masaki all but begged his brother.

“Of course I will.”

“I don't like this.” Masaki said quietly as he tugged on Hiroto's arm and then pulled him down to lay on the bed, immediately curling around him as he hugged him close.

“I know.” Hiroto could only sigh, though for once didn't fight Masaki being all clingy and instead hugged his arms around him.

“We promised to fall to hell together.” Masaki murmured against Hiroto's neck, just loud enough for Kirinji to be able to hear and question the odd choice of words.

“I know, Aniki.”

* * *

“I'm gonna meet up with Kohaku on the way.” Hiroto told the other two the next morning when he came back in to Masaki's room after getting dressed, adjusting his leather jacket for a moment. “You two will be okay, right?”

Kirinji looked over to Masaki, who for the lack of a better word looked like a pouting child, before he turned back to Hiroto. “We'll be fine, don't worry.”

“You'll be okay, too, right Aniki?” Hiroto asked once more as he went closer to the bed and gently petted Masaki's hair.

Masaki sighed before he eventually nodded. “I'll have to... I guess.”

“Silly.” Hiroto shook his head and then bent down and gave Masaki a tight hug. “I'll call once I'm on my way back home.”

“Okay.”

Eventually letting go, Hiroto saw Kirinji get up from the bed, and then accompany him to the front door.

“Don't worry about us. Just concentrate on your job and come back home in one piece.”

“Okay.” Hiroto nodded and was about to turn to leave when he was suddenly hugged tight for several moments before he was pulled down into a deep kiss. When he was let go at last, he was completely red in the face.

“For good luck.” Kirinji winked when he saw the confused look on Hiroto's face, which soon gave way for a more understanding expression.

“Uh huh... thank you.” With that Hiroto was out of the door, leaving Kirinji to go back to Masaki's bedroom to deal with their patient alone.

It was a bit after noon when Kirinji looked up from his phone over to Masaki, who had fallen asleep not too long after Hiroto had left. He should probably wake him, so he could get some food and his meds in him. He was about to reach over to wake him when Masaki suddenly turned towards him with a low groan, immediately curling around him.

“Masaki...?” Kirinji asked quietly when he felt him tremble in his sleep. Did he have a nightmare?

Putting his phone aside, Kirinji carefully placed his hand on Masaki's back. “Hey... it's okay.” He began quietly, trying not to startle him. He should've asked Hiroto how best to calm Masaki when he had a nightmare.

He heard Masaki make another soft noise of protest in his sleep, almost sounding as if he was in pain.

“Shh... it's okay... you're safe.” Kirinji murmured as he slowly stroked his hand up and down over Masaki's back before he reached up and felt his forehead. Thank god his fever hadn't gone back up again.

He continued to slowly rub Masaki's back in hopes that it would calm him. It was almost ten minutes later when Masaki finally woke up, slowly blinking his eyes open as he let out a sigh.

“Wha...?”

“Shh... it's okay.” Kirinji told him with a gentle voice as he reached up again to pet his hair.

Masaki's eyes widened when he finally realized just how close he had curled up to Kirinji, immediately trying to scramble back, but was stopped by Kirinji holding on to his arm.

“It's okay.” He soothed him, again using that same gentle tone. “Did you have a nightmare?”

“... Yes...” Masaki nodded slowly, eyes darting from Kirinji's face down to where he held on to him before he finally relaxed as he let out a shaky breath, seemingly torn between whether he should say more or not.

“You don't have to tell me.”

Masaki only nodded again, looking grateful for the easy way out. “What time is it?”

“Around noon.”

Masaki visibly deflated when he heard that, causing Kirinji to smile.

“You would've liked to sleep a bit longer, huh? Try to buy as much time as possible until Hiroto comes back?”

Seeing Masaki nod again albeit more hesitant, made him laugh softly. Such a cute man.

“C'mon, I'll make us something to eat, so you can take your meds.”

“I wanna take a shower first.”

* * *

“You _really_ don't have to stand guard while I shower.” Masaki complained, sounding more embarrassed than angry.

Kirinji let out a sigh, doing his best to keep his back to Masaki instead of turning towards him to glare at him. He wasn't a fan of this either. “And what am I supposed to tell Hiroto if you faint and he finds you laying in the bathtub because I couldn't manage to drag you anywhere else?”

“I won't faint.”

“You're still running a low-grade fever.”

He didn't hear Masaki's quietly mumbled answer over the sound of the running water. All he could do now was strain his ears to try and listen for any sounds out of the ordinary.

It took a while, maybe 20 minutes before the shower was turned off and then another couple of minutes before Masaki told him that he was dressed again, which prompted him to finally turn around.

“You didn't dry your hair properly.” Kirinji sighed. “If I didn't know any better, I'd say you don't want to get healthy again.” Shaking his head, he picked up the blow-dryer before gently shoving Masaki to sit on the edge of the bathtub.

“What are you...?” Anything else Masaki might've wanted to say was lost when Kirinji turned on the blow-dryer and began to dry his hair, causing his eyes to go wide and his face to heat up.

It was a little bit awkward and took some time, but eventually Kirinji managed to dry Masaki's hair completely.

“There you go.” Kirinji said to himself and was about to put the blow-dryer away when he saw the still wide-eyed look on Masaki's face, making him appear so young and innocent. “What?”

“Mhm... nothing.” Masaki shook his head after finally catching himself staring. “Just thought that you're like Hiroto when it comes to taking care of me.”

“Well, we're both worried about you.” Kirinji smirked and then went to finally put the blow-dryer away before he turned back to Masaki and held his hand out to him. “C'mon, let's get some food in you, so you can take your meds.”

Despite Masaki insisting that his throat was feeling better again and he could eat more normal things, Kirinji still insisted on making him rice porridge.

While Kirinji worked at the stove, Masaki sat by the kitchen table and watched him with a small smile.

“You're a bit like a housewife.”

“Househusband.” Kirinji corrected him without thinking or looking back towards him.

“What?”

 _Shit!_ Had he really slipped up like that?

Taking a deep breath, Kirinji slowly turned towards Masaki, lightly biting his lower lip. “Hiroto asked me what I want to do with my life from now on.”

Slowly but surely Masaki's eyes widened as that explanation sank in. “And you're okay with that?”

“Yes...” Kirinji nodded, relieved that Masaki was seemingly okay with that. “More than okay actually.”

Masaki nodded at that. “I'm happy for you.”

Not knowing what to answer to that, Kirinji merely nodded and then turned back to the stove to finish cooking. Once it was done, he put it in two bowls and then carried first one bowl over to the table and then the second one before he placed two spoons and two glasses of water on the table.

“Do you want me to feed you?” Kirinji grinned when he finally sat down.

“No.” Despite blushing a bit at the offer, Masaki quickly shook his head. “I can eat myself.”

“Then enjoy your food.” Kirinji smiled as he reached over and gently ruffled Masaki's hair. As odd as it sounded in his own head, but it was almost as if petting a cute puppy.

“You're a good cook.” Masaki commented after eating a couple of spoonfuls of porridge.

“Had to be after living alone for so long.” Kirinji shrugged in between eating.

Masaki glanced up when he heard that, though didn't comment on it, only nodding before he continued eating.

Being the first to finish his food, Kirinji sat back in his chair and watched Masaki for a while before speaking up. “Say... Can I ask you something personal?”

“Hm?” Masaki glanced up from his food, spoon still in his mouth.

“What did you mean by wanting to fall to hell together with Hiroto?”

Blinking in surprise, Masaki ended up coughing badly, letting the spoon fall from his mouth onto the table as he tried to catch his breath.

“Hey, hey... careful!” Kirinji was up on his feet and gently rubbed his back. “Here, drink something.” He suggested as he put the glass of water in his hand before he went back to rubbing his back.

Eventually, Masaki calmed down enough to be able to drink a couple of sips of water before he heavily leaned back in the chair and took a deep breath.

“Better?”

“... Yes...” Masaki nodded slowly.

“I didn't mean to startle you.” Kirinji bowed his head a bit as he sat back down.

“It's okay... was just surprise, is all.” Masaki sighed as he took another slow sip of water. “I didn't think you've heard that.”

“It sounded like a promise between lovers.”

Of course he chose the worst timing to voice his thoughts and caused Masaki to almost choke on his water when he heard that.

“L-lovers...?” Masaki spluttered out, completely red in the face as he stared at Kirinji with wide eyes. “Hiroto and I... there's nothing like that going on between us. I promise!”

“Hey, relax... I know that.” Kirinji smiled a bit.

“I mean, I love Hiroto, but only as my brother, nothing more.”

“Then what about that promise? Should I be aware of some dangerous pact between you two?”

Masaki sighed, realizing that he wouldn't get out of this without answering truthfully. “After Aniki died... Hiroto got mad at me when I told him that I'd probably go to hell before he does. So he told me that we would go to the same hell together.”

Kirinji nodded along to Masaki's explanation before he began to smirk. “I can understand why Hiroto would get mad.”

“Huh?”

Kirinji leaned closer and then without warning reached up and pinched Masaki's cheek. “You wanted to leave your cute baby brother behind alone, silly.”

Masaki's eyes widened when he finally seemed to realize the reason behind Hiroto's anger.

“C'mon, finish eating.” Kirinji said when he let go of Masaki's cheek. Seeing Masaki nod and then go back to eating, Kirinji leaned with his chin on his hand. “I wonder though...”

“Hm?”

“Why would either of you even come to believe that you would go to hell anyway?”

“We're not exactly good people.”

Now that made Kirinji laugh, unable to help himself when he heard such a foolish thing. “Are you kidding me? You two are _really_ good people, some of the best I've ever met.” Not that that was any standard since he didn't exactly spend much time around good people for most of his life. But still...

Masaki continued to sit there and look at Kirinji with disbelief.

“We've beat up so many people... _I_ wanted to kill Kamizono...”

“You only hurt bad people.”

“Hiroto and I got into fights with Kohaku and the rest of Mugen.”

“And?” Kirinji asked, still laughing quietly. “Stupid kids getting into stupid fights is nothing new and hardly something you'd go to hell for.”

“Stupid kids?” Masaki questioned quietly.

Kirinji ignored it and instead focused on the other thing Masaki had said. “You merely beat up Kamizono. The important part is that you didn't kill him, which again doesn't qualify you for hell.”

“What about Aniki?”

“Hm?”

“He also tried to kill Kamizono and actually succeeded in killing all those men that worked for him.”

At least that seemed to do the trick and sober Kirinji up and made him stop laughing.

“Didn't he do that to protect you two?”

“Yes. But...” Masaki began, but was quickly stopped by Kirinji placing his hand on his shoulder.

“I'm pretty sure protecting his two cute brothers from some evil men will be interpreted in his favor.” Kirinji smiled a bit and then gave Masaki's shoulder a light squeeze. “C'mon, no more depressing talk about going to hell when it's clear that neither you nor Hiroto will go there. Finish eating, so you can take your meds and go back to bed.”

Seeing Masaki nod then and finally go back to eating, Kirinji watched him for a few moments longer before he turned his gaze towards the kitchen window instead.

Promising to go to hell together? What a foolish thing to do, Kirinji thought to himself. If anyone was going to hell, it was he himself.

* * *

“Say...” Masaki began when they laid in bed again later, with him being cuddled close to Kirinji's side, while he scrolled through the newsfeed of his phone, having actually thought that Masaki would be sleeping some more.

“Hm?”

“Can I ask you something personal?”

“I guess?” He could ask him anything, the real question was whether he would actually answer.

“How did you end up with Doubt?”

That question made him freeze, having not expected for Masaki to be that blunt, especially since neither he nor Hiroto had asked any more questions about his past. How was he supposed to explain his reasons without revealing the little detail that he wasn't just some guy lost in the mix, but actually having been one of the leaders?

Letting out a long sigh, Kirinji let his phone rest on the bed, though still held it close, needing something to ground himself.

“There was this guy I grew up with...” He began eventually with a quiet voice. “He's a couple years older and in a way the complete opposite of me. I always called him my personal shadow. He hated that so much.” Despite how their partnership had ended, he couldn't help sounding a little bit fond of Masato.

“Were you close?”

“I guess?” Kirinji shrugged slightly. “I'm not sure. Maybe?” He laughed a little over still not being able to pinpoint the exact nature of their relationship. “We were stuck in dead ends with no way up or even out really. I guess that's why we worked so well together despite our differences. I've made up what he lacked, while he did the same for me.”

“... Meaning?”

Kirinji laughed a little at Masaki's question. “I did the thinking for us.”

“Which means, he...”

“He protected me more than once, yes.”

“But you know how to fight, right?” Masaki interrupted him. “I mean, those guys did a real number on you...” He trailed off as he pointed at his left arm. “But from what Kohaku told us, you managed to hold your own for a while against several of them.”

“Yeah, I know how to fight. I'm just really rusty after not having fought seriously for almost three years.”

“Should I teach you?” Masaki offered out of the blue.

“What?” The offer made him turn his head to look at Masaki, seeing him gaze back at him with those stupid puppy dog eyes he hadn't used in a while.

“When your arm is healed, we could have some sparring-matches.”

He didn't know what to answer to that. Truth be told, he would've liked to get back into the swing of things and actually be able to defend himself just in case he needed to.

Glancing down to his left arm, he was tempted to reach out and grip at it, but in the end refrained from doing so as he feared he might cause any lasting damage should he touch it. While he had slowly regained some feeling in his arm over the last couple of weeks, it still felt oddly heavy and even a bit numb. Closing his eyes for a moment, he quickly calculated the number of weeks since his surgery before eventually realizing that he still was only halfway through the healing process.

“When my arm is healed and I can move it properly again...” Kirinji said as he opened his eyes and looked over to Masaki, who was still watching him. “I would like to try those sparring-matches, yes.”

Masaki was positively beaming when he heard his answer, though quickly sobered up again when he remembered that Kirinji's tale wasn't done yet.

“So how did you end up with those people?” Masaki asked, but quickly stopped himself with a soft gasp. “Don't tell me that guy made you join?”

Kirinji blinked in surprise at Masaki's very lively fantasy, unable to help himself but laugh at his foolish idea. “No no, he didn't.” Kirinji shook his head. “Like I've said, _I_ did the thinking for us, which means that it was my idea.”

“But why?”

Licking his lips, Kirinji turned his head from looking at Masaki to gaze up at the ceiling instead, while brushing his thumb over the edges of his phone in a somewhat nervous manner.

“I tried working as a scout for a couple of months when I was 18...” He trailed off when he heard Masaki laugh, though didn't turn to look at him. “Can you not laugh?”

“Sorry...” Masaki shook his head, though was laughing still. “I just can't picture you like that.”

Sighing softly to himself, Kirinji tried to pay Masaki no mind as he went on. “Anyway, I was pretty decent at my job, but I soon realized that while it was good money that it wasn't quite what I wanted to do. I also had no real control that way.”

Masaki merely nodded at that as he listened carefully, curiosity written all over his face.

“That was when I met that guy again after losing sight of each other for some time. The first thing out of his mouth after laughing at me, was to tell me that with a face like mine, I could earn my money more easily.”

Masaki narrowed his eyes when he heard that, though it took a bit until the implication of those words sank in. However when it finally did, Masaki was suddenly sitting up on the bed and grabbed onto Kirinji's shirt while staring at him with wide eyes. “Tell me where he is! I'll beat him up!”

“Eh?” Kirinji stared at Masaki with wide eyes full of surprise.

“Nobody says that about my cute baby brother!”

Kirinji felt his face heat up at such possessive words and protective behaviour, cursing his traitor heart for actually skipping a beat as he still gazed up at Masaki, who looked as if he was close to running off to go and chase down Masato to beat him up. Sucking in a somewhat shaky breath, Kirinji eventually reached up and carefully pulled Masaki down to lay next to him again, keeping his arm around him, so he would stay put and rest.

“Relax... I've got him good when I left Doubt.”

“Really?” Masaki asked from where he leaned with his chin on Kirinji's chest, gazing at him with big eyes.

“Yes, really.” He nodded and offered Masaki a small smile.

“But you still ended up working with him despite that?”

“Yeah.” Kirinji shrugged. “I took no shit from him... At some point he actually stopped trying to rile me up and went back to being the same old stoic bastard that I knew him to be.” He took another deep breath before he went on, slowly getting to the important part Masaki had asked him about as he went back to take a hold of his phone and continued to fidget with it by rubbing his thumb over the edges of it.

“The idea with us and Doubt... that was the result of a drunken night of us being idiots, deciding that we should take our lives in our own hands.” More like a drunken one-night stand (would that even qualify as such if they continued to see each other after?) to celebrate their new group.

“How did that work out? I mean with the whole being more in control thing?” Masaki wondered, and for a moment Kirinji feared he had actually caught on as to what had actually happened. But then no other question followed.

“Doubt was still a new group and like I've mentioned before, that guy became something like my personal shadow, while I did what I could do best, using my power of persuasion to scout new members next to plotting battle strategies.”

“That sounds rather cool.” Masaki smiled.

Kirinji blinked in surprise, not having expected that reaction. He didn't know _what_ kind of reaction he had expected, but it had certainly not been _that_.

“You... heard what I just told you, right?”

“Mhm.” Masaki nodded, smiling still. “So if I understand it correctly you were kinda lucky that Doubt was still a new group, so you could actually be more yourself and have some power, right?”

“... Right.” Kirinji nodded slowly, still baffled with how well Masaki was taking all this in.

“But you still left for Kuryu despite having worked out a pretty decent deal with Doubt.” Masaki asked after a couple of moments.

He should've know that Masaki wouldn't be able to resist asking about that. “They offered me a job.” Kirinji shrugged, not feeling like sharing any more about that matter right now. Had he known how things would go though...

“If they hadn't...” Masaki began, seemingly oblivious to Kirinji's reluctance to say more.

“Hm?”

“Do you think you would still be with Doubt now?”

That was a good question. A lot of things had changed in recent time, especially Kuryu's growing influence over the SWORD region. “I'm not sure... I think that would've depended on whether those two would've jumped ship to go and work for White Rascals.”

“Those two?” Masaki wondered before the rest of Kirinji's words seemed to catch up with his brain. “Wait! White Rascals?!”

Kirinji couldn't help laughing at Masaki's confusion. It was entirely too cute.

“I'm not sure what Rocky told them, but he somehow managed to sweet-talk Kizzy and Kaito into joining him.”

“Kizzy and Kaito...?” Masaki repeated the names quietly to himself until he stopped and stared back at Kirinji with wide eyes. “Wait a minute... There was a woman working for Doubt?”

“Yeah! She's the best. Strong and fierce and taking absolutely no shit from anyone, not even from me.” Kirinji laughed, sounding so very fond as he talked about Kizzy that it made Masaki blink back at him in utter surprise.

“You sound as if you really like her.”

“I did... I still do.” He quickly corrected himself with a small smile. She was the only woman he would've ever made an exception for, as weird as that sounded. But she wasn't for him, never had been. “She's living a better life with White Rascals now, something I could've never offered her.”

“You could've gone with them to White Rascals.”

“Huh?” Kirinji blinked in surprise when he heard that.

“Why not? I'm sure someone full of clever ideas and a somewhat vicious streak would've found a place with them.”

He continued to stare at Masaki in silence for several long moments before he began to laugh and shake his head. “No... That would've never worked out. I don't think that there would've been something Rocky could've offered me to sway me to join them.” Besides, there was no way he would've ever joined SWORD. No matter how much he might've liked Kizzy, but not even she could've made him change his mind. He had seen the writing on the wall for a while back then and knew that it would come to blows with Kuryu down the line. Who could've known that a bunch of stupid kids would be able to hold their own for so long? Not that things were over just yet. It was just the calm before another storm. The only question was when and how strong that one would hit.

* * *

He wasn't sure what had prompted him to dream about _that_ night, but even Masaki sleeping curled up around him seemingly couldn't prevent his mind from going _there_.

He could feel the sharp edges of the pin cut into his fingers as he fumbled with it to get it off, hands shaking badly due to the cold rain and raising panic. His voice was hoarse and raw from yelling so much, not that his lungs or heart would have any mercy on him as he could feel the icy cold grip the pent-up dread had on him as it threatened to slowly squeeze his throat.

The words, the broken plea, had spilled from his lips before his brain could stop him, remind him just what he was doing and _who_ he was begging for a way out. But everything was a better option than going back and facing Nikaido's wrath.

His hand lost the grip on Tsukumo's jacket shortly before he was pushed away with an angry snarl, telling him to let go. He had tried again, of course he had, barely able to hear his own voice cracking over the heavy rain that slowly mixed with the white noise that had taken over his hearing, making him feel even more unsteady on his feet.

He wasn't even sure if his blurry vision was due to the rain or his tears. But it didn't matter at that point, not really. He just wanted to stop hurting as the cracks in his self only got bigger and bigger, threatening to shatter the tiny bit of his self he was still clinging to.

He woke with a start, breath catching in his throat as his eyes darted around the dark room, searching the shadows for boogeymen that weren't there.

Gods, where had that dream come from?

Glancing over to Masaki, he saw him sleeping peacefully. Thank goodness he hadn't woken him up.

Carefully, he moved his arm from around Masaki and reached up to feel his still rapidly beating heart. That had been the clearest memory of that night his mind had been able to uncover so far. Gods, how he wished it was all just a nightmare instead of a very real memory that still left him feeling all cold and lonely.

Sighing, he reached for his phone to check the time to see just how late in the night it actually was. Imagine his surprise when he found one missed call and a new message.

Shit! Had he missed Hiroto calling him because he had fallen asleep due to Masaki being a human furnace disguised as a cuddle bug?

Quickly sitting up, he read the message, smiling when he not just saw that Hiroto was on his way back home, but also him saying that everything went well. Thank goodness!

He was about to write back when he saw that Hiroto's message was almost two hours old. Wait... Did that mean that he would be back soon?

Turning his head to look down to Masaki, he saw him sleeping so very peacefully that it made him smile. He was glad that his stupid dream hadn't woken him up. That would've only worried him, and he didn't want that. He was worrying Masaki and Hiroto too much already as it was without him adding even more to it.

He was about to lay back down when he heard the soft click of the front door open, causing his eyes to widen as he strained his ears, smiling when he heard familiar footsteps slowly walking inside the apartment. Not thinking much, he got out of bed and quietly left the bedroom, feeling all giddy now as he went to greet Hiroto.

“Hi~ro~to~!” He singsonged quietly as he came up behind him, having watched him put his motorcycle helmet away for a moment before making his presence known. Seeing him jump a little before he whirled around to look at him with big, surprised eyes, made him smile all the more.

“I thought you were asleep.” Hiroto breathed out as he came close to give him a hug. “Did I wake you?”

“No.” He shook his head as he reached up with his right hand and returned the hug, instantly feeling at ease now that Hiroto was back home. “Are you okay? You wrote that things went well.”

“Mmm... I'm okay, even better now that I'm home.” Hiroto replied as he nuzzled his face against Kirinji's neck, causing him to giggle.

They continued to stay close in each other's arms for several more moments before Hiroto spoke up again.

“How's Aniki doing?”

“Better, I think. He complained that he wanted something more normal to eat.”

“That sounds as if he's almost back to full health.”

Kirinji merely hummed in response before he pulled back a bit and instead leaned up and kissed Hiroto. “Come to bed?”

“I'll take a quick shower and then I'll join you.” Hiroto began, though couldn't help smiling when he saw Kirinji pout. “Silly. I'll be with you in a few minutes and then you'll get more kisses.”

“Fiiiine~” Kirinji continued to pout and then gave Hiroto a light shove towards the bathroom. Before he could leave to take a shower though, he was stopped by him again as he held onto the back of his jacket, causing Hiroto to turn back towards him. “Wait... What about dinner?”

“I've already had something before coming back.”

“Ah... okay.”

Walking back over to him as he closed the gap between them, Hiroto pulled him close, putting one arm around his middle and then reached up with his free hand and tilted his chin up a little. “Maybe I should have you as dessert?” He purred against his lips as he gaze deep in his eyes.

What?!

Eyes wide, Kirinji cursed inwardly when Hiroto was suddenly acting so flirty without warning. “Wh-what are you saying?” He smiled a bit, though couldn't stop himself from stumbling over his words.

Meanwhile, Hiroto continued to gaze back at him for several long moments before he eventually leaned in and sealed their lips in a deep kiss.

Kirinji couldn't help making a soft sound in the back of his throat as he kissed him back a moment later, reaching up with his right hand and held onto Hiroto's jacket, needing something to ground himself so he wouldn't lose his footing as he felt himself getting weak in the knees. He was about to protest when Hiroto broke then kiss, chasing his lips for a moment. But then he felt him shift a little as he leaned closer, only to pick him up without warning a second later.

“What are you―?” He could barely get the words out, finding Hiroto's lips on his own to silence him as he was, again, kissed with passion. Who couldn't known that Hiroto could be like that? It was absolutely thrilling.

He was so caught in the moment that he didn't even notice Hiroto moving them around, only realizing that they weren't standing by the front door anymore when he was suddenly sat down on the kitchen table with Hiroto standing between his legs. “What...?”

“Shhh...” Hiroto hushed him, smiling when he saw him blink at him with confusion. “Told you I'm gonna have you for dessert.” He murmured as he trailed more kisses over his warm cheek to his ear. “Don't make a sound.” He whispered against his ear, the hot breath causing him to shiver and eventually nod.

Just what was on his mind, Kirinji wondered, though almost lost it when he felt Hiroto kiss and lick along his ear and then down his neck. His right hand that had held onto Hiroto's jacket up until then, was quickly pressed over his own mouth to muffle any noises when Hiroto began to bite and suck on his neck, afraid he might accidentally scream down the house if he didn't.

They really shouldn't be doing this in the kitchen, it hammered through his mind. And still, he didn't find the strength to stop Hiroto, enjoying himself far too much. Why was it that even him being more rough than usual was still so much more gentle than anyone else before?

He wasn't sure how long Hiroto was kissing and sucking on his neck, each sensation blurring into the neck, just letting him do as he pleased. Eventually though, Hiroto seemed to be satisfied and pulled away just a little and looked at his neck with a smirk before he leaned back in and pressed a soft kiss over his heated skin.

“Mine.”

“Yes... yours.” Kirinji agreed without thinking, finally letting his hand sink from his mouth and instead held onto Hiroto's shirt. They hadn't even done anything yet, and somehow Hiroto had managed to ruin him for anyone else. Nobody would ever treat him like that. Not that he _wanted_ anyone else to lay a finger on him after he had experienced this. He loved this, loved being treated gently and with care, almost as if he was something precious. He had never thought he'd come to like this, but there he was, craving every little touch Hiroto offered him so willingly. It was pure bliss.

They stayed close for a couple more moments, with Hiroto nuzzling his face against his neck while Kirinji had leaned his head onto Hiroto's shoulder.

“Go to back to bed.” Hiroto said eventually, helping him down from the table and then gave him another kiss, though this one was far softer than the earlier ones. “I'll be with you in a few minutes.”

“Okay.” Kirinji nodded. “And dry your hair properly.”

“I will.” Hiroto smiled, seemingly enjoying the concern.

Letting Hiroto go to the bathroom, Kirinji went back to the bedroom, carefully laying down next to a still sleeping Masaki who immediately cuddled closer. There used to be a time at the beginning when he had dreaded Masaki being anywhere near him when he slept, not knowing whether he might try something. How foolish he had been to be afraid of such a sweet man who really meant no harm and just liked to cuddle. But how was supposed to know that?

Hearing the shower running now, he reached out and began to draw slow random patterns on Masaki's face with his finger, smiling to himself when he saw him screw up his face before slowly blinking his eyes open.

“Lemme sleep...” Masaki complained with a sleepy voice and was about to close his eyes.

“But your cute baby brother is back home.” Oh, how that did the trick and made Masaki be suddenly so very awake.

“Really?!” Masaki perked up when he heard that, immediately sitting up and looked around the room until he finally seemed to hear the shower running, smiling widely now and looking so very excited like a child. Before Kirinji could stop him, Masaki was out of bed and off to run to the bathroom.

Cursing under his breath because he had honestly not thought Masaki would react like that, he dashed after him. Too bad he wasn't quick enough to stop Masaki from barging in to the bathroom. He heard Hiroto letting out a loud shriek of surprise, about to kick his brother out when Kirinji finally caught up with Masaki and immediately put his right hand over his eyes and pulled him back that way, ignoring his complains that he couldn't see.

“Sorry! I wasn't able to stop him in time!” Kirinji told Hiroto, not even looking at him standing in the shower or see him stare after them with a mixture of baffled surprise and amusement at the ridiculous display. Quickly shutting the bathroom once he had Masaki out of the room, Kirinji stared at Masaki with pursed lips. “Do you have to act like an over-excited puppy?”

He saw Masaki open his mouth as if to protest when he, instead, narrowed his eyes at him and then a moment later leaned closer to have a better look at his neck. “What is this?!” He gasped out as he pulled on the collar of his shirt.

“Huh? What do you―?” He trailed off when he realized just what Hiroto and he had been doing earlier and what Hiroto might've meant with his possessive declaration he had so willingly agreed to. “Nothing!” He blushed and immediately reached up to cover his neck. Had Hiroto really left a hickey there?

“Doesn't look like nothing.” Masaki pointed out as he still looked at him with narrowed eyes. Before he could say anything else, though, an arm came up around his neck and pulled him away, causing him to let out a yelp as he turned his head a bit to get a better look at his brother. “Hiroto?”

“You're really a hysterical one.”

“So cruel!” Masaki pouted before turning in Hiroto's arm to face him properly. “I was concerned about you all day and that is how you treat me?”

“ _You_ barge in on me!”

“I just wanted to see if you're alright.”

“By trying to jump into the shower with me?”

“I...” Masaki trailed off at that, though quickly caught himself. “You had enough time to make out with him, but ignored me. That's not fair.”

By now Hiroto was smirking as he finally let go of Masaki and instead moved over to Kirinji's side, easily slipping one arm around his middle. “Well, he's my boyfriend. I had to make up for lost time.”

_B-boyfriend?!_

“You're monopolizing him again. That's so not fair!” Masaki protested as he also moved closer. The next moment, he was chasing a laughing Hiroto around him, while completely ignoring how shocked Kirinji still looked after Hiroto called him _that_.

The last time they had fought over him, it had ended with him having a nervous breakdown and confessing his real identity to them. But right now, the situation was way too ridiculous for that to happen. Before he knew it, he was actually laughing, way too amused by the whole thing. He didn't think he'd ever laughed and smiled so much in his entire life than since he'd been with them. Why was it that those two managed to accomplish this that easily?

He must've sounded a bit too hysterical while laughing because now the other two were looking at him with wide eyes full of disbelief. It took him a bit longer before he eventually managed to calm down again, wiping at his eyes for a moment.

“Sorry.” He gave a soft nod, smiling still. Another moment passed before he went over to Hiroto and looked at him with more love in his eyes than he currently dared to put into words. “Boyfriend, huh?”

Meanwhile, Hiroto could seemingly do nothing more than blink in surprise and eventually nod. “Uh huh...”

“Mmm, I like the sound of that.” Kirinji's smile only grew more when he saw Hiroto actually blush. “You didn't dry your hair.” He added a moment later as he reached up and brushed some of the damp strands out of Hiroto's eyes. “Go and do it properly. I'm not sure I can handle both of you being sick at the same time.”

“Okay.” Hiroto nodded.

Smiling, he refocused his attention to Masaki who immediately stood up a little bit straighter. “And you... you're going back to bed.”

“But...”

“No but...” Kirinji took Masaki's hand and began to lead him back to his bedroom. “I don't care that you decided to run around like an over-excited puppy to prove you're doing better.” He teased him again.

“Puppy?!” Masaki squeaked and then turned back to look over his shoulder to see Hiroto trying and failing to stifle his laughter.

“C'mon Masaki- _chan_ ~”

“Don't call me _that_!” Masaki squeaked again. A moment later he was pushed down onto the bed, causing him to let out a gasp. “Is that how you treat a sick person?”

“Yes.” Kirinji nodded, smiling still.

“Mean.”

“You better get used to it because I'm gonna take you up on that offer of us having sparring-matches. I wanna get strong enough to pick you up and carry you in case you decide to do something stupid again and end up getting sick.”

“You...?” Masaki blinked in surprise and then reached up and pulled Kirinji down as he hugged him close, laughing the whole time. “I'm happy to hear that.”

“Wha―! Careful with my arm!” Kirinji begged, barely able to keep himself upright with his right hand as Masaki tried to hug the stuffing out of him.

“Sorry! Sorry!” Masaki carefully rolled them around, so that they ended laying side by side. “I'm overdoing it again, huh?” He asked when he finally let go, looking oddly self-conscious as he hugged his arms around himself instead.

Letting out a soft breath, Kirinji regarded Masaki for a moment or two before he shook his head. “It's okay. I know you mean no harm.”

“Eh?”

“C'mere, we can cuddle a bit more while we wait for Hiroto.”

“Really?”

Seeing Masaki perk up at the offer was really heartwarming and made him smile once more. Such a sweet man.

“Say...” Masaki began after he had cuddled close, one arm thrown over Kirinji's middle while he leaned with his head on his shoulder. “Is it really not too much if I hug or cuddle up to you?”

“No, it's not. Why do you ask?”

“Hiroto complains and pushes me away sometimes. There are moments where I fear he might be grossed out by it.”

“Silly... I highly doubt that's the case. Hiroto loves you.” Kirinji soothed Masaki as he reached up and gently petted his hair. “You may not remember it because you were pretty out of it due to the fever, but Hiroto was really worried about you and did his best to comfort you, petting your hair in your sleep and hold you close.”

“He did?” Masaki stared at him with wide eyes.

“Yes, he did.” Anything else he might've wanted to say was cut short when Hiroto came in to the bedroom and made his presence known while clearing his throat.

Immediately, Masaki turned towards his brother as he sat up, about to hold out his hands towards him when he suddenly found Hiroto shoving something into his face.

“Wh-what?”

“It's from Kohaku.” Hiroto explained as he pushed the small amulet into Masaki's hands before his eyes shifted over to Kirinji for a moment. “Apparently he heard that you were sick, so he thought this might help you.”

Masaki was completely dumbstruck as he stared down at the small amulet in his hands, seemingly not knowing what to say.

“It's a charm for good health.” Kirinji explained, having sat up himself and now looked over Masaki's shoulder to see what he was holding.

“Eh?” Masaki looked up from the amulet to stare at Kirinji before he turned his gaze up at Hiroto. “Why... why would he do that?”

“Because he's your friend and worries about you.” Kirinji said matter-of-fact and then laid back down.

A moment later, Hiroto took the amulet from Masaki's hands and carefully placed it on the bedside table before he laid down on his other side and threw one arm over him, causing Masaki to stare at his brother with wide eyes, while Kirinji smiled as he watched them. They were all quiet after that for a good minute or two until Masaki spoke up again.

“How did things go?”

“Good. Kohaku's help was welcome, but I still prefer to work with you.”

“That's good.” Masaki nodded and soon found himself hugged a little bit closer. “You're okay, right? I mean, you aren't injured or anything?”

“I'm completely fine. You don't need to worry, Aniki.”

Watching them for a little bit longer, Kirinji eventually reached out and slowly rubbed Masaki's back. They were finally all back home, together.


	28. Chapter 28

Sighing, Kirinji put his phone away and instead looked up at the ceiling, wishing he hadn't told Hiroto and Masaki that they didn't need to accompany him to the hospital that day for his checkup. Truth be told, he actually missed Masaki's kind of nervous, giddy energy whenever they were here, or how Hiroto would do his best to stay calm, but looking just a little bit closer, one could clearly tell that he was just as uncomfortable as his brother.

He'd thought he'd do them a favor when he'd told them that they didn't need to come along. But now he was lonely. Funny how that worked, how quickly he had gotten attached to them.

It had been a week since Masaki had started to feel better, and was thankfully fully recovered now, and of course he had told Hiroto about their little chat about his past, probably when he had still been asleep that very next morning because ever since then both Masaki and Hiroto were rather clingy, hugging him at random times and always cuddle close to him whenever they sat on the couch together. Unlike the last time, however, he didn't overly mind them being like that. It was nice being appreciated, and maybe, just maybe, it made him feel all warm inside. Not that he would ever admit that. Who knew what weird ideas and acts _that_ confession would foster.

It didn't take long before the nurse called him. Well, time to get the next checkup over with...

* * *

It was almost three hours later that he was finally allowed to leave again. They had done more tests than usual and then finally, after being satisfied with the results, had removed the heavy cast and instead had replaced it with a regular bandage on his upper arm. Part of him felt like crying with happiness at the news that the bones in his arm had healed nicely and now all that they needed to do was wait for his muscles to catch up. Or maybe it were just the pain meds that were messing with his head.

Phone in hand and about to call Hiroto and Masaki that he was done for the day and would come back home, he only realized that his feet had moved as if on autopilot when he found himself standing in front of the ward Smokey stayed at.

Oh...

He only now remembered that he had told Eri the last time that he would come back again. The only problem was that after what happened back then, he was no longer in the mood to face Smokey again. Still, he was a man of his word.

Walking in to the ward, he came quickly face-to-face with two security guards standing by the entrance who demanded to know who he was and what he wanted there.

What the hell? What was going on here?

Luckily for him, one of the nurses noticed them and came over. He remembered her from the last time and apparently so did she. After explaining the situation, Kirinji finally understood that the incident last time had seemingly prompted Saigo or whoever was in charge to order more security for this part of the hospital. They should've done that from the beginning, he thought, though decided to keep that to himself.

Seemingly okay with the nurse knowing who he was, the security guard let him be. However, when the nurse then asked him if he was here to visit Smokey, he couldn't really bring himself to answer, standing there rooted to the spot and looking like a deer caught in the headlights. His reaction must've been something else for the nurse to take pity in him as she soon offered him a smile and then told him that Smokey was outside in the courtyard. Thanking her quickly, he ducked his head before he turned on his heels and left again.

* * *

He could hear amused laughter even before he was able to see who it was or what was going on. Rounding a corner then, he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the scene in front of him. It wasn't just Smokey and Eri out in the courtyard. No, his sister was also there and that other guy, Takeshi, plus three other guys. Quickly ducking back behind the corner to keep out of sight, he watched the small group of people. They seemed to have a good time from what he could make out, though wasn't really able to hear what they were talking about. He was about to turn and leave when he saw that Smokey was holding something in his arms, that something turned out to be that cat Rin.

Had they smuggled the cat into the hospital?

They were really just a bunch of kids, Kirinji thought as he continued to watch them, unable to stop himself from smiling when he saw how happy Smokey looked as he let Rin climb up his arm and then perch on his shoulder.

That was how it was supposed to be, just Smokey and his own little family. He didn't need him barging into his life.

He should probably stop this and leave, he thought before the nagging voice in the back of his mind called him a stalker for still lingering around, which oddly enough sounded exactly like Tsukumo. That man being the voice of reason was something he _definitely_ didn't need right now.

Sighing, he was about to turn away when he noticed that he got a call. Not checking who it was because he honestly thought that it could only be either Hiroto or Masaki calling to ask whether he had finished things and would come home, he almost jumped out of his skin when it was in fact Naomi.

“I honestly didn't think you'd be such a coward.”

“ _N-Naomi?!_ ” He gasped out, quickly hiding even more so he wouldn't accidentally be spotted by Smokey or any of the others. He heard her sigh on the other end of the phone before she spoke up again.

“Why did I even bother giving you Cobra's phone number if you won't call him?”

 _Eh?_ Wait... Why was she still talking to him anyway? He'd been so sure that Kohaku had blabbed out his secrets to her and the rest of Sannoh and thus cut off any communication with him and with it one of his only chances to find out what exactly had happened _that_ day.

“Are you still there?” Naomi asked after a bit when he hadn't answered her, sounding actually a little bit concerned now.

Kirinji let out a soft sigh as he sank down into a crouch. “Yes...”

“Did something happen for you not to call?”

That wasn't the reason and he was about to tell her when she went on.

“Cobra is here right now. I can put him on.”

Was he imaging things or did Naomi actually sound teasing?

“No!” He answered quickly, cursing under his breath for momentarily raising his voice before he caught himself. “No... please don't do that.”

“So you're really scared?”

Yep, she really sounded teasing. _Great_...

“No... it's just...” Why was this so hard?

Taking a deep breath, he did his best not to lose it. “I'll probably come over and talk with him in person after all.”

“I thought you wouldn't be able to for some time?”

“Mmm, my injuries are healing faster than expected, so...” He gave a little shrug she wouldn't be able to see. It was the first time he actually talked with her about that. Then again, from what Kohaku had told him, she certainly knew that he wasn't doing so well and was still in the middle of recovering after _that_.

“I'm glad.”

That answer made him blink in surprise, thinking for a moment that Naomi actually sounded kind of fond.

“Where are you right now? Home and resting I hope.”

“Hospital.”

“Eh? Did something happen?”

“No. Nothing like that. Just a routine checkup, is all.”

“Ah... And? How did it go?”

“Good. Really good. I'll be able to start physical therapy soon.” Kirinji gave a small nod as he looked down at his left arm. He couldn't wait to tell Hiroto and Masaki the good news.

“That sounds wonderful.”

“Yes, it is.” He would be lying if he said that he didn't like this, a quiet and somewhat peaceful conversation. “How are things over there? Quiet and no fights?”

Naomi laughed at that, sounding amused. “Yes to no fights. But as for things being quiet...” He heard her move the phone until he was able to hear a bit more of the commotion going on at the diner. He was able to make out a couple of voices he knew, one belonged to the tall one. What was his name again? He could also hear the two guys that always hung around that Dan guy. They were loudly talking about food of all things, arguing which food they would be able to stand eating for the rest of their lives with no alternative available. It was so stupid.

“That's what they're doing now that things have calmed down.” Naomi informed him, still sounding amused.

“You sound as if you like it that way.”

“Maybe.” Naomi laughed. “Come by when you feel better, okay?” She asked out of nowhere then, causing him to blink in surprise.

“Mmm, I will.”

“You better or else I'll ask Kohaku for your address and come over there and drag you here myself.”

“You can try that.”

“Don't think I wouldn't!”

Both ended up laughing when it became clear that they enjoyed the teasing.

“I'm glad you're able to laugh again. Makes me think you're doing better.”

Kirinji almost lost the grip on his phone when he heard that, cursing under his breath as he felt his face heat up.

“I think so, too.” He answered after a few moments, not believing that he was actually admitting that much to her.

There was more commotion on Naomi's end of the line soon after.

“Sorry. I'll have to hang up now. Stupid boys demand my attention.”

“Don't bite their heads off.”

He heard Naomi gasp at that before she giggled. “I didn't know you cared.”

“I don't.”

“Try to tell that someone who believes it.” Naomi retorted, still sounding amused. “Bye-bye!”

“Mmm... bye-bye.”

After hanging up, he continued to look at his phone, not believing that he was almost behaving with Naomi as he had done with Kizzy back in the day. After all, they couldn't be any more different and yet there was something that reminding him of Kizzy. Of course he knew exactly what it was, neither women took any shit from him, calling him right out on his bullshit. What a curious thing.

He should really go home now, he thought with a sigh a few moments later. Though, as he tried to stand up again, he felt his right knee protest after having crouched down for maybe a little too long, causing him to stumbling a couple of feet until he finally found his footing again. Too bad that this was all it needed for him to be spotted.

“Rin!”

Kirinji turned when he heard Eri call out to him, eyes wide at being caught, he saw her run at him with a huge smile on her face.

“You came!” She beamed at him when she finally caught up with him, immediately taking his right hand into hers. “You need to say hello to Smokey and the others!” She all but begged as she began to tug on his hand, prompting him that way to start walking as she led him over to the small group who were all looking at him now.

That was exactly what he had wanted to avoid.

Before he or any of the others could say anything though, it was that cat, Rin, leaping down from Smokey's shoulder and then bound over to him, meowing up at him when she stood up on her hindpaws as she leaned up against his legs.

“Hey, sweet girl.” He greeted the cat, slipping easily into that soft tone he had used with her before, not even realizing what he was doing as he bent down and petted the cat's head, which earned him loud purring. “Don't tell me you remember me?”

“Of course she does. You saved her after all.” Smokey commented, having come over to also kneel down and pet Rin.

Kirinji froze momentarily when he heard Smokey sound so fond, not a trace of hostility in his voice. A moment later, he glanced up, blinking in surprise when he saw him actually smile not just at the cat but also at him. He couldn't believe it. He had been so sure that he would've made him leave on the spot.

“Hello.” Smokey greeted him as he picked up Rin, gently cradling her in his arms as if she was a baby. Maybe she was for him.

“Hello.”

Before he could say anything else though, he saw Lala come closer to them, wearing that same kind smile she had always worn, as she came to a halt next to Eri.

“Long time no see.” She smiled, causing him to stare back at her with the same surprise as he had done with Smokey moments ago. “I didn't know you would be here today...” She added and then put an arm around Eri. “I wanted to thank you for protecting Eri last time.”

What? Why did she still treat him as if _that_ had never happened?

“Don't worry, Eri and I didn't tell them about your past.” Smokey whispered against his ear, causing him to jump slightly before he turned to look at him with wide, disbelieving eyes.

They... didn't tell them? Why?

“Wait... that was the same guy?” The redhead asked as he looked from Smokey to Lala.

“Yes.” She confirmed with a nod, smiling still.

“Ah, so you're making it a habit looking out for us?” The redhead laughed, though got quickly nudged in the side by Takeshi in an attempt to make him be quiet.

Not knowing what to say to that, or to anything else really, Kirinji looked over to Smokey, who in turned didn't even seem to notice, way too busy playing with Rin in his arms. In the end, it was Lala who took pity in him and introduced the other three he hadn't been able to pin a name to. The redhead was P, what a weird name to have, the short one was Yu, and the last one, that didn't seem to belong to them based on his clothes, was Shion. Wait... hadn't he heard that name before?

He didn't have much time mulling that over when he saw Yu come closer and look him up and down, eyes lingering on his left arm. It was almost unnerving.

“Don't do anything unnecessary.”

“Huh?” The nerve of that guy! Not thinking (because when did he ever in such situations?), he grabbed Yu by the front of his shirt and pulled him up a bit so that he had to stand on his toes. “How about you grow a bit more and tell me that to my face?”

His smirk grew even more when he saw Yu stare up at him with wide eyes while his mouth opened and closed before he seemingly managed to catch himself and pushed against Kirinji to let him go.

“You aren't that much taller!”

“Sure~” Kirinji grinned as he finally let go of Yu and patted him on the head. Seeing not just Eri but also Lala giggle, managed to improve his mood some.

Meanwhile, Yu looked over to Smokey, who seemed not to have noticed what had happened, still very much engrossed in playing with Rin who was purring happily in his arms.

“Smokey...” Yu breathed out and then let his head hang, something that didn't change even when P came over and put one arm around his shoulders to comfort him.

“Leave it.” P told him. “Smokey said he was kind despite his harsh behaviour.”

What the...? _Kind_? Him? Just what had Smokey told them about him?

“Aren't you two forgetting something?” Shion asked P and Yu as he came up behind them and pulled them apart so that they ended up facing Kirinji, who looked at them with a mixture of surprise and confusion.

“Ah right...” P began before he and Yu bowed their heads, as did Shion.

“Thank you for saving Smokey and protecting Eri.”

Oh, how that made him blink in surprise. He had honestly not expected that. Then again, Lala and Takeshi had done the same.

“... Okay.” He nodded, still so very baffled over them thanking him.

Letting go of the other two, Shion let out a deep sigh as he went over to one of the benches and sat down. “I still can't believe Kain would do something like that.”

“Kain?” Kirinji asked as he looked around the small group, who all looked uncomfortable for some reason.

“That guy that tried to kill Smokey and you.” Takeshi explained, though that only made Kirinji all the more confused.

He didn't know anyone with that name, and he was certain that none of the Kuryu men Nikaido had with him that day was called that.

“He means Nikaido.” Smokey clarified with a quiet whisper after having seemingly taken notice of Kirinji's confused state.

“Huh?” He was pretty sure that Nikaido's first name was not Kain. But if it was indeed Nikaido they were talking about then that meant... “That guy was part of Rude Boys?!” He hated how he could neither stop himself from yelling nor how high his voice had gotten in that moment. Masaki would be proud of him for managing to reach the same heights as he did when the pitch in his voice would increase.

Yu and P could seemingly not help themselves snicker at his reaction, while Shion continued to look forlorn.

“No, he wasn't.” Takeshi shook his head. “It's true that he lived with us in Nameless Street as part of our family, but he wasn't a part of Rude Boys.”

“He was something like a big brother for Shion.” Smokey told Kirinji with a quiet voice as he glanced over to Shion with a sad look on his face.

He couldn't believe this! Nikaido used to live in Nameless Street and was close with Rude Boys? Just what had he almost stumbled into, having a stupid crush on someone from SWORD? Somehow that piece of information made him feel all faint, so much so that he went over to the benches and sat down next to Shion.

“Sorry about that guy being such a disappointment.” He told Shion with a tired sigh as he leaned back a bit and looked up at the sky. He really craved a smoke now, but it was probably a bad idea to smoke while his arm was still healing. Maybe some alcohol if he was careful not to overdo it.

Shion looked over to him then and gave him a small nod. “You paid a pretty high price for helping Smokey.” He said after a few moments, eyes lingering on his left arm before they went over to look at Smokey.

“Couldn't be helped... none of you were there.”

“I would've helped Smokey, but I'm no longer allowed to stay in Nameless Street.”

“Hm? What do you mean?” Kirinji turned to look at Shion when he heard that, surprised when he saw him still watching Smokey from afar.

Shion glanced at him for a moment before his eyes went back to Smokey. “I was stupid enough to work for Kuryu.” He admitted after another couple of moments. “I didn't think it would end like this.”

Ah, that was why his name rang a bell, this one used to be their go-to guy for the Red Rum. Now it made sense as to why he didn't seem to fit in with the others.

“How's your arm doing?” Smokey asked him out of the blue when he, too, had come over to sit on the bench next to them.

“A lot better. The bones are already healed... muscles just need to catch up.”

When Smokey heard that, he let out a long sigh of relief. “Thank goodness! That's faster than anticipated, right?”

“Uh huh.” Kirinji nodded, smiling a bit now. “Can't wait to start with physical therapy.”

“Don't overdo it. Okay?”

“Doubt they'll let me even if I tried.” Kirinji laughed a bit. “Soon you'll tell me not to come and bother you so much.”

“That won't happen.”

“You underestimate me.” Kirinji grinned. “Everyone who knows me complains about me at one point or another.”

“Kohaku speaks pretty highly of you.” Takeshi suddenly spoke up, having also come over to them.

“What?” He almost choked on his own breath when he heard that. This had to be a joke. He knew Kohaku had said that they were friends, but he doubted that he thought, much less said, that about him.

“Mhm, he was really worried about you that day.” Takeshi went on. “I thought he was going to kill Kain, that's how enraged he was, though he only punched him away from you. Cobra didn't hold back though. He only stopped when Kain was out cold.”

Kirinji stared at Takeshi as he told him what exactly had happened that day without being prompted to. He couldn't believe it!

“Cobra... he probably only wanted to get rid of some pent-up frustration because I've told him not to do anything stupid, like going after Kuryu... Or he was angry over them going after Smokey.”

“Nah.” Takeshi shook his head. “He totally made sure not to let Kain get anywhere near you or Smokey. He was really angry.” Takeshi finished with a single, decisive nod.

“What...?” Kirinji breathed out, blinking slowly. He couldn't believe this! Why would Cobra...?

Before he could mull that thought over some more, or maybe even get lost in the sensation of slowly but surely feeling utterly lost over being faced with those details of that day, he felt Rin suddenly jump from Smokey's arms over in his lap and meow up at him.

“Ah... What do you want, sweet girl?” He smiled a bit when he saw her lean up on her hindpaws as she leaned up against his chest, her whiskers tickling his face. “Silly. Are you worried about me?” His question was promptly answered with a soft meow, something that made him smile all the more. “You don't need to do that.” He was just being stupid again, he added in his head. Reaching up with his right hand, he petted Rin's head for a few moments before he moved it to scratch under her chin, something that earned him loud purring. It didn't take long before Rin moved to curl up in his lap while leaning slightly on his left arm, causing him to gasp softly.

“Ah! Rin, don't do that!” Smokey breathed out, sounding close to panic as he was about to reach over and pick her up.

“It's okay.” Kirinji told him. “She isn't hurting me.”

“But...!”

“I was just surprised, is all.”

“But your arm.”

“Told you the bones are already healed.” As if to prove his point, he wriggled his fingers just the slightest bit as he watched in amusement Smokey's eyes going wide. “That guy hurt the muscles in my upper arm. This is fine.” He went on as he pointed to his hand and forearm.

“Really?”

“Really.” Kirinji nodded, still amused as he watched Smokey breathe out a sigh of relief.

“Don't scare me like that.”

“Why? Were you worried about me?”

“Yes.”

Hearing Smokey's answer said without any hesitation, while at the same time watching him duck his head seemingly to try and hide his blush, though not being quick enough, seeing that made Kirinji stop and blink in surprise. He was about to tell Smokey not to do anything unnecessary when he heard Rin meow, which prompted him to look down to her instead, smiling when he saw her gaze up at him and looking almost smug. Little devil had everyone, including he himself, twisted around her little finger, or better paw.

“I still can't believe you guys smuggled her in here.”

“Couldn't be helped.” Lala told him with a smile as she crouched down in front of him and petted Rin. “Smokey wanted to see her.”

“So you decided that it would be easier to smuggle her in here instead of him out?” That question caused the others to laugh and actually look a bit sheepish. They really were just a bunch of kids. “Say... since most of you are here, should I take a photo of you?”

“You would?” Lala's eyes were wide with glee.

He wouldn't offer if he didn't want to, he wanted to say, but in the end simply nodded.

In the end, he took more than ten photos of the small group, all because they couldn't decide how and where to pose. Part of him wondered whether they had also been like this when Kohaku had taken photos of them.

“I'll have them printed out when I come to visit the next time.” He told Smokey who stood next to him, looking through the photos with him and then nodded.

“Take another photo.” Smokey prompted him, a mischievous smile on his face.

“What of?” The question was promptly answered when Smokey carefully placed Rin on his shoulder, causing him to gasp when she immediately snuggled close to his neck. Gods, she was so warm.

“So those two won't be mad since we keep you here for so long.”

“Silly, I'm an adult. I'm allowed to have my own life outside of those two. Besides, they know that things can take longer.” And still, the sentiment was nice. As prompted to, he then took a couple of photos of himself with Rin perched on his shoulder. He wondered what Hiroto and Masaki would say to that. He definitely needed to show them later when he was back home.

“You won't tell the staff about Rin, right?” Smokey asked after a bit, having Rin picked up again and cradled her in his arms like he had done earlier.

“Why would I?” Kirinji asked as he turned his attention from his phone to Smokey, a moment later reaching out and petting Rin again. “As far as I'm concerned she's merely a part of the fluffy hood of your jacket.”

He hadn't thought that it would be that easy to startle Smokey, but seeing his eyes going wide like that while a small smile slowly bloomed on his lips, that was a nice sight.

“You really like Rin, don't you?” Kirinji asked after a moment, having gone back to look at the cat as he petted her. She was so cute.

“Mhm, I do.” Smokey's voice sounded so soft, softer than usual that it prompted him to look up and instead of seeing him look at Rin, he saw him look right back at him, that small smile still on his lips.

He really shouldn't look at him like that. Someone might get the wrong idea, he thought as his gaze went back to Rin.

* * *

Eventually, the small group decided to split up due to it getting late. He was a little bit surprised by Shion asking in which direction he lived and then offered to drive him, but he quickly waved it off, telling him that he lived in the opposite direction of the one he and the others would go. The startled responses only got worse when he mentioned that he actually lived in the outskirts of town, which then made them question why he still came to this hospital when there sure had to be others much closer. He wasn't entirely sure what to answer that, so in the end he simply shrugged and told them that he promised Smokey to come back for his check-ups. Weirdly enough, that earned him a couple of smiles and some amused snickers.

Yep, he should've definitely kept his mouth shut, he decided.

When it was just him and Smokey and Eri then, he turned towards Smokey and leaned closer. “Say, why didn't you tell them about my past?”

“Why would I?”

“Hm?”

“They would've found a way so Eri and I wouldn't be able to see you again. And I didn't want that.”

That explanation made him blink in surprise, not knowing what to answer to that. In the end, he could only nod.

Bidding farewell to Smokey and Eri then, he fished out his phone on his way to the bus stop, calling Hiroto to tell him that he was on his way home. He should've known that they would be worried if he called several hours too late, but telling them that he had good news about his arm seemed to placate them some. He would be lying if it wasn't nice to know that they were worried about him.

Getting off the bus at his stop, he went to the bookstore before going home. He had seen a certain book there, he really wanted to buy. After doing just that, he finally went home.

He should've expected them to greet him with maybe a little too much enthusiasm, but certainly not Masaki almost immediately hugging him close the second he was through the door, so much so that his feet almost lost the connection to the floor.

“M-Masaki?! Let me down! Let me down!” Kirinji gasped out, helplessly flailing with his right arm as he fought to keep his balance and not cause them both to crash to the floor.

“Just let him go before you seriously hurt him, Aniki.” Despite his words, Hiroto neither sounded nor looked mad, but actually amused.

A moment later, Masaki finally set him back down as he let go of him, though still stayed close. “Next time call us when you know you'll stay out late. We were worried.”

Kirinji blinked up at Masaki for a long moment before he eventually nodded, actually having enough decency to look guilty for making them worry. “I'm sorry.”

“And?” Masaki prompted him as he tilted his head a bit to the side, a hopeful smile on his face.

“Hm?”

Masaki sighed and let his head hang. “Promise that you'll call if you stay out later.”

Ah, that was what he wanted to hear. “I promise.”

“Good!” Masaki beamed. “And now tell us the good news about your arm.”

Nodding, Kirinji placed the bag with the bought book on the kitchen table before he removed the sling and then rolled back his left sleeve to show them that there was no longer any bandage. Hearing them suck in some air as if they wanted to say something, he didn't stop there and unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt and then pulled the collar a bit aside to reveal that he was only wearing a regular bandage on his upper arm instead of the heavy one from before.

“That...” Hiroto began as he slowly came closer to have a better look.

“Bones are all healed. The muscles just need to catch up. But the doctor said that I can begin physical therapy next week. I already have a time for the first appointment.”

“That's wonderful!” Hiroto said after a few moments and immediately hugged Kirinji close, though was still careful with his arm. “Are you happy?”

“Of course I am!” He smiled as he hugged Hiroto back, nuzzling his face against his neck for a couple of moments.

“Can I hug you, too?” Masaki asked after a bit.

“You already got to hug him.” Hiroto smirked at his brother as he continued to hold Kirinji close.

“Eh? But that was before he told us about the good news, so that doesn't count.” Masaki protested with a pout.

“Be nice.” He told Hiroto. “I've got you a present, y'know.” Seeing Hiroto visibly perk up at that, made Kirinji giggle. Going over to the kitchen table, he picked up the book and then handed it over to Hiroto. Meanwhile, Masaki used his chance to get a hug.

“That...” Hiroto began as he looked the book over, eyes narrowing more and more when he saw not just the cartoon sheep wearing an apron on the cover, but actually realized just what the book actually was. “Hey! Why are you buying me a cookbook for kids?”

The words had barely made their way out of his mouth, that Masaki looked over to his brother, grinning in an mischievous manner. “Isn't that nice, Hiroto _-kun_?”

“Did you know about _this_?!”

“Uh huh, I did!” Masaki nodded, grinning still.

“You said you wanted to teach me. So _why_ are you buying me this?”

Kirinji hadn't known that Hiroto's voice could reach those heights and the realisation made him blink in surprise.

“Of course, I'm going to teach you. I just thought it would be nice for you have the recipes all written down in one place since I wanted to start with the more easy dishes.”

“Oh...”

“Yes oh.” Kirinji smiled as he went closer to Hiroto again and gave him a one-armed hug. “I didn't intend to make fun of you.” Seeing Hiroto nod at that made him smile and lean a little bit closer to whisper to him. “You're cute.”

“This is so nice.” Masaki began as he picked up the cookbook and looked it over. “Too bad they didn't have one with a cat.”

“Huh? Cat?”

“You see, Hiroto here _really_ loves cats.” Masaki grinned as he pointed at his brother, ignoring just how quiet he had suddenly become.

“Is that true?” Kirinji turned from Masaki to look at Hiroto, though stopped and stared up at him when he saw him look almost uncomfortable. Why was that?

“Of course it's true!” Masaki continued as he pulled out his phone and then showed it Kirinji. “I have the proof right here.” He nodded as he pointed at the collection of photos that all showed Hiroto with a variety of cats, playing with some, while feeding others. “He may seem standoffish and cold at first glance, but he has a really kind heart. Isn't that right, Hiroto _-kun_?”

Kirinji carefully took the phone and looked through the different photos, smiling more and more with each new and so very cute side of Hiroto he saw. He was so very enthralled by the photos that he didn't even notice Hiroto first glaring daggers at Masaki, who slowly backed away from his brother, before he all but ran away from him with Hiroto hot on his heels, chasing him through the apartment while shouting after him that he would pay for this.

“You're not gonna do anything rash...” Masaki told his brother as he came to a halt behind Kirinji, more or less using him as a shield as he wrapped one arm around his middle, while using his free hand to smush his cheeks together. “Just look at this cute face. You wouldn't do anything to make him upset, right?”

It was only now that they had come back over to him and included him in their ridiculous game of tag that he noticed them, making him look up from Masaki's phone and gaze at Hiroto with big eyes.

“Leave him out of this and face your punishment like a man.” Hiroto tried to sound stern, but had seemingly trouble keeping up the glare now that he was confronted with the mostly innocent and perplexed expression on Kirinji's face.

“It's just like with Aniki.” Masaki grinned. “You always get all tame and cute when confronted with him.”

Oh, how that little bit of information made Kirinji blink in surprise and slightly turn his head to glance over his shoulder back at Masaki. Did that mean that Hiroto had a soft spot for Takeru? It was obvious that he did, they were brothers after all. But hearing Masaki phrase it like that, made Kirinji think that Hiroto liked Takeru more than Masaki.

“So what of it? That didn't give you the right to show him those embarrassing photos.” The blush on Hiroto's cheeks did nothing to help his case.

What? Why would he think those photos were anything but cute?

“I really like them, y'know.” Kirinji told Hiroto after he had finally shaken off Masaki's hand from his face.

“Huh?” Hiroto blinked slowly when he heard that.

“I knew it.” Masaki grinned, though was ignored as his phone was handed back to him.

Meanwhile, Kirinji had pulled out his own phone and looked through the photos he had taken that day until he'd found the ones he had taken of himself and Rin. “It was Smokey's idea.” He told Hiroto when he handed his phone over, so he could see the photos of Rin sitting on his shoulder. “His sister and a couple of his friends were at the hospital today.” He went on as he watched Hiroto with a small smile. Masaki also let go of him and went over to his brother to look over his shoulder. “They somehow managed to smuggled in that cat.”

“So cute...” Hiroto breathed out, a small happy smile on his face.

“Hm? Which one?” Kirinji asked as he shuffled over to see which photo Hiroto seemed to like the most.

He should've known that it would be the one where Rin perched on his shoulder, her tail around his neck, while she leaned with her head against his cheek. He really liked that one, too.

“Can I have that one?” Hiroto asked suddenly, a hopeful smile on his face.

On the other hand, Masaki could barely hide his own amused smile that he hid behind one hand, while he tried and failed not to giggle at how adorable Hiroto was in that moment.

“Uh huh, sure.”

Masaki looked between them for a moment and then went over to Kirinji to whisper to him. “Y'know, if you like those photos of Hiroto so much, you can have them.”

“Eh? Really?” He knew it was childish to get so excited over those photos, but Hiroto had looked _really_ adorable in them.

“What are you two whispering?” Hiroto demanded to know as he pulled Masaki away from Kirinji with an arm around his neck.

“Nothing! Nothing!” Masaki gasped out as he tried and failed to get away from his brother.

“You still haven't faced your punishment.”

“ _What_?!” Masaki squeaked, now trying to get away even more as he wriggled around in Hiroto's grip on him.

Kirinji, meanwhile, quickly snatched his phone back so it wouldn't accidentally fall during the brothers' squabbling. Looking over to Masaki's phone, he decided against saving those photos to his own and instead snapped a couple of photos of the brothers.

“Are you taking photos of us?” Masaki gasped out as he still tried to get away from Hiroto.

“Yes!” Kirinji laughed.

“Why?”

“Proof so nobody can claim you're cool.”

“We're totally cool!” Masaki protested at the same time as a baffled Hiroto asked him whose side he was on.

“My own, of course!” Kirinji laughed more as he took another photo. “And you're not cool at all.” He told them as he shook his head and then backed away from the two when they suddenly focused their attention completely on him. He got maybe a couple of meters between them before they managed to catch up to him. Masaki was quick to restrain him with one arm around his middle while he held onto his right arm with his other hand.

“Wh-what are you doing?” The words had barely made it out of his mouth that he felt Hiroto begin to tickle him mercilessly all over, making him squeal with laughter. “Noooo...! S-stop it...!” He gasped out in between laughing, barely able to get enough air in his lungs.

“Say that we're cool.” Masaki grinned against his ear.

“Never!” Kirinji gasped out as he tried to wriggled out of Masaki's hold on him.

He wasn't even sure how exactly it had happened, but one moment he tried to get free, laughing so much that he was slowly but surely feeling light-headed, and the next moment he had somehow managed to kick one of Masaki's legs away from under him, causing him to lose his footing and grabbed in his haste on to one of Hiroto's arms, seemingly in hopes to regain his balance, though ended up dragging him with them as they all crashed to the floor where they ended up laying in a heap.

“Never do that again.” Hiroto complained weakly, voice muffled from where he laid with his face buried against Kirinji's chest and right on top of him.

“Tell that your boyfriend who kicked me.” Masaki breathed out, laying sprawled out on the floor, completely buried under the other two.

“You two... ganged up on me...” Kirinji gasped out after several moments, still desperately trying to draw enough air into his lungs to calm back down. He didn't think he'd ever laughed so much in his entire life. They really overdid everything they do, huh?

“I don't wanna scare you guys... but I do feel a little bit faint.” Kirinji breathed out as he reached up and dragged his right hand over his face, groaning slightly.

Apparently, it was the right thing to say because the next moment Hiroto quickly scrambled off of him and then carefully helped him sit up, so that Masaki could also get up from under him.

“I'm sorry.” Hiroto murmured as he soothed Kirinji's hair out of his eyes before he leaned closer and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.

“ _We_ are sorry.” Masaki corrected his brother as he slowly rubbed Kirinji's back in hopes it would help him.

They continued to stay like that for a couple more minutes with Kirinji simply leaning with his head against Hiroto's shoulder, eyes closed as he waited for his breathing to return back to normal and the faint feeling to go away, while Masaki rubbed his back. Eventually, he began to feel a bit better after a while, though continued to stay close because if he was completely honest he liked this, not how they had ended up in this situation (okay maybe a little bit), but how concerned they were for him and his well-being. He would've never thought that he would come to like being taken care of like that. It was weird. He hated being coddled or looked at as if he was fragile. And still, he liked it when it were those two.

“Do you feel better?” Hiroto asked when he saw Kirinji move his head a bit as he looked up at him from where he still leaned with his head against his shoulder.

“Uh huh...” Kirinji nodded slightly, a small smile on his lips. “You should make it up to me though.”

“Huh?”

Kirinji watched Hiroto look over to his brother, who looked just as baffled as he did, something that made him smirk just the slightest bit. “Uh huh, you tickled me so much that I could barely breathe and you...” He looked over his shoulder to Masaki. “You made me fall.”

“You kicked me!” Masaki spluttered out in protest.

“Only because you didn't let go of me.” Kirinji pouted and then turned his head to gaze up at Hiroto with big eyes. “Make it up to me.”

“Uhh...” Hiroto blinked in surprise and then glanced over to his brother once more, a somewhat helpless look on his face which was answered with a shrug by Masaki. Eventually, he nodded in response. “Okay. What do you want?”

“Mmm... no, I want _you_ to tell me how you want to make it up to you.” Kirinji shook his head, now openly smiling up at Hiroto.

“Uhh... I...” Hiroto began, though soon felt silent again. “Maybe a kiss?”

Kirinji pretended to think about it for a moment before he shook his head, smiling still. “Not enough.”

“Two?”

“Not enough.”

“Three?” Hiroto asked hopefully.

“Not enough.” Kirinji giggled with another shake of his head and then took Hiroto's hand as he got up from the floor, pulling him up with him and over to the couch. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Masaki also get up from the floor and then pull out his phone once more before he crossed over to them.

“You have him completely wrapped around your little finger.” Masaki whispered to him, sounding so very amused, as he handed him his phone so he could save the photos of Hiroto playing with the cats as he had promised him he could do.

“C'mon tell me.” Hiroto begged as he lightly tugged on Kirinji's shirt, causing Masaki to smile widely and then pat Kirinji on the head before he went back to the kitchen and began to make dinner.

“Four won't be enough either.” Kirinji grinned as he watched Hiroto with amusement, barely able not to laugh when he saw Hiroto's shoulders drop and then lean forward with his head to rest against his shoulder.

“Please tell me what you want.” Hiroto begged as he moved his head and looked up through his lashes. “I'll do whatever you want.”

Oh? Whatever he wanted?

Thinking about it for a couple of moments, he eventually leaned down and brushed his lips over Hiroto's cheek and then moved his head just slightly so he could whispered in his hear. “A love bite... I wanna mark you.” He watched Hiroto's eyes go wide as his words sank in before he eventually nodded, looking so very eager.

“Okay!” He moved to sit up properly and then quickly looked over to Masaki being busy in the kitchen. However, before he could say anything, probably suggest that they should do that now, he found a finger pressed to his lips.

“Later.” Kirinji told him with a low voice, still leaning close to him. “I want you all to myself.”

“Okay.” Hiroto nodded against Kirinji's finger and then pressed a soft kiss to it as he looked at him from under his lashes.

* * *

“I still can't believe Aniki showed you those photos.” Hiroto sighed.

They were back in their room, sitting on the bed all cuddled close in each other's arms with Hiroto slowly and oh so gently rubbing his cheek against Kirinji's as he held him close against him.

“Can we please not talk about your brother right now?” Kirinji smiled, not sounding mad at all though, as he played with Hiroto's hair, feeling reminded of a beautiful big and cuddly cat.

“Mmm... sorry.”

“You don't need to apologize.” Kirinji said softly and then slightly turned his head and pressed a soft kiss to Hiroto's cheek. Reaching down from where he had played with his hair, he slowly traced one finger over the shell of his ear, smiling when he felt him shiver against him. “I wonder where I should mark you.”

“Do it wherever you want... I'm all yours.”

He would be lying if he said those words didn't do things to him. While it was always absolutely thrilling whenever Hiroto proclaimed him to be his while sounding oh so possessive, _this_ was different.

“Really? You're all mine?”

Instead of answering outright, Hiroto stopped rubbing his cheek against Kirinji's and instead went slack in his embrace while resting his head against his shoulder and gazed up at him with a small pout on his lips. “Of course... It's torture not being able to do much because your arm is still healing, y'know.”

“Silly. We can do stuff...” Anything else he might've wanted to say was interrupted by Hiroto lightly shaking his head from where he still leaned against his shoulder.

“I don't wanna accidentally hurt your arm and cause you more pain.”

The confession made Kirinji blink in surprise and left him reeling quite a bit. “You've never hurt me. So why should I worry that you'd do it now?”

“You know exactly what I mean.” Hiroto pouted more, turning his gaze from Kirinji's face to his left arm instead.

“Mmm, I do.” He smiled. Of course he knew what Hiroto meant. There was the aspect of physical pain, but even more so the emotional one which had caused him quite the distress. “Thank you for your concern about my well-being.”

“I'm sorry we weren't there when you needed us that day.” Hiroto sighed as he shifted a bit and then pressed a soft kiss to Kirinji's left shoulder, causing him to gasp lightly.

“You're not going to hurt me if you do a little bit more than that.” He whispered as he reached up with his right hand and first brushed the back of his fingers over Hiroto's cheek before his hand went higher to gently pet his hair.

“Mmm, no...” Hiroto shook his head. “I've decided to wait until your arm is fully healed. It's more fun that way.”

“You're stronger than me.”

“Hm?”

“I was so frustrated back then when the doctor told me how long it would take for my arm to heal. I had made plan, y'know.”

Now that seemed to catch Hiroto's interest. “What kind of plans?”

“Oh you know... kiss you...” Kirinji began with a small smile as he gazed at Hiroto with more love shining in his eyes than he currently dared to put into words.

“Mmm... What else?”

Kirinji trailed his fingertips over Hiroto's hair down his neck, slowly following his shirt's collar before he let his fingers lightly dance over his chest down to where his heart was. “Get you out of your clothes and explore you...” He murmured as he watched Hiroto's eyes follow the movements of his hand, the slight blush that was gracing his cheeks in that moment was so beautiful. “Map out your body with my hands and lips as I kiss you all over...”

“Tease...” Hiroto breathed out, causing Kirinji to smirk.

“You're so cute.” He murmured as he leaned closer and brushed his lips over his ear, whispering against it a moment later. “That's not teasing. I merely answered your question.”

“And what would you consider teasing then?”

Kirinji pretended to think about that for several moments, humming lowly as he let his chin rest on Hiroto's shoulder, all while his right hand slowly stroked down over his back before it eventually slipped under his shirt. “I'm not sure...” He said as he placed his palm against Hiroto's back, glancing at him out of the corner of his eyes and smiled when he saw his blush deepen, before he slowly stroked his hand up his spine, only to go back down in the same slow manner, applying just enough pressure to be pleasant.

“I still haven't decided where I should mark you.” Kirinji whispered in Hiroto's ear, making sure to breathe some hot air against it which caused Hiroto to let out a shuddered breath as he held him closer.

“Told you to do it wherever you want...”

Moving his head just a little bit further down, he nudged his nose lightly against Hiroto's neck and hummed again. “I wonder if Masaki would freak out if I do it somewhere he can see it?”

“Please don't talk about my brother right now.” Hiroto all but begged with a breathless whisper.

“Never thought you'd be so cute.” Kirinji murmured against Hiroto's neck, carefully grazing his teeth over the heated skin. He continued to tease Hiroto for a few moments longer, alternating between nibbling on his neck and pressing hot breathy kisses to it. He went on until he heard Hiroto actually let out a soft moan. “What a nice sound... I wonder if I can make you do that again...” Not waiting for an answer, he closed his lips around Hiroto's neck and began to bite and suck on the heated skin.

“A-ahh... do that more...”

Kirinji smirked against Hiroto's neck when he heard him gasp and even moan again, absolutely loving the sounds he made with only little prompting. It made him giddy to find out just how he'd sound when they would do other things.

Eventually letting up from Hiroto's neck, Kirinji pulled back just enough to look at his work with satisfaction before he leaned back in and kissed over the love bite on Hiroto's neck. “Beautiful.”

“Does it look good?”

“Mmm, just as good as the blush on your cheeks.” Kirinji smirked as he trailed feather-light kisses over Hiroto's cheek down to his lips which he then captured in a deep kiss, causing Hiroto to make a startled high-pitched sound in surprise. Gods, he was so precious.

“If I didn't know it any better I'd say you're a virgin if that little turns you on so much.” He murmured as he kissed over Hiroto's chin down his throat. At the same time, his hand stroked further down over Hiroto's back until he palmed his ass and then gave it a gentle squeeze.

“That's your idea of teasing?” Hiroto groaned out, blinking slowly as he seemingly tried and failed to will his blush away.

“Mmm, I wonder...” Kirinji laughed softly and brought his right hand up to let it rest against Hiroto's cheek, his thumb slowly brushing over the warm skin. “You're really sensitive, aren't you?” He watched Hiroto look away before he eventually closed his eyes as his blush deepened.

“Try growing up with two overprotective brothers.”

“Hm? What do you mean?” He had an idea, but he wanted Hiroto to use his words instead of letting him guess.

Hiroto let out a long breathy sigh as he opened his eyes again, though was still not looking at him and instead chose to more or less hide his blushing face against his shoulder. “Remember that I told you that I had experience.”

“Yes... That wasn't a lie, right?”

“No, that wasn't a lie. It's just...” Hiroto sighed again. “I haven't done a lot.”

That made Kirinji blink in surprise and because he had never learned to keep his mouth shut, he pressed for more. “Meaning?”

“I... I've never had a long-term relationship.”

Oh.

“So it was mostly a physical thing then?”

Instead of answering, Hiroto merely nodded.

“Were they at least nice to you?”

“Yes.”

That was good.

“Wanna know a secret? I've never had a long-term relationship either.”

“What?”

Apparently, that did the trick and made Hiroto look at him with wide eyes.

“Don't look like that.” Kirinji laughed softly, though it sounded a little hollow, as he pressed a light kiss to Hiroto's lips. “I've never really had the luxury to trust someone enough to try that.”

“Didn't that get lonely, not being able to show your true self to someone?”

He'd never thought about it like that, but hearing Hiroto phrase it that way made him think. He had told Kizzy some things, but had never really thought she would believe it all. Most times she had probably thought he'd made a joke. She had been the closest to a friend (as far as he could admit that much to himself), but even then he hadn't allowed himself to trust her completely and show her all that was to him.

“Sometimes...” He sighed after a couple of moments.

“Wanna try having a real relationship with me then?” Hiroto asked with a hopeful smile.

Kirinji couldn't help laughing at that, only stopping when he saw that cute smile fall. “Sorry, sorry...” Kirinji shook his head. “It's just that I thought we already were in a relationship. Right?”

“Oh... Right.”

“You're so cute.” He smiled softly as he hugged Hiroto close and kissed him again. “I gotta say though, you make really nice sounds... like a songbird.”

“Songbird?” Hiroto stared at him with wide eyes.

“Would you prefer nightingale instead?” Kirinji smirked.

“N-nightingale?!” Hiroto spluttered out, his face turning an even darker shade of red than before.

“Did nobody ever give you a pet name?”

Hiroto slowly shook his head at that as he still looked at him with wide eyes.

“Then... wanna be my precious nightingale?” Kirinji asked as he reached up and caressed Hiroto's cheek, smiling when he saw him lean into the touch. “I wanna hear you sing more for me.”

“Okay.”


	29. Chapter 29

He should've known that taking Hiroto and Masaki along to the hospital the next time would be a mistake. Not only did they glare at the physical therapist more than once, but also looked as if they wanted to punch him when he tested out how much he could move his arm until it became uncomfortable and he ended up hissing under his breath. He could understand them being concerned and protective, but this took things a little too far.

He couldn't be mad at them though, since he had seen their reaction when the therapist had taken off the bandage and they had seen, for the first time, the scar on his left upper arm that ran almost all the way from his shoulder down to his elbow. He had seen it before a couple of times of course, but had always tried not to pay too close attention since he didn't trust himself not to lose it in front of the hospital staff. Part of him had feared the brothers would freak out or worse faint, but in the end both of them had just kept on standing there, rooted to the spot while looking so very pale. At least neither had reacted like Hiroto had when confronted with the scar on his head. Yes, he really should've left them at home and then show them the scar later, so they would've enough time and more importantly the privacy of their own home to react in whatever manner they desired.

“I'll bring Smokey the photos I promised him to print out the last time and then we can go home.” Kirinji offered once they were done, taking pity in them when he saw both brothers still not looking all too well. Maybe he should go alone the next time, he wondered.

Instead of an answer, he felt Masaki lean his head against his right shoulder with a sigh, causing him to stop walking. “Did you know that it looked that bad?”

“Mmm?”

“That scar.” Masaki clarified, briefly looking over to Hiroto who still looked so very pale and not well.

“Yes... never looked too closely though.” Koo looked from Masaki to Hiroto, feeling his heart ache when he saw how unwell he appeared to be. “Hey... how about you two go home now and I quickly drop off the photos and then come home immediately after?” He offered.

“What?!” Masaki began to protest as he lifted his head off of Kirinji's shoulder, staring at him with wide eyes.

Without answering, Kirinji took Masaki's hand and then led him the few feet over to Hiroto and placed his hand into his. “You two go home now and rest, and when I come home you can hug and cuddle me to your hearts' content.”

The brothers shared a long look, not even letting go of each other's hand, before they eventually nodded without another word of protest.

“You'll be okay, right?” Hiroto asked with a quiet voice.

“Of course I will.” He nodded and gave Hiroto a small smile. “And now go home. I'm serious, you two don't look that well.”

If he hadn't been certain before then the fact that Hiroto was neither protesting nor trying to make Masaki stop holding his hand as they went towards the exit, made him certain that neither men was feeling well. Thinking about it now, he found that he didn't even mind the thought of them sure to hug and cuddle him once he was back home with them. When had he began to become a source of comfort for them anyway?

* * *

Walking to the ward Smokey stayed at, Kirinji took note of the security not giving him any trouble this time, which was honestly quite interesting. Not seeing Eri anywhere on the hallway, he went straight to Smokey's room. Imagine his surprise when after knocking on the door, he came face-to-face with Kohaku, who looked just as startled as he did.

“Oh...” Kohaku breathed out, looking at him with wide eyes.

“Hello, Kohaku.” Kirinji nodded, being the first to recover.

“Rin!” Eri squealed when she heard his voice, jumping up from her chair and ran over to him, hugging him close without even waiting for a proper greeting.

The gushily greeting momentarily knocked the wind out of him, doing his best not to freeze at the sudden touch. He really should've gotten used to this by now. “Hello, Eri-chan.” He smiled a bit as he gently patted her on the head.

Eventually, Eri let go of him to allow him to actually come in to the room, finally seeing not just Smokey but also Tsukumo.

“Hello.”

“Is it just you?” Kohaku wondered as he leaned a bit outside the room to the hallway to check, though quickly joined the others inside again.

“Uh huh, I've sent Hiroto and Masaki home just now.”

“Huh?” Apparently that made not just Kohaku perk up as now also Smokey and Tsukumo looked at him with interest.

“Had the first physical therapy session earlier... Those two didn't take it too well when they saw that scar.”

“Is it that bad?” Smokey asked, sounding so damn concerned as his eyes flickered from his face down to his left arm and back.

Kirinji let out a long sigh at that, desperately holding onto himself so he wouldn't snap at them that he wasn't going to strip just so they could have a look at that scar. He really didn't need any more people on edge over that.

“They've never seen it before, is all.” He tried to downplay what had happened, even though he sounded so very weary about the whole issue.

“Why are you here then instead of going home with them?” Tsukumo questioned, voice filled with sympathy.

It was so odd hearing him actually sound concerned.

“I...” Kirinji trailed off as he looked for the printed out photos in the pockets of his jacket. “Here... the photos from last time.” He crossed over to Smokey's side and handed them over, again causing Kohaku and Tsukumo to perk up with interest and lean closer.

“Ahh, you're really a good kid.” Kohaku grinned after having taken one look at the photos and then turned to pat him on the right shoulder, causing Kirinji to duck his head and hope he wasn't blushing as badly as his suddenly so very warm cheeks made him feel.

“They turned out so nice.” Smokey smiled as he showed the photos to Eri so she could have a proper look at them. “Thank you.”

“Yes, thank you, Rin!”

Only being able to nod at that, he was suddenly pulled out of his thoughts when Kohaku tugged on his right elbow.

“C'mon, I'll drive you home.”

“What?”

“You don't mind, right?” Kohaku turned to ask Smokey who merely shook his head as answer, while Eri already waved at them in goodbye.

“Okay. Since that's settled, let's go.” Kohaku grinned and then nodded at Tsukumo. “I'll be back in a bit.” With that, Kohaku dragged a still startled-looking Kirinji out of the room and to the hospital's exit. “Their lead shouldn't be that big, so we might be able to catch up to them.”

“W-wait, wait, wait! Kohaku, you don't have to do that. I can take the bus home.”

“Nah, let me do that.” With that, Kohaku put his helmet on Kirinji's head and secured it, causing him to blink up at him in surprise. “Those two will have my head should anything happen to you.” He grinned, but Kirinji could swear he also saw something like fondness in there.

Eventually nodding because he knew there was no way he would get out of this now, he joined Kohaku on the bike.

“I know you like those two, but next time try to consider their feelings before deciding to do something.”

“Huh?” Kirinji stopped getting comfortable on the bike, so he could hold onto Kohaku with only one arm without crushing the other one in the process.

“All I'm saying is that you should have gone home with them instead of dropping those photos off now. I'm sure Smokey would've understood had you done that the next time.”

Oh... He really hadn't done that now that he thought about it. He had believed that it would be enough to send them home, but thinking about it now he couldn't get that haunted look in their eyes out of his head. He really was a stupid idiot.

* * *

Even though Kohaku had driven them carefully and not as fast as he'd usually might have done, they arrived back by the apartment in no time.

“Send them my regards.” Kohaku told him with a small wave before he drove off again.

Not believing just how smoothly all this had gone, Kirinji hurried up the stairs to the apartment, smile on his lips and ready to surprise the other two that he was back home already. He stopped in his tracks when he found the front door locked, however, and once he had it open and taken a couple of steps inside, he found it empty. Just where were Hiroto and Masaki? Even if they had taken a bus later, they should've been here by now.

Quickly checking both bedrooms, though finding them also empty with no one there, he pulled out his phone and dialed Hiroto's phone number. He waited a while, let it ring into the void without anyone picking up, while feeling more and more dread bubble up in his chest, so much so that he wasn't sure whether to feel faint or nauseous with anxiety.

Eventually, he hung up with a sigh and instead tried to reach Masaki's phone. It was the same result and only made him that much more worried. Just what was going on and more importantly _where_ were they?

Not wasting more time just standing around, he was out of the door and down the stairs in no time, while again trying to reach Hiroto's phone. He ran down the street to the bus stop to check whether there might be an issue with the bus. Maybe there had been an accident and that was why they hadn't arrived back home yet? That still didn't explain them not picking up their phones though. But right now, he desperately tried to sort through these things in a rational order so he wouldn't lose himself even more in his worries.

Arriving by the bus stop, he asked around whether there were any issues with the buses or some accident. But there were none. It did absolutely nothing to quell his worries and only stoked those fears that something terrible must've happened. But how and where?

Running back the street to the apartment, he tried Masaki's phone once more, while slowly but surely feeling more and more overcome with fear and oddly enough guilt. He really should've gone home with them, make sure they were okay and safe and... and... and...

In his haste to get back to the apartment, he ended up stumbling over his own feet, barely able to keep himself upright and not crash to the ground to make this whole mess even worse. Staggering over to a nearby alleyway to get away from the people on the main street, he leaned heavily against the nearest wall, breathing labored as he was overcome with a new wave of nausea.

Why didn't they answer his calls, it hammered through his mind as he found himself slipping down the wall until he sat on the ground and let out a shaky breath.

This made all no sense, and now on top of everything else of him being so very close to hyperventilating and feeling his heart hurting so bad that he should probably get concerned about it, he actually felt hot tears fall from his eyes. This was all so bad, and had he been in a better headspace he would've surely felt disgusted over how pathetic he was acting right now. But he couldn't help himself, those two meant a lot to him and now he could neither find nor reach them on their phones. If he at least knew they were safe wherever they had disappeared to.

He wasn't sure how long he sat on the ground in that alleyway, legs pulled up towards his chest and his forehead resting against his knees. His breathing still had not returned back to normal and neither had his tears stopped flowing, all while his mind was tormenting him with all sorts of thoughts of terrible things that might've happened to the brothers. After a while he realized that someone was calling him over and over again, foolishly he thought, _hoped_ , that it might be one of the brothers, but when he saw that it was Kohaku, he almost didn't want to pick up, but he couldn't do that to someone else, make them worry like he was currently doing.

“Hello...?” He almost didn't recognized his own voice as it sounded hollow and more like a breathless hiccup than anything else.

“Where are you?!” Kohaku demanded to know, sounding so very urgent for some reason, but in that moment he couldn't bring himself to care for what was going on on Kohaku's side of things.

“I can't find them...” Kirinji breathed out eventually, sounding just as he tired as he felt in that moment. Maybe he could simply pass out and disappear? Maybe then he would stop hurting.

For a very long moment Kohaku didn't answer and Kirinji started to think that he had hung up on him, leaving him even more alone.

“Where are you right now?”

Why did Kohaku sound so concerned and oddly gentle all of a sudden? It made no sense to his tired mind.

“... Can't find them...” He repeated quietly as he curled up even more on himself, sounding even more choked up.

“Listen to me.” Kohaku urged him on, still sounding concerned. “Tell me where you are right now.”

Blinking slowly, Kirinji lifted his head and looked around, a faint smile on his lips when he saw the pastry shop he had bought those chocolate éclairs from on the other side of the street. Huh... He hadn't even realized where exactly he was until now. Telling Kohaku so, he heard him tell him to stay where he was, but he could barely make out his words, feeling so very exhausted as he let his head sink again to rest against his knees once more. Maybe he would come and pick him up and then help him find the brothers?

* * *

He must've passed out soon after that because the next time he opened his eyes, he was back home in bed.

What? How had he gotten back here?

Suddenly remembering that he _really_ shouldn't lay around because he still needed to find the brothers, he sat up at once, or at least tried to, but was ultimately stopped by a gentle hand on his chest.

“Shh... you should rest more.”

Huh?

Breath catching in his throat when he recognized _that_ voice, he turned his head to look to his left, staring wide-eyed at Hiroto, who laid next to him and looked back at him with a mixture of concern and relief.

“Hiroto...?” He asked quietly, voice filled with both hope and disbelief as he felt his eyes burn with new tears that threatened to fall. “Are... you really here?” He breathed out as he reached out with his right hand, though stopped mere inches before he could touch Hiroto, afraid this was all just a dream.

“Of course I'm here.” Hiroto smiled and nodded as he reached out and took Kirinji's hand and brought it up to rest against his cheek as he let out a soft sigh. “I'm right here.”

He was here. This wasn't a dream... he was really here.

“You really scared us there.”

_Eh?_

Eyes even wider, Kirinji turned his head to look over his shoulder to his right to see Masaki gaze back at him with the same look full of concern and relief.

“Masaki?”

“You really shouldn't make it a hobby scaring us like that.” Masaki smiled a bit, though it looked oddly pained. Before he could say anything to that, Masaki wrapped his arms around him and carefully snuggled closer to him as he buried his face against his neck. “Why did you run away?” He asked after a bit, voice muffled.

“Couldn't find you...”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Hiroto asked as he placed Kirinji's hand back to rest on his chest and instead reached up and caressed his cheek.

“Kohaku drove me home, but you weren't there. And then when I couldn't reach you on your phones, I went looking for you.” Gods, he still sounded so tired to his own ears. “Where have you been?” He wasn't sure what to make of the brothers sharing a long look after hearing that, both looking oddly guilty for some reason.

“We... we didn't think you'd be home so soon, so we went to the pharmacy.” Hiroto began and then turned to the bedside table and picked up a tube that he then showed Kirinji. “We thought it might be a good way to help your scar heal better.”

Oh...

Reading the label then, he realized that it seemed to be some sort of cream. That was so thoughtful of them. He had to look at up later when he'd feel better. “Thank you.” He breathed out and then watched Hiroto smile and nod at him before he put the tube on the bedside table again.

“Why didn't you answer your phones?” He asked after a bit. That still made no sense to him.

Again, the brothers shared that same look full of guilt he still wasn't able to read properly.

“We were too occupied with talking to the pharmacist and only noticed the missed calls when we were back home.” Masaki admitted with a quiet voice, full of guilt, before he went back to bury his face against Kirinji's neck. “I'm sorry.”

“ _We_ are sorry.” Hiroto corrected his brother and then adjusted the covers around them before he also cuddled closer, though was so very careful with his left arm. “I promise we'll make it up to you.” Hiroto murmured as he reached for Kirinji's right hand and intertwined their fingers.

He didn't need them to make it up to him, Kirinji thought. All that mattered was that they were okay and safe. Blinking slowly, he looked from Masaki to Hiroto, feeling overcome by a new wave of sleepiness.

“Try to sleep a bit.” Hiroto suggested with a kiss to his cheek and then carefully leaned his head against Kirinji's shoulder. “I promise we'll stay with you the whole time.”

“Thank you...” Kirinji whispered, no longer fighting to keep his eyes open. It was only now that he had them back that he realized that he hadn't thought about himself or his own safety earlier, not even once, way too busy worrying about those two and wanting them to be okay and safe. He wondered if that was what Kizzy had meant when she had told him how much she loved Kaito, always worrying more about his well-being than her own. Back then he couldn't understand prioritizing someone else so much with little to no regard for their own self. But now he started to understand, realizing how much the thought, of losing someone you hold dear, hurt. He remembered asking her how she could be so cruel to love Kaito that way, knowing that one mistake could mean the end and her leaving him alone. He could still hear her amused giggle ringing in his ears when she had told him that she would never be so cruel to leave Kaito, no matter what, but also because she knew that he would never let anything happen to her.

* * *

When he woke up again, both Hiroto and Masaki still laid cuddled close to him just like they had promised to do. He was even more pleasantly surprised that Hiroto was still holding his hand. That was so nice.

“Hey...” Hiroto said softly when he saw him being awake. “How are you feeling?”

“A bit better.”

“That's good.” Hiroto smiled and then leaned closer and kissed his cheek.

“Do you want to try and eat something?” Masaki asked as he shifted a bit and then reached up and gently petted Kirinji's hair.

Now that Masaki's mentioned it, he remembered that he didn't have anything to eat since breakfast this morning and god knew how late it was already. “That sounds nice. What should we eat though?”

“Aniki, grill some meat.” Hiroto said after a few moments.

“Are you giving me orders again?” Masaki lifted his head and hissed at his brother.

Kirinji looked from one brother to the other, feeling a smile tug on the corners of his lips. “Ask him properly, Hiroto.” Kirinji tilted his head to Hiroto and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

“It's okay if Aniki grills the meat.”

“Good boy.” Kirinji murmured and gave Hiroto another kiss, who in turn looked absolutely delighted at both the praise and the kisses.

“Wait a minute! That's no proper way of asking at all!” Masaki hissed and then turned his attention to Kirinji. “Don't encourage that kind of behavior!”

Kirinji could barely hold onto himself and not burst out laughing at Masaki's reaction. “Can you make dinner, please?” He asked with a soft voice as he gazed with big eyes up at Masaki, doing his best to mimic how he always looked at him with that begging pout when he wanted something. It seemed to work like a charm because now Masaki was looking at him with wide eyes and a startled expression on his face.

“O-okay...” Masaki nodded and then got up from the bed and went to the kitchen.

“I'm impressed.” Hiroto murmured against Kirinji's ear and then shifted a bit as he leaned closer and captured his lips in a slow and deep kiss, catching Kirinji a bit off guard, though he was kissing him back soon.

“I gotta be honest though, if you'd look at me like that, I'd probably combust.” Hiroto smiled against Kirinji's lips.

“It's funny that you say that because I thought the exact same thing when you did that a couple of weeks ago when I was back home.”

That confession made Hiroto pull back a bit and blink in surprise before he began to laugh and then lean back down to nuzzle his face against Kirinji's neck. “We fit together quite nicely, huh?”

Oh, now that left Kirinji utterly speechless, but also made him feel all warm inside.

They stayed cuddled close together for a couple more minutes before Masaki knocked on the door and told them to get up, so they could have dinner.

It was only now that he got up, that Kirinji actually noticed that he was wearing his pajamas instead of the clothes he had worn earlier to the hospital. Not only did it leave him question who had changed his clothes (Hiroto?), but also brought back all the memories from earlier about how terrified and helpless he had felt.

Sitting around the kitchen table with the other two as Masaki grilled the meat for them, Kirinji watched in amusement as Masaki looked disapprovingly at Hiroto who tried to poke at the meat to check whether it was ready.

Even though it had all been one big misunderstanding, he was glad that nothing bad had happened to them. It was funny that it had taken something like that to make him realize just how much they meant, _truly_ meant to him. He may not dare to say it aloud just yet, but he loved them, he could admit that much to himself without feeling weird about it.

After dinner, both brothers shooed him away after he had offered to help them clean up, telling him to go and rest. So instead he went to the bedroom and sat down on the bed before he picked up the tube with the cream and his phone to look up just what the brothers had bought. As it turned out, the cream really seemed to help with surgical scars.

“Wanna try it out?”

Kirinji turned to see Hiroto lean against the door frame, looking at him with that adoring look in his eyes he liked so much. “Mmm, sure.”

Seemingly not needing any further prompting, Hiroto came in to the room and sat down on the bed, while Kirinji carefully took off the sling. Though, before he could even begin to unbutton his shirt, Hiroto had already reached out and done that for him. However, instead of taking off the shirt, Hiroto stopped in his movements then and let his hands sink to rest in his lap, making Kirinji think that he was probably not ready for this yet.

“You don't have to force yourself. I can do this myself.” He offered, though soon found Hiroto look at him with wide eyes and then shake his head.

“I'll do it. I just...”

“Need time?”

“... Yes.”

“Silly...” Kirinji smiled in sympathy as he reached up with his right hand and let it rest on Hiroto's cheek, gaze softening when he saw Hiroto lean into the touch. “Don't force yourself for my sake.”

They stayed like that for a couple of minutes before a knock on the door pulled them out of their own little world and made them both turn their attention to the door, both surprised to see Masaki stand there, a lost expression on his face, and clutch a pillow to himself.

“Aniki...”

“Can I sleep here tonight?”

The last time he had asked that, it had ended in chaos. His reaction to that question must've been more obvious than he thought because Masaki was suddenly speaking up again.

“I promise I'm not sick or anything. I just... I don't wanna be alone.”

Turning to look at Hiroto, Kirinji saw him gaze back at him with the same lost expression his brother wore. Sighing inwardly because both men were acting as if they were children, his thoughts came to a screeching halt when he remembered Kohaku's words that he should consider their feelings. So with the decision out of his hand, Kirinji nodded in answer. “C'mere.”

Masaki didn't need any further prompting and quickly joined them on the bed, sitting cross-legged while still clutching the pillow to his chest with his chin resting on top of it. “What are you doing?”

“Hiroto offered to help me applying that cream you bought.”

Masaki merely nodded and then sank deeper with his chin into the pillow almost as if he wanted to hide his face in it.

Turning back to Hiroto, Kirinji saw him still looking hesitant, a sight that made his heart ache. “You _really_ don't have to do this tonight. You can try again tomorrow or the day after...” He trailed off when he saw Hiroto reach out and then slowly and so very carefully helped him out of the left sleeve of his shirt. The whole time he held his breath as he watched and waited for something terrible to happen, like Hiroto freezing or worse breaking down again. He was so focused on Hiroto and his reaction, that he almost jumped out of his skin when it was Masaki who ended speaking up with a quiet voice.

“That looks so bad...”

Turning his head slightly, Kirinji glanced over his shoulder to Masaki, who had a far-off look in his eyes while clutching his pillow even more to himself, so much so that his knuckles turned white.

“We could've lost you that day...” Hiroto murmured, sounding so utterly broken that it prompted Kirinji to turn his attention back to him in time to see him lean forward and rest with his forehead against his shoulder, while still not daring to actually touch anywhere near his scar.

“Silly, I'm not that easy to kill.” He tried to make light of the situation, while reaching up and gently petting Hiroto's hair. A few had certainly tried, but only Nikaido had ever managed to come anywhere close to succeeding. Then again, he didn't think he'd ever managed to anger anyone as much as he had done with Nikaido. But he wasn't stupid, of course he knew just how quickly it could all be over.

“Don't say that.” Hiroto begged as he lifted his head just enough to look at him with pleading eyes.

“We were really scared those first couple of days after surgery when your vitals looked so bad.” Masaki added a moment later, voice a bit muffled from where he was even more hiding against his pillow.

It was the first time either brother talked about that, and sure while Kohaku had told him a little bit about how bad he had done after surgery, it was surprising to hear them bring that up so suddenly. Closing his eyes for a moment, he couldn't help curse inwardly at still not being able to properly consider their feelings before saying or doing something. That was actually hard to do, he thought to himself. Opening his eyes again, he smiled a bit at Hiroto, still gently petting his hair. “I'm sorry about just now... and also about earlier.”

“Mmm, what do you mean?” Hiroto questioned.

“When I sent you home alone instead of coming with you. I should've considered your feelings more instead of making decisions for you.”

Hiroto said nothing to that and only nodded, while Masaki reached out and petted his head.

“That's really mature of you.”

Oddly enough it didn't make him feel on edge like Tsukumo's words would always do. Maybe it was because these two were special to him.

It took Hiroto another couple of minutes before he finally seemed to find enough courage and strength to touch his scar. It was so very hesitant and slowly at first, making him wonder what he was thinking in that moment.

“Does it hurt?” Hiroto asked as he lightly trailed his fingertips along the edges of the scar, most times not even touching it at all.

“Not anymore.”

“I'm glad.” Hiroto breathed out as he leaned closer and then so very carefully brushed his lips over the scar, causing Kirinji's breath to catch in his throat as he stared at Hiroto with wide eyes, having not counted on him doing something like that.

“Ahh... you two are so cute.” Masaki groaned out, voice barely audible from where he pressed his face even more in his pillow.

Kirinji turned to look over to him and smiled, happy that he was so supportive of their relationship. He looked back to Hiroto in time to watch him apply some of the cream on the scar, again working so very carefully and slowly as he gently stroked his hands over his left upper arm. He would be lying if he said that the concentrated look on Hiroto's face wasn't so very cute and made him feel all warm and happy inside.

Eventually, Hiroto was done and helped him dress again before they all laid down, with Masaki again laying on his right side, while Hiroto curled up on his left, having gone back to holding his right hand in his. It was really nice, especially since the close proximity and their warmth, made him all sleepy. He had just began to fall asleep when he felt Hiroto kiss his neck and then up to his ear, hearing him chuckle softly then sent a pleasant shiver down his spine.

“Have I ever told you how cute you look when you sleep?” Hiroto whispered against his ear.

“Mmm, really?” Kirinji couldn't help smiling when he heard that and then turned his head to look at Hiroto in amusement.

“Uh huh, like a cute cat. I've always wanted one, y'know.”

Under other circumstances he would've exploded hearing such a comparison, but he found that he didn't overly mind when Hiroto did it. “You should be careful, cats eat birds.” He murmured back and then pressed a soft kiss to Hiroto's lips.

“Then eat me up... devour me whole.” Hiroto purred quietly as he leaned even closer and gently bit Kirinji's lower lip, causing him to let out a low, breathy moan.

“You two realize that I'm still awake, right?” Masaki reminded them, blinking one eye open to look at the other two who turned to stare at him with wide eyes. While Kirinji was blushing madly at being caught, Hiroto called his brother noisy, which in turn made Masaki glare half-heartedly back at him.

“Why don't you tell him how long you think of him as a cat?” Masaki smirked.

What...?

Turning back to look at Hiroto, Kirinji saw him stare back at his brother with wide eyes. “What does he mean?” Though, Hiroto wouldn't answer and only looked that much paler.

Now, Masaki was openly grinning. “Remember that first night when Kohaku and Tsukumo dropped you off here?

Kirinji wanted to say barely, but in the end only nodded.

“You were all wet and shivering, looking like a drowned stray cat.”

Yes, he remembered thinking something similar along those lines about himself.

“Since then.” Masaki nodded, causing Kirinji to look back at him with eyes wide like saucers. “And since I knew how much my brother likes cats, I figured that we were going to adopt one that night.”

_WHAT?!_

Quickly turning back to look at Hiroto, he saw him look so very distraught. Though, before he had a chance to ask him whether it was true what Masaki was saying, Hiroto had already gotten up and quickly crawled over him before he all but attacked his brother, shaking him by the shoulders while hissing at him.

“I'm never going to tell you anything ever again!”

Masaki didn't have a chance to reply as he still tried to fight off Hiroto, meanwhile Kirinji sat up and tugged on Hiroto's shirt to make him stop and instead concentrate on him.

“Stop it! And look at me!” Kirinji told Hiroto with a low voice, using the same tone he'd always used with one of the lower ranging members of Iemura when he wanted something done. It worked like a charm (it always did), making both brothers stop fighting and fall quiet as they turned their attention to him.

“Is it true?”

Slowly, so very slowly, Hiroto got up from his brother and turned his body to face Kirinji properly, looking absolutely nervous. “Yes...” Hiroto nodded slowly, sounding so unlike himself. “It's true that I thought that at first.”

Kirinji didn't say anything as he looked at Hiroto with an unreadable expression. He couldn't believe this!

“But that's not the reason why I fell for you!” Hiroto added quickly when it became clear that Kirinji wouldn't say anything to his confession.

“Then what was?” Kirinji asked after a moment of simply looking at Hiroto, sounding more calm than he had done moments ago, which only prompted both brothers to back a little away from him almost as if they were afraid of him and what he might do, which was honestly ridiculous. It was two against one, and he highly doubted that he would've a chance against either of them even without his injuries.

Letting out a soft sigh, Hiroto eventually nodded. “When Kohaku and Tsukumo dropped you off here, I was wary at first. I... I didn't understand why they would bother with someone from Kuryu. But then they told us what happened... what you said... and I was even more confused. So I decided to keep on eye on you in case you'd try anything, not just to yourself but also to us.” Hiroto trailed off and let his gaze drop down to his hands in his lap.

Kirinji didn't answer, though nodded as he made a soft humming sound to signal to Hiroto that he should continue.

“The longer I watched you, the more I realized that you weren't like I thought at first. You were so jumpy and acting almost meek, so unlike anyone I'd ever seen before. And... and for a bit I almost forgot who you worked for. But the longer I watched you, the more I realized that this wasn't your true self either, it couldn't be... because someone like that surely would've never survived within Kuryu.”

Well, that explained why he had always felt being watched those first couple of days while staying with the brothers.

“But then I saw you ease up a little the longer you were around us and thought to myself that I liked what I saw. I mean, I knew that this still wasn't the real you, but you seemed to be a bit more comfortable in your own skin instead of looking afraid all the time and... and then my brother began to drag you off to his bed.” Hiroto added with a sigh. “And I... I was so angry. But not at you or even him. I was angry at myself for being jealous that my stupid brother had realized sooner than I did how to make you even more comfortable and feel welcome.” Hiroto ignored Masaki's protests at being called stupid and instead looked up hesitantly.

So that was why he hadn't been able to properly place that look of affection in Hiroto's eyes all those times when he had walked in on them in Masaki's bed. It was because it was muddled with the jealous feelings he held at the same time, which had honestly been more easy to pick up. He was such a stupid man. And he himself was even more stupid for not realizing this sooner.

“You are stupid.” Kirinji began, though despite his harsh words, his voice was full of affection as he smiled back at Hiroto. “But I guess so am I.”

Seeing him smile, Hiroto breathed out a sigh of relief, finally not looking so on edge anymore. “It's true that I thought of you as a cat at first, but the person I got to know along the way that is someone I _really_ like, someone precious I don't want to miss in my life.”

Kirinji couldn't help blushing at being called precious. That was definitely a first.

“I'm sorry I hurt you by not explaining myself properly from the beginning, but I wasn't sure whether you would even want anything from me. You sounded so broken that one night that I thought it would be better for me to be your friend because I thought that was what you'd actually need instead of a relationship on top everything else going on in your life.”

“Are you crazy?” Kirinji interrupted Hiroto before he could say anything even more outlandish. “I thought I was going crazy with my own developing feelings for you. I thought my mind was playing tricks on me the whole time, imagining affection that wasn't really there. When you kissed me in that hospital bed I thought I was going to die out of happiness. Despite everything else, I've never felt that good in my entire life because the guy I had a crush on liked me back.”

Oh how that confession made Hiroto stop and stare back at him with wide eyes as he blinked slowly as if to process what he had just been told.

“I guess...” Kirinji began as he reached out and carefully touched Hiroto's hand and then when he didn't pull it back, intertwined their fingers. “We really fit together quite nicely.” He smiled with eyes full of affection and then brought up their joined hands and pressed a soft kiss to the back of Hiroto's hand, all while still gazing at him from under his lashes.

“You two realize that I'm still here, right?” Masaki called out to them after they continued to just look at each other for several minutes as if they were the only two people in the entire world.

“Noisy.” Both Hiroto and Kirinji said at the same time as they turned towards Masaki, though upon realizing what they had done began to laugh much to Masaki's chagrin who only shook his head at the other two.

It took them a bit until they had settled back down again, but once they did, Masaki couldn't help pursing his lips as he looked at his brother having pulled Kirinji completely over in his arms as he curled around him from behind and nuzzled his face into his neck.

“You're monopolizing him again.”

“He's my boyfriend. Plus, I've got to make it up to him after you couldn't keep your mouth shut.”

“How is you having weird ideas my fault?” Masaki hissed back.

“Hey, be nice you two.” Kirinji interrupted them as he could already feel Hiroto being close to arguing with his brother again.

“Y'know you're kinda scary with that dark look in your eyes and that low voice when you get all demanding.” Masaki said out of blue then.

Kirinji blinked at that, momentarily startled. Masaki had mentioned something similar not too long ago, but hadn't thought he would bring it up again. He was about to say something to that when he felt Hiroto pull him even more in his arms.

“I think it's hot.” He murmured against Kirinji's ear, though was still loud enough for Masaki to hear it and look back at his brother with a scandalized expression.

“I can't believe you're my brother.”

“I hear only _you_ complaining.” Hiroto smirked and then nuzzled his face more against Kirinji's neck before pressing a soft kiss to it. “You're all warm.”

Yes, he could imagine that since he was pretty sure that he was blushing so madly that not just his whole face must've turned a nice shade of red, but also his ears and neck.

In the end, Masaki somehow managed to get a hold of Kirinji's right arm and held onto it as they all slept cuddled close together in each other's arms.

* * *

Maybe he should've actually questioned what the brothers understood under making things up to him because _this_ had certainly not been something he would've _ever_ considered them doing. But what did he know...

He wasn't even sure what to make of the whole situation if he was honest, or of how happy the brothers looked, almost like children, as Hiroto pulled on his right hand, while Masaki kept on shoving against his back so they could show him everything. At least there weren't that many people here, which was probably due to it being in the middle of the week. But who could've possibly predicted that they would drag him to a petting zoo of all things possible?

“Isn't this great?” Masaki asked him with a big smile on his face as he fed a bunny, looking as if he had done so before and not just once.

Looking over to Hiroto, Kirinji had to do a double take when he saw him not just feed another bunny, but also pet it with a dopey smile on his face. He started to question who this trip was supposed to be for because it looked as if they had just wanted to go here and used him as an excuse to do so. It wasn't that he overly minded being here, but he had never felt so out of place in his entire life and that actually meant something.

“C'mon, you should try it, too!” Masaki urged him on as he pulled him down to kneel on the ground besides him and his brother and then placed a few pellets in his palm before he directed his hand close enough to the ground, so the bunny he had been feeding just now would come over and continue eating.

He honestly didn't think that the bunny would come over to him, so imagine his surprise when it actually hopped over to him. And so he watched with bated breath as he bunny first sniffed on his fingers and then leaned closer and snatched one of the pellets to eat it. “So cute...” He breathed out, voice so soft that he almost didn't recognize it as his own.

“You're cute, too.” He heard both brothers say.

They stayed with the bunnies for a bit longer before he was dragged over to an area with chickens. He wasn't too sure why Hiroto wanted to go here, almost desperately so, but followed him nonetheless.

“Aniki likes birds, y'know.”

Ah! That was nice of Hiroto wanting to go there just because his brother seemed to like the birds, especially after what had happened last night. Looking over to Masaki to check whether he appreciated his brother's idea, he saw him look almost frightened as he carefully approached the chickens.

“Last time, one of the chickens chased him around.” Hiroto explained with a small smile playing on his lips as he tried to coax one of the chickens to come closer.

Hiroto's words made him blink in surprise and then look over to Masaki who still looked wary as he carefully inched closer towards the birds. He didn't think he'd ever seen him quite so nervous.

“Here Aniki!” Hiroto said a couple of minutes later as he had not only managed to coax the chicken to come over to him, but had also picked it up and was now holding it out towards his brother.

Masaki, on the other hand, made a startled high-pitched sound of surprise as he froze at being presented with the chicken, while his eyes went from the bird to his brother and back, almost as if he expected something terrible to happen. Tentatively, Masaki reached out one hand towards the chicken and then after another moment of hesitation, touched it with one finger which the chicken didn't seem to mind. Now happy that he wasn't going to be attacked, Masaki carefully took the chicken in his arms and actually cooed at it. Never in his wildest dreams would he have thought he'd see something like that. Meanwhile, Hiroto went and tried to coax another chicken to come to him.

It couldn't be...?

“Are you looking for the chicken that chased Masaki the last time?”

Hiroto only gave him a sidelong glance. “Maybe.”

He couldn't believe this!

“That's mean.”

“He was mean last night.”

“That doesn't mean you have to terrorize him now.”

“I'm not going to terrorize him, the chicken will.”

Eyes widening when he heard that, Kirinji pulled on Hiroto's arm to get his attention so he would stop trying to coax the chicken to come closer. “Don't be mean, okay?” When had _he_ become the voice of reason in all of this?

Hiroto didn't answer immediately and only looked at him for the longest time before he eventually nodded. “He didn't have the right to tell you _that_ though.” Hiroto added with a small pout.

“Hey...” Kirinji began as he reached out and took Hiroto's left hand in his own, glad that there were little to no people around. “If it's _you_ , I don't mind being called a cat.”

Looking back, maybe he shouldn't have said that because Hiroto stopped and stared at him for so long that he was getting worried that he might've short-circuited, only to get hugged tight out of the blue a couple of moments later.

They were pulled out of their own little bubble of bliss when they heard a high-pitched squeak coming from Masaki's direction and turned to see him being chased around by a chicken.

“Oh... it was that one.”

“The chicken hurt me.” Masaki sniffed as he showed Kirinji the scratches on his hands.

They didn't look bad, but it still made him feel sympathetic for him. “Poor thing.” Kirinji commented with a gentle voice. “Maybe don't go back to the chickens the next time?”

“But I like them... just not that one.”

Hiroto didn't say anything as he watched the two with crossed arms. “Maybe you're really cursed.” He muttered under his breath after a while, causing Masaki to turn and stare at his brother with wide eyes.

“I'm not cursed!” Masaki protested, sounding more like a petulant child than anything else.

He absolutely couldn't believe these two, wondering whether they had been like this with Takeru, too. Watching Masaki crowd his brother and demand from him to say that he wasn't cursed, while Hiroto looked rather bored by it all, Kirinji was about to interrupt them and ask where they should go next when Hiroto spoke up again.

“Should we get some ice cream?”

It was as if a switch had been flipped as Masaki suddenly stopped in his tracks and then nodded, looking so very eager.

“Hiroto, you'll want soda, right?” Masaki asked his brother as he began to lead the way over to the cute little coffee shop where several families with their children could be seen milling around. “And I'll take grape. What do you want?”

“I don't know...” Kirinji shrugged, honestly not that interested in deciding just yet since he had to see what flavors they offered first.

“Huh? But you have to have a favorite!” Masaki asked him in surprise, almost making Kirinji walk into him because in that moment he sounded exactly like Kizzy when she had asked him for his type in men.

“I'll have to see their selection.” Kirinji answered after a few moments, trying to ignore the strange look both brothers gave him at that. It wasn't that he didn't have a favorite, it was just that what he liked wasn't available everywhere. And he didn't like getting his hopes up, only to get disappointed in the end.

As expected the place offered mostly the popular types of ice cream, seeing how most of the kids chose soda, so he kept his expectations low. Watching Masaki and Hiroto pick their favorites, they let him some time to look through the selection. He was close to giving up and pick soda because it was the next best thing to the one he preferred when he actually saw just the right thing. Quickly snatching it up, he couldn't help grinning in delight that he got what he wanted.

“What did you get?” Masaki asked, now so very curious when he saw his reaction, not that Hiroto didn't look any less interested.

“Azuki!”

The moment both brothers saw his choice, they stopped dead and stared wide-eyed at him.

“What...?” Kirinji began, though trailed off when Masaki took the ice cream from his hands without another word, causing his heart to sink because he thought he'd done something to upset them, though what he wasn't sure. For a ridiculous moment he actually feared that Masaki would put it back inside the freezer, but then he saw him simply go to pay for it, which made him breathe out a sigh of relief.

“Aniki always got that one.” Hiroto told him after a few moments, causing him to jump slightly before he turned to look at him and blinked in surprise when he saw the far-off look in his eyes.

Oh...

Well, that explained their reaction. But if he was honest, he didn't know what to do with that kind of information. He couldn't help what he liked. And even though he had offered to go for a different brand when it had come to the cigarettes, he wanted to be selfish when it came to the ice cream flavor of his choice.

“Y'know, sometimes I think Aniki possessed you when we found you asleep next to his grave.”

Kirinji almost choked on his ice cream when he heard Masaki speak about that so suddenly without warning.

“Possessed?” He asked once he had caught his breath again. “I can assure you I'm not possessed, not by your brother nor anyone else.”

“I know that.” Masaki sighed with a shake of his head. “It's just eerie how similar you are to him.”

He highly doubted that he was similar to Takeru in any way. From what he had heard about the oldest Amamiya, he was the furthest anyone could be from him. Takeru was a great man who had his act together, strong and fierce, utterly protective when it came to his siblings and not afraid to get his hands dirty. In a way, he sounded like a dream, absolutely unreachable by anyone, especially by someone like him.

“I'm just me.” Kirinji shrugged, trying not to let Masaki's words get to him because if he did, he would surely feel even more inadequate than he already did at times. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't see Hiroto glaring at Masaki, who actually had enough decency to look guilty for ruining the mood.

“Hey...” Masaki spoke up again after a couple of moments as he leaned closer towards Kirinji. “Give me a bite of that.” He asked as he nodded at his ice cream.

What?

“Absolutely not!” Kirinji protested as he backed a little away from Masaki, who was looking at him with those stupid begging puppy dog eyes again. “Go and buy one for yourself. This is mine!” Despite his words, Kirinji was actually smiling at Masaki who grinned back at him before he turned his attention towards Hiroto.

“Then you share with me.”

“No, definitely not.” Hiroto shook his head, seemingly unable to help the small smile that threatened to take over. “You know that I don't like grape.”

“Ah, you're both punks.” Masaki laughed softly. “Where should we go next? The alpacas?”

“No, let's go to the goats.” Hiroto smirked, which caused Masaki to stare at his brother with a scandalized expression.

“You just want them to attack me again!”

Huh?

Kirinji looked from one brother to the other in utter confusion. Just how many animals were out to attack Masaki at any given moment?

“They didn't attack you, Aniki.” Hiroto smirked even more now. “They swarmed you because you're popular.” With that he pulled both his protesting brother and a still confused-looking Kirinji towards the compound with the goats.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't help myself so I included the bit with the petting zoo since it was one of my favorite things from the manga.


	30. Chapter 30

He wasn't sure what he had expected the next time they went to the physical therapist a couple of days later. On one hand, he was relieved that neither brother seemed to be as on edge as the last time, though they continued to hover all close to him during it all, so much so that he had to tell them to take a couple of steps back when it became clear that the physical therapist was seemingly too scared to do so. In the end however, he wasn't all that surprised that they wanted to go home instead of paying a visit to Smokey. Part of him felt actually bad for not going to see Smokey, especially since he was certain Kohaku had blabbed out how stupid he had acted the last time, most likely keeping them on their toes for longer than necessary.

“What should we do with the rest of the day?” Kirinji asked once they were inside the bus on the way home. He knew that the brothers would likely want to cuddle him on the couch once they were home, and oddly enough he was actually looking forward to that, having come to like and even enjoy being spoiled with affection. No wonder Masaki was so clingy as times. It really was the easiest thing to show someone how much you like them.

“Can we try out one of the recipes from that cookbook you got me?”

Kirinji and Masaki exchanged an amused look before nodding.

“Sure. What do you wanna try cooking?” Kirinji wanted to know.

“Curry. That's simply, right?”

“It is.”

“If you learn how to cook more dishes you won't need my cooking any more.” Masaki pouted as he leaned closer towards his brother.

“No, that won't happen.” Hiroto shook his head, which caused Masaki to look at him with a mixture of surprise and happiness. “I still want you to cook for me.” And just like that, Masaki's face fell and made room for a more scandalized expression.

Sensing that Masaki was about to protest, Kirinji quickly reached out and laid his hand over his mouth, startling him some. “Curry is it then. I'm looking forward to eat that.”

* * *

At first Masaki had only hovered close while watching Kirinji explain how Hiroto should cut the meat and vegetables. Though, after a couple of minutes he picked up another knife and began to help his brother so they would be done quicker.

While Hiroto was busy cooking the meat and vegetables, Masaki noticed that he got a new message on his phone which made him groan.

“What is it, Aniki?”

“We've got a job.”

“Isn't that a good thing?” Kirinji asked as he watched the brothers exchange looks after Hiroto also read the message.

“It is...” Masaki began with a sigh. “Neither of us wants to leave you alone, though, since it's on a day when you'll have your next appointment.”

Ah, that was why.

“We could ask Kohaku if he has time to look after him.” Masaki went on, causing Kirinji to stop and stare at him and was about to protest when Hiroto agreed to his idea.

“Ask him if he has time.”

Wait a minute!

“I'm right here!” He protested with a pout. “And I certainly don't need a babysitter.”

Masaki stopped dialing Kohaku's number and then had the audacity to use those stupid puppy dog eyes on him. “But we don't want you to be lonely.”

“I'm not a pet...” Kirinji protested once more, though soon trailed off when he remembered Kohaku's words that he should consider the brothers' feelings more. Sighing, because he just knew that he would regret it if he wouldn't let them have their way with this, especially after what had happened last time, he eventually nodded. “Fine... call him.”

Masaki beamed and nodded at that, looking relieved when Kirinji agreed and then went to call Kohaku.

“We're just worried about you.” Hiroto told him with a quiet voice and then pressed a soft kiss to Kirinji's cheek.

“I know.”

“Can I ask you guys something about your job?” Kirinji asked while they waited for the curry to be ready.

“Sure. What do you want to know?” Masaki wondered.

“How do you get those courier jobs? I mean, do you have a fixed clientele who always book you or how do you decide?”

“Aniki always managed the negotiations. But since he's gone, all we do is follow his instructions he left behind in his files.” Hiroto answered.

“Do you wanna have a look after dinner?” Masaki asked, though sounding a bit hesitant about the offer.

“If that's okay.”

“It is.”

“This is really good.” Kirinji praised the curry when it was done, not believing just how good this was. He knew one could hardly do anything wrong while making curry, apart from undercooking the ingredients or worse burning them. But Hiroto had really done well for the first time.

“Really?”

“Yes, really!”

“Curry isn't complicated to make, but this is really good.” Masaki agreed as he smiled at Hiroto, who looked even more happy when his brother praised him, too.

“Should we try to make variations of this?” Kirinji suggested as he continued eating, not getting enough of the delicious food, but especially since Hiroto had cooked it.

“Sure!”

“I wanna teach you, too.”

“My boyfriend already promised to teach me.” Hiroto grinned.

“But I'm your brother!”

Masaki's protest only made Hiroto grin all the more until he was actually laughing.

“I'm sure there are dishes Masaki knows that I don't. So how about he teaches both of us?” Kirinji suggested as he looked from one brother to the other, highly amused by their bickering.

Hearing that, Hiroto looked at him for the longest time before he eventually nodded. “Okay. But nothing too complicated.”

“Promise.”

Once the dishes were taken care of, Masaki and Hiroto led Kirinji over to the spare room he had never been to since living here. Masaki had always cleaned there and since the door was always closed for some reason he had no reason to go in there.

“That's Aniki's room.” Masaki explained as he opened the door.

Kirinji stopped dead in his tracks when he heard that, staring at both brothers with wide eyes, not believing they would be okay to share this with him.

“It's okay.” Hiroto whispered against his ear, causing him to jump a little, though it actually did shake him out of his daze.

Nodding slowly, Kirinji followed both brothers in to the room, though did so very hesitantly, and then looked around. The first thing he noticed was the photo on the wall that he recognized as the same one Hiroto had shown him some time ago.

“Ahh... it slipped down again.” Masaki sighed as he went over to the photo and carefully rearranged it so the tape would hold it up properly once more.

While Masaki was busy with that, Kirinji used the time to let his eyes wander, taking note that the room was the smallest of the bedrooms. There wasn't even enough room for a proper bed, just a small couch that from the looks of it wouldn't be too comfortable to sleep on. There wasn't even any real privacy to have in here due to the design of the doors. It made him wonder just how much Takeru had sacrificed for his brothers, apart from his life that was.

A couple of moments later, he watched Masaki and Hiroto retrieve several thick folders from the cabinets and then place them on the floor before sitting down.

“These are all the documents Aniki left behind.” Hiroto explained as he reached up and carefully pulled Kirinji down to sit next to them and then showed him the first file.

“That's a lot.” Kirinji commented after a couple of minutes after looking through the first file.

“We know.” Masaki agreed with a sigh. “But we're glad Aniki was thoughtful enough to write everything important down for us... all the clients and places we should be careful of.”

“Mmm, as if he knew you'd need it.” Kirinji said quietly to himself, only realizing that he might've said the wrong thing when he noticed the brothers having fallen quiet all of a sudden.

“You... think he knew that something would happen?” Masaki asked him quietly, sounding just as out of it as he had done that time when he had told them about Kamizono being dead.

Takeru had decided to go against Kuryu. Only an idiot would think they would get out of that alive and in one piece. And from what he knew about the oldest Amamiya, he didn't strike him as an idiot. But he couldn't tell them that, believing that it would only tear open old wounds.

“He was probably just careful about your work. I mean, I would do the same thing.” In a way he had already done so with the insurance files about those clubs.

“What about those over there?” Kirinji asked after a couple of moments, nodding over to an open cabinet where he could see several thick folders the brothers hadn't brought over to the pile of files.

“Ah, those...” Masaki smiled when he realized what Kirinji meant and then got up to retrieve one of them and bring it over to the other two. “Those are the old family photo albums. Do you remember them, Hiroto?” Masaki smirked when he opened the first one and immediately showed Kirinji the old baby photos their mother had put in there.

“Don't show him that!” Hiroto immediately protested with a red face and tried to shut the photo album, but wasn't quick enough because Kirinji was stopping him with a hand on his arm.

“So cute.” He cooed with a big smile on his face as he looked through the photos that showed not just Hiroto and Masaki as children but also Takeru. Those happy glimpses in the past were so cute but also sad, knowing that the people he used to work for had taken that happiness away from them. “Even though, you two grew up to such handsome men, you're still as cute as back then.” Looking up then, he saw both brothers stare at him with wide eyes and red faces. “What...?”

“You think so?” Masaki wondered with a hopeful look on his face.

“Uh huh, of course you two are cute.” Kirinji grinned, which only grew when he saw Masaki's face fall.

“You're mean.”

“Yes, your mean little brother.” He nodded, which made Masaki groan softly. “You wanted me to be your brother, now you'll have to live with it.”

On the other hand, Hiroto was quietly giggling to himself as he looked back and forth between them.

* * *

“You sure you'll be okay while we're away?”

“Yes, Masaki. You left me enough food and Kohaku will keep my company.” Kirinji did his best not to sound too irritated as he watched the brothers dress. He was not a pet for god's sake.

“We're just worried.”

“I know.” He nodded, again doing his best to keep the sigh out of his voice. “But you should concentrate on you job, so you'll come back in one piece. I promise I'll be fine.”

“Can I get a kiss for good luck?” Hiroto whispered against Kirinji's ear a couple of moments later after he had pulled him inside their bedroom.

“Of course.” Not wasting any time, he pulled Hiroto down by the front of his shirt and then kissed him hard on the lips. Part of him was glad Masaki had seemingly not yet caught on to that little ritual between them or else he might get funny ideas and demand a hug or worse a good luck kiss, too.

Reminding him once more that Kohaku would wait for him at the hospital, the brothers were soon off. They had mentioned that this job would likely take two days to finish, so he briefly wondered whether Kohaku would decide to stay the night since he would probably want to stay instead of leaving. If he did, he could sleep on the couch or use his old futon. He'd have to see what Kohaku preferred. And as long as Kohaku wouldn't try to crawl into bed with him, he didn't care where he would end up sleeping.

Getting on his way two hours later, he was more than a little surprised when he saw not just Kohaku but also Tsukumo waiting in front of the hospital entrance.

“There you are.” Kohaku nodded at him in greeting.

“Hello.” Kirinji nodded back, though continued to look at Tsukumo warily.

“Don't look like that.” Kohaku patted him on the shoulder. “We were going to visit Smokey anyway, we're not going to gang up on you.”

Pursing his lips when Kohaku phrased it like that, Kirinji realized that Masaki must've blabbed out to him his complains about the brothers acting as if he was some pet that needed a babysitter.

If he'd thought Hiroto and Masaki had been bad when it came to the scar on his left arm, then Kohaku's and Tsukumo's reaction was even worse. He wasn't even sure what surprised him more, Kohaku going so very quiet and pale or Tsukumo actually looking concerned. He did his best to ignore them though and instead concentrate on the physical therapist and his work on his arm. At least, they didn't overdo it like the Amamiyas and tried to intimidate the physical therapist, but actually tried to keep their distance.

“No wonder those two are so concerned about you.” Kohaku sighed deeply when they made their way to Smokey.

Kirinji said nothing to that for the longest time, though did look from one man to the other with questioning eyes. They really looked as if they cared about his well-being. Then again, Kohaku had said that they were friends. So this... was normal?

“It looks worse than it is. The doctor said that everything is healing nicely and that there's a very good chance that I'll regain full mobility.” He wasn't sure why those words only seemed to make things worse because both Kohaku and Tsukumo only looked that much paler and oddly enough guilty. Weren't they glad to know that the doctors had done a great job on his arm? Or was it because they blamed themselves for what had happened back then? It was ridiculous. It was his own fault for going out of his way to try and warm them of the plans Kuryu had for Nameless Street. After all, going by what Takeshi had told him about that day, if it wasn't for Kohaku saving him the last moment, he would be dead now.

The moment they were through the door to Smokey's room he was hugged close, though not by Eri as he had thought for a moment, but by Smokey himself. It caught him so badly off guard that he froze to the spot.

“Are you okay?”

Eh? What kind of question was that? “Of course, I'm okay.”

“Really?” Smokey asked him with big eyes full of concern after finally letting go, though continued to stay close and look him over.

“Really.” Kirinji nodded. “Why are you so concerned all of a sudden?”

For some reason that question made not just Smokey look all sheepish. “I've heard how concerned Kohaku was after the last time you were here... that you suddenly went missing, I mean.”

Narrowing his eyes at that, Kirinji turned to stare at Kohaku, fixing him with a dark look in his eyes. “You just had to tell him about that, huh? He's here to recover and not for you to cause his health to get even worse because he gets dragged into that stupid misunderstanding.”

Oddly enough, Kohaku looked just as taken aback as Masaki always did when he looked at him with a serious expression, almost as if _he_ was their disapproving parent and they were some unruly children.

“He was in the same room when Masaki called me to ask for help.” Kohaku began, though was quickly interrupted.

“Then leave the room when you know it's a serious matter.”

“Please don't be mad at him.” Eri suddenly spoke up, having come up behind Smokey and was now gazing up at Kirinji with big, begging eyes that could very much rival Masaki's.

Caught off guard once more, Kirinji looked from Eri to Smokey and then to Kohaku before he eventually let out a long sigh and nodded. “I'm not mad. I just don't understand how I'm suddenly the responsible adult in all of this.”

Those words had barely left his mouth that the room fell silent and everyone stared at him with wide eyes, causing him to only now realize that he had said something out loud that he would usually only think to himself.

“Maybe you really don't need a babysitter after all.” Tsukumo teased as he gave him a light pat on the right shoulder.

“Of course I don't need a babysitter! I'm neither a child nor a pet.”

“No, you're just someone who overthinks a lot of stuff.” Kohaku told him with a small smile, causing Kirinji to duck his head a little because he felt actually caught by being called out like that.

“I can't help being the way I am.” He murmured quietly to himself.

“But we see how much you try to become a better person.” Kohaku nodded, actually sounding fond of him, which caused him to stare up at him with wide, disbelieving eyes.

They thought _what_ about him? He honestly didn't think he had changed _that_ much. Sure, he didn't try to make their lives miserable anymore. But did that really count as trying to become a better person?

“Well, those two more than I since they spent almost every waking minute with you...” Kohaku went on. “But we're proud of you.”

They... they were _what_ now?!

* * *

They stayed a little over an hour before they bid their farewell. Oddly enough, Smokey did understand Kirinji telling him that he wasn't sure when he might be back since the brothers were still on edge. He really was mature for his age.

Outside of the hopsital then, he didn't even protest when Kohaku put his helmet on him again just like he had done the last time. At least he could go home now, though he still had no idea how to entertain either Kohaku and Tsukumo for the rest of the day and probably tomorrow. Imagine his utter surprise when he soon realized that Kohaku was not driving him home. Though, the moment he _did_ realize just where he was taken to, he felt overcome with dread.

“Why did you bring me here?” Kirinji demanded to know the second they arrived and Kohaku turned off the engine of his bike.

“Where else would we stay the whole time?”

At his own home and certainly _not_ at Sannoh, Kirinji was about to yell back when he saw Tsukumo go ahead to Itokan and peak his head inside to announce that they had arrived. Not a moment later, he saw the door of the diner open more and Naomi step outside.

Great. That was the last thing he needed right now. Why couldn't Kohaku understand that he needed time to prepare himself before he could face Naomi or anyone else from here?

Taking a deep breath, he turned to face Naomi properly, though couldn't help blinking in surprise when he saw her only slowly come closer, almost as if she was in disbelief over seeing him here. At least she wasn't trying to hug him, which was honestly a relief.

“Hello.”

“Hello.” It was weird seeing her act so hesitant, especially after she had teased him so much the last time they had spoken on the phone.

“How are you?”

“Good.” Kirinji shrugged, taking note of how Naomi's eyes kept lingering on the sling around his left arm. “Would've been better if Kohaku hadn't kidnapped me here.”

“I didn't kidnap you.”

“No, you just didn't bother to tell me about your plan beforehand.”

“You said he would be okay coming here.” Naomi interrupted them.

What?

“What did you tell her? I've never agreed to come here. I thought you would bring me back home.”

After some back and forth it became clear that Kohaku had misunderstood Masaki's plea to babysit him. The irony in all of this, didn't escape him and if he was honest that was the only thing to prevented him from yelling more at Kohaku. Seriously, this region was bad for his nerves and blood pressure, and Kohaku wasn't helping at all.

“So how's your arm doing?” Naomi asked after Kirinji had calmed down again and didn't appear close to trying to bite Kohaku's head off. If anything, she actually looked amused by his behavior.

“Still healing. But it's better than it used to.” He shrugged, not knowing what else to answer.

“I'm glad.” Naomi let out a sigh of relief and then went a bit closer and gave him a light pat on the right shoulder, almost as if she wasn't certain what else to touch. “You really scared me when Kohaku told me what happened.”

Both watched Kohaku follow Tsukumo inside Itokan then before Naomi turned to Kirinji with a grin.

“Cobra is here right now. So if you still want to talk about what happened in Nameless Street, there's your chance.”

She really didn't need to look and sound so smug about the whole matter, Kirinji thought as he tried and failed not to look too startled by that information.

“To be honest, someone else already told me what happened.”

“Oh...”

Wait... Did Naomi actually want him to talk with Cobra?

“You just want to watch me squirm.”

Oddly enough that made Naomi laugh a bit, though she soon shook her head. “Cobra... he may not show it openly to everyone, but he was really worried.”

Huh?

Without elaborating what exactly she meant by that or even giving him time to ask for more details, Naomi took his right hand and dragged him inside Itokan, while all he could do was not to let his feet drag too much, so he wouldn't look like a petulant child as he followed her.

The moment he took one step inside Itokan, he already saw Cobra sitting at one of the tables further in the back just like the last time he had been here. Meanwhile, Kohaku and Tsukumo had chosen to sit at another table. Part of him actually suspected that they wanted to given them some space, given the looks on their faces. And as if that wasn't bad enough, he felt Naomi give him a light shove towards Cobra and then wink at him as she passed him by to go over to the bar counter. Meddling bastards, all three of them.

Taking a deep breath, he walked slowly over to where Cobra sat, all while they silently watched each other. A not so small part of him still toyed with the idea to turn on his heels and try to make a run for it, not that he would make it very far. Eventually coming to a halt in front of Cobra, he let out a soft sigh.

He could do this, he told himself, he just needed to swallow his damn pride for a bit.

Taking a shaky breath, while at the same time balling his right hand into a fist, so much so that he felt his nails dig into his palm, Kirinji bowed his head. “Thank you for saving me.”

For a long moment nothing happened and it was so very quiet in the diner, though he could feel the others' eyes on him, them.

“I need to thank you for protecting Smokey.” Came the quiet replay by Cobra, actually causing Kirinji's eyes to snap open and straighten back up to stare at the other man. “How are your injuries doing?” Cobra asked after a couple of moments, eyes flickering briefly to his left arm before going back up to his face.

“Pretty good, still healing though.” He gave a soft nod and then sat down across from Cobra when he didn't know what else to do with himself, especially when all he got in response was a low hum.

Both were quiet after that, which didn't make the situation any less awkward. That was until Naomi came over to them and brought them both a glass of water, that mischievous look from earlier still on her face. “How about you thank him for listening to him and not going after anyone from Kuryu, even though they were all out on the streets and we had to hold you back?”

Hearing that made both Kirinji and Cobra look up to Naomi, both having a startled expression on their faces.

“Ah yes...” Cobra began, looking a little uncomfortable as he seemingly tried to find the right words, though was quickly interrupted by Kirinji.

“You don't have to.” Under different circumstances he would've gloated in having Cobra's gratitude, especially having him actually listened to his advice, but right now it only made him feel embarrassed.

“Huh?” Now that made both Cobra and Naomi stare at him with wide, questioning eyes.

“I mean, they didn't manage to get a hold of you or anyone else, so... it's okay.” It really was. They hadn't been able to take out Smokey or anyone else from SWORD, so at least the power balance was still more or less the same.

Seemingly okay with that answer, Cobra nodded and then reached for his glass of water. Meanwhile, Naomi only fixed him with narrowed eyes and pursed lips. “You're letting him off too easy.” She told him with a smug smile, which only grew more when Cobra almost choked on his water. “Ah, you're really like a child sometimes.” Naomi sighed.

On the other hand, Kirinji blinked in surprise at Cobra's reaction, having not expected that from him, though soon turned his head to look over his shoulder back to Kohaku when he heard him chuckle and then saw him mouth to him that he was proud of him, which caused him to blush at the praise. Thankfully Cobra didn't seem to have noticed that, though, as he doubted he would've taken that in a good way.

They sat in somewhat comfortable silence after that with both of them nipping on their water. That was until Cobra actually asked him what he was planning to do with his life from now on. That question surprised him quite a lot since not even Kohaku or Naomi had asked him that. But maybe Cobra just wanted to make sure that he wouldn't be a threat anymore, not that he had been the last two times he had been here.

What should tell him though? He could hardly tell him the truth about the whole househusband thing.

“I was thinking about helping Hiroto and Masaki with their job.” That wasn't even a lie since he had actually toyed with that idea ever since they had showed him those files. He really wanted to help them, not least because from what he had read, some of those jobs did sound quite dangerous.

“Can you even drive a bike?” It was a quite innocent question.

“No, but I can drive a car.”

“Aren't they _motorcycle_ couriers?” Now, the innocent tone was gone and instead replaced with an almost teasing one.

“Yes. And?” Kirinji smirked back as he leaned with his right arm on the table. “There's more to their jobs than simply driving from point A to point B.”

“If you say so.”

Gods, now he knew what it must feel like for Masaki to deal with Hiroto _and_ him at the same time. Who could've known that Cobra could be such a punk?

“What about you?” He asked after a couple of minutes, causing Cobra to give him that startled look again.

“I haven't really thought about it yet. It would be nice to retire from fighting though, enjoy the peace.”

That was a nice dream to have and if he was honest, something he could agree with, if only that was possible though.

He wasn't even sure how it had happened, one moment he had brought his empty glass back over to Naomi, and upon returning to the table found both Kohaku and Tsukumo sitting there and talking with Cobra about something from those motorcycle magazines they read, when the next moment, Kohaku pulled him down to sit next to him. He wasn't overly interested in their conversation and so he simply sat there, spacing out quite some while thinking that he could be home right now and eat one of the dishes Masaki had prepared and left for him. On one hand, it kind of felt nice that Kohaku tried to include him in whatever normal thing this was supposed to be. But on the other hand, he knew that he wasn't made for this. This was so different from playing leader or even from desperately trying to hold it together in front of so many people, who all only looked out for themselves, so he wouldn't accidentally make a mistake and get punished for it.

It took him longer than he liked to realize that the conversation had died down and the others were now looking between him and someone else. Blinking once, twice to come back to his senses, he turned his head and immediately froze when he saw just who stood right next to him and looked at him with equal surprise written all over his face, Noboru. Of course it was him. The only person he could seemingly never outpace, no matter how much he tried.

Still staring at Noburo, while not saying a single word, he watched that surprised expression soon make room for a mild smile. And gods, he already hated the sight of that, even though the other man hadn't even opened his mouth yet. But nothing that could possible follow would be anything good, at least not for him.

“Hello.” Noboru greeted him as he went to sit down next to Cobra and right across from him.

In that moment he wanted nothing more than to lunge over the table and wipe that stupid mild smile off of his face. It infuriated him even more than the disaster interactions between him and that Dan guy.

The moment he noticed Noboru's eyes go from his face down to his left arm and the sling, he knew he couldn't do this. He couldn't sit there and pretend that what had happened between them never did. He wasn't a good enough person to do that. After all, that guy had ruined everything for him.

Without saying another word, he got up and was almost halfway to the door when Kohaku called out to him, asking where he was going.

“Out.” He actually had to force himself not to snap at Kohaku, not to lose it in front of everyone and yell at him, accuse him of being a meddling bastard, again, for bringing him here instead of home like he would've preferred.

He'd made it down the street to the store he had been to before, the one with the two tall girls behind the counter at the register. Though, he didn't go inside and instead went to crouch down and lean against the wall next to the entrance.

This whole thing was a disaster, he though. Ever since coming here, he could feel his blood pressure being somewhere up in the sky. He hated this place for reducing him to this.

“Are you running away again?”

“Does it look like I'm running away?” Kirinji sighed when he lifted his head to look up at Tsukumo, honestly surprised that it was just him. “Did Kohaku sent you to make sure I won't do anything stupid?”

“Nobody sent me.” Tsukumo replied as he came over to stand next to him. “Nobody is forcing you to get along with Cobra and the others.”

“I know that.”

Naomi was nice and if he was honest, if he gave it a couple more tries maybe they could become something like friends. He wasn't sure what to make of Cobra yet though. He was kind of hard to read and surprisingly more of a child than he had expected him to be.

They were quiet after that, though after some time, he watched Tsukumo move to go over to the small freezer that stood outside the store and rummage through it before he eventually pulled out two ice cream popsicles and held one out to him, asking him whether he liked that one. Eyeing it for a moment, he nodded wordlessly and then straightened back up to also have a look inside the freezer just to check how their selection looked. He almost began to laugh when all he could see was soda ice cream. It seemed that Tsukumo had rummaged in the selection to check whether there wasn't anything else hiding underneath, but there wasn't. He honestly couldn't believe this. Following after Tsukumo inside the store to pay for the ice cream, he was quickly waved off by him, which honestly surprised him a bit. Looking around the store for a couple of moments, he eventually came back to the register and stopped in his tracks when he realized why Tsukumo was still not done paying. Both he and the two girls tried to calculate the change and were seemingly not able to do so, arguing with with each other what result was the right one without actually managing to find the right number in the first place. Taking pity in them because he honestly just wanted to leave, he went over to them and after looking over how much Tsukumo had given them minus what the ice cream popsicles cost, he quickly told them what the change was, which made all three stop and stare at him with wide eyes.

What was that reaction supposed to mean?

“You can calculate that this quickly?” Tsukumo wondered.

“That's simple math.” Kirinji shrugged. “It's not even large numbers.” Looking from Tsukumo to the two girls, he nodded over to the register. “Wouldn't it be the easiest to simply put in all the numbers in this and have it tell you the exact change?”

Apparently it wasn't, he found out when the girls told him that it was due to them not knowing how the register worked.

What idiot employed them without telling them how everything worked?

After finishing their ice cream, Tsukumo took him with him to show him more shops. He wasn't overly interested in that since he didn't plan to spend more time than necessary in Sannoh, but right now everything was better than going back to Itokan and facing Noboru. Part of him wondered whether Tsukumo was actually doing him a favor by entertaining him and keeping him occupied.

They had just passed a ramen shop, which Tsukumo had told him sold the best dishes, though their spicy ramen was a little too much even for him, when he saw Nika come out of a hair salon, taking not even a minute to notice him and immediately came running over to them.

“Hello.” She greeted him with a polite smile.

“Hello.”

“Naomi-san said you'll come visit today. I'm glad I didn't miss it.”

She was?

Before he could say anything else to that, Nika beat him to it and hesitantly asked him about his arm.

“It's okay. Still healing though.”

Apparently it was enough to make her breathe out a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness!” She quickly shook her head though. “I mean, I'm glad that it's okay. And I hope it's healing quickly.”

He couldn't help smiling a bit at that, which made her perk up and smile in return. “It's okay, I know what you meant.”

He wasn't sure what had made him walk back to Itokan, only trailing behind Nika and Tsukumo without contributing anything to their conversation, he didn't even listen closely to what they were talking about. Maybe it was because he didn't know where else to go since the bus stop was seemingly out of the question.

Walking back in to Itokan, he was honestly surprised when Kohaku, Cobra and Noboru had all left. Though, unlike Tsukumo who immediately asked Naomi where they had disappears to, he didn't care at all, preferring things to be nice and quiet.

After making sure that Naomi would have an eye on him, Tsukumo also left, causing Kirinji to let out a sigh of relief.

“That bad?” Naomi asked him not a moment later, smiling at him in amusement.

“Hm?”

“They put you in my care again. Must be annoying to have a babysitter at your age.”

“Very funny.” Kirinji quipped back, though he, too, was smiling a bit. “And for your information, I actually prefer it when it's just us, no stupid guys I have to tip toe around.”

Oh, how that confession left not just Naomi but also Nika stunned before they began to laugh softly.

“They aren't _that_ bad.” Naomi informed him.

“If you say so.”

* * *

It was quiet for maybe two or three hours with him sitting by the counter and scrolling through the news feed on his phone, enjoying how peaceful this afternoon felt. That was until the door opened and a small group of girls came in, chatting animatedly with each other. He glanced briefly in their direction and took note of two of the girls being the ones from the store Tsukumo and he had been to earlier. He was about to turn his attention back to his phone when he heard one of the girls speak up.

“That's him! He didn't even have to think about the numbers, just like a computer.”

“I already told you that it was simple math.” Kirinji muttered under his breath, though was still loud enough for Naomi and Nika to pick up.

“Making new friends?” Naomi teased him.

“Hardly.” Kirinji sighed and put his phone away.

What followed was the girls telling Naomi and Nika what had happened earlier at the store. Before he could try to leave, though, maybe go to the back to get away from the noise, Naomi pulled him down from his chair and introduced him. At least now, he could actually pin names to the two tall girls, Oshiage and Shiba. The other two were called Nonoriki and Ishikawa. Apparently, there were also two more girls that belonged to their little group, Junko and Asuka, but they seemed to be busy with their private life right now.

Whatever. He really didn't care about that.

He wasn't even sure how or better _why_ Naomi and Nika had pulled him over to sit with the other four girls, trying and more or less failing to include him in their conversation, which was mostly his fault for not participating in it. At least Naomi seemed to have enough mind not to blab out who he used to work for, which was probably the main reason why the others were civil with him. That was until she slipped up and told the others just _who_ he lived with and all about that incident where Hiroto had punched Dan and threatened Cobra.

He wasn't sure what to make of the girls' silence after that or them staring at him.

“You live with the Amamiya brothers?!” The girls shrieked in unison a few moments later, seemingly having decided to focus on that instead of the little detail of the brothers threatening some of their own.

“Yes.”

“How are they?” Shiba asked excitedly.

“Nice.”

“You need to tell us more!” Nonoriki urged him on with big eyes.

“There isn't really much to say though.” Kirinji shrugged, honestly not knowing what to say as he didn't want to violate the brothers' trust.

“There has to be something interesting to tell about them.” Ishikawa insisted.

“Yes!” Oshiage agreed.

“They're just normal guys.” He shrugged again.

“Eh? But they're so cool.” Nonoriki sighed dramatically, something the other girls agreed with, even Nika joined in, while Naomi simply smiled to herself.

Meanwhile, Kirinji almost choked on his breath when he heard the other call the brothers _that_ , his mind immediately recalling all the times where they had _not_ been cool at all, though he could hardly tell them about any of that.

“They're just trying their best after their brother's death.” He said quietly to himself.

The girls fell silent after that, with it being Naomi eventually speaking up again.

“That's right! Did you end up visiting his grave?”

“Uh huh, I did.”

“Was is as hard as with my brother?”

“Honestly? I think that helped.” He sighed with a light nod. “I ended up scaring them, though.”

“When did you not?” Naomi smiled as she briefly glance down to his left arm.

It was seemingly enough for the others to catch on and ask what Naomi meant, and since he didn't feel in the mood to relive that day, he nodded when Naomi asked him whether she could tell the others. It wasn't in detail, thank god, which was mostly due to her not knowing exactly what had happened and only knew the end result from what Kohaku had told her. But apparently it was enough for the others to stare at him with big eyes and open mouths.

“You should've told us sooner!” Shiba told Naomi, who looked just as taken aback as he did at her reaction.

“To go against Kuryu like that... That's so cool.” Ishikawa told him, which caused him to make a face.

“It's not.” Kirinji disagreed with a shake of his head. “It was stupid and reckless and exactly the reason why I told you not to mess with Kuryu.” He went on as he looked over the table at Naomi, who nodded slowly.

“I was just lucky that Kohaku saved me the last moment.” With that he got up and went over to sit by the counter again. He wouldn't leave, no. But he desperately wanted to remove himself from this situation because he could already feel dread creep up on him and didn't trust himself for his bitter and foul mood not to spill over and turn into something else.

* * *

The girls stayed a little over an hour before they left as it was already getting late.

After another two hours, Nika also left to go, wishing them both a good night on the way out. When it was just the two of them then, Naomi offered to make them dinner which turned out to be omurice. While she cooked, she told him how this dish was a specialty by her brother and an absolute favorite of Kohaku's. She also mentioned that even though, she tried hard she hadn't been able to recreate it the same way Tatsuya used to make. That confession alone was almost enough to make Kirinji stop eating, not needing the guilty conscience right now when he had just started to feel a little bit better.

It was weird really that she would wave him off with a pointed look at his left arm when he offered to take care of the dishes, reminding him of Masaki and Hiroto in that moment and how much they fretted over him and his health.

Letting Naomi do as she wished, he went to sit by the counter once more and wrote a message to Hiroto and Masaki, telling them that he was currently in Sannoh. He really hoped Kohaku would bring him home tomorrow. Then again, he actually hoped Kohaku would come back from wherever he had disappeared to hours ago and bring him home right now, so he could at least sleep in his own bed. Because as things were right now, he wasn't even certain where exactly he was going to sleep tonight.

It was not even half an hour later that the phone in the diner rang and Naomi received a call that left her quite stunned. Asking her what was wrong, he soon found out that Kohaku was at some bar and had gotten drunk quite a lot, so much so that the owner had called Naomi to ask whether someone could come over and pick up Kohaku.

So much for him being a reliable babysitter, Kirinji sighed inwardly.

“Where exactly is he right now? I mean the name of the bar.”

“Huh? Are you going to...?” Naomi looked at him in utter surprise, seemingly having not expected that.

“He isn't unconscious, right? Because I _really_ can't carry him.” Not that he would be able to with two functioning arms. Kohaku was just too tall and heavy for that to work, ever.

“No no, he isn't.” Naomi shook her head. “He's just drunk.”

Agreeing that he would help Kohaku walk back here, Naomi told him the name of the bar in question, Odake, which he had never heard of before. After quickly checking just where that bar was, he was already out of the door and on his way.

It took him some time to find the right place and by the time he arrived at the bar he really wished he had a car right now because getting Kohaku back to Itokan would be a real hassle. Stepping inside the bar, he was greeted with quite the picture, Kohaku sat by the bar with his head and upper body resting on his arms on top of the counter. From the looks of it, he actually seemed asleep. That was until the woman behind the counter lightly shook Kohaku by the shoulder and told him to wake up.

“Are you here to pick him up?” She asked, sounding relieved.

“Yes.” How he was supposed to do that, though, was getting more and more of a challenge as he watched Kohaku slowly lift his head and first look at the woman and then turn his head to look over to him. “C'mon big guy, time to go home.”

“Uhhh... Rin-chan...” Kohaku breathed out and gave him a lopsided smile.

“Don't call me that.” Kirinji sighed and then turned towards the woman who watched them in amusement. “Did he pay at least?”

“Not yet. But he can do that the next time.”

Sighing because he couldn't believe that _he_ was now taking care of Kohaku instead of the other way around, Kirinji shook his head. “Give me the bill.”

Looking over the bill and seeing just how much Kohaku had managed to drink, Kirinji couldn't help scolding him mentally. That man was a bottomless pit.

After paying, they finally made their way back to Itokan, though that was still easier said than done since Kohaku was so out of it that he had decided to lean heavily against him, while more than once breathing right in his direction. It was absolutely disgusting.

“You're such a good kid...”

“Don't breathe on me.” Kirinji hissed under his breath as he tried to turn his head a bit away, not that it made much of a difference.

“I'm sorry I couldn't save you sooner...”

Why the hell was he talking about that now? Of course he wished he had come sooner that day, but he had still made it right in time before any real lasting damage could've been done.

“It's okay.”

“No, it's not.” Kohaku turned to look at him with sad eyes. “Couldn't save Tatsuya... almost lost Tsukumo...”

Ah, that was what was going on. But he was neither of them and what had happened was his own fault. He wasn't a victim of circumstances like those two.

“Couldn't even help Mutsugi back then...”

Who was that supposed to be now?

“What are you talking about?”

“He just disappeared one day when we were kids... He's working so hard now.”

“Who?”

“Mutsugi...”

Yes, he got that. “But _who_ is that? Someone I should know?”

“Rocky.”

_The hell?!_

Kirinji stared up at Kohaku with wide eyes, not believing what Kohaku had just revealed to him. Part of him wondered whether Kizzy knew about that.

“But you were just kids. What were you supposed to do?” Kirinji asked eventually, still feeling a little faint from the revelation, making him feel just as light-headed as when he'd found out that Nikaido used to be close with Rude Boys.

“Just something...” Kohaku breathed out and then almost stumbled and Kirinji had to pull him quickly closer before he could crash to the ground because if he let him slip and fall, there was no way he'd ever get him back up on his feet. Too bad that Kohaku's first reaction was to grip tighter onto Kirinji, causing him to hiss under his breath because now Kohaku leaned even more against him, almost crushing him under his weight. In that moment, he _really_ wanted to push him away and maybe even kick him in the bay. Maybe that would sober him up.

It felt like forever before they finally arrived back at Itokan. Naomi had kept her promise to wait up for them and was now helping him maneuver Kohaku over to lay on one of the benches. Once Kohaku laid down and Kirinji was finally freed from the weight, he actually felt just how exhausted the whole trip had left him. Stumbling a couple of steps back, he fell down to the floor where he first sat down before he eventually just laid there, breathing heavy, with his right arm thrown over his eyes.

“You okay?”

“... No...” Kirinji groaned out. “Bastard tried to break my back.” He lightly kicked against Kohaku's leg, though that didn't seem to rouse him in the slightest. “The hell must he be that tall and heavy?”

“That bad?” Naomi asked, voice full of sympathy.

“Uh huh...” He nodded and then finally moved his arm and looked up at her, surprised to find her kneeling right next to him while holding out a glass of water to him, which he took with a grateful nod. Slowly sitting up, he took the offered glass of water and drank it in one go, though once finished was still breathing heavily. “I feel so gross. He breathed on me the whole time, I thought one of us was going to throw up.”

“But he didn't.”

“No, he didn't.” Kirinji shook his head and then made a face when he looked down at his shirt, disgusted over how much Kohaku had managed to make him sweat simply by bringing him back here.

Naomi continued to look back and forth between both men before she focused back on Kirinji and offered him a small smile. “Wanna take a shower?”

That sounded like heaven.

“Please.”

Making sure that Kohaku would stay put, Naomi took Kirinji to her apartment. The last time he would've protested at the mere idea to go to her place, thinking that it was pity on her part, but right now, all he wanted was to wash away the day.

He would've really liked to wash his shirt, but seeing that Naomi didn't own a mashing machine, he would've to wait until the morning until the laundromat would open.

What was he supposed to wear until then?

“You could wear one of my brother's shirts.” Naomi offered, something that caught him off guard.

“Definitely not.” He shook his head.

“Why not? They're clean and I have nothing else I could offer you.”

It felt weird wearing the clothes of a dead man, especially when the person in question was Tatsuya. But seeing that there was no other option since he was definitely not walking around half naked, he sighed and nodded. “Okay.”

Maybe he should've locked the bathroom door, but now it was too late for those regrets because both he and Naomi were staring at each other in utter surprise and on Naomi's part also shock since her eyes were fixated on the scar on his left arm. At least he had managed to put his pants back on before she had barged in on him. Maybe she had thought giving him a couple of minutes after the water was turned off was enough, though had probably not taken into account that he needed more time to dry off and get dressed with only one functioning arm.

“I didn't know it looked that bad.” She breathed out after a couple of moments, sounding a little faint.

Turning his body a little away from her, so she wouldn't be able to see the scar anymore, Kirinji could only shrug in response.

It took Naomi a couple more moments to finally snap out of her daze and then hand him the offered shirt which he quickly, or as quickly as he was able to right now, put on. Pushing the sleeves up a bit because the shirt was a little too big for him, he reached up and pushed his still wet hair out of his face, something he probably shouldn't have done, considering that it only prompted Naomi to gasp softly, with her eyes now fixated on that other scar.

“I knew from Kohaku-san that you were also injured there, but I didn't know that it left a scar behind.”

“He didn't see it yet.” Not that he planned for that to happen any time soon.

Eventually, they went back to Itokan, though what they found there made them both stop dead in their tracks and groan. Somehow Kohaku had managed to get up, but thankfully didn't get very far and was now laying in the middle of the floor, asleep and snoring softly. So much for him staying put. Wordlessly nodding at each other, they somehow managed to maneuver Kohaku back over to the benches, without him even waking once.

Telling Naomi that she should go back home, he sat down across from Kohaku with a sigh, intending to stay right there.

“You sure?” Naomi looked from him to Kohaku and then back.

“Just go home. I'll stay here and make sure Kohaku won't wander off again.”

Naomi sighed at that, though soon nodded. “I'll be back in the morning.” She promised and then wished him a good night before she left.

When it was just him then, he watched Kohaku sleep for a bit before he pulled out his phone and wrote Hiroto and Masaki that he was going to stay in Sannoh for the night, adding that Kohaku was also there, so they didn't need to worry about him being alone. Wishing both brothers a good night, he put his phone away and then went to turn off the lights. He was about to go back over to sit back down when he caught sight of the photos behind the counter. He had noticed them last time, though back then wasn't too interested to have a better look at them. Walking over to them, he couldn't help sighing when he saw the happy glimpses into a better time long gone. It was the same as with the photos Hiroto and Masaki had shown him about their own family.

“You're just like Takeru, y'know.” Kirinji told the photo that showed both Kohaku and Tatsuya back during their time in Mugen. “You just had to go and get yourself killed and leave behind a mess of broken people who miss you badly.” Sighing, he shook his head, not believing that he was not just talking to graves but also photos now. “You better make sure to watch over Kohaku and Naomi better in the future. And if you talk to Takeru, tell him to do the same with Hiroto and Masaki.”

Walking back over to the benches, he sat down across from Kohaku once more, wondering just what had made him drink so much since it must've been more than usual when it had left even Naomi so surprised.

Pulling out his phone, he looked through the photos he had taken of Hiroto and Masaki some time ago and smiled to himself, missing them badly. He really should take better photos of them, and maybe even some of the three of them. Those sure would be some nice memories.

He put his phone away after looking at the photos for a couple more minutes and instead settled down to lay on his back on the bench and sighed again, wondering just how he could've possibly ended up in such a situation where _he_ was suddenly the responsible adult, babysitting someone who should know their limits better. But who was he to judge how Kohaku chose to ruin his health.

* * *

By the time Kohaku woke up the next day, Naomi had already returned to the diner and was standing next to Kirinji by the stove, both of them talking about the omurice that they were currently cooking, while he offered Naomi to have a taste once in a while to check whether it was anywhere close to the one her brother always used to make.

They must've been quite the picture with their backs turned to Kohaku, with Kirinji still wore the borrowed white shirt since the laundromat wasn't open yet, while both he and Naomi were quietly laughing among themselves.

“Tatsuya...?”

Both Kirinji and Naomi turned when they heard Kohaku being awake, though looked a little surprised with what he'd said, especially since it sounded so hopeful.

“Are you still sleeping?” Kirinji asked as he rounded the counter and went over to Kohaku to crouch down in front of him. “You really shouldn't drink so much. Do you have any idea how hard it was to get you back here?” Despite his words, he smiled a bit as he reached up and carefully ruffled Kohaku's hair, who was still staring at him with wide eyes.

“I'm sorry.”

Kirinji merely shook his head and then turned to look back over to Naomi. “Maybe he should decide how good our experiment tastes?” Seeing Naomi nod, he went back to her side and together they finished cooking the omurice and then served it to Kohaku, who looked a little startled at being presented with that dish.

“C'mon try it.” Kirinji urged on Kohaku as both he and Naomi looked at him with hopeful eyes.

“It's good.” Kohaku breathed out after taking the first bite, making the other two look relieved at the praise.

While Kohaku was still eating, Naomi offered to take Kirinji's shirt to the laundromat to wash it, which honestly surprised him, but since he didn't know where that place was, he thanked her for her offer. In return he told her that he would keep an eye on Kohaku while she would be away.

“Honestly though, next time you decide to get drunk do it at home or here instead of walking off to some far away bar. You scared Naomi.” Kirinji shook his head as he watched Kohaku eat, having sat down across from him when it was just the two of them then.

“I don't remember much of anything from last night.”

“I can imagine considering how much you drank.”

This time, Kohaku didn't reply anything and instead continued to eat in silence.

“When Naomi comes back with my shirt, I'm going back home...” He began, though soon trailed off when he saw Kohaku's head snap up to stare at him. “Don't look like that. I really don't need a babysitter. As for you... you should go home and get some real sleep.”

“I'm okay.”

“Don't understand this the wrong way, but you look terrible and I bet you actually feel the part, too. So go home and rest or else you'll end up scaring Naomi even more.”

At that, Kohaku actually ducked his head, an reaction that caught Kirinji off guard, having not expected for the otherwise confident Kohaku to act almost shyly at being called out like that.

They continued to sit there in silence after that, Kohaku with his head in his hands and eyes closed, while Kirinji simply waited for Naomi to return, quietly scrolling through the news feed on his phone to pass the time. He would be lying if he said that he wasn't curious about what Kohaku had revealed to him last night, that thing with Rocky. It couldn't be that hard to look up any information about some kid named Mutsugi that had gone missed 15 or maybe even 20 years ago. There had to be some information online. In the end, however, he didn't ask about details since it really wasn't any of his business, but also since he didn't plan to go anywhere near Rocky and his club.

It was almost two hours later when Naomi returned back to Itokan, finding Tsukumo sitting next to Kohaku who still looked out of it. Thanking Naomi for her help, Kirinji went to the back to change, not feeling like stripping in front of the others, even though all three knew and had seen that scar. By the time he came back to the front, Tsukumo was still looking at Kohaku with concern, apparently even he hadn't seen the other so hungover until now.

After handing the borrowed shirt back over to Naomi, Kirinji told Kohaku once more that he should go home already and rest instead of sitting around and looking miserable. The fact that not even Tsukumo objected to his scolding spoke volumes that he seemed to think the same.

“I'll drive you home.” Tsukumo offered, already getting up from his seat.

“Nah. I'll just take the bus. Besides, you're more of help if you bring that one home.” Kirinji nodded over to Kohaku, who actually looked as if he was about to protest. At least then, Kohaku could try to break Tsukumo's back instead of his.

In the end, it was Naomi who told Kohaku to listen to him instead to staying longer than necessary. Thankfully, he actually listened to her, which was a relief.

Bidding his farewell to the three of them, Kirinji left, walking just a bit faster than necessary so he wouldn't accidentally walk into anyone from Sannoh on his way to the bus stop. The ride home was thankfully uneventful, while the closer he got to his destination, the calmer he felt. Funny how that worked, that even though he would be alone at home, the mere thought to finally be there, put him at ease.

The moment he was through the door, he breathed a sigh of relief and immediately wrote Hiroto and Masaki that he was back home. He didn't expect them to answer since he was certain that they were still busy with their work, but after what had happened last time, he wanted them to know where he was so they wouldn't worry.

* * *

The rest of the day went by in pleasant silence, with him eating the food Masaki had left for him, so he wouldn't complain that he wasn't eating. It really was so tasty.

He had just settled down to see whether there would be something interesting on TV when he got a message from Kohaku. It was late afternoon, so maybe he had actually listened to him and gotten some sleep until now, though what he could possibly want from him was beyond him. Opening the message, he couldn't help smiling. Apparently, Kohaku had found out that he had covered his bill for the drinks last night and was now complaining why he hadn't said anything about that.

Such a stupid man.

Writing Kohaku back, he explained that it was easier to do that instead of waiting for him to get his act together enough and pay himself. The answer he got was immediate, telling him that he would've covered it the next time he'd go to visit Odake.

He couldn't believe this!

Switching over to actually calling Kohaku, Kirinji waited until he had picked up before he exploded at him. “I told you this morning to drink at home or do that at Itokan. Or are you really that stupid to have already forgotten about that?”

“I...”

“What you? Naomi was so worried when she got that call that you were too drunk to go home by yourself. Just what were you thinking? What if you had tried anyway and something would've happened to you? Didn't you scare them enough already?” He couldn't believe just how angry the whole thing was making him.

Kohaku was silent after that for the longest time, so much so that Kirinji was about to ask if he was still there, when Kohaku spoke up again.

“You sound like a mother when you talk like that.”

“I'm _not_ your mother.”

“No, you're not.” Came the quiet reply and Kirinji could actually tell that Kohaku was smiling on the other side. “Thank you for your concern though.”

In that moment he really wanted to ask Kohaku just what had prompted him to get so drunk, but a tiny part of him was scared that the answer would be something he had already figured out himself. In a way Kohaku had reacted just like Hiroto and Masaki when confronted with that scar, though unlike them, he had seemingly decided to get drunk because he probably couldn't think of a better outlet. Then again, he _really_ didn't want an answer to that, so he left it at simply speculating about the cause. Maybe he was wrong about it all and something else was the reason, but that was for Kohaku to figure out because he really wasn't his mother.

“Are you okay over there? Not lonely?”

“I'm completely fine.” Kirinji smiled a bit to himself. Of course the conversation would come back to that. He wasn't a child or pet that needed company. Besides, Hiroto and Masaki would come home soon, so he had actually something to look forward to.

“I'm sorry your visit here ended like that. Next time will be better.”

“Mmm, maybe.”

Ending the call soon after that, he looked over to Takeru's room, wondering whether it would be okay if he had another look at those work files again. Last time, he didn't manage to read through everything, and seeing that he would likely be on his own for some more time and didn't have anything else to do, he could try to go through the files he hadn't read properly yet before the brothers would be back home.

That was the plan and it worked out quite nicely as he managed to work his way through everything before having a late dinner. The only question was what he should do after. He still wasn't overly tired and watching TV didn't sound too appealing, so instead he went back to Takeru's room and was now looking through the old photo albums, smiling to himself the whole time at how cute the brothers were back then. That was also how the brothers found him later that night, asleep while sitting on the floor in Takeru's room as he leaned with his back against the couch with one of the photo albums open in his lap.

He only woke when he felt warm lips pressed against his forehead and then his cheek, causing him to make a soft sound in his sleep, though slowly began to wake.

“Uhh...”

“Shh... sleep.” Came the quiet reply and for a moment Kirinji couldn't place it, but then he heard the amused chuckled close to his ear before he felt those same warm lips there.

Eyes slowly fluttering open, he was greeted with the most wonderful sight possible, Hiroto smiled at him with those adoring eyes he liked, loved, so much. “Hiroto?”

“Hey...”

Looking around for a moment, he soon realized that he was back in their bedroom, laying cuddled close in Hiroto's arms.

“You're back?”

“Uh huh, Aniki already went to bed, so it's just us.”

“Did everything go well?”

“Mmm, it did. What about you, did you have a good time with Kohaku?”

Kirinji couldn't help making a face at Hiroto's question. “So-so.” He shrugged, not feeling in the mood to share what had happened with Kohaku the other night though.

“Did something happen?” Now that possessive tone was back in Hiroto's voice as he looked at him with slightly narrowed eyes.

“Nothing happened... just missed you, both of you.” He smiled softly and then leaned closer and captured Hiroto's lips in a deep and slow kiss. When he broke away for air, he actually remembered where he had fallen asleep and bit his lower lip. “I'm sorry.”

“Huh? What are you apologizing for?”

“I shouldn't have gone in to Takeru's room without permission.”

“Why were you in there anyway?”

Even though Hiroto didn't sound mad, Kirinji still kept his eyes down. “I wanted to have another look at those files.”

“Why?”

“I thought if I knew more about your work that I might be able to help you with your jobs.”

“You're so kind.” Hiroto murmured as he hugged Kirinji closer and then kissed him again, an action that caught him off guard.

He wasn't mad at him?

“And what about those photo albums we found you with?”

Feeling caught yet again, he actually blushed when he answered with a quiet voice. “I wanted to see those cute photos of you guys again.”

Now it was Hiroto's turn to stare back at him and blush before he ducked his head. “Can't believe you like them so much.”

Watching Hiroto react almost embarrassed about that topic, Kirinji smiled again and then leaned in and kissed Hiroto once more. “I like you the most.”


	31. Chapter 31

It was three weeks (and so many more appointments with the physical therapist) later, that he got the okay that he would no longer need the sling, which was honestly a relief. From the looks of it that made also Hiroto and Masaki relax, so much so that they were actually in the mood to visit Smokey. Before they left, the therapist showed him (and the brothers) a couple of easy exercises he could safely do at home.

Once out of the door and a bit away from the other people, Hiroto could seemingly no longer hold himself back and hugged Kirinji all close and buried his face in his neck. And even though, he was a little caught off guard by the sudden embrace and open display of affection, he hugged Hiroto back, actually daring to also use his left arm for that. Apparently, that was enough to surprise not just Hiroto but also Masaki.

“Does your arm feel good enough for that?” Hiroto asked him, sounding a little breathless as he looked at him with big eyes.

“Mmm, it's okay.” Kirinji nodded. “I still lack enough strength in it, but I'm glad I can move it more properly now.”

Before he or Hiroto could say anything else to that, Masaki wrapped his arms around his shoulders from behind. “I'm glad your arm is doing better.”

“Thank you... both of you, really, thank you.” Kirinji looked from Hiroto to Masaki and back, smiling at the two of them as he tried desperately not to lose it in front of them, so he wouldn't start crying and scare them into thinking that something might be wrong. He was scaring them enough already without him having to add to it by being stupid again.

“You worked hard on your recovery.” Hiroto nodded.

“Mmm, we're proud of you.” Masaki added.

Both brothers continued to stay close to him for a couple more moments until they eventually let go of him. Though, before either of them could move away, Kirinji stopped them by holding onto their arms.

“Let's take a photo.”

“Hm?” Hiroto looked over to Masaki, who nodded back at him. “Okay.”

“I wanna take more photos of us if that's okay with you.” After that night a couple of weeks ago when he had babysat Kohaku, he had decided that he wanted more precious treasures in form of photos of the brothers, but also of the three of them together.

“Of course it is.” Both brothers answered at the same time, though didn't get mad at the other this time.

“You're cute.” He smiled and then pulled them close enough to himself before he snapped a couple of photos of the three of them.

“That many?” Masaki asked in amusement as he looked over Kirinji's shoulder to have a better look at the photos.

“Uh huh. I want as many photos of us as possible.”

While Masaki raised an eyebrow at that answer, though still seemed to be amused, Hiroto leaned closer and kissed his cheek.

“Leave him, I think it's nice.”

* * *

Eventually, they arrived by Smokey's room and were immediately greeted by him and Eri. The second they noticed that Kirinji didn't wear the sling anymore, they were all over him, asking how he was doing and since when the sling was gone.

“Just now.” Kirinji began as he briefly glanced down to his left arm, not really used to it being gone. “Still have to work more on it, but it's healing like it's supposed to.” He sounded a little embarrassed, even though he was actually proud of the process he had made so far.

Smokey let out a long sigh when he heard that. “Thank goodness! I'm so glad.” He said, looking and sounding so very relieved at the good news.

“What about you two?” Hiroto asked. “How are you doing?”

“A lot better.” Smokey nodded, briefly glancing over to a sheepish-looking Eri.

“Hm? What's going on?” Kirinji wondered as he looked back and forth between Smokey and Eri.

“The doctors said that I'm going to get released soon.”

“That's great news.” Masaki smiled widely.

Meanwhile Eri only ducked her head and then glanced over to Smokey. “I don't want to leave Smokey alone.”

Oh... That was why.

“You could come visit him together with his sister.” Masaki told Eri with a smile and turned to look over to Smokey. “Right?”

“I'll ask Lala, but I think that will be possible.”

And still, Eri continued to look sheepish.

“Mmm? Is something else the matter?” Kirinji asked her.

Eri looked back and forth between him and Smokey before she carefully tugged on his right hand to make him lean down, so she could whisper in his ear.

“I won't be able to see you anymore.”

Huh? She wanted what?

Thinking about it for a moment or two, he realized that they did get along well enough, so maybe they could call each other friends.

“Of course I'll come and visit Smokey, even when my arm is completely healed.” He whispered back to Eri, who upon hearing that began to smile brightly.

“Really?”

“Really.”

That promise was apparently all Eri needed to stop acting all shy.

Such a cute kid.

Straightening back up, he soon found an arm wrapped around his shoulders, which turned out to be Masaki's doing.

“What were you two whispering about?”

“That's a secret between her and me.” Kirinji grinned, which only grew when he saw Masaki begin to pout.

“You're mean.”

“Mhm, your mean little brother.” Kirinji whispered only for Masaki to hear and then had to bite the inside of his cheek, so he wouldn't start laughing when he saw Masaki pout all the more.

They stayed for a little longer, though before they left, Smokey stopped Kirinji and looked at him with intent. He had looked at him like that before. Back then, he had almost regretted asking about what was going on because both Kohaku and Masaki had been all smug about it later.

“Hm?”

“I know you said only to call when it's an emergency, but may I call you when Eri gets released to pick her up and bring her to my sister?”

Kirinji couldn't help blinking in surprise at Smokey's request, having honestly not expected him to ask him for something like that. He couldn't believe that Smokey apparently trusted him enough to ask him to bring Eri back to the rest of Rude Boys. After all, they could wait for Lala to come by since she seemed to do so every day anyway. And still he agreed. “Okay.”

“Thank you.” Smokey smiled and nodded, looking so very relieved.

Bidding farewell to both Smokey and Eri, they made their to the bus stop.

“Should we try coming here by bike the next time?” Masaki wondered.

Kirinji and Hiroto shared a look, both seemingly agreeing with each other without saying a single word. “Sure!” They nodded at the same time, causing Masaki to raise an eyebrow when he heard them answer in unison.

“I don't know if that's cute or scary if you do that.”

Kirinji and Hiroto shared another look, though didn't say anything and instead just smiled back at Masaki, who continued to look back and forth between them, though ended up sighing, seemingly resigning to his fate.

“What should we do with the rest of the day?” Masaki wondered.

“We could go out.” Kirinji suggested.

“That's so troublesome.” Hiroto sighed with a frown.

“But we're already out and on the way.” Kirinji pointed out with a light nudge to Hiroto's side. “We just don't have to go back home right away.”

Now it was Hiroto's and Masaki's turn to share a look before they shrugged at each other.

* * *

Once they got off the bus, they slowly walked back the main street while looking at different shops as they still needed to decide what exactly to do. It didn't take long before Masaki dragged them to a liquor store to pick out a nice bottle of alcohol to celebrate. While Masaki immediately went to look for something strong, Kirinji couldn't help joking that he just wanted to see him drunk.

Looking around for a bit to see how their selection looked like in case he'd see something nice, he soon noticed that Hiroto was no longer in the store and had seemingly wandered off somewhere else. Seeing that Masaki was still busy deciding on what to buy, Kirinji also left to go looking for Hiroto. He didn't have to go very far since he found him standing in front of a jewelry store and looking at the display.

“Found something nice?” He asked as he came up to Hiroto, causing him to jump slightly and then turn to look at him with a startled expression.

“I'm just looking.” He shrugged, quickly looking back over to the liquor store.

“Masaki is still occupied.” Kirinji informed him before he moved around Hiroto to have a look at the display to see what had him so interested. There were different jewelry sets on display, the one Hiroto stood right in front of were different silver necklaces, earrings and rings, all of them were decorated with several blue gems. “These looks so pretty.”

“You like them?”

“Uh huh.” Kirinji nodded and turned back to look at Hiroto with a smile. “The blue gems would look great on you.” He wasn't sure what to make of the wide-eyed look he received in response.

“You think?”

“Mhm, yes!” He nodded.

“You like blue?”

“Huh?” He actually preferred red if he was honest, but those particular blue gems did look really nice. “I like those ones.”

Hiroto only hummed in response as he turned his gaze back to the display. “Those are blue sapphires.”

Before either of them could say anything more to that, it was Masaki who made his presence known, shopping bag in hand filled with what looked like not one but two bottles of alcohol.

“Can you two not run off for once?” He complained, though soon fell quiet when he saw what the other two were doing. He took one look at the display before he turned towards his brother with a questioning look in his eyes, however before he could even begin to say anything, Hiroto had already reached up and pressed his hand over his mouth and pulled him a bit away from Kirinji. And while Masaki tried to complain and shake off his brother's hand, Hiroto only hissed something to him that made him fall quiet instantly.

Kirinji watched them whisper back and forth for a while, slowly but surely feeling excluded and irritated, especially since he became more and more convinced that whatever the brothers were talking about was about him because both Hiroto and Masaki kept on glancing in his direction as they continued with their hushed conversation.

Huffing, he glanced back over to the jewelry in the display before he turned on his heels and continued walking in the direction of their apartment. Yes, he was annoyed that the brothers were talking about him and not even seemed to have enough decency to do it behind his back, so he wouldn't know about it. But no, they just had to do it right in front of him. It hurt, and he hated himself for letting something so stupid get to him. He knew it was dumb to get upset about that, especially since he was certain that they weren't doing anything malicious, after all he also kept secrets from them. He also knew that it was childish to leave like that and still...

Coming to a halt, he realized that he'd made it to the pastry shop he'd been to before and found himself sighing. He might as well go and drown his sorrows in sweets. Glancing back to see both brothers slowly making their way in his direction, he didn't wait for them to catch up and instead went inside the pastry shop. Everything still looked just as good and yummy as the last time he had been here. Back then, he'd just tried to cheer up the brothers when they hadn't felt so good after receiving the news about Kamizono's death.

He was in the shop for maybe two minutes, busy looking at the cakes when Hiroto and Masaki joined up with him.

“Didn't I ask you five minutes ago _not_ to run off?” Masaki sighed as he came up to him.

“I didn't run off.” Kirinji told him with a flat voice, still looking at the cakes. “You and Hiroto seemed busy, so I simply went ahead, so you two could have your important conversation in peace.”

Masaki looked absolutely startled and taken aback when he heard how irritated Kirinji sounded despite looking rather calm.

“Are you mad at us?” Hiroto asked quietly.

That did the trick and made Kirinji turn to look at both brothers with an unreadable expression. He wasn't mad, not really. He was used to people talking about him behind his back and sometimes even right in front of him. Part of him had foolishly thought, _hoped_ , those two wouldn't be like that. They were the good guys, so they wouldn't possibly do something like that, right? It hurt, yes, but it didn't matter.

“I'm not.” He was mad at himself for letting this whole issue get to him like that.

“You do sound as if you're mad at us though.” Masaki pointed out.

He wasn't in the mood to talk about that, especially not in public, but as things were right now, it didn't seem as if either brother would let this slide so easily. Turning his attention from the cakes to the cookies then, Kirinji couldn't help sighing. “I don't like it when people gossip about me.” He could tell that his words that the intended effect when he saw both brothers look startled. “At least do it so I can neither see nor hear it.” At least then, he could pretend it wasn't happening.

“We weren't...!” Hiroto quickly protested with a slight shake of his head.

He desperately wanted to believe that, while at the same time demand to know what they had been talking about if not him. In the end, however, those questions wouldn't come over his lips and he simply looked up at Hiroto in hopes he would understand and tell him without him having to ask.

He watched Hiroto look over to Masaki, who shrugged and then mouthed something to him that looked like he encouraged him to tell him what was going on.

“I was thinking about buying _you something_ from that jewelry store.”

Huh?

“But then Aniki happened...” Hiroto went on with a sigh, ignoring Masaki's quiet protest. “And I didn't want him to ruin the surprise.”

Oh... Oh. _Oh!_

He really was a stupid idiot, it seemed, assuming the worst without any further information.

“I don't have pierced ears though.”

“Hm?”

“Those earrings.” Kirinji clarified with a small smile when he saw Hiroto look confused at his answer. “My ears aren't pierced. Besides, I think they would look much better on you.”

“Oh.” Hiroto nodded, seemingly now understanding what he meant. “Right...”

He really needed to work on that and not doubt them when it was clear that they were indeed genuinely nice and kind. They weren't like Iemura and would make fun of him... of his height or his age or his nervous ticks or his... his _everything_.

“Do you wanna buy something?”

Masaki's question made him snap out of his thought, only now realizing that he must've spaced out for a bit there because he found both brothers look at him with concern.

Great. He was worrying them again.

“I don't know.” Kirinji shrugged. “Everything looks good.”

“How about Aniki bakes something for us instead?” Hiroto suggested as he nudged him lightly in the side.

“What?!” Masaki immediately protested.

Hiroto, on the other hand, ignored his brother as he went on. “He knows a couple of nice sweets that go nicely with alcohol.”

“Okay.” Kirinji nodded eventually. That sounded nice.

“Good. Then that's settled. Right, Aniki?” Hiroto nodded as he began to lead Kirinji out of the shop.

“Nothing is settled!” Masaki went on protesting as he followed after them. “And why are you giving me orders again?”

“It's only fair after everything.”

“How's that fair?”

He wasn't quick enough to catch the look Hiroto gave Masaki as answer, but it seemed to work like a charm and instantly shut him up. On one hand it was nice that they weren't fighting any more, while on the other hand, part of him wondered whether he was missing something important. Before he could mull that thought over more, though, both Hiroto and Masaki dragged him towards a ramen shop they'd told him before they were frequenting, though had yet to take him to. But apparently today was the day. Glancing back over his shoulder, he saw a sushi restaurant right across the street, which the brothers promised him to take him to the next time. Apparently, they wanted to take him to all the places they frequented, so he would be familiar with them.

It was still a little weird to be included like that without them wanting anything in return. But if he was completely honest, it felt nice to be thought of in a positive way and to be included.

They went for tonkotsu ramen, which the brothers informed him was the best thing on the menu, so of course he had to try that. It was really good, he had to agree on that. It was so good that he couldn't help asking whether they came here because it was close to their apartment or because the food was so good. That, however, prompted both brothers to explain to him that it was actually Hiroto who had found the ramen shop shortly after they had moved here together with Takeru. Apparently, instead of helping the other two unpack, he had decided to run off to explore the new place on his own.

“He's such a selfish younger brother.” Masaki sighed with a slight shake of his head.

Meanwhile, Kirinji looked from Masaki to Hiroto and saw him roll his eyes at brother's words while muttering something under his breath he wasn't able to understand. “Why did you run off that day?” He asked him quietly as he slowly inched closer with his right hand until he laid it over his knee under the table they currently sat at.

“I hated that we had to move away and leave behind all the memories of our family.” Hiroto said so very quietly that Kirinji had trouble hearing it. But when he did, it made his heart ache and before he knew what he was doing, he gave Hiroto's knee a gentle squeeze, which in turn prompted Hiroto to lay his hand over his.

If he thought they were done bickering after that, he was wrong because as soon as the matter of who should pay was brought up, both brothers told the other to pay for the meal. Apparently, it was one of those days.

Kirinji couldn't believe this and quietly thought to himself that Takeru was probably laughing at his misery somewhere in the afterlife. Sighing, he told them that he would pay for them, and then when they began to argue that he didn't need to, he wordlessly stared them down while paying. At least _that_ managed to shut them up. He wasn't their parent or guardian for god's sake, but times like that really made him think otherwise.

Leaving the ramen shop, they passed by their apartment and Masaki quickly raced up the stairs and put away the bottles of alcohol before he joined back up with the other two who had waited down on the street.

“So where to now?”

“You need to buy ingredients for those sweets you want to make.” Hiroto reminded him and nodded ahead in the direction of the convenience store, that, however, made Masaki sigh and eventually nod.

Slowly walking towards the store, Kirinji nodded further ahead towards an area he hadn't been to before. “What else is over there?”

“Hm? Oh, more restaurants and an arcade.” Masaki explained. “Wanna have a look at it?” He grinned.

Before Kirinji could answer, though, Hiroto fixed Masaki with narrowed eyes. “You just want to put off making those sweets for us.”

“C'mon, you two, stop bickering.” Kirinji told them before Masaki had a chance to respond to his brother. A moment later, he took their hands in his own and then pulled them in the direction of the arcade. If he had the chance to explore the area more then he would surely use it, especially if he could do so together with the brothers.

“Is that really okay for you?” Hiroto asked out of the blue.

“Hm?”

“You arm... hand...” Hiroto nodded down to where Kirinji held onto his hand with his own left one.

Oh.

Kirinji moved his fingers a little and then gave Hiroto's hand a light squeeze, which in turn caused Hiroto's eyes to widen in what he assumed to be surprise. “It's okay.” He smiled up at him. “I'm going to work hard, so that my arm will be as it used to be.” He promised and then leaned a little closer to whisper to Hiroto. “I want to have fun with you as soon as possible.” He hadn't expected for Hiroto's face to turn so red, but it was a nice sight and prompted him to give his hand another gentle squeeze.

The arcade was a bit smaller than the ones he used to frequent when he was younger, but just as colorful as those other ones. He wasn't sure whether it was due to the time of the day or some other reason, but thankfully there weren't so many people here than he had feared there would. They walked around for a bit until he spotted a driving simulator that made his eyes lit up. He really missed being behind the wheel of a car, as odd as that sounded. But seeing how the other two had reacted the last time they had been in a car together with him driving, he doubted that he would ever get them in a car with him again, no matter how well his arm would heal.

“Wanna try that out?” He asked the brothers, unable to help himself sounding hopeful.

“Sure.” Both agreed.

When he had suggested the game, _he_ had wanted to try it out. But seeing both brothers sit down in front of the consoles had him frown at them. Sighing internally, he watched them play a round, again taking note that they really didn't know their way around a car even when it was a mere simulation.

Masaki ended up winning the round, though before Kirinji could even begin to ask whether he could try now, Hiroto demanded a rematch which his brother agreed to only all too willingly. Watching a little bit closer this time, Kirinji leaned closer to Hiroto and whispered to him how he should drive to win this round.

“That's not fair!” Masaki complained the second the game ended with him losing the round. “You only won because he helped you.”

“Then wanna drive against me to get revenge?” He couldn't help sounding eager at his own suggestion, so very giddy to try out the game.

Masaki looked him up and down as he pursed his lips. “That wouldn't be fair to you seeing how your arm is still healing.”

“Excuse me?!” He shrieked, part of him hated how high his voice had grown in that moment, while another part didn't care at all since his pride had taken damage. “I'm very much capable of beating you even with one hand.” Turning towards Hiroto, he pulled him up on his feet. “Move over. I need to teach your brother a lesson.”

On the other hand, Hiroto only nodded as he made room for Kirinji and then looked on as both men started up the racing game once more. They drove at an even pace for a bit before Hiroto noticed Kirinji smirking more noticeable and could seemingly not hold himself back from leaning closer to whisper to him. “You look kind of scary.”

“Good.” Kirinji whispered back and then increased the speed more and more, easily overtaking Masaki, who seemingly saw this as a challenge to fight as he also tried to increase the speed, though couldn't keep up with him.

“Not good enough.” Kirinji told Masaki with the same amused smirk as he accelerated more and more, easily taking the lead in the race.

“Just how fast are you going?” Hiroto wondered as he stared at the screen a couple of moments later, a question that prompted Masaki to glance over to Kirinji and stare, too, while Hiroto could only look on in awe. “This is amazing...”

“Not even close...” He smirked, looking so very pleased with himself as he accelerated even more, while making it look so very easy.

It didn't take long before he had managed to catch Masaki's car again and overtook him once more, prompting him shout out in shock. “I'm a lap back?!”

“And so you lose~” Kirinji sing-songed as the game ended with him winning.

“I can't believe this.” Masaki sighed. “How can you be so good at this?”

“Told you I'm a good driver.” Kirinji shrugged, but looked actually proud of himself.

Hiroto chuckled at that. “That was a complete defeat. You never stood a chance, Aniki.” Throwing one arm around Kirinji's shoulder then, Hiroto pulled him a bit closer and then pressed a quick kiss to his temple. “You're amazing.”

He would be lying if he said the praise didn't get to him, making him beam with happiness.

Meanwhile, Masaki wriggled his nose as he watched them. “How come you're only affectionate with him, while all I get is your cold shoulder?”

“You know why.”

“Yeah yeah, because you're a couple of lovebirds.” Masaki sighed, seemingly completely oblivious to both Kirinji and Hiroto going quiet when they heard that. “But I'm your brother, I deserve some of that affection, too.”

He could tell that Hiroto was close to telling his brother off, so before he had a chance to do so, he reached up and gave that arm around his shoulder a light squeeze as he shook his head at him.

They walked around the arcade for a bit longer after that before Masaki came to a halt in front of a crane game that was filled with bird plush toys.

“Should I try to get one for you?”

“Huh?” Masaki turned to stare at Kirinji with wide eyes and then shook his head. “I'm not a child.”

“But you want one, right?” Kirinji grinned. The silence he received in return was answer enough and prompted him to try and get one of those bird plush toys. It took him five tries, but eventually he succeeded and managed to grab one of the light brown, round birds with its big green eyes. Upon having a closer look at it now, he was convinced that they were supposed to be owls.

“Here you go.” He told Masaki as he handed the plush over, who took it and held it carefully as if it was something precious and fragile.

“Thank you.”

“Mmm.” Kirinji only nodded in response.

“Stop spoiling him or he'll demand even more attention in the future.” Hiroto murmured against Kirinji's ear, though was still loud enough for Masaki to hear and pout.

“You're the only spoiled brat here.”

“At least I don't need to be pacified with toys.”

Looking back and forth between the brothers, Kirinji couldn't help sighing when they were again bickering with each other. He doubted that they would even notice should he simply leave. Slowly backing away from them to test his theory, he went to explore the arcade on his own, though soon stopped in front of another crane game and smiled when he saw what kind of plush toys were in this one.

When he returned not five minutes later, he found the brothers still arguing with each other, seemingly not even having noticed him being gone. Not wasting any more time because part of him feared they might get thrown out if they wouldn't stop, he went closer to them and then reached up and grabbed them both by the ears which instantly shut them up.

“Will you two stop it?”

“He started it!” Masaki complained.

“Noisy.”

Before Masaki could respond to that, Kirinji lightly pulled on their ears, which made them refocus on him. “Stop it before I'll get really angry.” He told them with a stern voice, using what little authority he still possessed. “Will you behave now?”

Seeing both brothers nod then, he let go of them and instead pulled out a plush from the pocket of his light cardigan and held it out towards Hiroto. “Here.” He hoped that would prevent him from being jealous.

“Huh? What?” Hiroto looked from the offered plush to Kirinji's face and back.

“It was the only cat plush they had.” He explained as he nodded towards the black cat plush toy in Hiroto's hands. He had kept looking in hopes to find another crane game with a different kind of cat plush, but apparently these ones were the only ones available. Looking at the black cat with its big blue eyes and the cute crescent moon tag around its neck, he became more and more convinced that it suited Hiroto really well.

“Thank you, really.” Hiroto smiled so very softly as he looked at the plush cat in his hands, holding it just as gently as Masaki had done with his own gift.

“That's so cute.” Masaki commented as he risked a closer look at the plush cat. Looking over to Kirinji then, he began to grin. “Say, what is your favorite animal?”

Huh?

Blinking in surprise at such a question, Kirinji ended up shrugging because he really didn't know what to answer. He didn't have a favorite animal, but saying so would sound weird and definitely not normal.

Apparently, that was not the answer Masaki had hoped to hear because now he looked actually disappointed, and looking up at Hiroto, he saw him gaze at him with the exact same expression. Watching the brothers exchange looks, he began to have a bad feeling about his answer. Not having any time to think that over though, he found them dragging him through the arcade and made him look at the different crane games and plush toys, while asking him whether anything caught his eye. He was about to tell them to stop, so they could go home when he caught sight of a white bunny with light blue ears and tail. That specific hue reminded him of the blue sapphires Hiroto had shown him earlier. That was really the sole reason for him lingering, but as it was the brothers seemed to interpret it a much different way because suddenly they were arguing again, though unlike before they were merely playing rock-paper-scissors. He'd never thought he would live to see the day and witness the mighty Amamiya brothers do something like _that_ , but apparently today was special.

He didn't say anything as he continued to watch them. And really, what was there to say anyway? Part of him wondered, though, whether Takeru had been like that, too. If so, it would explain a lot.

“You don't have to do that.” He told Masaki after he had won their little game, though got quickly waved off. Watching Masaki try to catch the bunny plush, he wasn't all too disappointed when he didn't manage. After all, he had also needed several tries to catch the owl and cat plush toys.

If he had thought that would be the end of it and they could go home now, he'd thought wrong because no sooner than Masaki making room, Hiroto tried his luck to catch the bunny plush.

This had to be a bad joke.

Sighing internally, he looked on as both brothers took turns to try and catch the plush. Though, the way they went about it, made him suspect that they would be here for a while.

It was almost 20 minutes later that he was about to suggest to try himself when he saw Hiroto actually succeeding much to his delight and to Masaki's dismay.

“Here.” Hiroto smiled at him when he gave him the plush bunny, looking at him in such an endearing way that it made his heart skip a beat and his face heat up.

“Thank you.” Kirinji nodded as he took the plush, smiling when he felt just how soft it was. He knew it was silly to get so emotional over a toy since he was an adult, but seeing how happy Hiroto looked in that moment, he couldn't help but also feel happy. Maybe blue could become his second favorite color.

“Never thought you'd like bunnies.” Masaki commented as they made their way out of the arcade.

Kirinji could only shrug in response. It wasn't that he overly liked them. He was pretty neutral on all animals for that matter. The thing was that this bunny was a gift from Hiroto which made it so special to him.

Walking back home, Masaki told them that he would go to the convenience store alone to buy the ingredients he needed for the sweets. Hiroto, on the other hand, didn't seem to have anything against his brother's idea and only nodded back at him before he took Kirinji's hand and walked back with him to the apartment.

Once back home, Hiroto dragged Kirinji over to one of the kitchen chairs and sat down before he pulled him closer to sit on his lap. Straddling him like that, Kirinji couldn't help blinking in surprise. This was definitely a new thing since it was usually the other way around, but he found that he didn't care at all, especially when Hiroto wound his arms around his middle and pulled him even closer.

“Are you done being jealous?” He asked quietly as he wound his arms around Hiroto's shoulders.

Hiroto's eyes widened at that question, though instead of answering he ducked his head. “Mmm... sorry.”

“Silly.” Kirinji shook his head and then moved his right hand and gently tipped Hiroto's head up by placing his index finger under his chin. “What are you even jealous of? Don't you realize that you're my favorite?” He smiled and then leaned closer and pressed a soft kiss over the mole under his right eye. When he pulled back, he found Hiroto looking at him with wide eyes. “What is it? Do you like that?”

“Uh huh.”

Seeing Hiroto nod, made Kirinji smile all the more. “My precious nightingale.”

He wasn't sure why that pet name made Hiroto blush like that, but he found that it was a nice sight. Before he could say anything else though, Hiroto hugged him even closer and buried his face against his neck.

“There, there.” He murmured as he played with Hiroto's hair, feeling all warm and happy when he heard him hum in response. He would be lying if he said that he didn't like what kind of calming effect he had on him. Even if it was just this one person, he promised himself to make him happy.

* * *

It was almost an hour later when Masaki finally came back home, prompting Kirinji to get up from Hiroto's lap. Walking over to greet him, Masaki handed him the bags with the groceries before he passed him by and sat down on Hiroto's lap with a sigh.

“The hell do you think you're doing?” Hiroto growled at his brother, though couldn't manage to push him off since Masaki had thrown his arms around him.

“There were so many people at the store, I thought I would never make it back.”

Meanwhile, Kirinji looked from one brother to the other, unable to stop himself from smiling as Hiroto still tried to push his brother off, while Masaki only cuddled closer, by now leaning with his head on Hiroto's shoulder.

“You two are ridiculous.”

That prompted Masaki to lift his head and look over to him with a smile. “It's not fair if only you get to cuddle him.”

“Get off!” Hiroto hissed. “You're heavy.”

Eventually, Masaki did get off and then went over to the kitchen counter to unpack the bags, while Kirinji watched him, curious what he would make.

“Langues de Chat.” Masaki informed him with a big smile.

Kirinji only nodded, though didn't think he knew them, so he tried to look them up, but ended up drawing a blank since he didn't know how to even write that.

Seeing him struggle, Masaki looked it up on his own phone and then showed it to him.

“Ah! I know those!” Kirinji nodded happily.

“They're so tasty.” Hiroto told him as he came up behind him and wound his arms around his middle and placed his chin on his right shoulder.

“See? I can still bribe you with food as long as it's cat themed.”

“Huh?”

“It means cat tongues.” Masaki explained, causing Kirinji to blink in surprise, while Hiroto rolled his eyes at his brother.

“I'm not a child.”

“No, you just have a thing for cats.” Masaki smirked as he glanced back and forth between Hiroto and Kirinji. On the other hand, Hiroto only pulled him closer towards himself, much to Kirinji's amusement, while Masaki only raised an eyebrow at neither of them protesting his statement. “I don't even know who managed to tame whom here.” Masaki began, though soon found both his brother and Kirinji glare back at him, something that made him immediately shut up and stand up a little bit straighter. “Okay, that's definitely scary.”

“He didn't tame me and neither did I with him.” Kirinji began, his glare giving way to a much softer expression as he turned his head and pressed a quick kiss to Hiroto's cheek. “We just came to an understanding on _that_ matter.”

Masaki didn't say anything to that and only shook his head, seemingly okay with that answer.

While they waited for the cookies to be done, Kirinji used the time to try out some of the exercises the physical therapist had shown him, while the brothers watched him curiously.

“Don't overdo it.” Hiroto reminded him.

“Mmm, I know.” Kirinji nodded as he carefully tried to curl his fingers. The concern was really nice.

“Are you still interested in those sparring-matches I suggested?” Masaki asked out of the blue a couple of minutes later.

“Of course.”

“Do you wanna try, too?” Masaki asked his brother with a raised eyebrow as he nudged him in the side, which prompted him to snort and shake his head.

“No. But I'll cheer him on when he beats you.”

Now that made Kirinji laugh and shake his head. “I may be rusty when it comes to fighting, but I highly doubt that I'll ever manage to beat Masaki.”

“I could give you tips.” Hiroto offered with a sly smile.

“Hey!” Masaki protested. “It's not fair when you gang up on me!”

“You honestly think I used to fight fair?” Kirinji smirked.

“What?”

“Not a good person. Remember?” Kirinji reminded him as he pointed at himself with a small smile.

“How do you fight then?” Masaki wondered as he leaned with his head against Kirinji's right shoulder.

“Don't tell him.” Hiroto smirked. “I want to see his face when he finds out first-hand.”

“Hey!” Masaki protested even louder this time and then turned his attention back to Kirinji when he heard him chuckle. “C'mon, tell me. Please?”

“You'll find out soon enough.”

* * *

“These are really good.” Kirinji commented as he tried one of the cookies, much to Masaki's delight.

They were sitting by the kitchen table later that evening after dinner, with the cookies and the two bottles of alcohol Masaki had bought earlier between them.

Kirinji had honestly been worried when both brothers told him that they would drink both bottles of sake, remembering how drunk Kohaku had ended up not too long ago. At least they were at home, so he didn't have to worry about how he should get them home. Still, it was a lot to drink even for three people and he really didn't want to get too drunk, even though he didn't depend on the pain meds anymore.

“C'mon, we should celebrate that your arm is healing so nicely.” Masaki held out two glasses for his brother and Kirinji.

“Mmm, okay.” Hiroto nodded and took the offered glass.

“Shouldn't we wait until it's completely healed?” Kirinji wondered, though also took a glass.

“We'll celebrate then, too.” Masaki grinned and then didn't wait for an answer as he clinked their glasses together.

Shaking his head, Kirinji couldn't really believe this, though found Masaki's enthusiasm contagious. “Mmm, that's good.” He nodded after taking a sip of the sake. Reaching for another one of the cookies, he had to agree that they really went well with the alcohol. “Say, can you teach me how to bake them?”

“Sure.” Masaki nodded and took another sip of the sake. “Say...”

“Mmm?”

“Did that person who taught you cooking, not show you how to bake?”

“What...?” Kirinji blinked in surprise, having not expected for Masaki to ask about something like that. “Nobody taught me.” He answered after a while.

“Huh? I thought your mother or grandmother or some other relative taught you.”

He was silent for the longest time, only looking down at his glass. “I... don't have anything like that.” He said with a distant voice and then immediately downed the rest of his drink much to Masaki's and Hiroto's surprise.

“What do you mean...?” Masaki began, though was soon shut up by Hiroto kicking him against the shin, which caused him to hiss under his breath.

Not immediately answering, he reached for the bottle and poured himself another glass before he looked from one brother to the other. Part of him hated the growing pity he could see in their eyes as they gazed back at him with questioning expressions, while another part actually toyed with the thought to tell them more. Maybe if he would drink enough, he could go on with his life and pretend the alcohol had loosened his tongue to make a fool of himself.

“I don't have a family... at least none I can remember.” He shrugged and took another long sip of the sake, savoring how the alcohol burned down his throat. Glancing up then, he could still see them gaze back at him with questions in their eyes. “I grew up in a group home a town over. I absolutely hated that place... ran away when I was 15.” He told them with a quiet voice as he reached for another cookie.

Masaki and Hiroto shared a long look he didn't dare to read and instead kept his eyes down on his drink.

“We didn't know...” Masaki said after a while, which was met with a snort.

“Nobody does.” No, that wasn't true, Masato did, but only because he also grew up in that place, not that they needed to know about that.

The brothers shared another look before Masaki spoke up again. “Then... want to become part of our family?”

Huh?

Looking up, he saw both brothers look at him with intent, something that made his breath catch in his throat.

“What do you mean?”

“We could make it official, you becoming part of our family, completely legal and all.”

He didn't know what he had Masaki expected to say, but it had certainly not been _that_.

“You mean...?”

“Adopting you.” Masaki nodded with a small, hopeful smile.

This had to be a joke, right?

Looking over to Hiroto, he didn't see him appear to be amused, but actually look serious, which made his heart sped up noticeable.

“It would be an easy solution for you guys, too.” Masaki went on after he had followed Kirinji's eyes and was now also looking over to his brother.

“What...?”

“I've never seen my brother be so serious with anyone before, so...”

“Aniki.” Hiroto warned Masaki with a dark look in his eyes, though that was seemingly not enough to make Masaki stop talking.

On the other hand, Kirinji had just brought his glass up to his lips, needing something to calm his nerves.

“Hiroto can still ask you properly later, with a ring and all...”

He really shouldn't have tried to drink anything because the second he heard _that_ , he almost choked on his drink, having honestly not expected something like that and was now coughing badly, so much so that both brothers were up on their feet and tried their best to calm him, taking his glass from him and rubbing his back.

It took a while before he felt a bit calmer again, though by now he was completely red in the face while his heart was still beating a mile a minute. _Those words_ were still ringing in his ears and no matter how much he tried _not_ to think about them, he simply couldn't.

“Better?” Hiroto asked him after another couple of moments, having moved over to crouch down in front of him as he slowly rubbed one hand up and down over Kirinji's right arm to calm him.

“I guess...” He breathed out after a while of simply looking at Hiroto, still feeling his face being so very warm.

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything.”

“No, you shouldn't have!” Hiroto glared up at Masaki.

Before Hiroto could say anything more, though, Kirinji took his hands into his and made him look back at him. “Are you really that serious about... us?” He wanted to ask whether he was really that serious about him, but in the end thought better about it since this seemed to be the more appropriate question.

Hiroto blinked slowly back at him with wide eyes, looking at him for the longest time before he finally answered with a quiet voice. “Uh huh, yes, I am.”

And just like that, his heart was back to beating so fast that he thought he might pass out. His reaction must've been plain as day for Hiroto to get up and hug him close, though was so very careful while doing so.

“We can take things as slow as you want.” Hiroto murmured against his ear. “I won't force you to anything.”

Those words alone were almost enough to knock him out. Never had anyone ever offered him _that_.

Reaching up with slightly shaking hands, Kirinji hugged Hiroto back and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek before murmuring a quiet thank you against his ear.

It took a while before they let go of each other, though once they did, Kirinji found Masaki standing by his side and lean down to be on his eye level. “I'm sorry I startled you like that.” Masaki began with a sheepish voice. “I just thought since you guys seemed to be so serious about your relationship, my suggestion would make it a bit easier for you.”

Blinking slowly back at him, he felt his face heat up once more.

“Aniki, stop it, you're just scaring him again.” Hiroto warned him with a shake of his head.

“Huh? But what about the whole househusband thing? I thought you had already asked―”

Hiroto's eyes widened when he heard that and then quickly reached up and covered Masaki's mouth with his hand as he, again, glared at him.

Kirinji, on the other hand, looked back and forth between the brothers as he felt his face heat up more and more, though soon reached up and gently tucked on both Hiroto's and Masaki's sleeves to get their attention.

“Hiroto and I are just dating.” He told Masaki with a slight shake of his head and then turned his gaze to Hiroto, a small smile on his lips. “If you're really that serious about us, ask me properly yourself instead of letting him do it. Okay?”

“... Okay.” Hiroto nodded and then leaned back down to whisper to him. “Would you be okay with that?”

“I'm not going anywhere.” Kirinji whispered back with a small smile as he reached for Hiroto's hand and intertwined their fingers before he brought their hands up to his mouth and pressed his lips over the back of Hiroto's hand, causing his eyes to widen. “Let's take things slow for now.” He would be lying if he said he wasn't still reeling from the revelation of how deep Hiroto's feels for him seemingly ran, but he wouldn't run away. Yes, he was scared of screwing this up. But didn't that mean that he was indeed serious about this, _them_?

“I'm still here, y'know.” Masaki reminded them with sigh when they wouldn't stop looking at each other as if they were the only people in the world.

“Noisy.” Both Hiroto and Kirinji told Masaki at the same time and then laughed when they saw him look back at them with wide, surprised eyes.

They moved over to the couch soon after that, taking the cookies and alcohol with them. While Kirinji sat in the middle, Hiroto sat on his left, carefully leaning against his side and pressed soft kisses to his neck every once in a while in between sipping on his drink.

“You're ridiculous.” Kirinji giggled, though didn't stop Hiroto and instead only reached up with his free hand and petted Hiroto's hair, which caused him to hum softly. He wasn't entirely sure whether it was the alcohol, but part of him couldn't help compare him to a cute snuggly cat. It seemed like Masaki wasn't the only one who craved affection.

“You two are cute.” Masaki murmured from where he leaned with his head against Kirinji's right shoulder, watching them in amusement. Moving his head a little bit then, he whispered against Kirinji's ear. “Told you that you're good for him.”

He didn't say anything to that and only reached for one of the cookies and fed it to Masaki, who was surprised at first, but in the end happily accepted the sweet treat. Looking over to Hiroto, he saw him watch them with a pout, which made him slightly shake his head and smile before he reached for another cookie and fed it to Hiroto.

“Stop being jealous... told you that you're my favorite.” He murmured against Hiroto's ear and then leaned ever closer and kissed over it, which made him blush and snuggle even closer.

They spent the rest of the night eating the rest of the cookies and drinking while talking more. Maybe it was the alcohol or something else, but the brothers actually told him more about Takeru, how it was to grow up with him and how he had always looked out for them, both while their parents were still alive and after they weren't any more. Masaki could seemingly not help himself telling Kirinji what a little savage Hiroto used to be when they were younger, that nobody could tame him and he only grew up a little bit after Takeru had managed to get through to him. On the other hand, Hiroto told him that Masaki had kept on running after him as if he was a puppy, much to Kirinji's amusement because he could actually image Masaki act like that.

After a while and even more alcohol, Kirinji actually opened up to them about his life before Doubt, how he had grown up in that neighboring town that really had nothing much to offer other than two run-down schools that had nothing better to do than go to war with each other. And even after calling a truce, some idiot had managed to screw things up and made everything go back to square one only that much worse. And while he had made it clear that he had dropped out of school at age 15, both brothers asked him if given the chance which school he'd chosen.

“Neither.” Kirinji informed them after a while, downing the rest of his glass in one go before refilling it. The alcohol really made his mind buzz and loosen his tongue, but maybe that was okay for once, to share parts of himself he usually wouldn't with people he actually trusted.

He was more drunk than he wanted to admit by the time he told them how he had run away from that place in the middle of the night to try and get away from controlling people he couldn't stand and only mocked his issues and made them worse. He wasn't even trying to find excuses for the things he had done after. He wasn't a victim, but he also wasn't a good person. He'd done what he had to do in order to survive.

Of course Masaki chose that moment to ask him once more whether he wanted to become a real part of their family, something Kirinji answered with a low hum.

“I'll think about it.” It sounded nice, to have a real family, people who genuinely cared about him, he could admit that much to himself.

* * *

He wasn't even sure when they had fallen asleep, though by the time he blinked his eyes open it was in the middle of the night. Hiroto laid on his back while he himself laid sprawled out on top of him. Meanwhile, Masaki laid awkwardly pressed against his back while snoring softly.

He didn't want to wake them, but knew better than sleeping out here on the couch as it got too cold too quickly, especially without a blanket.

Getting them to wake up was easier said than done, though eventually he managed and then dragged both complaining brothers to bed.

“Lemme sleep...” Masaki grumbled, almost stumbling over his own feet on his way to the bed.

On the other hand, Hiroto mumbled something incoherent under his breath Kirinji wasn't quite able to decipher, and all he could make out that he was tired.

“You two can sleep in a moment.” He told them with a sleepy voice as he made them lay down, actually feeling like their parent, though that was probably just the alcohol speaking.

They seemed to be more out than usual because Hiroto didn't even protest Masaki also sleeping in his bed, but maybe it was due to Kirinji laying in the middle between them. Though, he only did so because Masaki had dragged him not so gently down onto the bed and pushed him in a position where both brothers could cuddle close to him. Maybe he was a little bit more awake than he wanted to admit after all.

It didn't take long for Hiroto to curl up on his left, with his head resting on his shoulder and one arm thrown over his middle, mumbling something under his breath that sounded like good night, though was soon out like a light. Meanwhile, Masaki chose to curl up on his right as he clung to his arm, again snoring softly against his ear no sooner than he'd fallen back asleep.

Sometimes they really were like children, Kirinji thought to himself as he watched them sleep. Blinking slowly, he turned his attention to Hiroto then and smiled at how cute he looked while sleeping. Were his eyes playing tricks on him or was Hiroto's hair longer now than it was when he had begun living with them? Was he letting it grow out without him noticing? He had to ask him when they were more awake.

He still couldn't believe that he seemed to have such deep feelings for him. “You deserve someone better.” He murmured against Hiroto's hair and then pressed a soft kiss to it, fighting with himself so he wouldn't cry, now actually regretting that he had gotten so drunk because it made him emotional. He deserved someone good and kind, without any issues or emotional baggage, someone who could properly protect him and love him the way he deserved it.

Closing his eyes, he leaned carefully with his head against Hiroto's. “I'll do my best to become a better person for you, someone deserving of your love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Kirinji is talking about Suzuran and Housen.


End file.
